or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › What age for bikini
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

What age for bikini - Page 4

post #61 of 120

I was surprised to find that I am not actually okay with my dd wearing a bikini yet when it came up the other day.  Luckily there were only tankinis in her size so I didn't have to cross that bridge.  I had a bikini when I was ten, I was very proud of having breasts and wanted a bikini to show them off.  My mom brought me to a swim shop and got me a very nice swimming one and it was also the most comfortable swimming suit I ever had.  I think part of my reluctance is that I am sad to see my little girl come to the age where she wants a bikini, not that I really care about the bikini itself.  I do worry about the wierdos out there who might see my dd in a bikini though.  We had a nasty incident where a guy stalked a little girl in our state so that also plays a small part in my worry.  I also worry that she will see herself in a more grown up light earlier than she should, like I did.  When we get to a time when my dd insists on a bikini though I will buy her a very nice one at a swim store just like my mom did for me because even though I am reluctant I don't think my mom worries outweigh her decision to choose.  I am still going to try to engage her interest in tankinis for as long as I can though.

post #62 of 120
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post


I wouldn't have any problems in Europe because it's the norm there, and if I was living there, it's what we would be used to.  But that's not the norm here.  So trying to compare it is pretty useless.

I agree with you. When I mentioned how kids dress in Europe it was just to illustrate that the idea of "bikini = sexualization and promiscuity" is more a cultural thing. Now when in Rome... I put a bra on my 2 y/o and don't dress my son in speedos (although I was tempted for a while).

post #63 of 120

Interesting. I grew up on the beach or in a river and all I remember wearing is little bikinis, course this is before sun protection days. Now you couldn't get me into a string bikini for anything despite being a smaller size. And short shorts or sheer tops? Not happening either! Like I said before, my DD1 wears a little bikini now. We tried MANY to find one that fit well. It obviously doesn't stop her because she was doing cartwheels into the pool there other day with her little friend that is a boy and his big teen age brother.  Being where we live now, almost all of our bathing suit wearing time are at in-door pools so I do not worry about sun protection. When she white water kayaks, we breakout the rash guards for protection. 



I did notice the first several times she wore the suit, I felt like I had to explain to everything we saw (small town) how she ended up in a little bikini. I was feeling that bikini on a child equals a bad mother. I was allowing her to buy into the culture. And then I realized that for my family, and my daughter, I don't care. I wore bikinis and turned out fine. Bikinis are NOT stopping DD1 being an active girl. And I don't buy into that I am grooming her to be passive.  I had to gently try to explain why a  girl who is starting to change should not strip in front of her 10 year old friend from school who is a boy and does "like" her and does not have sisters. She really did not understand. She kept telling me "but Mom, it is just a body, everyone has one.". A bit of a free spirit there!

post #64 of 120
I don't have a certain age in mind regarding when I'd allow DD to wear bikini. Really, it wouldn't bother me at all if she wanted to wear one now (she's 11), or when she was younger, or when she's a teen. That would be up to her. As it is, she likes full-coverage two pieces (tankinis, I guess, but I ones that cover her entire tummy like a one-piece would). She also likes the swim skirts.

Bikinis aren't a big deal to me. I used to wear them - as a teen and young adult. Even as a mom of several children I wore one. I wish I was in shape currently - I'd buy one.
post #65 of 120

Not that I've had to deal with this yet, luckily...but when my DD gets older, the rule is going to be based on the cut of the suit (or whatever clothes), not necessarily how many pieces it comes in.  I love tankinis, personally, and I'd have no problem with that.  Along similar lines, I've seen little girls' short skirts that are just cute and small-girl-ish, and little girls' short skirts that look like something a trashy teenybopper would wear.  The first is okay with me, the second is not.  As other posters have said, it's not the amount of skin so much as whether the clothing is sexualizing.


My rule isn't based on other people looking though...I think sickos will look no matter what.  I just feel that out of self-respect and some personal modesty, women shouldn't wear overly sexualizing clothes (at least in public :) though heck, everyone can flout the rules sometimes if they want--I'm not for banning bikinis or anything)...and that goes doubly for young girls who are too small to really understand the whole issue.

post #66 of 120
Id do these:

But not these:



Sorry so long, i couldnt make the shortcut work. For me, its all about the cut and the print. I dont think little girls belong in things that accentuates their chest area and has the same print that many grown women wear to be sexy.

edited for terrible spelling.
post #67 of 120
My DD also loves swimsuits where her "tummy hangs out". She is 5. To meet this request I recently bought a tankini and she is thrilled. Before this I choose long sleeve rash guards and skirted bottoms. Not for modestly, but because getting her to stand still for sunscreen application is a serious challenge. I personally don't like bikinis, but that is because my child's shape isn't suited to them. She is like a narrow egg, widest in the middle at her belly and smoothly shrinking all the way up. So all bikinis ride up on her. How could they not? Unlike a grown woman, there is nothing on her body to prevent the sliding. If my DD was a different shape, I would allow it. But then again the fortune I would spend on sunscreen would be substantial.

I also like 2 pieces for the bathroom issue. As a child I struggled with my one piece, so I regularly peed in the pool. redface.gif Two pieces really are easier to manage when they are sticky and wet and need to pee NOW.

My DD also regulary wears "boy clothing". Right now she is sleeping In very baggy Spiderman PJ's. So I let her get whatever she wants to wear as long as it is safe and I trust that as she grows her self confidence will allow her free self expression.
post #68 of 120
I prefer tankinis for all the reasons mentioned (mostly what is functional for a little girl who swims well and jumps and dives). My mom got my 5 y/o some shorter tankini tops this year (they looked longer on the computer screen than they are) but she's still able to play without being affected so I'm fine with it.
post #69 of 120

I think it is fine, it is however ridiculous seeing a 6 MONTH old baby wearing a triangle bikini hehe with their little fat rolls showing :)

post #70 of 120

Both my children wear long sleeve rash guard shirts due to sun exposure. Ds isn't thrilled about the shirt (navy--land's end, I think) but is fine with the long board shorts (super hero-with draw string) which is all that can be found locally; I still have shorts I ordered for him 2 years ago from LE that his waist hasn't grown into yet.  Dd is all about frilly girliness so I bought her a skirted bottom with ruffle to go with her long sleeved rash guard shirt (lime green with daisies). My top would be called a tank (I think) with a med skirt bottom; I also added zipper front, short sleeved rash guard this year that I put on when I leave the shade as I always get too much sun on my shoulders. One pieces were always uncomfortable for me due to my torso length (and super annoying for trips to the toilet), and just as annoying when I had one for dd.


Whether a bathing suit is one or two piece, they both end up showing more cheek than they are intended to do no matter what the age of the wearer. I'll probably continue to insist on a rash guard but give in on the bikini bottoms--the surfer look.


Originally Posted by SunRise View Post

For girls, I abhor the one pieces with all the frills and ruffles. What does that have to do with swimming - (besides overly frilly and girly)??? I stick with plain and a bit cute...regardless of it being a one piece or two piece. My concern is sun exposure, not sexiness, (although I dont like the triangle tops, they do seem like tops for 20+ year olds).

I just bought this two piece swim suit for my 2 year old.



What does "cuteness" have to do with swimming headscratch.gif? and I don't think a floral print is any less "girly" than ruffles. If you really want avoid both cuteness/girliness and exposure issues I'd go with a solid primary color rash guard shirt with shorts.

Edited by Emmeline II - 6/24/12 at 9:25pm
post #71 of 120
Thread Starter 

so after some debate in our home my dd got this bathing suit. 



we went to a spray park and she wore it there, but only for a couple of hours because of the sun.  then she put on the swim shirt with no problems. 

post #72 of 120

Very cute, I love it!

post #73 of 120

Glad you found a compromise that worked for all of you :)

post #74 of 120
Nope. We do swim shirts and boy short bottoms here. That's how I dress from swimming as well. Reasons of modesty and practicality.
post #75 of 120
Um, 18? I will never buy my girls a bikini,

It's interesting that I'm reading this today. We just came home from 2 days at the water park. I admit, I cringed when I saw young and teenage girls in bikinis. I hate the way they look.
I just don't see the purpose of a bikini. Why is it necessary to expose so much skin? The young girls and teens were also constantly pulling and picking at their tops and bottoms.

Plus, I've had 2 melanomas, likely due to sun exposure as a child. I see absolutely no benefit to exposing our skin to that much sun. So, we do either a one piece with a skirt and a long sleeve rash guard or board shorts with a long tankini top and a long sleeve rash guard.

DH and I were talking about this at the park too. He also felt it was completely inappropriate the way these kids were dressed. And we both found it interesting that the majority of boys wore board shorts and rash guards while the girls wore bikinis.
post #76 of 120
i have always allowed two piece suits and they don't have to be a tankini. However, I wouldn't allow "just any" two piece (or one piece) suit. I wouldn't choose a bikini for my 5 year old that looks like it should be on a young adult. I also wouldn't choose a toddler suit for my 12 year old. Now that my oldest is 12, we know that she will start attracting attention from boys. Right now, we look at the swimsuit on a case by case basis. One requirement is that she can play beach volleyball without worry. So, if the suit doesn't cover enough or fit well enough for her to move around (without worry) then that suit doesn't belong on her. I second the recommendation for Land's End. Their two piece suits for young girls cover well and don't look skanky in the least. Amy
post #77 of 120
Originally Posted by AAK View Post

i have always allowed two piece suits and they don't have to be a tankini. However, I wouldn't allow "just any" two piece (or one piece) suit. I wouldn't choose a bikini for my 5 year old that looks like it should be on a young adult. I also wouldn't choose a toddler suit for my 12 year old. Now that my oldest is 12, we know that she will start attracting attention from boys. Right now, we look at the swimsuit on a case by case basis. One requirement is that she can play beach volleyball without worry. So, if the suit doesn't cover enough or fit well enough for her to move around (without worry) then that suit doesn't belong on her. I second the recommendation for Land's End. Their two piece suits for young girls cover well and don't look skanky in the least. Amy


DS (just turned 5) was sort of annoyed at the pool this year that he had to wear a long sleeved shirt and other kids were wearing short sleeved "rash guards." DH took off his shirt and showed him the horrible scarring all over his back from semi-cancerous removals a few years ago. It helped make it clear.
post #78 of 120

It would be super interesting to see this discussion in the teen forum......maybe I'll raise it there.  We didn't do 2 pieces when dd was young.  As a preteen she did one pieces, tankini's, rash guards, and full body surf suits.  As a teen she has taken a pretty strong stand about wanting to wear bikini's this summer.  I think it has everything to do with becoming aware of herself, the fact that she can wear them well, and she is enjoying this particular part of her life right now.  I am not going to freak out about it.  She's bought some of her own suits, I found a few that were modest by bikini standards, and she has surf shorts to wear with them.  Honestly, most of her friends are doing the same thing at this point.  We talk about covering up out of the water, and have some cute cover up dresses.  She swims like a fish and hasn't really had any issues with her suits, so far :)


I am not interested in controlling what my dd wears, except in teaching her about being socially appropriate, and being aware of unwanted attention, and how to deal with it. She's very pretty and gets stared at no matter what she's wearing.  Maybe I would take a stronger stand if she was way out there with a very adult suit, but we are talking the juniors suits.

post #79 of 120

I grew up in the 70s in Florida and we wore bare midriff halter tops to school in elementary.  It was hot.  


I don't care what my daughter wears as long as it covers her privates and does not alienate her from her high functioning peers and open up her and the family to scorn.  I would object to trashy suits at the pool club the same way I would object to her wearing a full coverage Confederate flag shirt that said "The South Will Rise Again."  But a cute bikini from the Gap I have no problem with.


You guys may or may not have seen the new "microbutt" trend in swim team practice suits, OMG.  But they are becoming the new normal.  At least the girls are working out hard in them.

post #80 of 120

Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post

Some may say I'm reading too much into clothing.  I go on seasonal school clothes shopping rants about why little girl's shorts have a half inch inseams and are tight, and little boy's shorts have a 4- inch inseam and have room to move.  Why little girls' jeans are skinny/boot cut/low rise, and little boys are relaxed fit/carpenter.  Why little girls' bathing suits are minimally and strategically placed, and boy's board shorts are practically coulottes - ever seen a pair of Speedo swim briefs in a boy's section of a regular clothing store? 


This disparity drives me nuts!  


We wear one-piece suits here, for now.  DD1 had to use a 2-piece tankini because she was forever in between sizes in the summer, but now we are buying the 1-pieces from Hanna Andersson when they are on sale.  I don't like spaghetti straps, but the comfy-wide ones (crossed in the back for either).  I just keep thinking of all the annoying suits I've owned, and for jumping and diving and heavy play I always found 1-pieces to be the best for me.  


The triangle tops just seem a bit silly looking to me, but reading this thread has starting me questioning myself as to why.  I think to myself, those triangles are there to cover up, what?, little girl nipples only?  I don't know.  My girls' friend wore one to the beach the other day.  She looked fine, but I still think those triangles are way too silly and designed as wannabe-sexy.  But as long as it stays on, is comfortable, etc. I don't have much of a problem.  High heels for little girls, however......


OP, that suit looks perfect.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Childhood Years
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Childhood and Beyond › The Childhood Years › What age for bikini