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[waywornwanderer]

Hey All,

How does everyone manage to keep it together when it comes to working (or caring for kids, for you at-home mamas)? I'm currently a nanny. The boys are now 12 months and 28 months. I've been with the family for ten months :) I'm finding it INCREDIBLY difficult to be present with my little charges right now.

I'm exhausted, nauseous, get frequent headaches, and on top of that there's my preggo anxiety due to a "threatened miscarriage". All I want to do is sleep! All of this is normal for pregnant women, but I'm wondering how people reconcile their symptoms with actually needing to get.stuff.done. Ten hour days are feeling loooooong and brutal for me. Any tips?

Thanks!

[rachieface]

It is just hard.  Do they nap at the same time?  My lifesaver is napping every day when my 25 month old naps.  Seriously, I'm not sure what I would do if it weren't for that!  However, when I was pregnant with my son I was finishing my senior year of college and working part time, and I don't know how I did it.  Some hard days, for sure!  Time numbs the memory though. :)

Besides napping and trying to sleep a lot a night, I definitely am more hands off with my toddler.  30 minutes of TV a day, and I really try to think of activities that I can set up and then kind of step back from....lie on the couch while he plays.  I did that with the girls that I nannyed when I was pregnant last time, and it seemed to work well.  But that really depends on personality and how well they play together.

Good luck!  Early pregnancy is hard.  It just is.  Hopefully in a few more weeks you'll start feeling better.
 

[satorifound]

I work 12 hour rotating shifts and I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I was falling asleep at work which wasn't good, but I seem to be ok now.  I work in a dangerous environment so right now I am working on being present and not in pregnancy la-la land.  LOL  

[loveandgarbage]

I worked full-time when I was pregnant with DS1 and had to be on my feet all day-- that was rough. I just got as much sleep as I could the night before, my boss knew I was pregnant and was sympathetic if I needed to sit for a few minutes, and I just rode it out. With DS2 I was home with my toddler, but had a work-from-home job. I did all of my work after 11pm when I finally didn't feel like barfing. During the day I took full advantage of the afternoon nap, and let DS1 watch TV when I felt really sick (I had previously thought I'd avoid that!) Just keep reminding yourself that the worst of the exhaustion/nausea is going to be over in a few weeks. Maybe tell the parents you nanny for if you feel comfortable doing so? They might have some suggestions to get you through the first tri.

[whoabethy]

I'm a law student, so not working full time per se, but pretty much. I'm with Rachie about the naps. I've found that even a 20 minute nap helps me feel a lot better. Also, consistent snacking. My nausea kicks in a lot worse if i start to get hungry!
 

[iamkateiam]

My biggest problem is that I spend a lot of time driving around (I'm a case manager for people with developmental disabilities).  I've been trying to map out gas stations with clean bathrooms since I have to pee every hour or so. So far I haven't had any morning sickness, but I'm really worried about having to pull over the car to throw up...  I have been keeping plastic bags in my car just in case!

[Teles]

I'm a therapist working with forensic patients who are constantly trying to pull one over on me, but I'm finding it super tough to stay focused and too tired to call them out on their nonsense sometimes. I'm sure they like me better this way :)

This morning I was pretty confident that I was going to vomit on a client during his assessment and I had to keep it together while freaking out in my head over how I could maneuver the situation without him catching on, especially since he was going to be seeing my boss after he was finished with me and I haven't told her yet.
 

[waywornwanderer]

Thanks, ladies! It's nice to hear other peoples' struggles. Makes mine seem (more) doable. Days like today are rough: 7 am doc's appointment (my doc is 40 minutes away, so we had to wake up at 5:30 to get ourselves together for the day), no coffee, straight to work, 39459458 poopy diapers (not normally an issue, obviously- but with nausea and the baby's recent propensity for grabbing his poo? yuck), extra whiny/potty training toddler, boss' mother-in-law lurking around the house alllll day, plus food poisoning from dinner last night (TMI- but when I wasn't wrangling kiddos I was on the toilet)? Total nightmare. I've recently moved the boys' naps so they have a long afternoon nap together, which is heavenly. I usually spend it doing dishes, laundry, organizing clothes, making appointments, etc. I don't feel totally comfortable napping while I'm watching someone else's kids. :( My bosses know about this pregnancy, though, since I had to miss work due to a threatened miscarriage. So I'm sure I could ask. Is that appropriate? To ask if they're okay with me napping while the boys nap? I could use every spare bit of energy these days.

I'm so grateful for this pregnancy and hope it continues healthily. But dang. First trimester will be the death of me.

[Angierae]

1st trimester is so hard! Sunds like it was a horrible week on its own!

I just sat down to read a book to my son and fell asleep for an hour and a half. Luckily DH is sitting there laughing at me, cause I didnt even notice.

if you aren't comfortable asking your bosses if you can sleep while the boys nap, at least use that time to rest and snack and relax a little. And try not to do much but sleep when you get home. Even if you don't get to hardly talk until your husband until week 12.

It will get better fast! I was never this tried again until the last couple of weeks before the baby came.

[Gillmoro]

I can so relate to the workin' mama struggles! I am in my third year of med school and just started with the clinical portion of my program = lots more work.  Mornings have been a challenge lately.  I am so thankful I am having some symptoms finally but it comes at a bad time as I have 9 finals next week to prepare for, ugh.  Luckily, I will have a break for a few weeks after that (I plan to sleep the whole time).  I am just trying to make it through one day at a time and remember that (for me at least) it doesn't last forever.  Eating LOTS of protein has been helpful but I am starting to get to a point where I love something one minute and am so completely repulsed by it the next.  I also had a nanny position for a 10 month old boy last time I was pregnant and remember a very bad morning of throwing up where I actually had to call his mom to come home from work to help me get him down for a nap.  But luckily that was the worst of it.  I would definitely ask about the napping, it can help soooo much. 

[planteater]

Yep, it's hard keeping to a schedule that isn't your own when you're coping with a moving target of sickness while trying to keep it a secret! I'm a lawyer and this is a struggle for me - I have to rely on my mind being sharp all day, which is hard when WAIT, WHAT WAS I SAYING? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

All I can say is it IS possible to sleep sitting up in one's office with one's head in one's hands.

[dancingflower]

Eat well and sleep well and let it all else slide.

Of course, being realistic , there are all the things in life that you must do. Generally It's a game of reavaluate what is really worth the time and energy and considering what really must be done.

It's hard with work. Most of us, I'd assume, must work. Even hard if you work with children, which brings your work ethics really high. There is no letting slide here right? Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes just accepting that feeling tired and sick is normal can be enough for you to ride it out. Children are very resilient. If you, due to not feeling well, are not able to give to them what you feel they need, believe me, they will adapt. You can only do your best, no more.

And eat with them, a little all the time. I worked in a daycare during my last pregnancy. My best time with the lil ones, I must confess, was meal/snack time, when I alternated full spoons and bites in their mouths and in mine while we were silly at the table. Make snack an event, sharing the table together makes it more efficient too.

[waywornwanderer]

That's great advice. So far, I managed a very hard week just by "faking it". The two year old is so sweet. One of his favorite activities is "mountain climbing" (I hold him up by his arms while he walks all the way up my body, to the top of my shoulders.) He knows now that I can't do that or rough house with him as much. He says "Sarah tummy hurt?" and rubs my tummy :)

[jjarias]

Hi Ladies,

I am pregnant with my second child, and I also work full time. I am an Interior Designer at an Architectural firm..and yesterday as i sat at my laptop drawing up some plans...my eyes just could keep open. I had to get up to move around and keep myself from dozing off!!! hahaha.....My boss doesnt know yet so I have to keep it on the DL. With my first child I was blessed with no sickness and I keeping my fingers crossed that it's the same with this one. 

My mom always said to me that your first pregnancy is the easiest, because you could sleep, sit, eat, Etc. at your hearts content. Now I have a little one that runs my schedule after work!

[LindsayinTO]

I work an office job where my brain is required the whole 8 hours I'm there and wow...I'm really suffering these days! I wish the first trimester wasn't quite so foggy! 

[mamasnuggle]

Thank you DH for holding down the fort these days! All of these posts are resonating with me and I have taken a few great big sighs of relief. It is so easy as busy ladies to try to keep pushing through as we always do. It's okay though to follow your body. Before this pregnancy, never in a million years would I have ever taken a mid-day nap....there's just so much to do right? Now I take advantage whenever I can. The weekends are all about the nap! Weekdays, I manage to get through the day at work and then I nap before my toddlers bedtime and then put her to bed - often I will slip right into dreamland again. It will be over soon!!!

[typebug]

I JUST finished my Graphic Design BFA degree a week before we got pregnant. My plan was to start my own small firm July 1st and hire a bunch of freelancers to work under me so I would spend my days doing client wrangling and art directing etc. I'm in the middle of registering the business this week but I find I'm just on less of a war-path. I'm napping in the afternoons and not staying up past midnight. I think the business is just going to have to start a little more slowly. Oddly enough I'm ok with that. This is the new balanced version of me. I'm not used to this!