Can't afford the nanny anymore.. being a boss is hard to do!

[tammylsmith]

She has been great... we have her part-time and she brings her daughter, who is the same age as my 2yo son. Ufortunately, I've come to a painful realization... switching ds to daycare would be a $300/mo savings!! Over dd's school year that's a $3,000 difference! It has been lovely having her come to my home, but I think we need to make a change. Any advice on how to break the news?

This makes me really uncomfortable, because I had verbally talked about having her stay for the coming school year, and we had talked about what the upcoming schedule might look like back when I thought dh and I would have more income freed up than it turns out we do.. (I also thought we'd be doing private school for dd, but that isn't going to be a reality either... if I ever want to get a hold of my finances, I just have to tighten things up!) Having her work for us has such an effect on our finances that I just can't ignore the savings any more! I also feel badly, because she is a struggling single, young mama (21) trying to put herself through community college. She and I have also great rapport. Dh is begging me to be more objective about this though. She is not my responsibility after all. The daycare is a really cute, well-run center and ds is ready for more interaction I think.... I don't know.. I just feel badly laying someone off!

[liberal_chick]

I feel your pain.  We had to fire our nanny (much different situation, she went crazy!) and I had DH do it.  It was a wuss move on my part, but I'm way too soft and couldn't have done it.

I'd certainly give her a great notice so she can search for a new job.  3-4 weeks would be ideal, IMO.  Maybe more, if you can afford to hold on to her for a bit more time.  And maybe a small severence?  See?  I'm way soft.

[Hillary77]

Having been in this woman's position before I would 1) give her 4-6 weeks notice 2) write her a glowing recommendation (if she has earned it, of course) and 3) put the word out with friends etc.

[tammylsmith]

Definitely! I want to tell her as soon as possible, but in a way that doesn't make her day really miserable (i.e. won't tell her first thing on a monday as I run out the door!) We are going on vacation in a week. I think I will sit down with her and have a talk on the Friday before we go. That gives her a whole week to sort through her feelings without feeling put on the spot to watch the kids. It also gives her 8 weeks to look for a new position. I plan on helping her make flyers and business cards, will help her set up a profile on some of the babysitter service websites etc. She is such a sweet girl... a young but responsible single mom at only 21... I am hoping with the right recommendations and by working hard to get the word out, I can help her get into a situation that might even pay a little better. I want to make the break as easy for her as I can. In fact, we aren't really saying goodbye completely, as I will have her come back in the evenings etc. to babysit. I just know it will be hard news for her, and am already feeling guilty!

[JudiAU]

The best way to handle it is to give her as much notice as possible and help her find a new position. Give her a good reference when asked. And find out if she is available as a babysitter, both to help you out and preserve DD's relationship with her.

[HappyHappyMommy]

Are there any local email mailing lists for parents in your town/area? I'm on for moms in my town and frequently others will post in search of a nanny. Less often someone will post that their current nanny is looking for work (often because kids are transitioning to daycare or school or the family is moving) and they are sad to part with the nanny and when those messages are posted, there are often multiple replies with the first 24 hours from families looking for nannies. I think other families really appreciate hearing from a family who has worked with the nanny and by posting an mailing list (as opposed to a flyer), if another family has a question about your experience with the nanny, they know they can contact you. From what you have written here about her, I think another family will be very lucky to be able to employ her. And it's great that you plan to continuing the relationship with her on an occasional basis.

And, by the way, it sounds like you are a great boss and a great mama, wife, and person. You are doing what's best for your family, but also being very thoughtful of the woman who provided good service to you.
 

[LittleGriff]

I feel you. I was in the exact same position a year and a half ago. I was emotional wreck about telling our wonderful nanny that we were switching to daycare. The previous posters said it best: I gave her a month's notice (telling her very gently at the end of a day), reminded her she could take advantage of unemployment benefits, offered to spread the word about her, and in the end gave glowing reviews everywhere needed. She eventually found a different job and all was right in the world, but I'd like to never go through that again!

But it was so worth it! Not only did we save a ton by switching to daycare but, honestly, our children were much happier. And being a working parent just felt easier without the emotional burden of being an employer too. You wouldn't think it would be so tough, but I know it is! Just bear with it, keeping being the loving/sympathetic person that you are ... and eventually this moment shall pass.