We transitioned our daughter into pullups at 2.5 because she started removing her diaper. She is now 5 and still has UI multiple times a day as well during the evening. If I put a pull up on her during the day she thinks it's okay and voids in the pull up. She will simply throw it away and get a new one or if she voids in her underwear she removes them and gets a new one. We go through at least 25 underwear a week (I say underwear because it doesn't always seep through to her clothes). It's so frustrating and I have unfortunately gotten mad at her a few times over it. She also fights going to the bathroom, like it's a chore. She will cry and cry and I'm stuck on what to do. I don't know if she is being difficult or if there is a more serious issue at stake. I realize the evening is still considered normal and we wake her once during the night to ease the bed wetting, although she will lay completely soaked all night, she has no idea. It's the daytime I'm more concerned about, especially since she starts school in the fall. We took her for her 5 year checkup and the doctor suggested timing her to go every hour for a few days and slowly stretch it out. That didn't work, sometimes and hour would be okay but then later an hour would be too long and too late. I bought her a timer hoping that she would think it would be fun to set it etc. I explained that if she felt she had to go, she needs to go even if the time doesn't go off. The first hour worked and then she wet herself. When I noticed and told her to go to the bathroom she threw a fit and got mad that I made her go because the timer didn't go off yet. She is also ALWAYS rushing to bathroom. It's always I have to go now, or running etc. I wonder sometimes if she even feels it coming on. I would appreciate any advice. The doctor may recommend a uriologist next but I'm sure it will be a few weeks to get the appointment and I would really like to help her at home if I can.
Urinary incontinence in 5 year old daughter
I can sympathize.. my nearly 5 year old son is very similar... probably wets his undies about 4 times a day. (not totally soaking through clothes, but still...) I think he realizes but just doesn't care. I've got to drag him and threaten him to the toilet ALL day as he'll rarely go on his own. I've got a 2 year old who's potty training and is, in many ways, better with the potty than his older brother, so I think it's him and not my techniques, for what it's worth. We've tried a pediatric urologist, but the dr. stopped short of laughing at me for thinking there could actually be something wrong, and diagnosed him as a strong willed child, something I've heard time and time again, and that there's nothing to do but wait. I hate when people try to reassure and say, well, they won't go to college in diapers.. but kindergarten is a reality a few months away. Peer pressure doesn't help.. he gladly pees his pants at preschool and the playground without a thought.
The only thing I can suggest is definately do away with pullups, as your dd seems to view them as a convenient toilet. Maybe try rewards- I give M&M's if he pees in the potty before undies get wet. We used to do a treat at the end of the day for keeping his undies dry all day, but that reality has slipped away so we've stepped back and are just encouraging little steps. As hard as it is, try not to punish... it doesn't seem to help. Just go overboard stressing the positives when they happen.
pp suggested naked time which works great. my ds regresses though once the undies go back on eventually.
sorry I'm not much help, but just letting you know you're not alone. I feel embarassed sometimes and don't really talk about it with friends, but I know there are others out there quietly dealing with this too.
To the original poster-
I just came across your post in a google search for mothers experiencing the same issue as Im having. One of my 5 1/2 year old girls is having constant accidents- in school, at home. It started with Kindergarten- being afraid to ask the teacher if she could go. Now she's gotten into a bad habit of holding it in and then having accidents (2 or 3 a day!). And now it has spilled over into home life. When she has to go, she refuses- even when its ridiculously obvious she needs to go.
Have you made any progress with this issue with your child? I have no idea where to turn for help with this! The doctor isn't so helpful and I haven't found a child psychologist who is helpful either. Its not a UTI (we had it tested last week).
Anyhow- if you have made any progress in this area, would love to hear it.
Not sure if anyone's still following this post, but I would love to know if anyone resolved this issue and if so, what worked for them. I have a daughter who's almost 5 and is having the exact same issues most of you mentioned. She's very strong willed, hates going to the potty on her own and wears pull ups only at night. One of you suggested naked time, but I've been doing that for 2 years now and she's basically a nudist around the house now. LOL. And she'll sit on the bed or a pillow or a blanket and pee there rather than getting up and going to the potty no matter if I remind her a hundred times a day. I'm getting very tired of asking and having to run to the bathroom with her when she finally feels the need to go. Reminding her doesn't work as I do it every 5 minutes to the point that it annoys her. Nothing's physically wrong with her and there have been no real traumatic issues. Would love to know if anyone finally resolved this issue and what worked for them.
My eldest daughter was like this around the same age. Turned out she was severely constipated and had lost the ability to feel her own bladder :-( She developed kidney reflux, and had to have surgery twice to correct it. Now she's fine. Doctors can check the bowels with an ultra-sound--so no invasive tests required, we would have never known if she didn't start to develop UTI's.
Eldest son, is seven and still has the occasional urine accident when he tries to hold it too long (usually at the end of the day, when he doesn't want to use the schools bathroom and thinks he'll be fine hurrying home). We just talk about it, he washes his clothes and that's the end. I think it has happened twice this year.
Second son is four and is just now toilet trained. Except he recently had a case of diarrhea and decided after that pooping his pants was easier than remembering to go to the toilet. After I knew he wasn't sick anymore, and yet he still keep up the pants-are-diapers routine for a week we needed a new plan.
From then on it was his job to clean himself off and we would talk about how much harder it was to clean our whole bodies than it was to wipe after using the toilet. Then we would shower the rest off, because it really was a big mess. Then we would go and clean the bathroom floor, living room floor if needed and soak his pants/underwear/socks/etc. in the laundry room. It took two times to nip that way, and I didn't have to touch poopy clothes
There is no sense in nagging them to go constantly, it just stresses them out and they may not actually be able to urinate when they are all tensed up about it--until of course it's way to late to make it to the bathroom.
I would just have them be in charge of all clean ups, and talk to them about how much time it takes to clean up urine from floors/pillows/toys, etc. Show them how to clean the toilet, and let them know you only have to do that every few days--it's much faster and your things aren't getting ruined! Just steady, calm, repetition and get them to do the work--all of it, taking off clothes, cleaning themselves and the item that was urinated on. Let them take the laundry to the wash, and even start a load if you have enough ready.
This is not punishing, is teaching them the difference between "gosh I don't want to stop playing, it will take so long to run to the bathroom", and "gosh, I've been cleaning up myself/the floor/the laundry for ten minutes now--I could have been playing!" They'll catch on, and you'll have a better dynamic than the stress of trying to get them to go, and then all the work to clean up afterward.
If that doesn't work, make sure you aren't actually dealing with a medical problem. A regular exam won't necessarily tell you much.
My girl (now 6) started having accidents and bed wetting a few years ago. We figured out that it was food sensitivities AND oxalates. Basically, she is sensitive to oxalates in foods (esp high in almonds and soy) and can't hold her pee in. It also resulted in lots of behavioral issues. Goggle low oxalates/low oxalate diet. Also, plain (raw or pasteurized) milk makes her incontinent. I tested this out recently as I thought she might be over it. Sure enough, two nights of bedwetting when she had been dry for 4years. I started the milk, no wetting since. Pp who talked about constipation were right on according to our experiences...
Although in our house, it was salicylates. And for my ds, it not only resolved night bedwetting, but daytime poop accidents (he was age 7 when we found this). Since we all eat the same thing (so if one is allergic/intolerant--nobody eats it) going salicylate-free also cleared up MY excessive urination problem that had stumped the doctors for about 2 years. It was getting to the point where I couldn't take a 20 minute car ride and had gotten progressively worse in the two years before I accidentally "found" the cure.
These two things. Rule out constipation before assuming behavioral, not the other way around. There is a lot of misinformation out there, and even docs are quick to assume behavioral issues.