I am trying to make peace with myself, or come to a place that I don't feel is wrong regarding my 16 year old step-daughter's style of dress. She is with us full time, very minimal contact with Mom, and I have been in her life since she was 18 months old.
DSS wears bikinis, tank tops, v neck shirts etc etc. She is large chested, with a tiny little body, so most of (really all of) what she wears accents her chest. I am uncomfortable with this.
We don't put a lot of limits on what she wears. She is 16 and it just isn't part of our relationship dynamic. She is a good teenager, and shows common sense in most areas of her life.
I can't seem to get beyond the non-stop boob parade and can't find a way to talk about it with her that doesn't imply that she is somehow wrong.
I don't believe that she should dress differently because dressing that way is asking for unwanted attention.
I don't believe she should have to dress differently than her peers because she is well endowed.
I really feel like all of my reasons come across as slut shaming and I want to figure out a way to change that.
To be clear, I am not looking to change her, but am looking for a way to change my way of thinking. My DH is in general on the same page as me, where he is vaguely uncomfortable with her dress style, but can't seem to move beyond it, without trying to change her.