I have often talked about the importance of honesty with my 9yo son over the years. We have had very little trouble with it until recently. Just today, his friend came over with his iTouch. It was awfully quiet in the playroom so I went in to find the friend sitting in a chair playing with toys and my two boys (9yo and 6yo) in the closet playing games on the iTouch. My 9yo immediately started to tell me they were playing a game and they were robbers hiding. I asked him to come with me and told him that he had one chance to tell me the truth and that I am aware of what is going on. He immediately said he was sorry to which I said I just wanted to hear the truth. He clearly felt badly but I'm concerned that he's engaging in this behavior to being with - not playing the game itself but being sneaky and trying to keep it from me. Since his friend is here, I didn't have much of a conversation with him. I only said that when these things happen, it breaks down my trust in him and that is not something that will work in our relationship. I know he gets that but I think his draw to video games and technology is really strong, as it is with most of the boys his age that we know. I do let my boys play some computer games (with time limits) and they have a Wii that they don't often use but are allowed to (again, with time limits). But we don't have all the latest stuff and there's always more to want. We do talk about the phenomenon of wanting more and how the games are made that way - to trigger that desire (by levels or newer versions, etc.).
Anyway, interested in your thoughts. I'm wondering about a consequence that would make sense. I'm wondering about a different way to talk about this with him. I'm mostly concerned with the pattern of lying or keeping things from me.
Thanks in advance!