shaking my head

[lilyrn11]

I breastfed my older two children until they were 2.5 years. My baby will be 1 in a few days. I am really shocked about how many people are horrified that I am "still nursing" and their comments. I have been told it by different people that it is "child abuse", that my breast milk has "no nutritional value", and that it will make my baby grow up to be a "weird" child. (and even more shocking these are comments from health care professionals) I work full time (nights) and I still do pump twice since I am gone 12 hours. I won't even mention the comments I get from that. I just don't understand all the hostility. I am comfortable nursing and my son still wants to. It seems like the most natural thing in the world. The Time magazine article on extended breastfeeding sure didn't help. I wonder why our society makes such a big deal about such a natural process of feeding our babies. One woman told me that she didn't mind me breastfeeding past the age of 1 as long as I pump and put in a bottle and give it to my baby. Seriously! I smiled at her and I told her that i would run it by my baby and surely he would oppose. Cripes

[AdinaL]

Wow, it sounds like you are getting way more noise than i ever got. Sounds like you are totally doing exactly what you and your baby want.

I love that the one woman "wouldn't mind" if you fed your baby breastmilk in a bottle - because, yeah, that's totally her thing to give permission for....wtf?

[skycheattraffic]

Ugh reading reactions like those makes me want to nurse DD until she's in five and the more public, the better!! There's just no limit to ignorance it seems. The healthcare professionals really shock me. If anyone should know better...
I haven't come up against criticism but I keep the WHO reccomendation of at least two years in mind. I don't have much advice but I'm in your corner. I nursed almost 15 month old DD at the park and then at wal mart. I swear my boobs and belly are old news in this town. Even my brother stopped saying "ewww" in an affectionate way lately lol

[anjsmama]

People's uninformed opinions are often their strongest. They just say stuff, cause they can, cause they have (irrational) feelings.

My mom has taken to asking me when I'm planning to wean DD (17 months) each and every time I see her. I had been going with a scripted response... "I'm not sure. I don't have a plan. I'll have to wait until she's 2, of course, since that's WHO minimum recommendation and then we'll just see when we're ready."... but she won't stop asking so last time I just said, "Probably before kindergarten will work for us, I don't want her to be stressed about needing to nurse when she's in school." 

[MegaMomma77]

Ever since formula became the norm, people have become less and less used to seeing nursing AT ALL, let alone, a child over 12 months. People think that, because the medical advice is to nurse AT LEAST until 9 -12 months, that anything beyond that is unnecessary. I remember watching a friend of mine nurse her 3 or 4 year old, and I thought it was weird. I didn't have anything against it, I just had never seen such a thing.  I am nursing an 11 month old, and don't plan to stop anytime soon!

The GOOD news is, the more of us that DO nurse beyond infancy, especially IN PUBLIC, the more NORMAL it will become! I honestly don't understand the hostility people exhibit; the apparent disgust. They don't know or care that this is normal is almost every other culture, besides ours.

One thing that really bothers me, is the lack of understanding the medical community has about nursing AT ALL.  They aren't trained to give advice about it, because they don't learn about natural things like breastfeeding in medical school.  They learn how to treat disease with medicine.  The next time one of these "professionals" gives you the run around about extended nursing, tell them to do some research on it, before trying to give s#!tty advice.
 

[goldenwillow]

Gosh... came here to post my most recent criticism, twice this month.  My Son (whom turned 3 today ) has been nursed on demand since birth and is nursing still.  Within the past couple weeks I have been told that "It is your needs, not his."  These comments just bring me to tears now (not in front of the person commenting though).  I do not care about what others think, however, I didn't know how to respond.  My Son is very tall and looks older than 3 and we typically nurse at home but there are times when he wants to check in, so I do of course.  Family gives me flack about it as well. 

So how do you respond?  I am at the point now where I am done trying to educate folks that have their mind made up about nursing.  Looking for a quick, witty response. 
 

[Asiago]

AAP acknowledges that peds receive no education on breastfeeding in med school or residency. AAP reccomends they get their education from Le Leche League leaders or lactation consultants. It is awful considering that many give their professional advice, which is basically personal opinion under the guise of medical advice, and many parents follow it as they are unaware.

Western society in general is quite perverse in that they seem to sexualize breastfeeding. In one world wide study of 191 societies, only 13 societies sexualize breasts.

You just so happen to live in western society (likely) and we are the oddballs of the world regarding breastfeeding.

I am sorry that you are experiencing this, please know that you are not alone. I feel it frequently and I am just becoming immune to it (my son is 33 months). Even at 10 months, I could feel the eyeballs on me, as if I was doing something wrong.

Edited by Asiago - 7/26/12 at 7:36am

[silvercloud3]

pay them no attention.... they are living in the past... society made a horrific mistake in the 50 and 60's when it was not fashionable to breastfeed.. since then we have a generation of sick kids ...breastmilk is the best food on the planet... women who breastfeed are ANGELS  and way ahead of their time... I am a single male in my fifties and have consuming milk from the breastmilk bank and from private nurses who are caring sharing and nuturing women ... in Cal wet nurses are employed by the nursing homes and it is commonly used for prostate cancer...when will we learn  ...keep up the good work and spread the message
 

[CatsCradle]

Originally Posted by silvercloud3 

pay them no attention.... they are living in the past... society made a horrific mistake in the 50 and 60's when it was not fashionable to breastfeed.. since then we have a generation of sick kids ...breastmilk is the best food on the planet... women who breastfeed are ANGELS  and way ahead of their time... I am a single male in my fifties and have consuming milk from the breastmilk bank and from private nurses who are caring sharing and nuturing women ... in Cal wet nurses are employed by the nursing homes and it is commonly used for prostate cancer...when will we learn  ...keep up the good work and spread the message
 

I'm confused.  You posted in another breastfeeding thread that you and your wife utilized breastfeeding for intimacy and health but here you say you are a single male. 

[artekah]

Originally Posted by goldenwillow 

So how do you respond?  I am at the point now where I am done trying to educate folks that have their mind made up about nursing.  Looking for a quick, witty response. 
 

I honestly would start laughing in their faces! I'd say, "YEAH. I eat extra nutrient dense calories and drink tons of water and wake up during the night and restrict myself to nursing-friendly clothing and keep myself tethered to my child so I can't even go out of town without first pumping and freezing a stash, for 3 YEARS, because I had MY needs in mind. Hahaha!" along with a hefty eye roll.

Just let them know how stupid they sound, without even trying to be polite. They're not being polite to you, after all.

It pisses me off that breastfeeding can be so hard, and requires so much giving and sacrifice on your part, and you're doing something absolutely wonderful for your child, but it all goes unrecognized by society! Oh well--YOU are informed and that's what matters.

[goldenwillow]

areekah-  Love it.  I forget that they are not being polite, pisses me off as well.  Thank you for the nudge to speak my mind, I usually do.  It is that self confidence crusher when you are criticized as a mother.  Forever following my gut!

[MamaBice]

I always reply with "Well, if he is still breastfeeding when he starts college, we will have to think about weaning". Usually shuts people right up (including my family - they don't ask anymore after I told them that).

Stand strong and know that most of the world stands with you - it's just the United States that is really backwards with "Extended" BFing.
 

[pek64]

I have two sisters who are doctors. Both did a poor job trying to breastfeed and both have a child who was almost exclusively formula fed. My one sister told me she had a couple hours instruction in breastfeeding in medical school (in case they had to deal with a parent doing that sort of thing), and two weeks of training in formula use. Granted, that was many years ago now, but the lack of knowledge of health care providers doesn't surprise me.

What does bother me is the number of people who have told me that all health care providers know what's best, and give a doctor touting formula as the primary reason breastfeeding was dropped or never even tried.

[RStelle]

My dd is 16 months and very tall, and i am starting to notice the looks and getting some comments. It really bothers me. We just went on vacation to Cape Cod and I felt like people were much less excepting there than in crunchy Vermont. I got a few "If she's old enough to ask for it she's too old to have it" comments.  Also the "You're STILL nursing???!" I've been hearing a lot lately. DD is shy and always wants to nurse in new situations or when there are new people around, which means we are more likely to be in a situation where we are judged. I am not confrontational and I always end up feeling bad for not standing up for us. I need to work on my response, I guess. 

[GoMamaMel]

my goodness! where in california are you living to get such criticism? I live in CA as well and haven't faced as many comments as you. I was under the impression that this is a pretty liberal state and somewhat more accepting of things such as long-term nursing. I'll agree with what others have said before me and encourage you to pay them no attention! you know that you're doing whats best for your children, and thats what matters most! you go mama!

sorry you've had to put up with so much of people's ignorance.