RE: OP's Dh's cousin,
With homebirth, the hospital should always be in the plan, its just plan B.
Also, while midwives do clean up fast, how much mess everyone else sees will vary based on where you have the baby within your home, and when they see the birth site. You, and even DH, probably won't see much beyond that cute red wrinkly face. At my SIL's birth, every woman in the family was invited to the birth room, and we were kinda suprised by how yucky the place looked. The dark room plus the bloody water (they used a waterbirth tub with clear sides) was not a pretty sight. Fifteen minutes later it was all clean and bright and nice, the tub looked so clean the kids asked if they could play in there.