I need support

[Becky Wheeler]

I'm Bipolar and am on Lamictal for it. I missed 2 doses, because this last week has been hectic. Now, I felt manic the last 2 days and now, I'm really down and depressed. I can't stop thinking to myself "I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life." I know it will pass as soon as I get stable again, in about a week. It's just hard to think these things right now. I can't get anything done around the house and it's not helping my mental state at all. It's driving me deeper and I feel like I'm hardly hanging on. I just need to hear that I'm not alone and to hear that it WILL get better, because even though I KNOW it'll be better, it's hard to believe it. I'm not going to hurt myself, but I hate being in this place mentally. 

[Imakcerka]

did you take anything today? do you have anyone to help you with the kids today?

[meandmine]

Just want you to know someone else saw your post and is sending you positive thoughts.  I hope there is someone else nearby that can provide irl support while you climb back out of your depression.

M

[Becky Wheeler]

I have been taking my meds since missing the 2 doses. I told my husband how I felt, and he wasn't of much help. I don't think he knows how to really help. I don't know anyone in my location that has bipolar that can commiserate, but by mid-day, I felt a little better. I don't miss feeling that way and I hate when I can't control the feelings I have. Thank you guys for responding.

[abbylotus]

Did you call your doctor, Mama?

[Becky Wheeler]

haha Funny you should ask. I went to get a refill today and come to find out that my MHSP(Montana Mental Health Aid) expired LAST MONTH. Since I wasn't informed of this until an hour ago, I wasn't able to submit an application and give them the proper documents in time. So I'm SOL for the weekend. 3 days without my meds. This is gonna throw me for a loop. They were supposed to mail me a new application before my coverage expired, so I WOULDN'T be in this situation. I'm beyond mad.

[lunarlady]

I'm so sorry.  I hate knowing that that medication that could make me feel better is just behind that counter, but I'm unable to get the appointment with the doctor to get the prescription to get the drug.  Gurr....

I hope life conspires to send you a smooth and easy weekend in compensation for having to go through it with out of whack brain chemistry.

[Becky Wheeler]

I'm all screwed up still. Up and down, can't sleep right. And when I'm like this, it's hard to remember to take my meds everyday.

[lilgreen]

It will get better. Go easy on yourself. You are going to be ok. Big huge hugs xo

[rosadesal]

Originally Posted by Becky Wheeler 

I'm all screwed up still. Up and down, can't sleep right. And when I'm like this, it's hard to remember to take my meds everyday.

can you make yourself a reminder? work on a craft project to keep your hands busy? a sign?

[Becky Wheeler]

Originally Posted by rosadesal 

can you make yourself a reminder? work on a craft project to keep your hands busy? a sign?

I've tried setting alarms, but when I'm like this, I get flighty, distracted and put things off. The alarm will go off to take my meds, then one of the kids will ask for something and then I won't take it that day because I forget. *sigh* It's been almost a month since I felt normal.

[APToddlerMama]

Hang in there. Sending you a hug....

[Becky Wheeler]

Thanks. I've taken my meds 3 days in a row now, so hopefully I don't forget for the next 10 or so days.

[lilgreen]

How are you?

[Becky Wheeler]

Originally Posted by lilgreen 

How are you?

I'm doing a little better. I forgot my meds the other day, but I'm getting more consistent and my sleep is better. Thank you guys for listening. It's been a hard month.