Mostly copied from BSL Grads: Newborn parenting... not all it is cracked up to be! Little guy has been enormously fussy the last few days, especially at night, so Pirate and I have been doing shifts staying up with a baby that is often screaming inconsolably. He is about to wake up, it sounds like, so no more for now! Except to say good eye to gozal - That is a monkey on the onesie!
Infertility ONE Thread GRADUATES!!! - Summer 2012 - Page 5
Lots that I should respond to, but I think I'm going to go back to sleep while I can. Just wanted to update and say that my milk has come in, and we're doing way, way better with breastfeeding, which is make life (especially at night) much better for everyone. Poor dh can't seem to sleep/get back to sleep, so he's really struggling. I have my moments, still, but I am doing okay. I'm a little daunted by how life-consuming it is going to be to feed this little guy, but I'm trying to remember how much I wanted to be a SAHM, to make this my life. Baby is so precious and cute and I worry about him so, so much, but really enjoy looking at his sweet sleeping face. Slowly but surely we are making it through each new hurdle. I'm sure I'll be waiting for the "easy" part for the rest of my life, but after days of worrying about no dirty diapers, I'll take a pile of pee-soaked clothes and blankets with gratitude for now!
Hope everyone is doing well, and maybe someday I can actually properly get back to people!
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Congratulations Monkey! He looks adorable! Take care of yourself and we'll wait patiently for your updates! :-)
Now to catch up on everyone else @_@
Where is everyone?
Monkey - Newborns are not easy. Some are easier than others. My experience with a newborn was pretty much the most miserable I've ever been. I had days when I couldn't tell you the last day I had a shower!! Hang in there. It takes time to figure out what will work and what doesn't.
Gozal - You most definitely are not the only one having to slow down. It's so nice that you have people to go the store for you. My DH would go, but he doesn't always come back with I what I really wanted. Plus, I hate to ask him to go after he has been at work all day. For now I just make a lot of mini trips instead of one big trip. Sometime in Sept. I'm going to Sam's or Costco and buying lots of things in bulk so will have stuff for a while after the baby is born.
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Thread crashing to say congrats Monkey!!! He is absolutely adorable! I'll have to agree, newborns are way harder than anyone lets on to :) Sounds like you are doing a great job...keep enjoying the sleepless nights/days with your tiny baby, it will be over before you know it
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Monkey, he's sooooo cute!!! Congrats again! yah!
Gozal, oh my gosh, where has the time gone! you're almost there, lady! How are you feeling!?
Hi to everyone else! Still lurking to see how everyone is doing although it has gotten much busier so i haven't been able to follow as closely as I would like. Everything going well here, although I'm dreading going back to work next week. Sigh. I didn't think I would love being around my kids as much as I do. I love my work but I looooove seeing the little ones doing yet another new thing.
Okay, baby is sleeping on my chest in the Ergo, so I'm going to see if I can do a real update! (Of course, as soon as the key started clacking, he wiggled, so we'll see!)
Thanks to all the stalkers who popped in to congratulate me. Still cheering you on! (Sila, Cait, Blue, Milk, Belly, and anyone else I missed!) I am also stalking/cheering/praying for all of you in your various stages of this IF journey.
gozal - Hope you are doing okay and being able to get some rest. As far as the rental thing goes for baby carriers, it's on a month-to-month basis, and they send you everything you need to mail it back, including packaging, so it's super easy to just drop it in the mail when you want to return it. I'm glad I rented the ring sling, because it is NOT working for me at all - glad I paid less than $20 to find that out! I do kind of want to get someone who really knows how they work to help me with it in person, but after multiple watchings of the instructional videos and many attempts on my own, I'm not that excited about it. Oh, and when I posted about daddy being tired of bouncing the baby - he was okay with bouncing him, he just wanted me to come to bed, too!
wissa - I wish I had an exercise ball! Maybe I can put it on my Christmas list. :) Baby boy definitely does love bouncing! I thought about gripe water, but wasn't sure if I should try it. He is doing better now, so I'm leaving that decision on hold for the time being. As far as my stitches, well, I hope they did them right, too! But I did have them checked at 9 days postpartum by a different midwife than the one who did them, and she said everything looked great, like I was stitched up perfect and everything was healing as it should. (Which does not mean it didn't/doesn't HURT!) Since the comment about the stitches was completely unsolicited on my part, I trust that they were done well. And yeah, the mw who did them was a CNM with many years of experience. Also, I'm glad to know I'm not a complete weirdo for struggling with his newborn days. Everyone else is just drooling over him, and everyone who's had kids talks about how fast they grow up, and I'm like... I don't think I've gotten enough sleep to think straight in a year. Even though he's only two weeks old. Which isn't to say that I don't drool over him sometimes, too... I just also cry on his poor little head sometimes!
gozal & wissa - You ladies are next, and Gem isn't too far behind! Getting excited for you! I actually just got a text from one of my best friends, the one who was due a month after me... she is in labor! So my little guy was 4 days "late" and hers is probably going to be 5 or 6 days "early", so there going to be even closer together than we thought.
AFM, need to run to the restroom, but I don't want to lose what I've typed... hopefully back in a minute with more, if baby cooperates!
Okay, trying again - potty break turned into a potty/nursing/nap/lunch/laundry/etc. break!
AFM, doing okay. Doing much better today since Baby Bird only woke me up once in the night. Okay, actually, I woke HIM up, because it had been 4 hours or more since he'd eaten, and I was definitely ready for him to do so! Apparently, at some time after, or possibly before (or both) this feeding, Pirate was waking up every so often to bounce him because he was making noise. (Yes, my baby is now sleeping in a bouncy seat. If this is a safety hazard, I think I'd live happier not knowing that.) So I slept from the end of his 3:30 AM feeding until the alarm went off at 7, when I woke up and fed him again before taking Pirate to work. (Yes, Pirate's car is still down for the count - maybe more on that later. It at least starts now.) I feel bad not hearing him, but I guess he couldn't have been that loud or that hungry if Pirate was able to bounce him back to sleep. Taking care of a newborn is pretty exhausting. All I really get done in a day is basically food, sleep, and potty for me and the baby. Maybe a load of laundry or a simple meal if I'm lucky. Two days ago, my mom came to help, and I managed to get in a pediatrician visit (turns out congestion is normal in newborns?) before she came, and with her help, a trip to the grocery store and to the children's store to get an Ergo and a nursing bra. Nursing bra experience took FOREVER, due to a super nice but not particularly competent first fitter (second person, the LC who owns the store, was much faster and more helpful), plus a baby that started howling with hunger halfway through the experience. Luckily, I was able to just feed Baby Bird (as I have dubbed him, based on his constant making of what I call "baby bird mouth", aka, Feed Me Mom! face) in the lactation consult room. Okay, wait, just realized that wasn't two days ago, that was yesterday... yeah, I'm pretty blitzed. I've really kind of stopped trying to keep track of how much sleep I'm getting/not getting and when.
Rewinding back... a really short birth story. I really need to try to type up something coherent and longer at some point, but I just haven't had that kind of time with my hands free. So, after I posted that Saturday about the midwife coming to check me, she did. She got there right after Pirate had served me a breakfast of steak, eggs, and pancakes. I was impressed by his ambitiousness. I'm not sure if I ever had the restless energy of early labor, but he sure did! So she chatted with me while I finished my breakfast, then did a cervical check. 4 cm dilated and 95% effaced. (This was about 10 AM.) I was so, so happy to hear that my being up most of the night with contractions wasn't for nothing. I would have cried if that had gone on for days, like it does for some people. Honestly, I think she was a little surprised - she hadn't seemed too convinced I was in labor when I spoke to her on the phone. And I understand - contractions were probably about 5 minutes apart or less, but only about 30 seconds long when I called around 8 AM. I was still semi-able to talk through them, and was totally normal between them. Anyway, she recommended that we "mosey" to the birth center at that point - maybe go for a walk around the apartment complex or the mall first, or even get in the swimming pool. She also confirmed what had seemed to me to be the case - the baby had flipped from being LOA (considered the most favorable vertex presentation) to being ROA (still vertex, and possible to deliver that way, but more risk of the baby going posterior). Still not exactly sure when he did that, but I had definitely been feeling much more baby on the right than I was used to. Anyway, because I was having back labor, and because of the concerns about him flipping posterior, she recommended that I bend over pretty far with each contraction to keep the baby anterior and to make it easier for Pirate to do some counterpressure. Because of that, I nixed going walking. I didn't feel like being in public and bending over every few minutes, and I needed the counterpressure (though not as much as I would need it later!). I did walk around the apartment some, take a shower, and finish packing things. We hit the road an hour or so later, and stopped at Panera Bread for some lunch to take to the birth center. We got there a little before 1 PM. When they checked me, I was 6 cm dilated and close to completely effaced. I had been worried that contractions in the car would be unmanageable, but they weren't that bad. They were about 3 minutes apart by the time we made it to the birth center, but still pretty short. Or maybe (more likely) I wasn't really aware they were starting until several seconds after they did. Anyway, things were seeming like they were tough, and I wanted Pirate doing counterpressure with every contraction, but I was managing. I was breathing through them and coping. After awhile, they filled up the birth tub and I eventually got in. It was nice more because I could move my fat, swollen legs more easily in the water than on land, so switching positions was easier. But any time I switched positions, especially if I was on my hands and knees, contractions got really hard to handle, which made me not want to do it. Things were getting more intense, but I was still not seeing how this would ever lead to a baby coming out of me. It just felt like really horrible intestinal cramps, like the food poisoning of a lifetime. At some point in the tub, I cried about how I couldn't do this any more - it hurt too much, and it wasn't getting over. At some point, they got me out of the tub to do a cervical check, and because I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. The contractions I had laying on the bed while they did the check were murderous. They told me I was only 8 cm dilated, and I wanted to cry. I would guess this was around 4, maybe 5 PM. Really, I have no idea. That was the only cervical check in the whole pregnancy I was disappointed by. (Although through all of pregnancy, labor, and delivery, I only had 6 checks!) They tried to have me lay on my side so I could rest a little more between contractions, but contractions laying down were so agonizingly painful I couldn't do it. Two contractions later, I was on the toilet. Although I'm fairly certain now (and probably should have known then) that I was feeling a baby, not a bowel movement, at the time I was convinced I needed to go. I had gone to the bathroom a few times earlier in labor, and contractions on the toilet were not fun. I'd gone by myself before, but there was no way I was facing contractions alone at that point. So Pirate came with me. The contractions were absolutely brutal. At this point, I was screaming through them, and grabbing Pirate's sides for all I was worth. I contemplated biting him once or twice. Don't ask me why. It seemed like it might help with the pain, but I restrained myself. They were (or at least seemed to be) incredibly close together. I would only be starting to pull myself together from the previous contraction when I new one would hit. I tried not to scream, I tried to moan, but I mostly didn't succeed until the peak of each contraction passed. I wanted nothing more than for it all to stop. If there had been any way out of it other than through it, I would have taken it. If someone had told me that I could stop this whole thing, but that I would never, ever have another chance to birth or adopt a child, I would have accepted the deal in a hot second. Everyone kept telling me I was doing a good job, that I was brave, that I was doing it, but I was like... I am doing this only because there is nothing else to do! I can't make this stop, there is no escape hatch. Time felt both enormously stretched out, and in a way, curiously short. I would say I was in the bathroom for the most agonizing 20 minutes of my life, but I'm betting it was actually more than an hour. At some point, one of the midwives said I was sounding kind of pushy - and part way through the time in the bathroom, the pressure definitely had gotten really intense. I probably was pushing a little bit at that point. So she checked me, and said I just had a lip of cervix left, and she was going to try to push it aside so we could get down to business. I really don't remember a whole lot of what happened after that. At some point, I got back in the tub. Once I was officially pushing, things hurt slightly less. Not a lot less, but there was a different quality to it all, somehow. I was still doing a fair amount of screaming, though I was getting in more low moans. When the midwife (and I'm just keeping it simple here - there were actually 3 midwives plus a student midwife around at various points, and during pushing, all 4 were there) told me she thought I had about another hour before the baby would be out (and she sounded cheerful about this, like it was "not long"), I about lost it. I became very, very determined to get that baby out at all costs, because I couldn't take it any more. I actually felt more motivated when I started to feel the "ring of fire" sensation, because it meant he had to be close. I was actually frustrated by the number of contractions I went through with that sensation without being able to push him out. (First time moms - if you want to know what pushing a baby out feels like, at least for your birth canal, imagine the worst constipation you've ever had and quadruple it. Imagine pooping a coconut, or trying to!) Apparently, I pushed him out in about 40 minutes. It seemed shorter to me, but my time-keeping consisted entirely of contractions, not minutes. He ended up having a nuchal hand (left hand just under his face by his neck), and I ended up tearing in two places - one first degree tear near the top, and a second degree tear near the middle/bottom. I think I probably wouldn't have torn so badly if I hadn't been so fiercely determined to get it over with, but who knows?
Okay, that was NOT short... but believe it or not, I could still add a lot more detail! Anyway, Baby Bird is fussing, so I need to go again!
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wow, Monkey, and ouch. That sounds intense. the pain that you describe is exactly what I felt when I had DS. Congrats!!!
Monkey - Glad you finally had enough time to share everything!! As for the bouncy seat sleeping...I always say at some point I have to sleep!!! It sounds like you are still in the newborn haze faze, where everyday runs together and you can't really remember you name! Don't worry it will pass and is very normal. It sounds like your baby bird is doing good and sleeping more despite the tears landing on his head! Sleep deprivation and the changing hormones...Wow they really do...make you wonder what is going on.
Sadly, they do grow-up fast and in a year you won't believe he's already a year old. It's just when you are in the middle of those first weeks it feels like it will last forever.
Newborn congestion...I have no idea, but it never hurts to ask the pediatrician. Mine always says he would rather us come in and it not be a problem than stay home with a problem.
If you lived closer, I would loan you one of my exercise balls! --And lol, I know everyone wants to give advice to the new mom. The only reason I mentioned the stitches is because I had been reading about tears. I've been trying to make up my about VBAC and RCS and that's one of the things I'm worried about with VBAC. Anyway, I had read article about how some lay midwives do not know how to sew up 3rd & 4th degree tears properly.
(I'm glad you didn't bite pirate, he would have fun telling everyone about it! Especially, your baby bird when he grows up. I'm impressed at your self-control!)
AFM - 34 weeks...35 weeks on Saturday! Any kind of physical activity tends to set off braxton hicks contractions. Thus I have limited my physical activity a lot and have increased my water in take. I don't want to go over 40 weeks, but I really want an early baby in the NICU even less.
I'm about 8 pounds over what I should gained by now. However, if I calculate it based on my normal weight (not the weight I was due to TTC) or how much I weighed when I got prego with DS I'm right on track. However, my doctor doesn't seem to care and to be honest I don't really care anymore either!! I'm going to have a baby! ---And I think a lot of it is because I can't work-out anymore...the contractions and lower abdominal pain just make it impossible.
Wow, monkey. I felt like I was there! Thank you for sharing that.
wissa and gozal, wooooooop you guys are so close!
Holy cow, Monkey!
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Monkey, thanks so much for sharing! I love reading birth stories, although ouch with the nuchal hand! You are one tough mama. :)
Gozal and Wissa, any updates? You guys are indeed getting close! So crazy.
Gemmine and kparker, you guys aren't far behind! Hard to believe that all of these babies are coming so soon.
AFM, we are still in a bit of a limbo with life as a whole. Every day that passes by seems to be harder and harder as we wait to hear back on approval for our visa sponsorship. We are soooo ready to make plans, especially since I don't technically know who will be helping with our birth (augh). I am trying to let go and relax and enjoy the time of not being able to do anything, but it is really hard some days. Today has been easier, and I'm hoping the week goes by quickly -- and that at its end, we have an official approval in hand!
The Wee Baby Jones seems to be doing well, and I don't have any swelling or anything like that yet. He's moving a ton--this kid is a party animal! I'm really hoping that drinking lots of water and eating well will keep me comfortable until our transatlantic flight, which will hopefully be around 28ish weeks. It is so hard to believe that today is 25 weeks for me! There is still so much to do in the realm of "baby stuff", and time to do it in seems to be ticking away so quickly (funny how that works).
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Monkey, thank you for sharing your birth story! Wow. What a great job you did. Don't feel like you have to feel any certain way about the newborn period. It really has to be experienced before you can process it, I think. And it's definitely not indicative of how motherhood will end up being on a day-to-day basis, at least not for me. 'Cause it is super intense physically, mostly, I think. I love your chosen moniker - "gozal" means baby bird, that is what my mom called me when I was little. Oh okay, she still calls me that. And I still love it. :)
Wissa, hiya due date buddy! Yeah, me too on the physical activity limits and water intake. I can't believe how much more taxing this pg feels. I cannot sit comfortably almost anywhere. Walking is okay and lying down with tons of pillows is okay. (Of course I can't walk much because, well, I am huge and it is still hot out.) Judging from your super cute belly shot from way back I have no doubt you are fine on weight gain. I guess I am okay, I can't tell because many people tell me I look good for twins but I just feel so huge. My belly sticks way out. I see other women due in Oct. and their bellies seem tiny to me!
Gemmine, hey undercover preggo lady! Glad to hear all is well with you.
Chica, I can imagine that it's super hard not to know when you'll be going so you can sort out the birth stuff and all the other aspects of settling in. Good for you keeping it together! Do you have to get a connecting flight once you're in the UK, or are you flying straight from the East Coast to Heathrow? If so, then it really is not a long flight and I think you'll be fine. Of course I am used to long flights so I may be biased. But I really think you'll be okay.
AFM, sorry to be MIA. I don't even know where the last month has gone. I think mostly it's that my energy is so limited. I can only do one small thing most days and I'm tapped out. Plus it's hard for me to sit at the computer. So what have I been doing? We had some birthday celebrations for DS and now, unbelievably, somehow, he is at flippin' kindergarten! I miss him so much. His adjustment seems to be going very well, better than I expected actually, but it still just seems like so much to me. He misses being at home too. We also have been doing last-minute-ish things around the house - mostly streamining and creating more storage space. This has involved some Ikea trips, furniture assembly, organization, etc. The in-law drama continues with MIL moving here and needing help and hosting when I am hugely pg and explicitly asked not to be involved. Ugh.
Otherwise, I am trying not to worry about Baby A being breech still at 35w. My OBs are very negative about him turning, but I believe he will closer to birth. I am probably not there yet, starting to efface but holding at 1cm. I need to call a chiropractor about trying to flip him, and then I may get a second opinion about the birth. My practice will do section only for twin A breech. I get upset thinking about having a c-section, especially about not being able to hold my babies and have them on me immediately after they come out. I just can't imagine that. If it's warranted, it's warranted. But I need to feel at peace with that and I really don't at this point.
Chica - Sorry you're living the world of limbo. I'm sure it's hard to stay calm not knowing exactly when things are going to happen. Babies do tend to bring a lot of stuff into your life. However, they actually need very little when they first get here!!! Hang in there. Sounds like little baby Jones is a mover and shaker!!
Gozal - I can't believe your DS is in K!! My little buddy won't be 5 until December, so no K for him until next year. He goes to preschool some, but I'm dreading having to send him off everyday. Of course, mine is social butterfly and I think it will be harder on me than it will be for him. K may be a good thing for you once the babies get here!! It will also give your DS his own world without the babies...something that he can only do because he is a big boy.
We have been organizing a lot too!! It's amazing how much stuff we have!! In my infertility depression I closed the door the bedroom that we wanted to use as nursery and pretty much pretended it didn't exist. Thus it became a "junk room" and was well a disaster. Sorry about the continuing in-law drama!!
I can understand your fears, concerns, apprehension about needing a c-section. I had a c-section for DS because he was breech, so if you have any questions about any of it please ask!! No detail is too gross or minor. I'll tell you what I know/remember.
I think the further along you are the less likely the baby is to turn. I imagine the doctors think that with two in there your chances are slimmer because there is even less room. I got adjusted all the time with DS and he was a frank breech, so I stayed away from the Chiro this time.... ;)
As for not getting hold the babies right away, that will probably depend on the hospital's policy and the condition of the twins when they are born. Talk to your doctor about how you feel, he may be able to make it happen for you. I would also contact the lactation consultant at the hospital. She might be able to come and help either in the OR or recovery. There is a thread over in Cesarean about getting to breastfeed on the table in the OR.
I hope you keep holding steady at 1cm!! No early babies!! And I'll bet you look great!! I don't think you can compare your belly to mine or anyone else that just has one baby on board!! Some times I feel huge and sometimes I don't because I'm not as big as I was with DS. I definitely have the waddle this time. I never did with DS...I guess because he was breech and always high?
And it is still hot here as well. I'm kind of hoping it doesn't cool off yet because I'm not buying any fall maternity clothes!!!
AFM - Whew only 4 more weeks. I'll be 36 weeks next week and I have decided that if I go into labor before 40 weeks then I'll go for a TOL. However, if baby girl doesn't make an appearance early I want to schedule a RCS for the end of 39 weeks. I just can't imagine going pass 40 weeks (I'm sore and have sharp pains down there) and I'll admit I'm nervous about VBAC because there is a chance of rupture. Oh, and I think I'm slowly losing my mucus plug.
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Hesitantly popping in here...
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Just here lurking!!!
Monkey - just read your birth story!!! Wow!! You go girl!! So glad all ended well and I'm sure it will keep getting a little easier w/ each day, or so I hope!!! Thanks for sharing!!
Just wanted to drop by and say congrats, Sila!!!
I really want to do personals and say more, but I've been staying at my parents' house (w/ slowest computer on planet) since dh traveled all last week and will travel all of this week. Anyway, wanted to let y'all know that things are going better on most fronts. Can't believe how Baby Bird is growing and changing (over 10 lbs now!). Nurses pretty well, sometimes sleeps pretty well, is getting more alert and less frequently fussy. Still rooting for all of you, back with more personals someday!!
Oh, and feeling less traumatized by my delivery than I did at the time. Should really add an ending to my birth story about post-pushing.
Oh boy. So my feet outta nowhere started SWELLING like super bad, but midwives say they look okay, and all my vitals are fine, so just to drink a lot, and prop them up, etc. I have no ankle at all on my right foot :(
Six weeks until term, nine weeks until due, and I'm started to have a lot of anxiety. Nursery nowhere near livable, baby shower is next weekend and there is nowhere to put all the things I'm sure I'll be getting! AHHHHH
And in two weeks, I will be participating in a Buddy Walk for my bff's little son who has Down Syndrome. Only for her and him would I be waddling around for a mile holding signs at this size! :)
Hope everyone is doing well. I read over your posts but I don't have the emotional energy to reply to individuals. It's been a wonderfully crappy weekend. I'll spare you all the details ;P