Summer 2012 Love for the Preggo Bajingos: Having #1 in our 30s - Page 16

[CA Country Girl]

Sparrows- good luck on the GBS, but it really is not too big a deal if you have it.  I didn't with no 1, did with 2 and altogether #2 was a much smoother birth

Erica and Andaluza- waiting to hear about your births!

LIly- I agree with Scowgirl- nurse on demand.  It will help your milk supply and her ability.  They do sometimes just nurse for comfort and there is nothing wrong with that except they might spit up the excess.  

Lily and Scowgirl-Everybody has their own @$#%#^ opinion about how we take care of our kids and since they won't willing butt out, we have to just smile and ignore them.  My DD's both wanted to be held to sleep when they were tiny.  DD2 at almost 8 weeks is beginning to sleep longer stretches on her own during the day, but still sometimes she just wants to be held and I think that is her right as a little tiny baby adjusting to the outside world. I only let her cry if I need to put her down for a few minutes to get something out of the oven or go to the bathroom, or in the car seat.  I just keep trying to put her down on her own- sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and it keeps changing.  I think as she gets older, she will need to be held less.  Lately nursing her to sleep side lying on the bed and sneaking away is working pretty good at bedtime.  She is also a co-sleeping baby-wants to be curled up next to mom, but I am ok with that.  She is also sleeping longer stretches at night.  My pediatrician said that after they hit 12 pounds they are much more likely to come closer to sleeping through the night.  Typical for us is still about 3 hours, but we have got almost 5 a few times and that feels awesome!

Everyone else 

[Tear78]

Lilytiger, make an advice blockade around you and go with your gut, mama. People saying to put a newborn down and walk away ...well, I won't make judgmental comments but . Nurse on demand. You are teaching your baby that you wil respond to her needs without her having to scream and wail first. She will be less fussy in the future as a result. I found that people's advice made it hard to listen to my own feelings, so I started to ry to block it out. The besT piece of parenting advice I got (thank you Carlyle) was that I know my baby better than anybody except her papa, and what works for others might not work for my little one. Trust yourself and ignore the advice, because people seem to think a mother is an open target. That doesn't stop. /endrant

Whoever was worried about size, my sister delivered a 11lb2oz baby at home. It's possible!

[LilyTiger]

Thanks everyone for the support!  I think what freaked me out yesterday was that I had too many visitors and by the time my mom got here, both Piper and I were tired.  So when Piper wanted to cluster feed, my mom was all about putting her in the swing or the bouncy chair or in the bassinet or whatever.  Scowgirl's feeling of needing to rush across the room and grab her was totally mine too!  And after my mom left she nursed for a solid 20 minutes, so clearly she needed something. 

We had a pediatrician appointment this morning and DH and I asked about co-sleeping and crying it out.  Yet another reason I love my doctor.... Her response was, "the official position is not to sleep with babies.  But the reality is that babies hate being left alone and every breastfeeding mom I've met ends up co-sleeping, so just figure out how to do it safely".  And her argument on the crying it out is that all it does is teach babies that no one will respond to their needs.  I was super glad DH was there to hear it from the horse's mouth, because he's already worried about her being stuck in our bed until she's 5.  Our doc was very reassuring, but basically just confirmed all my intuitions.  So I'm feeling much better and we're laying around in bed hanging out, which is exactly what I want to be doing with the munchkin right now, so it's just about perfect. 

Yay for awesome online mama support and awesome in real life doctors!

[iixivboots]

For someone who has only just recently started to feel like I have enough milk to feed her (after multiple reassurances from the scale, pediatrician, lactation consultants etc.), this is agony. I can barely stop myself from lunging across the room and tearing her away from whoever is holding her when it's obvious to me that she wants to nurse, even if she's probably not really that hungry at the time. This is why I would rather sit at home and nurse whenever she wants to all day. I realize there could be some difficulties when I go back to work, but I have enough to make myself crazy with and I would rather cross that bridge when I come to it. Actually that's how I feel about it in general... we have enough to stress about with newborns, no need to go against the grain of how our brains and hearts are telling us to parent right now. I need to get better at being OK with making unpopular decisions anyway...
 

Scowgirl, that was totally me. For several days I was a freaking crazed woman whenever he made any little peep I was sticking my boob in his mouth. Like, almost not acknowledging he had any other needs because the anxiety about milk supply was so great. I don't know about going back to work difficulties being more for nursing on demand, i mean, what else is there? I find it hard to believe there are breastfeeding moms who stick to a strict schedule. Out of curiousity, what made you think you had low supply? I had no real evidence except the jaundice scare when my milk wasn't even in, and my own ideas about how much I should be able to pump, etc. I still need to do more research about supply and pumping.

Lily, don't forget about the Bajingo moms thread in the Life with a Babe section, that's also a great pool of wise support :) I was going to say it's okay and that there's lots of info about dealing with high-needs babies and then I stopped myself. WTF? Look what little Piper and her mama have been through just in her first week of life. OF COURSE she wants to be with you as much as possible, snuggle and eat when she wants. Why wouldn't she, after having been separated from you in the beginning? I think it's only completely natural. You guys will find your rhythm. After our short hospital stay, and having had people at my house before that, i told DH i was DONE with other people. We don't have any close family in town, so it was easier to say no, but I understand.

[andaluza]

Hi ladies! I can't thank you all enough for all the support I got from you in the hours before the induction. I didn't get a chance to write sooner, but it all really meant so much! I hope everyone is doing really well.

Popping in to say that everything went well with the induction, I'm feeling almost normal, and, most importantly, we now are crazy in love with our little baby boy M. Despite being 10 days overdue, he weighed in at 6 lbs and 7 oz but was a pretty long 20 &1/4 inches.

It not the birth I planned for, but under the circumstances, everything went really well and I am happy with the decisions we ended up making and the experience we had. Dh was amazing, especially for helping me through contractions. I think I'll write up the full story later, but here are a lot of the main details. It took me from about 9pm-8am on 25 microgram pills of cytotec to dilate to 5 cm (I had 2 total 4 hours apart and this med was the part I was most worried about). But it caused super intense contractions not along the lines of what I was led to expect for that level of dilation had it occurred naturally--at the end they lasted for about a minute each every 3 minutes and sometimes one immediately followed the other with no break. We brought a cut up pool noodle for massages and I ripped it apart with my nails during the contractions. Dh gave me counter pressure on my lower back, hips, and butt, which was the most help.

Because of this, I got an epidural. It seemed to slow things down a bit and they added pitocin. It was crazy to watch what that did to my contractions, which I didn't feel with the epidural until I approached 10 cm (it made the contractions about a minute apart, but according to the monitor never down to 0, so there would have been no relief at all). The funny thing about the epidural was that when I was pushing all the feeling came back in my legs, even though one had felt completely paralyzed until that point. I can't explain it. 

I pushed from 3-4:45, when he was born. I got a 2nd degree tear and still feel pretty swollen, but I am really happy that I ended up with a vaginal birth. He had some meconium on him when he emerged so I only had him on top of me for a minute or so when they had to clean him and check him (still in the same room). I was a little worried about the separation and also because he only cried very briefly right after birth, but we were able to spend well over an hour together before heading to the postpartum room and nursery stop. He nursed and his eyes came into focus during our skin to skin time, so we did get to bond in a really great and positive way. He's been nursing up a storm, it's really incredible. He has a major sucking obsession in general and is always eating his fingers or hands. We are really enjoying our time together and with baby M!

Edited by andaluza - 8/24/12 at 7:15pm

[2sweetsparrows]

 Welcome Baby M. 

               Congratulations Andaluza!!!

I am so very happy to hear you had a vaginal birth 

and that your baby is healthy!!!  Enjoy your precious

time as a new family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CA Country Girl]

Yeah Andaluza!  Congratulations on your baby boy.  Little guy kept you waiting.  Sounds like you did great Mama.

[scowgirl]

CONGRATULATIONS andaluza on your lovely baby boy! That is so great!!

[LilyTiger]

Andaluza, awesome news!!!!  It sounds like the birth went great under the circumstances.  I had a second degree tear too and it heals pretty quickly (though still annoying).  Hope you're all relaxing and enjoying every crazy minute!

[Calycanth]

Congratulations Andaluza, and welcome little one! 

[birdie.lee]

.

Edited by birdie.lee - 5/13/13 at 11:52am

[ericaf]

Yeyyyyyy, Andaluza!! So happy for you and your little man!!

AFM: Still hanging around waiting for little lady. The Braxton hicks contractions are kinda non stop now, all day... and when I get up at night to pee! I'm trying to keep myself somewhat busy and preoccupied so I don't get too impatient, buttttttt I'm closing in on my due date in 4 days... So that thought pattern might go out the window sooner than later. And of course the nonstop text messages, emails, and calls about "baby here yet?" don't help. How annoying are people? I know they're excited, but don't they get I'm just as excited and anxious to? I'm uncomfortable on top of it so of course I want her here ASAP. Ugh. Someone sent me this link, so I'm now telling people to go here when they ask me. Haha. http://www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

[Calycanth]

I posted that link as my Facebook status at the end of my pregnancy. Pure awesomeness. 

[Tear78]

Andaluza, woohooooo!!! Congrats and welcome little one!

[lilacvioletiris]

Andaluza congrats on baby M's appearance into this world!  Exciting news!

[scowgirl]

boots, that is a good point about it being hard to breastfeed "on a schedule" anyway, so probably everyone goes through the same challenges when they go back to work. I guess I was mainly thinking that she might have trouble with bottles (she's only had a few), but we'll see. As for being paranoid about my supply, it's mainly that she lost so much from her birth weight. She went from 8 lb to 7 lb 3 oz. At that point they get really intrusive (and I guess for good reason, it's just that it made me insane) about wanting you to pump after every single feeding in order to get your supply up, which is so stressful for me for some reason. I have never once actually done this because it takes at least half an hour by the time you get everything set up and then put away at the end, and I wouldn't be able to do anything else all day or night (plus DD is not usually cooperative to just let me do other stuff after a feeding). I take my hat off to those of you who manage this.

 

Then, all the questioning at the weigh-ins with the pediatrician seems really accusatory. I know they don't really mean it that way... it's just that I felt like no matter what I was doing, it wasn't good enough, so of course I would be punished by not having enough milk because I wasn't working hard enough. Then there's the fact that at times, she cluster feeds and I can't tell if it's normal or because she is still hungry after my breasts are empty. To be honest I still have a really tough time telling for sure that she is hungry vs. having some other kind of issue. But she's growing well, has enough diapers, and has wakeful periods where she seems content, so everyone says those are the criteria. I think this is sort of like being obsessed with my blood pressure during pregnancy, which then ended up actually affecting my blood pressure at times... except worse because now I get obsessed with the idea that I might be starving a helpless baby. It doesn't help that our friends' son who was born about a week before her weighs about 2 lb. more even adjusting for differences in birth weight. I feel like, what if she is supposed to be growing faster than the benchmark our doctor gave us, and I am inadvertently stunting her growth?

 

I can't pump very much either, though from what I understand, that's normal and doesn't necessarily mean your supply is low? I think it's affecting my letdown because I'm anxious whenever I pump. I feel like going back to work and trying to pump is not going to go well, but I guess I'll worry about that later. I will say it's getting somewhat better now that I sprang for a hands-free pumping bustier and Pumpin' Pal flanges... now I can get online, etc. while I pump so it takes my mind off it a bit. Between this and all the herbs and crap, I feel like formula would have been way cheaper than BF in our case... 

 

OK, I can see DD on the monitor working her way out of her swaddle (I thought she was asleep... guess not) so I gotta go! Sorry for lack of personals, I just haven't had a minute to get my act together for a proper post.

[ericaf]

Just got back from the Dr. A little more effaced and still 1 cm dilated. Apparently I lost my mucous plug at some point anddddd I didn't even know. Howwww did I miss THAT? Lol.

Oh. And I need to laugh cause of lady baby came a littleeeee earlier... I could've been in the same hospital as Snooki. How weird! Anyway, the one nurse attacked me in the hallway and did a quick massage of my pressure points and they all said "Now go home and have a big orgasm". lol!!

[Calycanth]

Originally Posted by scowgirl 

Then there's the fact that at times, she cluster feeds and I can't tell if it's normal or because she is still hungry after my breasts are empty. To be honest I still have a really tough time telling for sure that she is hungry vs. having some other kind of issue. 

Scowgirl, we're having the same issue. Cara was super fussy for a few days last week. I finally figured out that it might be because she wasn't getting enough to eat and offered her a bottle of pumped milk from my stash in the freezer. She gulped that bottle down, then part of another one. I was horrified (and still am) to think she might have been going hungry. I still don't know if that was the problem, but it seems like a good bet.

Feeding a baby is stressful.

[andaluza]

Erica, it sounds like your Ruby will not be as tardy making her appearance as my little baby M was. I hope these last few days before the due date go by quickly and bring you peace and no stress.

Thanks so much to everyone for the welcomes for baby M! He's doing really well! We had a pediatrician visit today and he had gained 4 oz from his lowest weight when we were discharged on Saturday, so it's a huge relief. The lactation consultants at the hospital had me kind of freaked out that my milk was not going to come in and he'd lose more; but it's in already--started last night and now I have the look of someone who got implants. I think I need to do some hand pumping and see how it goes.

Here's a picture of him in in dh's favorite onesie:

I look at him and fall more and more in love every second. It's crazy and amazing. 

Last night was the second at home and it went much better than the first. I made a huge effort to let dh get caught up on sleep the first night since he tolerates sleeplessness poorer than I do, so I think the first night I was up until morning, then he came and took over and I took a long nap. We ended up with me sleeping (ha) in the nursery, since the bed has a really low box spring and the co-sleeper is so adaptable. My biggest battle seems to be juggling feeding, burping, diaper change, and then getting him to tolerate being in the cosleeper in an order of events that is efficient. I often feel like a circus performer. But now that my milk is in he seems to be sleepier after feedings. The real test will be tonight. Last night dh slept from midnight to 3 and I couldn't get M to sleep, so he came in and was able to burp him and get him to accept the cosleeper. We got close to 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, which was amazing. I kind of think I could function like that, but sometimes I worry I could doze off while feeding him. My parents will be here after labor day, which I'm looking forward to, although now that I'm sleeping in the nursery I'm not sure how it's going to work out. Perhaps I'll be healed enough to contemplate getting in and out of our high bed then.

[TeamViddy]

What a great story! Congratulations!