rotating midwives?.. I want consistency... « Back to Group Discussions

[erika27]

So, I am feeling so vulnerable and uncertain about our midwifery care!

I love the ladies working at the birth center we've chosen, but I have had 3 homebirths and because of finances we are stuck with a birth center for our 4th baby. I'm 35 weeks.. feels too late to change midwives. I'm very grateful to have the birth center option, and the midwives there seem like they have their hearts in it.. But since dd, my second baby, I've considered even going unassisted. NEVER thought twice about doing a homebirth. I've cried every time I get to my prenatal and the homebirth option is still not in our reach.. To be away from home on top of so many changes and lacking a solid foundation with a midwife, I feel so uncertain about the birth experience. I want something to be consistent and reliable with this birth, especially with who I'll be birthing with! I've felt so vulnerable this pregnancy, so emotional, which I value very much. But I really just want one, reliable midwife I can build a trusting, comfortable relationship with. 

this pregnancy was very unexpected.. we just moved 2000 miles from home, have no friends or family here.. we had a friend die on halloween, another with a bad heart who's had a few close calls.. my brother's wife is pregnant with their second child, a sweet little girl who's due a month after us and she's been diagnosed with anencephaly. My sis in law is retaining amniotic fluid, is 4 inches bigger than normal, and they are considering inducing, which would lower her already low chances of survival significantly. So these are just a few of the big changes that we've been going through..

I would just really appreciate any experiences or perspectives on seeing 3 different people for pregnancy & birth. I don't depend on anyone else but myself to make or break this experience.. I know the power women have and I know we can have a deep appreciation and love for our experience, no matter what happens or where~ birth is amazing, and we are blessed to experience it. I just want some support I can rely on!

any insight? 

much love!

[lbkw]

Wishing you lots of peace and strength. I can only offer my own experience which is very different in most ways, but some of the same. During my first pregnancy, we moved not quite so far away from home and I trusted someone's recommendation for a hospital and obstetrical group. There were probably 9 doctors in the group and I was 24 weeks. I did not get to meet all of the doctors but the ones I did meet were not all enthusiastic about my idea of an unmedicated birth. Fast forward to my labor and delivery and a doctor I had never met before was on call. She was amazing. I pretty much had the non-intervention, natural birth I had envisioned. Thanks in part to not only the doctor, but my doula (who was provided by the hospital and not one I had met before either) and husband, also.

From my perspective, it seems like you are aware of what you are capable of and can have what you want in whichever situation.

[fruitfulmomma]

Frustrating isn't it? This is my first time using an ob, had the same midwife for 5 pregnancies, and while I like my ob the care is totally different and she is in a huge practice and come birth day I get whoever is on call.

[dogmom327]

I am so sorry mama! That whole situation would be unacceptable to me (I'm a vulnerable wreck during pregnancy too). I was just commenting to someone the other day that I am way too crazy to handle not knowing who will be at my birth, needing to leave my home for it, etc. That's me and I have to accept it to maintain a decent mental state while pregnant. That being said, I know you don't have a lot of options. I'd probably look at a UC and go to the birth center for the birth only if you feel in that moment that you want to.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your niece! That is truly awful.

[lbkw]

Originally Posted by lbkw 

From my perspective, it seems like you are aware of what you are capable of and can have what you want in whichever situation.

I just wanted to add that I re-read my post and I don't want anyone to misconstrue my tone. This was meant to be encouraging, nothing else.

[blumooned]

Last time I was pregnant, we moved to a new city when I was 34 weeks.  DS was born at 39 weeks.  During those 5 weeks, I met 2 of the 3 CNMs at the hospital where I delivered.  Of course, when I was in labor, the on-call midwife was the one I had never met.  It was fine.  She did her job, I did mine.  The people I was around the most were the nurses (CNM didn't come in until delivery) & you don't really meet them ahead of time.  I was so focused on myself & what I was doing, it really didn't matter to me who was there or not!

This time, there are 2 CNMs at the hospital where I'm going (new town again!).  I have all but 1 of my prenatal appts with 1 of them.  The midwife who I have only met once will be the most likely to attend my birth as the other will be on vacation starting when I am 39 weeks.  I'm not concerned.  I trust she will do what she does best & I will do what I need to do to deliver the baby.  It will all work out!

Best wishes to you & I hope you have a happy delivery!
 

[erika27]

Originally Posted by dogmom327 

That's me and I have to accept it to maintain a decent mental state while pregnant. That being said, I know you don't have a lot of options. I'd probably look at a UC and go to the birth center for the birth only if you feel in that moment that you want to.

And I'm so sorry to hear about your niece! That is truly awful

I can so relate with that! I looked at UC for a long time, still havent completely ruled it out. But with 2 of my 3 there were things that made me happy to have support with the birth; to have help when I needed it. 

thanks guys :)
I'm working to solidify what I've learned.. I see pregnancy & birth as an extensive growing process; personally & to prepare for parenthood. I am nervous about the 40+ min drive to the birth center.. Thats one thing I could never quite imagine having to do in the midst of labor.

Sorry its taken me so long to reply!..

I'm focusing on strengthening inner resources to focus entirely on myself & the baby during labor. I've always felt most comfortable at home with my births, in a very intimate space with just my husband and the midwife during the last hour or so. So this is outside my comfort zone. But I keep getting little encouragements from the Universe, Goddess, the angels, whatever you wanna call them- "coincidences".. ;) its good to feel supported in this venture. It will work out..