Weekly Chat Thread (thru 7/1) - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[springmum]

Boston - that sounds like a really great day :)

Thought I would get some opinions.

I have a wedding invite for mid Sept at a location 4.5 hours away. I'm not due until mid Oct, so i'll be about 36 weeks. It's a wedding I would really like to go to, but i just don't know if it's a good idea at that point.

With my thyroid I could have some early labour issues, but I'm on top of my meds and bloodwork to stay stable. I had a really irritable uterus with DS, but it never turned into any early labour things.

Obviously the drive would be crazy - lot's of breaks needed etc. We would only stay 2 nights max, I would stay 1 but I think doing 2 drives in that short amount of time would be harder.

 Not sure where the closest hospital is yet.

Writing it all down makes it easy to say it sounds crazy, but has anyone done anything like that at 35 + weeks? Would any of you do it? 

i'm going to let the bride know that I won't be able to make a definite decision until later in the summer, so I can see how I'm feeling and how the pregnancy is still going.

[pregnova]

Zub- So sorry to hear about your kitty. 

As to our rental situation. Siiiiiiigh!!!! It's so frustrating. We ordinarily avoid property management because with dh self-employed working online and our previous rental history being a month here and a month there due to all the traveling, it's hard to find companies that will take us in. But, we decided to bite the bullet here and try to contact a few. We had to promise 3 months rent ahead of time, plus deposits and even then we found out recently that we're 10th!!!!!! on the list to even go WALK through any of these rentals. Apparently it's incredibly high demand here right now and everything rents August to August, so we're really in a bit of a bind. We did manage to find another place that will take us through August 1st, so we'll hang there and hope that we find something before our time is up there. It's bizarre too because it's not really price that's limiting things. Everywhere else we've lived, we could always count on upping the amount of rent we were willing to pay and that would open up a lot more options. But, we're already up to RIDICULOUS prices for unfurnished units (seriously, it's worse than Hawaii AND Berkeley,CA!!!), offering months of rent beforehand, and STILL finding ourselves not competitive enough to have signed on a place!!! I'm stressed beyond stressed about it, but I know there's not much we can do besides wait this out and hope that something comes available.

In other news, how are everyone's belly buttons? lol Mine was totally flat for ds, never EVER came close to popping out. But, I'm about a week or two away from a popped belly button this time! Super weird although I just figured out why. There's an ARM laying against it!! lol I can count on it being there every night, and it's adorable to stroke a little body part of this baby although I'd prefer a non-popped belly button!

[pregnova]

Springmum- I just saw your post. I'd have to say, as fun as that sounds, I wouldn't even think about it if it were me. lol, but I'm a freak about having my quiet, still time in the weeks before a birth! Mostly, it doesn't sound that bad, but I'd worry about getting sick from all that interaction, the stress of traveling, and spending the night somewhere so close to when you might go into labor. But, lol, once again, I'm a worry wort about getting sick while preggo!

[bostonmummy]

Hey springmum - I'm kind of with Pregnova on this one, too. So much could happen that I guess I'd feel more comfortable sticking close to home where my birth team is ready for me. I think I'd be afraid I'd get stuck at a hospital where I wouldn't be able to maintain my standards for birth. Plus, for me, I'm thinking I'm going to want to get pretty quiet in the month or so ahead of birth. I'm sure not everyone feels that way, but my instinct is to want to nest, stay close to my husband, and keep my energy really inward to prepare for labor and prepare for our new babe. But if that's not your personality and closer to the time you're feeling good, I'd say do whatever you really want!

Pregnova - so sorry about this rental situation. Where are you that it's so pricey - do you mind my asking that? I REALLY hope you find something SOON! Nothing like feeling booted about to make you feel insecure. But there's got to be an answer for this . . . eventually. Hope it comes way sooner than later.

Oh, and I'm laughing at your comment about the belly button. Mine, which has always been a definite innie, is very close to popping, too! Yesterday it felt like the baby was tickling my side from the inside. It was the funniest feeling! Made me laugh out loud. :) Love these little things . . .

[springmum]

thanks ladies - I think you're right - it sounds like a good idea until I realize how close it is to the birth...I didn't even think of the germ factor for all of us, DS definitely has no sense of good hygiene yet.....boo, I'm sad about missing this one - ah well.

Bellybuttons - mine popped over a month ago - ha ha! Granted I have an umblicial hernia that made it look it popped sooner, but it was the first thing to give out on me :) It didn't pop until a little farther along with DS, but I guess it's got a lot of room. DS and his friend  were fascinated by it when we went swimming the other day - they would come over and poke it an giggle.

Pregnova - that sounds really stressful! Who knew it would be such a hassle huh? 

boston - I'm loving the tickling too. The kicks are more rolls and waves and pushes now and they make for some funny sensations :)

[Angelorum]

Springmum, I'm considering going to my high school reunion 3.5 hours away at 37ish weeks.  My parents still live over there, so I'd stay with them.  Ds didn't come until his due date, and I labored about 18 hours start to finish.  I haven't made up my mind yet, and won't until it gets closer, but it's on the table.  My midwife didn't seem to think it was a terrible idea.  Even if I do go into labor that early, I doubt I'll labor so fast that we won't be able to make it home.  I really don't want to have to do labor in the car though!

I never thought about possibly catching something on the trip, but I don't seem to get sick that often, and I'm not a germophobe, so I guess I just don't see it as being any more likely than catching something at home. 

Disclaimer: This is coming from someone who flew overseas at 29 and 32 weeks pregnant last time, so your risk aversion may be different than mine!
 

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

I'm trying to get caught up here but it may take me a few days!

We're planning a last weekend get-a-way to the beach around 35-36 weeks as long as everything is going well just to sort of celebrate one last family thing with just the three of us before the baby comes.  I think where we are planning to go is 3-4 hours away and I'm not that worried about it...honestly I really just want some time near the ocean just before the baby comes too.  I think it will help get my head in the right place for the labor ahead.  Thinking back to my pregnancy with DS I think we made a 7 or 8 hour trip (each way) drive to my IL's at about that point.  Springmum- I'd say that if you really want to go to the wedding, maybe just check with your care provider first and see what they think but it sounds sort of doable to me as long as you can plan to stop a good bit on the way there and back (I learned that from personal experience with that trip to my IL's just how uncomfortable riding in the car for long periods can be at that point).

Pregnova-that sounds really hard with the finding a rental!  It sounds even more difficult and frustrating when you just want to get settled and start building your nest.

AFM, We were without power for a couple of days which was miserable, and I'm so grateful that it's back on and it seems that I am hitting serious nesting mode which is a good thing.  I got my thyroid tests back from my endocrinologist yesterday and for the most part my numbers were really really good.  I feel much more positive about the whole thing at this point and I'm feeling really well especially after making some dietary changes.  This week my mom ordered the moses basket and a rocking stand that I've been wanting which was very nice of her.  I also just bought the cutest stash of used custom made pre-fold diapers from a friend.  I'm really excited about them!  They are just darling with cute little prints that go in the middle of the outside! I know they'll be covered up with covers and clothes but they will make me smile each time I go to use one.

[Chrisa]

Zub, sorry about your kitty!

Pregnova, I've had a half-popped out navel for 3 weeks now - literally, only the top half. Looks funny.

Springmum, it depends on your comfort level and how adamant you are about birthing elsewhere (also insurance issue to consider, some only provide regional network coverage). 4.5 hours doesn't seem that far, but with an IU, it may be a difficult trip. Has the IU been the same, better or worse than the previous pregnancy? If the bride is a close friend who wants you there badly, you can explain the situation and ask her if you can RSVP the week before the wedding - by then you'd have a better idea of how you'd handle it.

[zubeldia]

Hi all, thanks for the good wishes and condolences. My newly turned 3 year old exclaimed that the cat had gone and she was with 'papa in the stars'. It was very touching. My dad died suddenly at Thanksgiving last year and that's how my son conceptualizes the loss. It's really lovely when he says things like that.

Undertheoak, so glad your numbers are looking good! And such great news you have your power back on... It sounds so miserable to be so hot without power.We also have a nice moses basket and rocker. We bought it for DS but, alas, he never slept in it!!! We're hoping this time is different... at least for naps :)

Springmum, I'd be inclined to wait and see. If you have any signs of labor at all whilst you're away you can always come straight home. Mind you, from memory, I don't know that I felt that happy to be in a car for so long at that point in pregnancy last time!

So funny about the belly button comments from your son and his friend! Mine is ready to pop and by the end of the day half of it is out. It's very weird.
 

Boston, the tickles are so sweet!

It was DS' birthday yesterday and the day before we took him to ride Thomas Train. He LOVED it... he's so passionate about trains! But it was so hot and I'm exhausted! How is everyone doing with symptoms as we enter our final trimester? I suddenly feel VERY pregnant. I'm still running and feeling good then, but getting up, picking things up.. oh boy. I just feel so cumbersome. And eating - well, I feel so full so quickly. I didn't think this happened until later on with my last pregnancy.

[Vegan Princess]

I'm home!!! We just got back. I had a very nice trip - it was very nice to visit with my inlaws. But it was at least 105 degrees and SO crazy hot! I mostly just sat around inside all day or floated in the pool. Otherwise I just could not deal with being outside. We went an walked around the zoo in the evening 1 day bc there was a concert and we wanted to get out. It was so sad - there were like 5 people in the audience. But the splash pad there was open across from the concert so the kids got naked and played and us adults dipped as much of ourselves as we could in the water. But it was still 105 that late at night! So it was just really hard to be there. 

I felt really big and sore while I was there. My pelvic area was so sore and baby felt so heavy when I would stand. I think I was swollen from the heat and from sitting all day. It was nice to be lazy, I guess. And also the heat slowed my digestion, I'm sure - so that made me more uncomfortable. But yeah, I'm feeling pretty pregnant these days and maybe a bit less comfortable than I was at this point with DD. Hopefully I'll feel better being back home in 70 degree weather and being able to be outside and more active. 

Zub: I'm so sorry about your kitty! I'm so attached to my 2 cats - they are my first born. Happy birthday to your son!!

Question: I've been made group leader. Which really just means I can boot people who are out of line (I think). We also need another co-leader - anyone wanna volunteer? Anyway, it also means I can change the photo that represents our "group". I've always hated the pic. But I need to find one on my own. So does anyone have any thoughts??? Should we do something very babyish or something having to do with fall or halloween? I'm fine with just picking one but thought I'd ask you guys' input. :-)

I'll start a new thread tomorrow. :-)

Cindy

[sillymom44]

Hello everyone!

We were planning a "Stay-cation" this weekend becuase there are so many fun things to do where we live and since we've only lived here 8 months, we are still exploring!!  Anyway, on Friday night I woke up at 4 and couldn't go back to sleep-- it was a horrible night and I was so upset Saturday b/c we had so many plans and I felt so awful.  I serisouly broke down and sobbed about 4 times.  I realized that I have to start changing my expectations and perceptions.  My children are so "old" (6 and 9) and I have gotten used to a certain way of life.  I am realizing that I have to be more flexible now and definitly after the baby is born.  We should have cancelled our weekend and reschedulled it.  Instead, I forced myself to attempt to do everything and was miserable (which made my cry).  Poor DH is so patient and kind and I can be so mean sometimes. 

Vegan-- I completely understand-- it has been SOOO hot here (100s)-- and today the heat index was 105.  I LOVE hot weather, but this has been more than I can handle.  I have struggled with intense frustration over it-- AND-- what makes it worse is that last summer both of our vehicles's air conditioning stopped working!! It was near the end of the summer so we just decided to wait to get them fixed....  What are the odds that both would quit???  Our vehicles are not that old and are in great shape (they are both 2006)--  my husband's truck isn't even paid off until September.  Luckily, my car is paid off....  Anyway, I just got an estimate at a dealership and it was $1600!!!!!  We think we can get it done for 1/2 that much at a mechanic's shop-- but that is still a lot...  It is so hot here....so I feel like it really needs to be done.  I just hate to pay that much  :(  My DH refuses to get his fixed-- but he does leave early in the morning and drive home in the evening so he's not driving in the intense heat of the day.  What are the responsibilities of co-leaders??  I am always looking for ways to volunteer my time....but don't want to get in over my head.  :)  Thank you for volunteering your time!!

Springmum-- I would just wait to see how you feel.  The one thing I would "worry" about was sleep....  If the hotel bed wasn't comfortable or if it was too loud....it could mean a bad night's sleep.  I have found lately that if I am not sleeping well my DH has to sleep in the spare BR so I can toss and turn all night.  Anyway- it could be a really fun event.  I loved my last month of pregnancy-- I love the huge belly and I always feel so beautiful.  But, who knows how I'll feel this time around.

Pregnova-  so sorry about your rental situation!!  But-- Thank Goodness you didn't show up in September!!  I wonder why August to Aug is so common??  I hope a wonderful place is waiting for you!!!!

[Vegan Princess]

Sillymom: I didn't want to take on too much either. My understanding is we don't have to do very much - just keep tabs in here and make sure everything is running smoothly. I'm guessing we can take down threads that are bad or boot members that shouldn't be here (not likely to happen). I think Cynthia Mosher is going to send me a list of what I can/can't do, but she hasn't done it yet. There is a thread about this on here if you want to go check it out and ask her any questions.

Pregnova: That sounds so stressful!!! I hope hope hope you find something soon!!

I just wanted to add. I am now done with all planned trips. I did NOT enjoy flying and I slept like absolute crap. Awake for a lot of the night on 2 nights. Anyway, I am definitely not going to San Diego to see my sister in August - I just do not want to fly again. And I am so thrilled to hunker down and nest away until baby comes!

Cindy

[Vegan Princess]

Me again!

Here are some cute pictures I found for our group symbol. Like any of them? Have any other ideas??

Sunflowers:

October moon:

Pumpkin cake:

Baby in Leaves (no idea who's baby and not sure if it's ok to use? found on google)

Baby pumpkins:

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

Cindy-I like the October moon one.  Thanks for being our leader and changing the picture for us.  I've never like the one up there either!  I'm glad you are back from your trip safe and sound. I hear you on being more uncomfortable.  We went into a local town for dinner with friends this evening and had to walk several blocks from the car to the restaurant. I was okay walking but my belly just felt so heavy suddenly and forget about dealing with the heat...it's awful...I had to be out in it a bit today and...ugh....at least the heat wave seems to be over here now.

Zub-Somehow I missed your post about your cat.  I'm so sorry.  Pets are such members of our families and it can be a very difficult loss.

Sillymom- How frustrating about your car AC's.  VA summer's are miserable.  I can't imagine it without ac in the car.  I'd literally never leave the house!  Sorry you had such a hard time over the weekend.  We're learning to keep most plans sort of fluid around here these days since so much depends on how I'm feeling.

AFM- this week I meet with the head of my midwife practice to determine if my endocrine disorders are going to risk us out of a homebirth or not.  I haven't seen her for a few months but the last appointment with her had me in tears for weeks ( you would think that a midwife would have more tact and sensetivity in dealing with pregnant women) and I have a lot of anxiety going into this appointment even though I feel really healthy and my test results have been pretty good.  I wish I felt like I had other HB options in my area, but this is the only practice our insurance covers.  She's the only midwife there I haven't really really liked...unfortunately she's also the one who makes the decisions on these issues and I feel like she's already against me.  At least DH will be with me this time.  I flat out refuse to see her if he's not with me.  Also, at least I should have a better idea how things are going to go one way or another after this.  I haven't even officially hired a doula yet since I would want someone different for a hospital birth than I would for a homebirth.  I just am dreading having to find a doctor at this point.  From talking to lots of folks there are just not very many natural child birth friendly doctors in this area so I'm struggling with this.  I wish DH would agree to a UC if this doesn't work out but he doesn't feel comfortable in his own ability to handle that and I feel like I have to respect that.  DS's birth was a very high intervention hospital birth and pretty much the exact opposite of what we had hoped and planned for.  I had a lot of lingering trauma from it coming into this pregnancy and initially I really felt like this birth was going to be my chance to have a healing birth experience.  I've done a lot of work during this pregnancy to move past that experience and I'm coming to terms with the possibility that I might end up in a hospital instead BUT I'll still be very disappointed.  I've tried so hard to be healthy and give myself a real fighting shot at having the birth experience I want this time around.

[pregnova]

undertheoaktree- How awful that the midwife to make the decision is one you so don't like! I hope she was just having a bad day last time you met with her!! I wish I could offer more support, but I understand about the respecting dh's comfort level and not going UC without his blessing! We had a miscarriage last October in a pregnancy that we were planning as UP/UC. DH was totally not onboard for another intended UC after that point, and I felt pushed into a corner by his freaking out. We took a bit of a break on thinking about a baby, and the compromise this go around was that I would try very hard to find a doula or back-up midwife who I could talk to comfortably about my concerns and fears so that it wasn't all put on dh. I think I'm also in a different place this go around than with the miscarriage, so I've been more comfortable with every bit of this pregnancy and dh doesn't hear much except my excitement. I will also say that he's not a planned part of the birth...I mean, if he's there for the pushing, then that's fine, but the birth responsibility is primarily mine everything from managing the experience to catching the baby and ensuring that it's healthy. I think it works for us, but I wouldn't want to do it if I knew that dh was in the living room pacing because he was so nervous!

Vegan- I love that moon picture! And yay for hunkering down for baby now! I can't believe I hit third trimester tomorrow! Ahhh, we're all getting so close now!

Well, we moved into our second sublease that takes us through Aug. 4th and it's alright, but definitely not the best. It is huge though...and there's a park right next door, so not much to complain about! We approached another long-term place and got turned down because we got our application in a few hours after someone else. Sigh. In fact, the other person got their app in the SAME time as we were walking through the apt! Super frustrating. At this point, I think we have to chill about looking for rentals for a bit before we bite off each other's heads from stress...lol mostly me being stressed, but still. We'd like to be in this specific city, but there is a much larger city a bus ride away, so our plan is to open up the search for rentals in that area if we get close to the end of this lease without anything set up for this particular area. I know we'll have SOMETHING set up before the due date is too close, so I know I should relax about this and just focus on getting as ready as I can for the birth and the Baby and just count on at least living in this area. 

[zubeldia]

Vegan, welcome home! Goodness, I would have melted in that heat but floating in the pool sounds very nice. Work is really calming down for me, too, and since I won't be teaching in the Fall I mostly have research to work on and some admin stuff. It feels good to have some time to prepare - especially since we have so much to do!

I also like the moon picture. I might be interested in being a co-leader, though I am not very tech savvy :)

Silly, ack, so sorry about the A/C. I think ours broke last year but I put in some a/c fluid and I think it also fixed a leak... mind you, I had to refill a couple of times and now it seems to be working. Fingers crossed that you get a second, much more reasonable quote.

Undertheoldoak, ugh, I wish you didn't have to deal with someone who doesn't feel supportive or even pleasant. I see a group of midwives and while all of them are nice, I definitely have my preference. Lots of hugs and hope that you get the birth you want and deserve.

Preg, I'm sorry if I missed this, but did you have unassisted births with your son? Good luck with the rental situation. It sounds really, really frustrating.

AM: Not much going on here. I'm pretty tired after a busy week. I feel a bit panicked that we haven't done anything to prepare for this baby other than wash some clothes someone gave us.  Is anyone having a shower? My friend who put on our shower for our son has offered to throw us one.. Honestly I don't want to say no but I'm wondering how other people will react to a second one?

[sillymom44]

Zub- if you're interested in the co-leader-- go for it.  I was not very excited about it bc I hate conflict and I had to confront someone it would really stress me out.  I will do it if no one else will b/c I love this board and want to help!  :)

Vegan- I like the flowers and baby- but would be fine with any!!

Under- I am so sorry for your stress.  Are you sure it wouldn't be better to find a natural doc or CNM that doesn't stress you out??  I would urge you to consider that.  This birth might not be healing if the midwife is so rude (unless you were hoping for a different one for delivery?).  I have had many friends with 100% natural hospital births with OBs b/c in my old town they were the only choice and they were actually experienced with natural deliveries.  I hope this doesn't stress you-- I just want to help!!!!

I am feeling like crap all of a sudden.  I was feeling amazing up until this point.  I have been having insomnia for no apparent reason and I have been nauseous the last week.  Maybe I am having some sort of 25 week hormonal surge??  I am trying to embrace the problems and realize they are for a good reason.  Easier said that done though...

[pregnova]

Zub- lol, if you got offered a shower, I'd go for it! I'm sure it'd be fun, and honestly, I wouldn't think it was weird to have one for a second child. I doubt we'll have one this go around, but if we were closer to friends and family, then I'd think it was pretty likely. 

As to my son, no...we're actually totally new to even birthing at home! We were hospital-planned with a super medicalized OBGYN because we thought if we labored at home long enough, nothing could possibly go 'too' wrong. At 32 weeks, I freaked after a visit to the hospital, looked for a homebirth midwife, none would take me with such late notice, and got the last spot in a birth center a half hour away. And then we had a long labor, baby was up high, my waters had broken, and my midwife strongly suggested I would need a C-section and the only way to get a good 'attempt' in at preventing it would be to go to the hospital while the 'good' doctor was on call and labor with pitocin. Which we did...and 8 hours later I had my baby naturally...but it was nothing like I had planned, and nothing like I know it CAN be, and I lost a LOT of trust in midwives, and doctors, hospitals, and the whole way of 'birthing' normally. lol, so our first UC is also our first homebirth! I'm so excited for it, and honestly, I feel SO ready. Come on 40 weeks!!

I'm also starting to feel my pregnancy. I'm pretty uncomfortable most of the time...I'd still say I'm WORLDS more comfortable than with ds, but yeah...3rd trimester is about to hit hard :-(

[UnderTheOldOakTree]

Originally Posted by sillymom44 

Under- I am so sorry for your stress.  Are you sure it wouldn't be better to find a natural doc or CNM that doesn't stress you out??  I would urge you to consider that.  This birth might not be healing if the midwife is so rude (unless you were hoping for a different one for delivery?).  I have had many friends with 100% natural hospital births with OBs b/c in my old town they were the only choice and they were actually experienced with natural deliveries.  I hope this doesn't stress you-- I just want to help!!!!

Your comment doesn't stress me out.  It's something we've been thinking about  and debating quite a bit but we're having a hard time finding an OB who is natural-birth friendly in this area....it's going to be a necessity if my midwives give me the boot anyway.    I also believe in giving second chances when a first meeting doesn't go well....especially when I'm pregnant and hormonal/very emotional....so I'm hoping tomorrow is better and one of us was just having an off day before.  It's part of the reason I need DH there....both for support and to give me a more rational opinion...and really the point where I met with her last time was when I was having the hardest time emotionally.    I have been hoping I'd get another midwife other than her for delivery but it's really just who's on call at the time so who knows...and I have to be prepared that it might be her if I stay with this practice and I need to have peace with that or make a decision to change care providers.   

 Tomorrow's my big appointment...any positive thoughts are appreciated!  It feels like it's going to be a day of decisions for DH and I as well and our midwife.

[Vegan Princess]

New thread is up here:

http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1357674/bi-weekly-chat-thread-thru-7-22

Good luck tomorrow UNdertheoak!!!

Re: showers. My friend offered to throw me one. It will be 8/18. I love the idea of getting together to celebrate baby and maybe have everyone make a flag or something fun to hang and look at during labor. But I did tell my friend to make sure to tell everyone no gifts. I said I would love for her to ask people to sign up to bring a meal after the birth though! I thought it was really kind of my friend to offer. I totally didn't expect to have one this time. 

Cindy