I found out what I was having with both previous pregnancies and am now trying to decide what to do this time around. I'm actually very stressed about this lately and need some opinions.
I have 2 girls and desperately want a boy this time. I have a stepson who is a wonderful little boy, but of course no matter what I think or do, he is not mine and displays many characteristics of his mother and her environment. This has really added to my longing for my own son. I actually wanted a boy so badly the 2nd go around that I cried the whole way home from the ultrasound. I did come around eventually, and by the time of the birth of my beautiful daughter I was fully prepared and delighted to meet her.
But this time I feel even more sensitive and stressed (I get emotional just thinking about it) and I've insisted to my husband that I do NOT want to find out this time. My reasoning: when I go through labor and hold my baby for the first time, my mama instincts are going to be so kicked in that any disappointment I might have will vanish pretty quickly. I love my children fiercely, and there's no possible way I'm going to dislike my child. Yes, I might be disappointed, and I might even cry a little, but it's not gonna last long at all. On the other hand, iIf I find out and am disappointed now, I'm going to be so distraught and depressed for the next few months, I don't know how I'm going to bear it! He, along with several of my friends, disagrees and thinks I should find out now and prepare myself for the fact months in advance.
I'm currently 18 weeks, so I'm nearing my 20 week ultrasound frighteningly fast. I nearly caved into the idea of finding out, but my best friend just birthed her first girl (after two boys) and for some reason this just threw me upside down again and I've been a sobbing mess again.
What do you think, should I find out now and start preparing myself, or wait for the surprise at the end?