I was told to consider spanking *bizarre update* - Page 2

[Rrrrrachel]

Tell him that the American academy of pediatrics says the best way for you to insure that your son doesn't get more an s'more aggressive is NOT TO SPANK HIM.

The irony of him telling you to spank you son to curb aggressive behavior is too, too much. This is not a debatable issue at this point. Very mainstream research tells us very clearly that spanking is not effective at changing behavior in the long term and makes children more aggressive.

[DevaMajka]

Just as an aside, you know what I have to do to keep my little menace to society from hitting in "trigger" situations? Say he and a friend both want the same toy. It's getting heated. I say to him "K is playing with that right now. He will tell you when he's done." Ds2 pretty much just says "ok" and waits or finds something else to play with.

Seriously. That's pretty much it. That's the child that DP and I obviously can't deal with on our own. 

The same child that these people have seen play with their kids every single day for the last year. And have never seen an issue with him, aside from this one (admittedly big) issue.

Edited by DevaMajka - 7/5/12 at 12:47pm

[Tapioca]

Hi Deva

Course cos I'm also from Burnaby I'm DYING to know which school this is...haha.

IMO the only thing you can do is not engage, as a PP suggested.   I know it's hard but if you start getting emotional about this and reacting he will be getting the power over you he wants.  IMO, this is a power play. Don't give him that power.  Another poster suggested report his email as spam - it might be time to do that so you don't have to deal with his emails at all.  What you don't know about won't bother you, and hopefully once he realises he's not getting a response he will give up and move on. 

I find his response to you really bizarre - it's a 3 year old ffs.  If it's any consolation DD was a biter at around the same age - it sucks!  Thankfully she is a well behaved 8 year old now..without spanking *roll eyes*  It's sad he doesn't recognise normal childhood behaviour for what it is - I also feel sorry for his kids.

[k x s]

Oh my! He is a touch on the passive aggressive side! If I was feeling particularly immature I would tell him to where to stick it by belittling him, smirking and pointing out spanking your child is considered assault if done to an adult.

[The4OfUs]

WOWWWWWWWW.

[transylvania_mom]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka 


So he emails back saying that ds2 assaulted the girl, and that if they were teens or adults, it would be a felony assault, ds would get jail time, and the girl would need trauma counselling.
 

And if your ds were an adult and Mr Busybody threatened him with physical assault, HE would be the one doing jail time.

But because your ds is a child one can beat ("spank") him as much as one likes.

[DevaMajka]

I don't think it's legal to spank another person's kid without their permission. Right?
(I know that's not what you're saying, it just made me think of it. Because of something that someone else said he said. lol)

[lauren]

My son once tackled someone else's kid and took him down, at age 4 (this was over the last prize in a scavenger hunt). Good thing they don't have preschool jails! (He is a well adjusted, non spanked 17 year old now!)

Don't engage! The fella has issues.
 

[MountainMamaGC]

I would reply with a "Buddy, if you were spanked it certainly didnt teach you social graces, and its one more reason I wont be spanking my child. Now please stop harassing me."

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by DevaMajka 

I don't think it's legal to spank another person's kid without their permission. Right?
(I know that's not what you're saying, it just made me think of it. Because of something that someone else said he said. lol)

Spanking is ILLEGAL in this province.

Not that you're going to engage with this UAV anymore, ;)  but somebody should really point that out to him. 

[DevaMajka]

I just re-read the email, and he says that ds2 hurting her could lead to her developing man-anxiety (he's using that term because I confided in him that *I* have man anxiety).

After he says that spanking produces well adjusted kids. More well adjusted than non-spanked kids.

Seriously, even if you are pro-spanking, how the heck do you reconcile those two thoughts? Being hurt by another kid = long term psychological damage. Being hurt by your parent = more well adjusted than you would otherwise be.

I should tell him that my dad spanked me, and thanks for giving me the idea that it might be THAT that caused my man anxiety. But I won't say that. What's that saying? Don't engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man?