This post is all over the place- be warned! I have a lot of things going on in my mind, and I'd like some feedback from you mamas that have been here and done it. I'm sorry this is so long-winded. I don't have a lot of people to bounce these things off of these days. I appreciate any one reading...
Firstly- after our ped gave DS (23 mos) an initial "PDD-NOS" dx a few weeks ago, I started us on this long process of getting OT and/or speech thereapy for DS. We live abroad and will be returning to our home country for a 6-wk long summer vacation soon, and when we return here, we'll be moving to a different city. So even though we are still on waiting lists, I've stopped pushing to start therapy in our current city. My doctor actually suggested we wait six months before even considering trying to get therapy for DS, as he wasn't 100% convinced anything was "wrong" with DS. He said DS is still young and it might be too early to tell anything at all. So that's where we are now.
DS is now on a gfcf diet- I can't tell if it's having any effect. But after talking to other people about DS and our concerns and watching him so closely lately I'm utterly confused- it's really unclear whether he has ASD or something else, or nothing at all. His echolalia has stayed the same, maybe gotten a tiny bit worse but at the same time his spontaneous language and vocabulary have gotten better and his use of scripted language is actually really great and it's clear he understands everything we say and other really complex things. His ASD-symptomatic behaviours (spinning, lining up objects, hitting his head) have been pretty infrequent. He is still interested in typical ASD interests- parts of objects , numbers, letters etc. and he still doesn't have any interest in interacting with other kids. But he's also been able to learn some things lately- answering yes/no questions (mostly questions that need a 'no' answer, yes questions are harder), he has been pointing a lot since I started prompting him to do that, and he is as always very, very affectionate with us. Now that I'm encouraging more pretend play he is getting the hang of it- that I always thought would develop later anyway. Could he just have a language/speech disorder? Or a sensory thing? Or be developing slowly socially? Or all of these? Or some other disorder I know nothing about? I read about ASD a lot now and most of the time I'm thinking that it just doesn't sound like DS. But then I go down the checklists and it seems to be...sort of.
DH and I just keep going back and forth- some days we're thinking, he is just a kid developing a little differently. He'll catch up socially and he'll grow out of his echolalia. Then we see him with other kids and DS seems so different. [We were at a park last weekend with sprinklers and fountains that kids could run around in and there were twin boys 2 mos older than DS zipping about on scooters through the sprinklers (DS can't figure out ride-on toys or bikes, much less a scooter!) and interacting and having fun while DS was inspecting the elements of each water feature and pushing things down the drains in a very serious way, and ignoring all the other kids.] But many of the family members and close friends we know who we've told what is going on with DS think we are crazy and that he is just a little odd. Both my husband and I are also really odd and anti-social in our own way, so they think he's just taking after us. Which brings me to DH...
He is now almost convinced that both he and his dad are on the spectrum (Asperger's I guess). And the more we look into it the more it makes so much sense. So on our days when we are sure DS has ASD, we think this is genetic. He is taking right after his dad and grandpa. And I've been reading some interesting research lately about this.
And now this leads me to the current thoughts circling around all of this- we were planning to start TTC next month. We've talked about it a lot, and think we'll still go for it. DS seems to us like he is "high-functioning" on the spectrum (if he is on it) and we're hoping this means having another baby won't be something terrible for him or unmanageable for us. But we're also concerned about having another baby who may also have ASD- and that he or she may have it "worse" than we think DS does. It's kind of scary. Part of me feels like we can handle whatever comes, and that our family and our kids are ours and we love them no matter what and it would be great, just like things are (mostly) great with DS- a sibling might be really wonderful for DS too. Part of me feels like we shouldn't push our luck adn that we don't know what's to come in the future with DS and it's not fair to him to bring another kid into our family when we don't know what DS will need.
Anyway, I apologize again for writing so much. If anyone has any comments or advice on any of my ramblings, I'd appreciate it again.