I have also struggled with thought patterns that would move me from eating a few french fries to wolfing down an entire large order of onion rings and a burger to match. I'm getting better about realizing that I can eat whatever I want, but I only need to eat a little. I'm working hard on eating intuitively.
I'm really debating sharing this, I may come back later and edit. But maybe my experience will help someone who struggles with binging and portion control.
As an infant, I experienced failure to thrive. I lost over a pound as a newborn, having been born under 7 pounds. For several months I was floppy, had splotchy skin, and was "too sleepy" to eat. I didn't gain weight, and was diagnosed as failing to thrive. My mother ceased to nurse me and instead force fed me bottle-fulls of a wheat soy blend. (I was not born in the developed world.)
As a child, Mom rationed food. I was given an amount of food, expected to eat it all and no more. If I didn't finish, that was a problem. If I finished and was still hungry, that was a problem.
I used to try to "move past" my childhood experiences and eat "normally". I would starve for days, and then eat too much, desperately. I would beat myself up about what I was eating constantly.
I don't think moving past my childhood is helpful. Lately, I've been doing well with intuitive eating. I'm actually losing the pregnancy weight without counting calories, as I've always done in the past. The extra weight is just kind of leaving... slowly, but surely. Same way it came on. I find myself realizing that I'm hungry. I eat something healthy, that will make me feel good. If I want a treat, I have it - just a bite. I've eaten a single square of chocolate after lunch almost every day for months now. Not the whole bar - just a square or two.
I really think just accepting that my body was never allow self-regulate, and realizing that if I want to learn to self-regulate I'm going to have 1. try it and 2. be prepared to screw up a lot has really helped me just relax and realize that if I'm hungry, food is the answer. All the rest is just drama.
I have 2 more months before I see my mother again. Usually, this results in some kind of odd food behavior. I am not expecting myself to "make it through" my visit without starving or overeating this time. My whole life my mother has either starved or stuffed me. It's OK. I'll figure it out. I'll eat normally when I'm out of her orbit again. Revolutionary.
ETA - I have a long history of hiding the food I haven't eaten as well as hiding the food I have eaten. I can still remember excruciating moments as a teen when my mother would discover rotted food in my room, hidden because I hadn't eaten it and hadn't been able to sneak away from her or my father to discard of it at another home (if I pitched it in our trash they'd have known I was skipping meals again).
So a big trick I've put into play is, I try to eat with people as much as possible. And I've started screening out people who judge me for either eating "too little" or "too much".
Hard to find people who mind their own dinner plate, but completely worth it.
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