So we had the anatomy US on monday, and it looks like a very healthy baby boy!!! Color us surprised - between dreams/visions we've had and the fact that everyone in my husband's family seems to pop out girls, we were feeling girl!
Now before it came up, I said I had been hoping for a girl but between seeing our friend's baby boy growing up before our eyes, and the fact that we'd avoid having a teenage girl :P a boy would be just as welcome. And I wouldn't fear being overrun with the pink. I even said that whichever it was I'd probably have a little disappointment that it wasn't the other. (My family has some issues with mother to daughter generations in adulthood, so that made me nervous for a girl...)
And I'm excited because my husband is really happy and surprised. But today it's hitting me really hard. I will never voice this publicly (you don't count lol) except to my husband before birth and not after, but yeah. I really saw myself with a baby girl, and really was looking forward to so much of that. I guess a lot of it is what we all go through, we know what to expect with our own gender from growing up ourselves so we can relate more to that than the opposite. But I also have the fears of not being able to relate to a son, of him being a terror (like certain kids in our social circle. though terrors are not necessarily gender specific :P), missing out on so many things I was looking forward to.
I just felt a tiny bit of disappointment earlier in the week, but today it just feels so huge and I needed to get it out there. I just don't know what to do except allow it and try to move past it. I don't know if we will plan on having more kids, I never imagined having one, and of course that's no guarantee that I wouldn't have two boys (which sounds even scarier lol). I just don't know how to relate, I wasn't close to my brother as he was 9 years older and lived apart from me for much of my childhood. I was mostly raised by my mother as a single mom. This is foreign territory to me...
So maybe anyone feeling the same (with whatever result they got) would care to sympathize with the process of going through this, or offer some of the unique awesome things associated with raising a boy that I can look forward to - I'd really appreciate it :D