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Lost brother

post #1 of 3
Thread Starter 
So some background: I lost my brother, best friend, secret keeper... Etc in 2007

I had just had Rheanna that July and he died October

I have felt that life has escaped from me. I have no joy left!


He was 24.

How do I get joy back in life?? It's been almost 5 years.

any advice helps
post #2 of 3

I am so sorry you are missing your brother. :(
 

I don't know that I have any helpful advice since I have not lost anyone yet who I shared that level of closeness with, but I can imagine how hard it would be to lose any of my own siblings.

 

Maybe others will have some good book reccs for you about dealing with the long-term effects of loss. What I would tell anyone who is going through a rough patch in their life is to focus on the positive and practice gratitude. Try to get some exercise and fresh air, take care of yourself, be gentle to yourself, spend time with people who uplift you. Those are just general things that are good for everybody.

 

I hope you find peace.

post #3 of 3

Hi, this is my first post here, so i hope it works..

 

I lost my brother too. It was 3 years ago. We hadnt been as close as we were for a few years, he had moved away. But growing up, we were very close. We shared the same group of friends right up until our early 20's. I miss him so much. I still have days where I think about ringing him to ask him a question, then I remember that he's not here anymore. When he died it was such a shock to me. You kind of expect that one day you will lose your grandparents, even your parents, but to lose a sibling is a huge shock. 

 

I dont know how to get 'joy' back in your life, but there are things I do to keep my brothers memory alive. 

I've created a fb page called In loving Memory of (his name). I invited all of his friends and family to share memories and photos there. I use it to post messages to him, share songs that I knew he liked etc. 

I visit his grave often. My dad keeps putting horrible fake flowers there, so i've built a small garden on his grave and i plant flowers and such there. On his birthday, or christmas etc I take a beer to him and leave it on his grave. 

 

These things dont stop me from missing him. But it helps to know that there are still little things i can do for him while keeping his memory alive. I dream about him often and there are many times that I can feel his presence near me. 

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