Thanks for backing me up, ladies.
I think the best course of action is therapy, honestly. The problem is we have tried that twice before and got nowhere (I don't think either therapist was the right one for us).
Yes, I believe there is a sense of "woman's work". My hubby grew up in a male-dominated culture. His father was not a hands on parent and he only seems to remember watching tv with his dad. (Although now that I think of it, I don't think his mom was really hands on either: more of the "children should be seen and not heard" mentality.) At his last job, he worked with several guys who were retired military with grown children and frequently heard from those guys that their wives did it all in regards to the parenting. (This may be common in military families to maintain consistency.)
anne1140 - Yes, I believe he views playing with the kids as work although I've never asked him.
I think another part of the problem is that he has mostly seen mainstream parenting so he believes our lives would be easier if we left our children to CIO and just plopped them in front of the tv all day long. He has told me time and time again that I make my life harder by being the type of parent I am (AP).
Yeah, I think therapy is in order.