No, my husband doesn't come home and clean the house or cook but he does put one child to bed while I do the other. He generally cleans up after I cook dinner but he does squirm out of the tough pots by leaving them to soak (he puts some detergent and water in there and considers his job done). If he does any straightening up of the house it is usually accompanied by muttering about what a mess the place is. He occasionally washes a batch of laundry: mostly his own clothing. If we have company over - typically on the weekend - he will help me clean the house.
So those are good things but on the other hand it is incredibly hard to have the tv off while he is home. Our older son expects it. When I have expressed concern about the amount of tv our older son watches and the younger son is exposed to, my hubby has told me that it is up to me to change it because he is too tired at the end of the day to do anything to entertain the kids. Meanwhile I am still waking frequently with my 17 month old nursling while hubby sleeps in the same room as our older guy who wakes maybe one out every 10 nights. The diaper changing reluctance is because of the cloth diapers he tells me yet I keep velcro all in ones around for him to use. When it is basically the same as putting a disposable on him I suspect it is simply an excuse.
Regarding bonding, I think that is a very valid point. During the same conversation he mentioned he loves coming home to me and our older son. I asked what about the younger guy and his response was that he is growing on him. I simply joked that that is good because we sure can't return him now.
I think ds2 feels somewhat the same: a couple of days ago he got annoyed with me for deciding to go to the bathroom rather than nurse him. Hubby came in and offered to pick him up but instead ds2 went to ds1 and hugged him rather than accept comforting from his dad. It was very cute to see my two little ones embracing but also sad in a way.
Sorry this post ended up being longer and more involved than I really intended.....