crazy worry « Back to Group Discussions

[iixivboots]

I'm 34/35 weeks depending on who you ask, and I've started to have a lot of anxiety about not looking pregnant to strangers. I have said before I'm pretty much over the "Omg, I have a B belly!" Thing, I don't think it's going away although it's getting bigger/more pregnant looking, it still has an indent over my belly button. I see tons of women obsess about this on the internet and I was thinking that I was just beyond that and it was just vanity/attention seeking. I have never had a stranger ask me about my pregnancy without some other clue that I'm pregnant.

But then I started to realize that if I am out alone (and in the AZ heat, this is more of a concern for me) and if I were to fall/falnt or have something else happen, since people don't seem to recognize me as pregnant even at 34 weeks, no one would know and they wouldn't know to check on the baby or to take extra care with my well-being, or if I were to go into labor or something. :(

This seriously scares me even though I know it's super unlikely. I've been staying in most days anyway because it's seriously insanely hot (highs 109-111), but this is just one more reason I don't feel like I should be going anywhere and it's another reason that I think that it kind of sucks being fat and pregnant. :(

I hope I can stop worrying about this so much, but I don't know if that will really change how secure I feel being out alone.

[scowgirl]

I had this issue too for much of the pregnancy. (I swear for a while drivers were being less rather than more patient with me when I would cross a parking lot... I think they thought I just had a big gut rather than being pregnant, and as we all know it is perfectly acceptable to take out your frustrations on fat people but not pregnant women.) Unfortunately, if this is really worrying you just in terms of being out and about, and having others be aware of the pregnancy, I think all you can do is try to wear maternity clothes that emphasize your belly. Or at least that's what I try to do; full panel pants are not really awesome in the summer but they seem to make me look the "most pregnant." I think there are still plenty of people who don't notice, even though my belly is really pronounced now at 38 weeks, but anyway that's what I do.

From a safety standpoint, I am actually sort of glad you brought this up, because it never occurred to me before. It would probably be a great idea for all of us, fat or thin, to put some information in our wallet or phone indicating due date, physician, hospital, any health risks associated with the pregnancy or drug allergies, make sure your partner is listed as an emergency contact, etc. I would think this would benefit any pregnant woman in an emergency, and now that I think about it, I can't believe I've never heard it recommended before. To be honest I think this may be even more important for us, because there are any number of assumptions that might be made about a fat woman who collapses in the heat, and "pregnant" may not be the first to come to mind.

I am so sorry for the worry and fear you are feeling, though. 

By telling this story I'm not saying your fear is irrational, because it's not, but I can at least relate to some of the heightened emotions and fears of pregnancy. Last night I pretty much had a panic attack because our air conditioner was running and running and when it can't keep up with the heat, I become extremely anxious that it's going to overheat and start a fire, and nowadays I also start freaking out about climate change when I worry about this, and it's worse because I am bringing a baby into such an unpredictable world. I know this is silly on some level but I can't help it. I had to go downstairs, calm myself, and then sleep on the couch because I couldn't stand to be upstairs anymore. Not the best night's sleep.

[Shinyredstar]

Originally Posted by scowgirl 

I think all you can do is try to wear maternity clothes that emphasize your belly. Or at least that's what I try to do; full panel pants are not really awesome in the summer but they seem to make me look the "most pregnant." I think there are still plenty of people who don't notice, even though my belly is really pronounced now at 38 weeks, but anyway that's what I do.

This has been a big trick for me. I have a "mother's apron" and it makes me really self conscious, but I've found that ALWAYS wearing actual maternity clothes makes me feel much better about it and makes it much more obvious that I'm pregnant and not just with a big belly and that's the only time I have people comment on my pregnancy so I know it's more obvious to other people, too. I didn't buy a huge maternity wardrobe - just enough to get by at work and one pair of capris to wear outside of work, but used a lot of empire waist dresses I had pre-pregnancy and it's either that or... a tank and panties when I'm at home (so don't stop by without calling!) but if I go to the store, etc. I try to wear my maternity clothes because it just makes me feel better.

In terms of the safety, I lived in AZ so I know what you mean!  But I'd think that if you were unconscious for that long, someone would call paramedics and I think paramedics and medical staff are trained well enough to look for signs that someone is pregnant while they're doing an assesment of a patient (particularly one who is unresponsive). Most likely they'd have you on your back so your belly would be more prominent and wouldn't fall as flat (assuming yours is like mine when I lay on my back when I'm not pregnant) and that would be an indicator to at least palpate and determine the situation and at 35 weeks it would be immediately evident.  If it were a situation where someone was going to attempt CPR before paramedics got there, it would also be immediately obvious when they touched your belly. Otherwise, I'd assume that you'd be aware enough to at least tell people that you're pregnant. Just some food for thought :)

[hyde]

Along the lines of what scowgirl said, my midwife gives all of her clients an envelope with a copy of the chart inside to keep in whatever purse/bag they carry around. The outside of the envelope has my name and 'EDD 9/15/2012', and we update the chart inside every time I have an appointment. You might talk to your provider about doing something similar.

[eleuthia]

I've actually started carrying a copy of my chart with me since my former provider gave it to me. It's in a manila envelope, and since I have a complication that could affect my care in an emergency, I think I'm going to type out a little summary and tape it to the front of the envelope (along with my EDD, emergency contacts, etc). I think it's a great idea and it makes me feel slightly less anxious about scary things like walking up & down the stairs to the subway (both my mom & my grandma fell down stairs while pregnant, so I feel cursed or something).