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Why are American kids so spoiled? Help me understand this article. - Page 3

post #41 of 47

This article was hashed out on a friend's FB page recently.

 

I agree with what someone else said earlier in the thread, about what is considered spoiled. I remember a Times cover story not so long ago about "Only Child Myths". I'm an only child raising an only child, and I can't count how many times I have heard someone say (to either my mom when I was growing up, or to me about my daughter), "Why, she's so well-behaved for an only child!" I hate the assumption that only children are spoiled and selfish.

 

Which really has nothing to do with this article, except I think that "spoiled" has become such a hot button issue, but there is clearly no consensus on what it means exactly to be spoiled, only how it can be sensationalized in the media. And frankly, I'm tired of it. We're all terrible parents. We hover. We don't pay enough attention to our kids. We pay too much attention to them. We're overcommitted. We do too much, or not enough. Those are the messages constantly hurled at parents these days.

 

I used to read these kinds of things all the time. Mommy Wars, tiger parenting, spoiled American kids...you name it. But I got to a point where I just realized, I'm beating myself up over nothing. My 4 year old DD is happy, helpful, friendly, well-adjusted. Yes, we have our bad moments, but don't we all? That does not make me a bad parent. So I just keep on keeping on, doing what works best for us and ignoring the naysayers and criticism from strangers (which strangely, always seems to happen in a grocery store or Target!).

 

I read this article within days of it being published. And I will probably read the next sensationalized story. But now I take it with a grain of salt.

post #42 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post

Sorry, you caught my post before I deleted it...and I deleted it because it was snark.  Something I don't like to do and for which I am sorry, which is why I deleted it.  I have these snarkiness problems when people start talking about how awesome their decisions are and how great their kids are, mostly because for a lot of us, raising kids is a struggle.  I don't live on an island (actually I do, but not a south atlantic island) where my kid is out fishing and learning the basics of seafaring and all that good stuff.  I live in a dense city where I have separate problems to contend with. I actually feel pretty good about our decisions with DD, and she's turning out to be a great kid on a lot of fronts.  But I guess the problem I had with the previous poster's post was the idea that there is an American problem with  marketing and deep pockets and spoiling and all that stuff.  I think the issue is much more complex than that.  I think marketing is a problem but there is this view that American's are rich and will spend on anything.  I just don't find that to be true.  Even with expendable income, there are a lot of Americans who just say no.  It is  how I was raised and how I approach  my present life.  I have problems with the broad sweeps that people make about parents and kids.  None of us are perfect.  Okay, maybe some people are.  eyesroll.gif  But this life is an ongoing struggle to achieve balance.  Again, sorry for the snark, sometimes I just need to shut up!  Sheepish.gif

Wow, completely misunderstood! First,I wanted to show that it is only through mad struggle,and a LOT of work,extreme stress,and upset,that I ended up with the patience to deal with 4 little hellraisers! I firmly believe that through adversity comes growth,and my whole life is filled with adversity! Instead of looking at the negative,though,I always have to be optimistic. Second,I wasn't in anyway trying to put anyone down. If there's any blame and resentment I have,it's towards big corporations. By saying 'deep pockets',I didn't mean that parents are rich,but that they want what is best for their kids,and have no qualms about spending on products that they feel will benefit their kids. This is a very admirable trait,but what is NOT,is big business brainwashing a generation into believing that products are what will make you happy. They target innocent children into believing that if they have the Dora cake,party favours, backpack,tshirt,shoes,etc., then they will ultimately be 'cool' in their social circle. Parents,wanting the best for their kids,will buy said products, to please their kids,but it is a vicious cycle that keeps repeating,because you can never be satiated by material things. 

My sister owned a night club,and brought well-known acts from the states,and it was stressful,because on such a small island,u never know if you'll make your money back. We carried the kids to see Chipmunks on Ice,and it was PACKED! I told her,this is where the money is at,because the kids identify so strongly with these characters they see on TV! My kids didn't like it,cause we don't have enough money for cable,but the other kids were screaming,"oh my god,it's Diego"!!!! Sounded as if we were at a Justin Beiber concert for 5yr olds!!lol. My point is,they used to target Teenagers,then Tweens,now Preschoolers. They are getting the kids caught up into their spell younger and younger,and it pisses me off,because it's evil! America is where it's most evident,but I believe it's spreading to other countries too. It's here,in full force as well! I mean,have u checked out the senseless crap they put on the Disney Channel,and MTV?? They are purposefully brainwashing a generation,and trying to dumb us down,so that all we do is consume,and work. U ever notice how on those Disney Channel shows,they never show the parents,and when they do,the kids yelling at em,and treating em like dumbasses? U think that's a coincidence? I think they are trying to split up the family unit,but then again I'm a conspiracy theorist ;)

Sorry for ranting,but you took offence to an issue that REALLY pisses me off,so I just wanted to clarify myself! 

post #43 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by jvdsista View Post

Wow, completely misunderstood!

 

Sorry for ranting,but you took offence to an issue that REALLY pisses me off,so I just wanted to clarify myself! 

No, I was the one to blame for my post.  I was feeling a tad defensive on that particular day (not about anyone on here but just about some stuff in general) and in retrospect was not even reading the post properly, or at least with any kind of empathy.  To put my blathering in context, I had a major falling out with my sister and part of it is her rejection (and her DH's rejection) of what they consider poor American values (they moved to another country to get away from everyone!).  My post was knee-jerky and I'm sorry about that.  greensad.gif

post #44 of 47

No worries,sorry to hear about your own problems! You know,I think America is a wonderful place,and I love the people,and the ideas they come up with,I just feel the country has been hijacked by corporations. Anyway,I wish you the best with the relationship with your sister!

post #45 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by jvdsista View Post

No worries,sorry to hear about your own problems! You know,I think America is a wonderful place,and I love the people,and the ideas they come up with,I just feel the country has been hijacked by corporations. Anyway,I wish you the best with the relationship with your sister!

Believe me, I'm with you on the corporations part!  (insert, Hugs emoticon...can't find in the emoticon section!).  

post #46 of 47

Oh. I'm glad it was snark! I thought you were being sincere. Sorry!

 

I think there's a lot a kid can learn about life and how to be a good person on that island where you live. Some of my favorite people grew up there.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by CatsCradle View Post

Sorry, you caught my post before I deleted it...and I deleted it because it was snark.  Something I don't like to do and for which I am sorry, which is why I deleted it.  I have these snarkiness problems when people start talking about how awesome their decisions are and how great their kids are, mostly because for a lot of us, raising kids is a struggle.  I don't live on an island (actually I do, but not a south atlantic island) where my kid is out fishing and learning the basics of seafaring and all that good stuff.  I live in a dense city where I have separate problems to contend with. I actually feel pretty good about our decisions with DD, and she's turning out to be a great kid on a lot of fronts.  But I guess the problem I had with the previous poster's post was the idea that there is an American problem with  marketing and deep pockets and spoiling and all that stuff.  I think the issue is much more complex than that.  I think marketing is a problem but there is this view that American's are rich and will spend on anything.  I just don't find that to be true.  Even with expendable income, there are a lot of Americans who just say no.  It is  how I was raised and how I approach  my present life.  I have problems with the broad sweeps that people make about parents and kids.  None of us are perfect.  Okay, maybe some people are.  eyesroll.gif  But this life is an ongoing struggle to achieve balance.  Again, sorry for the snark, sometimes I just need to shut up!  Sheepish.gif

post #47 of 47

Frankly this was a pretty worthless article, for all the reasons people already mentioned. The author obviously wanted to make a point, then went about gathering (or manufacturing) evidence to support her POV. It's unscientific, anecdotal (or made up), reactionary, and just plain agenda-ized.

 

It doesn't push my insecurity buttons because it's so pointless. Lol.

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