post #41 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by stormborn View Post

Here it's  a matter-o-fact "Take it or leave it" with a follow up "I don't want to hear any whining!" if needed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola View Post

I first heard that when my kids were in kindergarten--the don't throw a fit part, not the don't get upset.  I've never heard that version.  But I really liked it because my kids seemed to get it.  I mean they would throw fits about stuff and for whatever reason, this almost seemed empowering to them.  Like it was OK, they were all in the same situation, they were all going to get something, they didn't have to stress about who was going to get what.

But now I feel like it's been overused.  We had a party in school earlier in the year, and a boy passed out one of the treats his mom had brought, and my daughter did not want to eat it, and he used that phrase, kind of indicating that meant she had to eat it.  And I told her she did not.  So I think some kids interpret it differently.  Like not throwing a fit means you have to eat something you don't like, and that's not what it means to me or my child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mama24-7 View Post

I have worked in day cares & schools so I understand why it is used in situations where there are multiple children.  Day care & school, schools & the school system are not set up in a way that makes it so that the emotional needs of the children can be met.

I do not like the phrase.  I think that it is dismissive of the person/people to whom it is being said.  It is just another way of saying, "I don't want to deal w/ your emotions so don't even bother."  Because I have worked w/ multiple children at once, I know that it does not take much more time to say something along the lines of, "I have a variety of this treat, so I will give you each one & if you'd like to trade w/ one another for your preference you can."  No, it doesn't shut things down like the phrase in question does, but it is a respectful way of letting those who are getting the treat know that the giver realizes the exact treat the receiver gets may not work for them.

It has been said that adults aren't going to throw a fit over a treat.  That's probably true.  But adults throw fits all the time (road rage & its many milder forms of flipping the bird, cutting people off, etc.).  Maybe if these adults had been helped in dealing w/ their feelings & frustrations when they were little, they wouldn't still be so upsetable as adults.  I've been saying this kind of thing for years (see my sig).

Sus

I heard it the first time (the "don't throw a fit" version) from my dd1's best friend, when they were in pre-K. She's going into second grade now and I don't like it any better than I did the first time. Couldn't figure out at the time why I didn't like it, other than the tone in which it was delivered.

The problem with rhymes like that is that young kids taunt each other with rhymes all the time. It's been something that dd1 (and I) have had to deal with in her first two years of school. As an adult, I much prefer a more straightforward, unrhymed approach to the issue.

For what it's worth, "not throwing a fit" is something we've had to work with dd1 on from the time she was a toddler. And it's not because we cater to her every whim, creating a false sense of entitlement.