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Queer Conceptions July 2012

post #1 of 184
Thread Starter 






Waiting to O whistling.gif


* outdoorsy








*Photo Girl


* sotohana





Waiting to Know... Braving the 2WW fingersx.gif









* Cananny




Working on IVF ecbaby.gif


* kgulbransen

Taking a Break/Figuring Things Out/Waiting to be Ready wool.gif


* justrose13 & JenMostOften chartnew.gif

* Wishin'&hopin'


* thenewzero


* MrsPP BFPChart2.gif

* wannabmomkt

* AngelaM

* invitnconceptn



* rs11

* Amt1015

* darthtunaqueen

* mrsandmrs









* AnnaNotherThing

* TineyDreams

* Gellybeangrl BFPChart2.gif



2012 Graduates! babyf.gif


May * mtnlisa broc1.gif

April * nosreves joy.gif

March * SkyandTru carrot.gif*JuneBugcarrot.gif

February *MidwifeStephPDX banana.gif *SouthernBelle24 banana.gif


January * Planet jammin.gif *Dandylezjammin.gif



2011 Graduates! bellycast.gif


December * DesertSunsets 
November * Aljm41910
October * Vienna79 * KSDoulaMama *Pleasantlyfurious *SwtRainbowBrite * Go_Vegan 
September * Smilingsara * Ad Astra  * Mumquest 
August *Prettyisa
July * Onemommyonemama  * Southern Fried Karma BFPChart2.gif 
June * CrystalPerez * Qmama42 
May * KellySF 
April * want2bmumx2  * Indigoscot & DP 
March * Graceie  * Seraf * 2ezforyou  *Mommy55 
February * Escher 10/24/11 *SharriKitColorado* DAWNMP1
January * Starling&diesel 10/2/11


2010 Graduates!

November * Mizyellow 7/25/11 * AmyPDX 7/30/11 * AmandaHope 8/3/11 * Cejae 7/4/11
September * Solejean 5/19/11 * Painefaria 6/5/11
August * Bttrflygypsy 4/10/11 * 2happymamas 4/15/11 * LibraryLady 4/15/11
July * Beastie 3/21/11 * Gumshoegirl007 4/2/11 * Wehrli 4/1/11
June * Coco & DP 2/14/11
May * Burg 2/4/11 * Korey 2/1/11
April * Calimeow * Mtnlisa * Kimlyn32
February * Mistral * Quasar & smartycat * Monarchgrrl * Erthe_mama & DP
January * Lyndzies * FtMpapa


2009 Graduates!

December* Osker * Megan sacha * Mkpgoddess
October * JJNoho * Mommies 2 Be * Megincl & Ktcl
September * Elismum1908 * KSDoulaMama * Pleasantlyfurious
August * Chicagoml * Wishin'&hopin'
July * Hbog
May * Indigoscot's dp
April * Kelmendi * KJM * Whoabethy * Carmen
March * Scalpel * Katwomyn4
February * Deny_zoo29
January * Jodybird511

Edited by Hopeful22 - 7/23/12 at 6:37am
post #2 of 184
Thread Starter 

Welcome to July Queer Conceptions all!!! Lets make some babies! makebabe.gif




Carmen! Congratulations on your wonderful numbers!!!!! I am so excited for you. Let me know when you want me to move your name.


Pokey-hug2.gifto you and your DP. Hang in there. It will happen. It is awesome that they have a counselor. I am sure that will be helpful. I have been seeing someone for a few months and she definitely helps me in this process. Will you be doing the Femera again?


Darth- I hope the HSG goes well for your DP and everything comes up all nice and clear.


Jenny- Thank you so much for the info on Vitex and congrats on losing 30lbs!!


AFM- I am 10 DPI today and may test tomorrow morning. I had a fasting glucose test done to test my sugar levels and they came back fine at 83. I am thinking about also doing an A1C test to see if that would show anything. After the advice from you guys I started to look into how irregular sugar levels can affect fertility and I get a lot of the symptoms for hypoglycemia when I get hungry so that makes me think that my sugar levels tend to drop quite often. Does anyone have any experience with sugar levels affecting fertility? I was reading about it online and a few people said that they were able to conceive after eating a diet that helped them maintain their levels and one person said that they had done this experiment with insulin and mice in high school and there were something like 30 or 40 mice all in a cage together, half male and half female, and they were injected with insulin everyday for a certain amount of time and during that time none of the female mice became pregnant. Well after the insulin experiment was over the person decided to keep the mice all together in the same cage and within a few weeks all or most of the females were pregnant. So now I am wondering if there is in fact something off with my own sugar levels and maybe I need to regulate them better.



goodvibes.gif to you all!


ETA: I have had some light cramping yesterday and just had a very small spot of blood on my toilet paper. I hope this is a good sign!

Edited by Hopeful22 - 6/29/12 at 11:14am
post #3 of 184

Hopeful, if you have a link to share from your research on the sugar issue, that would be great. My concern is more about high sugar than low. I've tried to research whether too much sugar or variable sugar (not in the diabetes sense, but in the afternoon-cookie-binge sense) could hinder conception, but I haven't found much info other than from sources that are generally anti-sugar for nutritional reasons.

post #4 of 184

Thanks for the new thread, Hopeful!  My fingers are crossed so tightly for you!  Those signs do sound good.


Carmen - That is wonderful news!  I hope the little seed continues to grow and divide healthfully and that you get to see something good on that ultrasound.


AFM - I am 99% sure that I am not pregnant, but AF is not here yet.  She would normally arrive today, but may be delayed due to the progesterone.  If it doesn't happen today, I will take a test tomorrow.  My wife got home late last night and was so emotionally exhausted that we haven't really had a chance to talk about what's going on yet.  Poor thing broke her toe the other day too!  It's always something.

post #5 of 184

Hopeful: My RE believes strongly that elevated sugar levels can cause problems both getting and staying pregnant which is why I'm on Metformin. And if you read further about sugar levels (whether you believe you tend toward elevated sugar levels or low sugar levels) they can be a contributing factor in infertility. Why? Because ultimately it can mess with your hormones which obviously, play a big role in your fertility.


An A1c predictor test is used to determine whether you have a more likelihood towards diabetes and is thought to be a more reliable test than a fasting glucose because it's more accurate. Frankly, you're in a very optimal range for a fasting glucose I think most doctors would find it doubtful that you would have an issue with how your body processes insulin. The study you found supports the theory that elevated sugar levels can pose a problem. But you don't think you lean towards elevated sugar levels. And even in that, you don't have what would be considered a low sugar level.


I don't mean to confuse you as you're looking for potential answers but if all your other hormone levels are checking out then it's unlikely your insulin is playing a role in anything.


Hope that makes sense!



post #6 of 184

hopeful: Sounds like you have some promising symptoms going on! Crossing my fingers for you.


pokey: You never know............keep us updated!


krista: How are things going with your IVF journey?



Afm: Thanks for the kind words! I'm doing pretty good. I had my final exam today and I ended up graduating top of the class which I'm pretty proud of given what I was going through the last week! I'm also bloated again with mildly sore breasts. I've been having some mild/moderate cramping off and on since last night but no spotting or anything so I'm trying to just relax. I have another acupuncture appointment scheduled for next week - for any of you who don't do it...it is SO helpful even for dealing with the emotional drain of TTC.

post #7 of 184
Hiya July ....
Wow June sure has flown right by us....
I'm still waiting for the ugly af to show her face....I finished the progesterone a few days ago so hopefully she gets a clue...it's been two months since I've tried and I'm getting very impatient here .....
I got a bill for my Hsg and was scared to look at the amount....I was so relieved to see I only owed 20.00...love the good insurance:/
In other news we are now licensed foster parents.... We r waiting for the final paper and then wait for calls smile.gif

Carmen great beta ....I know you are scared to hope but I'm holding out this little nugget is a sticky bean!!

Hopeful.... Fx these are good signs ....

Pokey...it's not over until the fat lady sings (af) so i am crossing everything for you!!

Hi everyone else smile.gif
post #8 of 184
Carmen!!! Yay!!! On my phone so I can't do all the fancies, but my head is full of dancing broccoli over this news!!!
post #9 of 184



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post #10 of 184

Still hanging out here in the TWW (10dpo)...I keep making DW pineapple/chia seed/coconut milk smoothies and adding umeboshi vinegar to things...(foods our acupuncturist recommended).


We just got a BIG bill from the RE, so we are really hoping that this will be the month...stupid insurance company, ergh!

post #11 of 184

Cananny - Congrats on finishing up your foster parent certification!  That was quick.  You have an exciting journey ahead!  Also, I hope AF shows up soon so you can start a new cycle.


AFM - I took a test yesterday and it was negative as I suspected.  AF has arrived today.  I'm feeling ok.  I already had my freak out a few days ago.  We decided to try the injectables this cycle to increase our chances of getting a sticky bean.  So the next 2 weeks should be busy with appointments and such.  I'll have to talk to the nurse tomorrow to see what I need to do.  I also got some sad news the other day.  My friend's husband passed away on Friday.  I mentioned her here a while ago.  He had a rare form of cancer and he's been sick for 3 and a half years.  Luckily, they had a great specialist who kept him relatively healthy for most of this time.  They ran out of treatment options a little over a month ago.  The wake is on the 15th so I will be going up to Portland for a few days to be with my friend.  I was prepared to go this week, but I'm glad they are not having the service for a while because that gives me time to do all my TTC stuff and then go visit her without having my own stuff to worry about.  Could I please be moved to Waiting to O?

dust.gifto all!

post #12 of 184

Wishin, yuck!  Crossing my fingers that this is your month too, so you don't have to do another round.  :D


Happy Canada day to all you Canucks out there!!

post #13 of 184

July already? Ugh...things have been so hard around here. DW and I got into a HUGE fight this afternoon and I'm reeling. She's off with my friend, whom she's basically stolen, at her son's birthday party. I couldn't go and face people. 

Have any of you fought like this while TTC? I feel like she doesn't give two shits about how I'm feeling. When I try to talk to her it's like talking to a brick wall. She deflects everything back on me. I ask what I can do differently and she lists fifteen things and then doesn't offer to come my way at all. I feel completely unacknowledged and left out of everything that she's feeling. I have to pry every word and thought out of her and when she starts talking she blames everything on me. She never says anything even remotely like "I'm sorry you are feeling that way." She doesn't take any responsibility. If I'm sharing my feelings, I'm nagging. Goddamit.

Honestly, we've always fought because we are both hot heads, but I'm getting so damn tired of it. I know she is too. Somedays all I want to do is throw in the towel- just cut my losses and leave. 

I'm sorry- I don't want to share any of this with anyone who knows us in real life... is anyone out there to chat?

post #14 of 184

Awww Soto, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this stuff.  TTC sure brings out the worst (and sometimes best) in all of us.  :(  I think parenting can too, so this may be something you guys hash out before there actually IS a tiny human, who doesn't deserve to hear his or her parents fighting all the time.  Our year of TTC has certainly not brought out the best in DW and I... we are currently locked in a battle of wills over my frustration over DW not currently having a job (and me feeling like she's not actually putting forth the effort to find one).  I hope you guys can get through this, you can always try counselling!!  At least then you have a witness if DW locks down and refuses to talk!!

post #15 of 184

Pokey - So sorry to hear about AF. A new cycle is a fresh start -- good luck this cycle!


Cananny - I hope AF comes soon.


Soto - Yuck. I'm sorry you're going through that. It sounds like a pretty bad situation. If you try serious sit-down talks and they don't help, seems like counseling would be a good idea if your wife is willing to go. Have you tried writing down and/or emailing your discussion instead of saying it out loud? It sounds weird, but it can take away some of the emotion, and the reading into one another's tone, so you can make more progress in a discussion.


A belated Happy Canada Day to the Canadians, and good luck to everyone who is still in the TWW this cycle!

post #16 of 184

wishin: Yum, the smoothies you are making sound yummy! When will you test?


pokey: Sorry about the negative greensad.gif I hope the injectables are the ticket for you.


soto: Ugh, I'm sorry you're going through that. My DP and I have had some WICKED fights while TTC...and while parenting. It's really hard because it just adds to the stress for everyone and isn't very conducive to creating a perfect environment for conception! It sounds like you both have different ways of communicating and processing things (same for my DP and I). Have you tried not prying directly and trying to get her to talk using a different method? Perhaps she feels attacked. I'm totally not defending her or blaming you...I just know from experience that you can't change another person....just how you deal with them! Good luck...



Afm: I believe I'm still pregnant....5 weeks today or 1/8 of the way to my due date shy.gif I've been fall over tired and hungry every 2 hours. Only a couple of waves of nausea so far but it didn't kick in until about 6 weeks with DD either. I go between being completely calm and completely anxious. Good times ;) I need to call the RE today and get my u/s set up. Hopeful, you can move me to graduates for June - may as well, I'm pregnant today.


Happy Belated Canada Day to everyone! We had lovely day out at Granville Island and then so some friends' for a BBQ. A long day but fun.

post #17 of 184
Well Af showed up yesterday along with a horrid flu that has has me in bed for 24 hrs...throwing up is my least favorite thing in the world...today I'm better and actually able to keep liquids down:)

Pokey you and I are cycle buddies ..being we r on injectables I'm sure we will see each other at dr H ...again sorry about your good friends husband... Tough to lose a loved one ....

Wishin.....fx ...insurance is a joke ...I'm fortunate to still have insurance that covers most fertility stuff ... I got a bill and was scared it was going to be exp ..it was my hsg that out of pocket was 20.00 ...I'm not going to have this ins for long so I'm using it up as much as I can !!! I wish we all had excellent coverage !!!!

Off to call re set up All my lovely appts
post #18 of 184

Soto: I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. When they list out the most stressful things in a person's life that can happen (death of a close one, moving, new job) trying to have a child/having a child is right up there. I think the truth of the matter is that it shows a person's true colors. When it gets down to the nitty gritty, who is supporting you and how? I think DW is giving you a very clear message about her capabilities in that department.


I'm going to throw out the usual suggestions that can help someone in this situation. Couples counseling? Counseling just for you? Counseling for DW? If DW not into it one-on-one, a class on communication where you guys aren't the only students. I think many people go through this process (or processes like this) and realize that all along, their partner had shown their true colors, it was just easier to sweep it under the rug before because maybe your life was a little easier or you weren't dealing with such large emotional issues. But now, when you're in the emotional turmoil of something like TTC, and you're in serious need of support, you're not getting what you need. And it will only get tougher when a child comes along unless it gets worked out. To take off and not deal with the situation head on is immature.


I know it's not easy to make the decisions you need to, but I think you need to set some boundaries for yourself. At the least, get yourself into counseling so that you can openly discuss with a neutral and professional party, what the next best steps are for you. And for your emotional health. This may mean staying together, this may mean a period of separation, it may mean a full breakup.


Lots of hugs coming your way,


post #19 of 184
Thread Starter 

Outdoorsy- I like your advice of writing or emailing serious things that you have a hard time talking about. It seems like it can be a good way to get things heard without having an accusatory tone or the other person becoming defensive. I am gonna keep that tucked away for later!


Pokey- I moved you to waiting to O. I am sorry to hear about your friends husband but glad you can be there to comfort her. Good luck this month with injectables. I hope it does what it needs to do. Question for ya if you don't mind me asking, is an injectable cycle a lot more expensive than a regular clomid cycle?


Soto- I am so sorry to hear that you and DW are having troubles right now. PM me if you wanna talk more or get that coffee we talked about awhile ago. I may not have a lot of advice but sometimes its nice just to talk to someone. 


Wishin- When are you guys planning on testing?


Cananny- Congrats on getting your foster license! And Yay for only having to pay $20 for the HSG!


Krista- Thanks for the info on sugar levels and the A1C test.


AFM- BFN 11 and 13 DPI. We are out this cycle just waiting for AF to show. My first BFN this cycle was on Saturday and it hit me kinda hard. I was cleaning out my closet and in the very back I found the Oregon Duck onesies I had purchased 4 months ago at a second hand shop. I took them out and started crying. DW and I had a long talk about being in different spots re: TTC. She says she wants a baby and is ready for one but is also fine if it doesn't happen right now, so its ok if it does and its ok if it doesn't happen. I feel beyond ready to be a Momma. I worry that maybe she isn't ready and will feel like I pushed her into doing this. Do any of you feel like you are in different spots re TTC than your partners? 

post #20 of 184

One of the things I think is interesting about being queer and TTC is that by the time many of us decide we are ready to have babies we mean "a baby, NOW"--which in our family means that being ready to start the process of TTC was really when we felt ready for the actual, in the flesh, baby.  This made the whole process of waiting through the trying and the pregnancy much harder--because really we were ready for "a baby, NOW" about 2 years before we actually had that baby.  It feels sort of the same now, we are ready for child #2, NOW!  So the TTC part is aggravating and frustrating and irritating...for loads of reasons, but also because we wish we could just skip the whole process to get to the end result.  


Communication has been key for us...and we have seen a counselor a couple of times (prior to DS1) just to process out loud what we were going through. This time has been easier for many reasons--mostly I think b/c we have done the work we needed (together and separately) through our DS's birth/infancy.      Soto, I hope that you are able to work stuff out before you have a baby earthside--for us the first year of DS's life was a pretty tough year (and in some ways harder than TTC).  


Anyways, bummer for the BFNs for Hopeful and Pokey--I hope the next month is kinder to you both.  


We won't be testing until DW goes for her blood test on the 5th...we are tired of spending money on tests for BFNs.  

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