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Queer Conceptions July 2012 - Page 2

post #21 of 184

Hopeful - I'm so sorry about your BFN's.  That is a huge bummer.  I had a similar sad moment to your Oregon Ducks onesie when I was looking at the kids backpacks in the LL Bean catalog.  I hope you are feeling better and that you come up with a plan for the future that will work for you and DP.  I'm sorry you are not on the exact same page with TTC.  It sounds like you are pretty close.  It may be that it is more urgent for you because you are the one trying to get pregnant and that when you do DP will be totally on board.  Maybe she will realize how ready she is when she sees a positive test or an u/s picture.  Sending harmonious vibes your way!

To answer your question, yes injectables are a lot more expensive than Clomid.  Clomid cost me about $7 plus $120 for the monitoring ultrasound.  The shots can cost hundreds of dollars and they you go in for 3 or more monitoring ultrasounds.  There may also be blood tests involved.  My insurance covers half of drug costs.  I don't know how much the medicine costs yet, and the cost depends on how much I need to use.  I spoke to the nurse yesterday, and the doctor recommended that I do 5 days of Femara and then 5 days or so of injectables.  It's a little less aggressive and less expensive.  I think she said this plan also does not require the daily blood tests which is a relief because I have squirrely veins that are hard to find sometimes.


wishin' - Fingers tightly crossed for you!


Carmen - So glad things are moving along well.  I hope you continue to have symptoms but that the nasty pain goes away.  Take care.


Soto - I'm very sorry to hear you and DW are having troubles.  I second what everyone else said.  Communication is so important in a marriage, in TTC and in parenting.  Counseling for one or both of you could definitely help.  Our RE's office has a social worker people can talk to.  Maybe yours has something similar. 


AFM - Thank you for all the kind words for my BFN and for my friend.  I'm very glad I will be able to spend some time with my friend.  I have been trying to support her from afar, and I'm grateful that I am able to travel and do it in person at this time.  Well, we had a busy day yesterday.  I made all my appointments and then I talked to my wife and we realized we won't have the money for TTC until after we need it this month.  I was very disappointed, but we decided to postpone until next month when our savings will be more robust and I will be less stressed.  I don't always deal well with change so last minute changes really throw me off.  It's probably a good thing because the nurse said I shouldn't leave the area for 2 weeks after taking injectables, and I will be in Portland for several days right after I O.  I think I will be less stressed next month too because I won't be traveling or going to a wake or trying to schedule appointments when nurses and co-workers are all on vacation for the holiday.  I'll still go to acupuncture and try to do all my other healthy things.  I am also getting a massage which I am very excited about!  I need it.  Please move me to Taking a Break.  I'll still be around cheering you all on.  Cananny - I'm so sorry we won't be cycle buddies!  I was really looking forward to that.

post #22 of 184

It's possible we're waiting to ovulate in July (30 or 31), but it will more likely be the first few days of August. But we're finally to the time we're just waiting to try. Donor will be in town for a few weeks, so we're just going to relax and try it at home. It's much less stressful than getting all the tests and filling out all the paperwork that would be required if we were doing it at a doctor's office. We hope it will stick on the first try, but of course, we know that's not very likely. Any advice on how many times we should try in a cycle? I'm thinking three (each day starting on the day the LH surge is positive, since that will probably end up being two days before ovulation, day before ovulation, day of ovulation), but I've also heard that male fertility can decrease with time if you try too many days in a row. We just want to take full advantage of donor being here because we'll have to ship after this.

post #23 of 184

Hey all, just a quick pop-in from my TTC break to say hi. I'm sorry about the BFNs this month.


Pokey, good luck with the injectibles! We're headed that way if our next cycle doesn't work.


Carmen, glad to hear things are going well, and sorry you've been having pain.


East to West, there are others here with more experience with fresh sperm, but I think once a day for three days sounds good. I can't remember- has your KD had his sperm tested for count, motility, and morphology? Darthtunaqueen can weigh in on the importance of that. Really exciting that you get to try soon!


Soto- TTC is hard. Be good to yourselves and to each other. We, like everyone else here, have found counseling helpful at points. We have similar communication breakdowns sometimes. If you can find a method for communicating that works for you both, it will do your relationship a lot of good in the long run. We had a counselor who did some Imago therapy with us at one point, and I liked the model for dialogue that they use.


Krista, how are you doing? Where are you in things?


Hopeful- I'm sorry about the hard emotions. It sucks sometimes, doesn't it?


AFM, AF just arrived, but we decided to take another month off. If we got preggs this month, our due date would exactly coincide with the one major conference obligation DP has next spring. So, we're waiting another month. It makes more sense timing-wise (late spring baby would make for a nice summer off), but I'm anxious to get started again. We go north to the promised land of Provincetown in just 3.5 weeks. I cannot wait!


Sorry for everyone I'm missing. Hugs to you all.

post #24 of 184

easttowest - your plan sounds good. Multiple insems per cycle is one of the big upsides of fresh sperm, so you want to take advantage of that as much as possible, but more than 3 is probably unnecessary. From what I remember reading, it's true the sperm count can drop a little with frequent tries, but not so much that the tries aren't worthwhile, provided everything is OK with the guy's sperm.

post #25 of 184

EasttoWest: on the three times we got pregnant we insemmed day before O, day of O and day after O. Not sure what the magic was there, but so you have it. Most REs will tell you getting ahead of ovulation is most important so you might want to consider two days prior to O to cover all bases. We didn't necessarily mean for it to work out that way, it just did and it worked for us. As for sperm count, in a young, healthy male, ejaculating every 24 hours and not waiting the obligatory 48 hours in between is going to be fine. Sperm counts are most likely going to still be good. If he's older, and if you haven't had his sperm tested, it may be worth timing it every other day to give him time to recover.


AFM: go for my egg retrieval tomorrow. Talk about fireworks! It's been a rough beginning. At first I was doing well and responding to meds as expected, then things kind of slowed and they weren't so sure so they pushed me another day on the meds. That seemed to work and it looked like we had enough to move forward. But this is only one of many hurdles we have to get over so one step at a time. We leave for vacation in the Sierras on Saturday and I am oh-so-excited!


Happy Fourth to all, no matter how/why you celebrate it!



post #26 of 184

Krista - Good luck tomorrow!  I hope you get lots of healthy eggs.  We are all rooting for you.  And have a great vacation!


Angela - Happy vacation to you too!  Enjoy the rest of your break.


easttowest - I agree with the other folks that the timing sounds good.  Good luck!

post #27 of 184

wave.gif Hello everyone,


I have been reading the forums for a long while now so I thought I would officially join in with the conversation. All of you ladies are so motivating and inspiring!


I will start by telling you about our story: I am 30 and my DP is 31. We live in Oklahoma (ultra conservative state...ugh), but I tolerate it most days. We have been together for 7 years this October.

We always wanted to have kids but we had to wait until the finances lined up and I graduated from nursing school. Originally, I was going to carry first, but last Christmas, DP had the idea that

we both carried together. I was completely baffled by this, considering she never even wanted to carry at all until 2 years ago! I was overjoyed though and intrigued at the prospect of twins in the

house!! So we both began charting on FF in March this year. We had our first at home insemination with frozen sperm with DP in June...BFN greensad.gif I think the timing was off.


We were literally down to the wire at the end of June awaiting her testing and/or AF, so we overnight shipped the sperm for my insemination in the nick of time. She started the morning I got my 

sperm shipped.  I am now 7DPO and knee deep in the TWW ugh. I am excited yet apprehensive, bc I know the odds the first time around...I will try and wait to test on 13DPO.


I am glad to be here and share this experience with you guys!


BTW: I am on the left in the pic.

post #28 of 184

Ooohhh can I ever chime in about the importance of getting a count, motility and morphology done PRIOR to insemination.  On BOTH ends (the TTC and the post "oh hey our baby has this incredibly rare chromosomal defect that is so rare it doesn't even have a name, but our baby is incompatible with life and living on life support in the NICU" part too).  The TTC end is simply frustrating, the actual-baby-made end is devastating and sickening to watch.  The latter is incredibly rare, we see maybe 2 cases a year (out of the 45,000 babies born in BC every year), but we're pretty sure our KD's abnormal morphology meant that we were conceiving, but DW's body was dumping the pregnancy because it was abnormal (she does a lot of meditation for her body to keep and grow a healthy pregnancy, and to terminate if it's abnormal).  


Krista, GOOD LUCK with your egg retrieval tomorrow!!!  I'll rub some babies at work for you and send their magical baby dust your way!!  :D

post #29 of 184

Hi everybody,


I tried to post a while ago but for some reason it would not post...I would like to be added to waiting to know please.


If this post works, I will repost my little story...I think I may be doing something wrong though.

post #30 of 184


Edited by erinTNgirl - 7/5/12 at 12:09pm
post #31 of 184

Good luck Krista!


AFM blood test for DW tomorrow...we are hopeful, but we always are!

post #32 of 184

erinTNgirl -  Welcome.gif  We look forward to getting to know you.  Hope your stay here is short and sweet.  Good luck in the TWW!


Wishin' -  Good luck tomorrow!

post #33 of 184

easttowest: Your timing sounds great. I've done many combinations - 2 days before O, day of O; 3 days before O and 1 day before O and day of O, etc. etc. I've had success with various combinations (I only have one child but I've been pregnant 9 times if you can believe it lol). I think 3 days in a row is fine as long as your donor is young, healthy and has no sperm quality issues. Fwiw, we didn't have our donor tested at all for sperm analysis (of course he had other testing done for stds, etc.). I'm not saying you shouldn't get that tested I'm just sharing that we didn't. Good luck!


Angela: You sound like you're enjoying the break - good to hear :)


I hope the retrieval went well today, krista!



Afm: I'm still pregnant today! I'm feeling pretty good. Very tired and very emotional. So very emotional. Yikes. And I'm having trouble feeling confident that this baby will be born in 9 months. I think I'm actually expecting it not to work out and I hate that I appear to have lost all trust in my body to do this :(

post #34 of 184
Thread Starter 
Good Morning ladies! Just popping in to say that DW and I are on a little much needed vacation in central Oregon for the weekend so I will move everyone where they need to go on Monday when I have more than my phone to get online with. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
post #35 of 184


Edited by erinTNgirl - 7/5/12 at 12:10pm
post #36 of 184

Thanks Pokey!

I tried again to post our story, but it was held for moderation. So I will be patient! I am on 9DPO and will test on 13DPO. This TWW is really long...

post #37 of 184

Thank you so much everyone. Things are getting better with DW. We are going to be starting a healthy queer relationships class on Monday, which I'm really looking forward to. I'll let you all know how it goes.


While that is good, we got punched in the gut yesterday (figuratively speaking) when I checked my FB page five minutes before we got to my parent's house for 4th of July. My Mom re-posted a picture my sister had put up and announced that my sister is pregnant with her second child. My sister didn't call me or come see me first before putting it on FB (she lives literally 30 blocks away)- nothing. Plus she knows we are trying to conceive. Plus! We had hoped that we'd be making our own announcement on 4th of July- we'd made plans and everything. Omg. It hurts so bad I can't even explain it. Honestly, I had a panic attack. DW and I called our friends who are lesbian parents and then my other friend who had a difficult time conceiving. They comforted us, but it hasn't relieved much of the anger. I thought that maybe my sister was going to call me (we turned around and went home and gave an excuse about DW having a migraine), but no. This morning she made another announcement on her FB page. I commented "Wow! Exciting! My phone must be acting up cause I didn't see a missed call from you to share the good news." She replied with a total lie about how she tried to call but it went straight to vm and then her phone got turned off this morning so she couldn't place calls, but that I should totally call her. Right! I'm gonna call you! I'm crawling out of my skin right now....

*deep breaths......................................................................*

post #38 of 184

Sotohana - I'm glad things are getting better with DW, and the class sounds great and well-timed.  I hope it goes well and you learn some new skills and some new things about each other and your relationship.

In other news, your sister sucks big time.  Regardless of your TTC status, why wouldn't she call you to tell you herself before she tells the whole world?  I'm sorry you have to deal with that BS.  Is that how she usually behaves?  If I were your sister, I would be much more sensitive.  Maybe if she has a baby shower in a few months, you and DW can announce that you are having a baby and totally steal her thunder.  Unless, of course, you think that's mean and petty which it just might be, but it sounds fun now.mischievous.gif

post #39 of 184

It does sound fun! I hope that happens. Gods gonna send me to hell, but I also hoped for some other things to happen yesterday.

I just feel like moving- quitting my job and moving to Borneo or something. Having to spend so much time with my toxic family is sooooooo hard. I've known my mom has borderline personality disorder for a long time, so I have learned not to trust her and not take things personally. With my sister, though, I thought I could trust her. I just don't get why she would be so selfish and inconsiderate.... 

post #40 of 184
Soto...sorry about toxic family ...that's hard and glad to read you and dp are doing better ...

Pokey sad we aren't cycle buddies but I get the finances part ...why it has to b so exp ....ps injectables run me 37.00 with an 80% coverage ..so I don't think it would be a lot more for you smile.gif fx august is a lucky month (my b day ) lol

Hi and welcome Erin ...hoping your stay is short and sweet

Hi everyone else

Afm....just on day two of clomid..went for us today she saw lots of little eggs on my left and some on right ...I start injections Saturday with iui being between thurs and sat next week ...this round of meds has me really emotional and kinda mean greensad.gif ugh I hate it ...
My dr is awesome she's supportive.... And weight is a big issue for me ...I know that going into this ..that my chances were lower ...but today the dr said it she said it might not be working because of your weight greensad.gif she was really nice and not trying to b offensive ...but it really upset me ...if I were younger and knew id have this killer insurance for another year..I'd go on a drastic weight loss kick ...but time is not my friend :/ sigh
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