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Queer Conceptions July 2012 - Page 3

post #41 of 184

Hi everyone. I'm back from my first RE appointment. She did an ultrasound, and it was normal. She saw what should be the corpus luteum from my recent O (surged on CD 10, which is super early for me). They are doing bloodwork to check prolactin and progesterone to make sure everything is as it should be. The doc didn't have much to say about my weird cycles, except that if I have a high baseline LH, I could be getting positives on the opk at times when I'm not really about to ovulate. So, if the bloodwork comes back normal, we'll start next cycle with ultrasound monitoring, possibly a trigger, and then insem! She said that since I have one vial left at the midwife's, I could have the actual insem done there in order to avoid the cost of transferring it. That's a mixed blessing since the midwife's office is farther away through city traffic, but -- whatever! I feel relieved to have some hope that I may be getting a handle on this.

 

Best to everyone ----

post #42 of 184

Carmen- I'm thinking of you and sending you love to get through this day. Tomorrow is a clean slate and a new opportunity to feel better. And if tomorrow doesn't feel better, then the next day will. <3

 

Hopeful- thank you for that offer. I'm taking you up on it. When do you and your wife get back into town? p.s. We are going to Summer Lake Hot Springs in Central Oregon next week for our 4 year anniversary!

 

erinTNgirl- Welcome! I'm glad you've found this group. I, for one, think it is my biggest sanity saver during this crazy roller coaster ride! May it also be a good source of support for you.

 

More later...I've gotta get back to work. 

post #43 of 184

BFN

post #44 of 184

Crap!

post #45 of 184

Wishin: bummed the f*** out for you. I'm sorry.

 

Soto: why do family and friends have to be so difficult? I am convinced that not everyone has the "sensitivity chip" that they should have (in my personal opinion). Our society does a good job of supporting self-centeredness and selfishness. I was just listening to an infertility friend gripe last night about going to see her family at a wedding a week ago and how painful it was because it seemed like so few people in her family were taking into consideration her feelings about her TTC struggles. It's really hard to have expectations of others and those expectations don't get met -- no matter what the scenario!

 

AFM: I had my egg retrieval yesterday. 23 retrieved, 15 mature, 14 fertilized. For a 40-year old, that's pretty good. Let's hope that there's at least a couple in the bunch that are genetically normal! It would really suck to know I'm an egg-making/embryo-fertilizing machine but with no real output...

 

Krista

post #46 of 184

So sorry, Wishin :(

post #47 of 184

Krista- Those are great numbers! I'm sending you lots of sticky baby dust from Portland!

 

Outdoorsy- Isn't that a great feeling to have a plan? Here's to hoping it goes off without a hitch.

 

Cananny- Doctors just don’t get it, do they? Does she not think that you’ve thought about that? Duh. I don’t like when people belittle others with stupid questions or suggestions. We all do it, but I try not to. I’m so sorry she was so insensitive to you. Keep your chin up, okay? I know a ton of big girls who have gotten pregnant just fine. My favorite professor got pregnant twice by accident and everyone told her she couldn’t get pregnant because of her weight. Her kids are completely healthy and she had healthy pregnancies.

 

Angela- You’ll have to let us know how your trip to Provincetown goes! I hear it’s like Mecca for Lesbians. My cousin lives near there with her wife and we keep talking about making a trip out there.

 

Easttowest- I say try as much as you can!

 

Pokey- the same thing happened to us in May. We took it off cause it just didn’t make any sense to try with all the traveling we were doing and the fact that we didn’t have any money. Man it sucked tho! There’s nothing more that we all want then to keep trying, huh? Makes me think about finding a silent partner sometimes! lol! j/k J

 

Hopeful- I’m so sorry about your BFN L When you do have a baby, though, and you will!, let’s take our babies to the Ducks games together. We are big Ducks fans too. 

 

AFM- It was almost impossible to focus at work today. By the grace of sweet baby jesus I got through it, though! On the way home I called almost everyone I could think of who might understand and be able to comfort me, but no one was answering. As a last resort, I called the EAP that is available through my insurance and got a referral to a therapist in town. Usually I can breathe through this type of thing and just cry and get it out. This time it's been different. This time I can't seem to calm down about it. I'm so tense and anxious and angry and just so, so sad. I hate my family so bad....

post #48 of 184

Ok I am still pretty fresh here so I feel odd jumping in on personals so soon.

 

Except for wishin', I am really sorry about your BFN greensad.gif

 

AFM: I really don't know what I should be feeling on DPO 10. I have never been preggers before so I don't know what early signs my body might throw at me. My boobies are

very tender since DPO 5, and I feel hungry and tired  A LOT. But this could be in my head completely! I mostly just try to not think about it until I test on Monday, which should be

DPO 13. I should know by then right?? My luteal phase is usually 14 or 15 days. I don't feel that different really. If this first time with my DP and me does not work, I think we should

go to an RE, even thought our OB said try 6 times at home a piece...that is a crazy amount of money for us with frozen sperm!! I just don't want to waste the vials we have if we have

a better chance doing IUI. Any opinions? More luck at home or at the RE for you guys?

 

Night! sleepytime.gif

post #49 of 184

Erin, often OBGYNs forget how much sperm costs.  TCOYF says 4 tries (through "conventional" methods) of really well timed rounds should be enough to get pregnant.  We're gonna start IUIs and go through a clinic, but we did a whole year of at home insems with BFNs, so we are upping the ante...

 

Wishin, awwwwww f***.  POOPY.

 

Carmen, embryo likes the sun???  Maybe???  Maybe it's SO HAPPY THAT SUMMER is finally here it's doing a jig and that's why you're so uncomfortable??  ;)

 

Krista, Those are great numbers!!  I hope you get enough great, healthy, genetically normal embryos that divide well and grow and are ready to be implanted/frozen!!!!  

 

Soto: Your sister is a douche.  So incredibly rude and disrespectful.  :(  I hope talking to someone helps.

 

AFU: DW is going for a hysteroscopy on Tuesday (it's not an HSG).  Her HSG looked good, but they saw a "notch" on her uterine wall, but it filled nicely with the dye, so they're not worried about it.  Fallopian tubes are nice and open, but they did see a fibroid, hence the hysteroscopy where they will stick a camera into her uterus and have a looky-loo at this fibroid of hers and make sure that we're not dumping $700 worth of sperm into a uterus that is unhappy with trying to be pregnant (RE is not concerned at ALL, however).  We rebooked our donor sperm orientation to next week too (don't know if I mentioned that?).  If all looks well we're gonna go for broke and order a couple of vials for August.  So, in a couple of weeks we actually get to move our position on the front page, which has been firmly planted in the "waiting to be ready" for so long we've been moved down the list quite far already!!  Yikes!  

post #50 of 184
Using my phone so may look funny when I post:

Darth: thanks for your input! My OB is pretty reasonable and just wants to let us try at home if we want so I think if we asked, we could see an RE. Wow! A whole year at home?! Did you use KD or frozen?

Good luck on your testing coming up!
post #51 of 184

I'm back!!  Going in to the clinic for my baseline ultrasound in one hour!  Then insems will be tomorrow (Sat) and Sunday.

 

Our move went fine-- we are just a couple days shy of a month in OUR house.  It needs so much cosmetic work, but we're enjoying it any way.  No reason to not go forward with our insems this month.  I also started a new job on Monday, in a new field for me, but something that is much more lucrative than my previous job.  The only concern is making sure my health insurance coverage doesn't lapse, so I may end up doing Cobra for 2 months.

 

Haven't caught up yet on everyone's news, but I did see Wishin's update....  I'm SO sorry!!  :-(   I know how those feel, and we were all wishin and hopin for you, too.  Stay strong, Sweets!
 

post #52 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by erinTNgirl View Post

If this first time with my DP and me does not work, I think we should go to an RE, even thought our OB said try 6 times at home a piece...that is a crazy amount of money for us with frozen sperm!! I just don't want to waste the vials we have if we have a better chance doing IUI. Any opinions? More luck at home or at the RE for you guys?

 

Night! sleepytime.gif

 

Threadcrashing... We consulted with a (lesbian!) RE at a fertility clinic open house, before we got started. She also advised us to try at home six times, noting that she would essentially start by doing the same thing we could do at home, only it would cost $500 more a month and our insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments. That said, I wanted to do everything we could to increase our DIY odds, so we did home IUI starting with our second try (which was HORRIBLY timed - about 10 days before I eventually ovulated; it was a screwy cycle). We switched donors on our third try (donor #1 had sold out). Our fourth try is about to turn 1, and is almost walking! Conversely, we have good friends who started at the RE; after trying on and off for about a year with one of them, they switched to her partner and stuck with the RE. A few months ago, exhausted of the medical roller coaster (partner had done several unsuccessful cycles at the RE), they called us for advice and instructions on how to DIY it, and are about to have their second try at home. For them, at first, they wanted to leave it in the hands of experts. Now, it feels right to them to be totally in charge and tuned in to her cycles. Bottom line, if you are good at pinpointing your ovulation, I don't think statistically your odds are dramatically better one way or another if you're using frozen (fresh is another story). I would personally go with what makes you feel more secure and empowered, because that's good for your mental health and for preventing total frustration - both good things when TTC! Good luck picking the right path for you!
post #53 of 184

Thanks Amy!! We always wanted to try at home anyway for multiple reasons: cheaper, easier than driving an hour to the nearest RE, ability to use our timing.

The only setback we had was using the speculum and finding the right catheter. I tried to do IUI with my DP, but I hurt her with the speculum and the catheter

was not long enough shake.gif It turned out to be a disaster plus the timing was several hours off for frozen sperm!

 

When it was my turn, she did not want to use the speculum (we still do not have a catheter). So we basically did an ICI or I guess more like IVI (is that even a

term?) The timing though was EPIC (at least we think so)! So if it does not work with me, it will only be bc my body hates me...DPO 10 today.

 

Could anyone give me any pointers on IUI at home? If I even hint at the speculum again, I think my DP will fall over!

post #54 of 184

There is so much exciting stuff going on here and I will respond to y'all later but I wanted to answer some of erin's questions first.

 

The catheter people use often is called a tomcat catheter.  They can be ordered online.  My midwife said that the one she's been using for the last 12 years is suddenly no longer available so she had to get a slightly different kind, but it worked just fine.  As for the speculum, have you tried inserting it yourself?  It may be more comfortable than having the other person do it.  It just takes practice.  You can practice by checking for cervical position before you O.  The cervix will be high open and pink when you are fertile.  You can't use regular lube with insemination, but you could use something like Preseed which is sperm friendly.  The speculum is essential if you want to do IUI.  Without it you won't be able to see the cervix, and you aren't supposed to touch the catheter to the sides of the vagina, so you need to have some space.  Did you order ICI or IUI ready sperm?  If IUI is too difficult, maybe you could order ICI ready if it's available for your donor.  Lots of folks have gotten pregnant doing it themselves at home, and you seem young and healthy, so unless you have some concerns that there might be a problem you could probably keep trying at home.  Take it one month at a time.  If you feel differently in the future, you can always step up the professional help.  And your body doesn't hate you.  Even if you do everything perfectly, sometimes you don't get pregnant.  Take it easy on yourself.  Fingers crossed for you!

 

 soto -- I really am sorry you have to deal with a difficult family.  It's not fair, but I'm glad you are taking steps to take care of yourself and improve your own mental health. We saw the social worker at my RE's office recently.  It wasn't like regular therapy I'm used to but it gave us some things to think about.  I hope your new therapist and relationships class are very helpful.

 

wishin' - I'm very sorry about the BFN.  Are your plans changing at all for next time?

 

Krista - It sounds like the retrieval went great!  That is very promising news.  I hope you have some very healthy embies to use in the future.

 

Tuna - I hope the test goes well and that your name gets moved up the board soon!

 

lovestreet - Very exciting!  I hope the insems go well!

post #55 of 184

Ultrasound this morning was... Disappointing.  Lining was at 5b, which the RN said was fine.  My largest follicle was 17 and the next couple largest were 13.  So they want me to come in again tomorrow and have another ultrasound (because those are free, right? orngtongue.gif) and see if things have improved.  Then I'll do my trigger shot tomorrow, and insem on Sun and Mon.

So, all in all, not terrible, but not terribly promising, either.  I hope things look better tomorrow !
 

post #56 of 184

Wishin -- that really sucks about the BFN. I'm so sorry to hear about it.

 

Krista - 14 fertilized eggs sounds great! I hope you've got plenty of good ones in there. I'm so excited for you, after the heartbreaks you've had, to be making some beautiful progress. Yay!

 

Soto - Sorry to hear how awful your family has been lately. It sounds like you're doing the right things, though, with the class and the EAP referral.

 

Erin - The choice about whether to go to an RE now or (if necessary) later is a choice you have to make with your insurance in mind. If you have infertility coverage but no known impediments to fertility, then your insurance probably requires you to have a certain number of IUIs before other interventions are covered. The positive side of the RE (and believe me, I went to great lengths to try not to medicalize it, but have now landed at the RE) is that they can do more to pinpoint your cycle, and timing is so critical. My midwife, for example, doesn't offer ultrasound, and now I'm getting that at the RE. The downside is that even if you're covered, the RE's rate for IUI may be higher, so if you pay a percentage, you may pay more.

 

Lovestreet - Good luck with the insems!

post #57 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

The catheter people use often is called a tomcat catheter.  They can be ordered online.  My midwife said that the one she's been using for the last 12 years is suddenly no longer available so she had to get a slightly different kind, but it worked just fine.  As for the speculum, have you tried inserting it yourself?  It may be more comfortable than having the other person do it.  It just takes practice.  You can practice by checking for cervical position before you O.  The cervix will be high open and pink when you are fertile.  You can't use regular lube with insemination, but you could use something like Preseed which is sperm friendly.  The speculum is essential if you want to do IUI.  Without it you won't be able to see the cervix, and you aren't supposed to touch the catheter to the sides of the vagina, so you need to have some space.  Did you order ICI or IUI ready sperm?  If IUI is too difficult, maybe you could order ICI ready if it's available for your donor.  Lots of folks have gotten pregnant doing it themselves at home, and you seem young and healthy, so unless you have some concerns that there might be a problem you could probably keep trying at home.  Take it one month at a time.  If you feel differently in the future, you can always step up the professional help.  And your body doesn't hate you.  Even if you do everything perfectly, sometimes you don't get pregnant.  Take it easy on yourself.  Fingers crossed for you!

 

Exactly what Pokey said; every last word! Get the speculum in yourself, and even use a mirror and flashlight to check things out. Actually seeing your cervix and tracking its changes gives you SO much key info if you're pinpointing timing yourself. For the months we were trying, this was my pre-bedtime ritual. I was a speculum pro (too bad that's not an olympic sport!) within the week. PM me if you have other IUI specific questions.
post #58 of 184

pokey: Unfortunately, I had to use the donor's IUI sperm bc it is all the bank had available. That kinda sucks cause it is more

expensive, too. Thanks for the encouragement! It is much needed, since I hounded my DP on her TWW, I told her I now know how

it feels! So she is avoiding the subject until we test, except the usual daily question: do you feel pregnant?? ugh God love her!

I guess I got some practicin' to do after this cycle if I get a BFN, getting to know my cervix mono y mono! And I gotta research

an online catheter I suppose.

 

lovestreet: Good luck!

 

outdoorsy: I know my insurance is sucky, so I would have to pay it all out of pocket. Thanks for the extra info about the ultrasound, too.

Hopefully, my OB will do those and be covered.

 

AFM: Day 10 is extremely uneventful to say the least. Blah

post #59 of 184

Thanks Amy! I think I will have to PM you for beginner's questions!

post #60 of 184

From the TTC Rollercoaster Dept.: Bloodwork back. Prolactin normal. Progesterone way too low. And I don't really have any of the classic contributing factors --- except maybe the stress of long-term TTC! Why the hell couldn't my midwife's office have picked up on this?

 

I read that high estrogen can make progesterone drop. Doesn't Clomid raise estrogen? Could these be related?

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