I'm really struggling today, overwhelmed with most of my life and really questioning whether I should have had three kids. I realize it is a bit late for that and while I love my children, I really wonder if I should have been a mom at all, let alone their mom.
My oldest was just diagnosed with ADHD - as in Monday this week. Okay, fine, what does that mean?! Luckily our parenting techniques that we fell into quite naturally are actually the things we should be doing. But perspective hasn't changed. I still feel like my parenting sucks and nothing I do has any impact, even though I've been told to look at the looooooong term effects of my parenting.
My second is very, very, very energetic - as in can bike/run/walk a mile then go play on the playground without stopping, pop out of bed wide awake and only crashes to sleep, never drifts.
My third is five months old and full of frustration. He wants to stand all day - sorry, can't hold you up to stand all day, kid, Mama has other things to do. Hates to be on the floor most of the time because he can't see what is going on (or what he wants to see, I guess). Struggles with being worn because he isn't 'doing' anything.
I've got three screaming, crying, whining, fighting, impulsive, energetic, making-me-crazy kids to deal with by myself for at least ten hours five days a week. There isn't any help outside of evenings/weekends because we just moved across the country from everyone we know four months ago. I don't know anyone here well enough to ask for babysitting and there isn't a lot of money in the budget anyway because we just moved across the country.
Hardly anyone sleeps long enough, so cranky from the get go and we eat a ton of sandwiches, which I don't feel is very healthy and is apparently not very filling, even when eaten with fruit and veggies ("I'm hungry" is frequently heard before a kid even leaves the table having finished a meal).
I'm overwhelmed, by everything really. I've asked for help/suggestions on 'regular' parenting boards for years and have gotten nothing useful. Now I guess I have the beginnings of an answer to that (ADHD) but really, life is reaching critical overload. Mama has no patience, no energy, and spends most of the day frustrated, angry and on the verge of tears. I've even been thinking that it would be easier to formula feed vs. breastfeeding, work instead of stay-home, etc. Change my whole way of life because I think the grass is greener on the other side. I realize it's not but it is still very tempting.
I have no idea what I want from other posters, or if I even 'want' anything - I just need to get it OUT!