My 11 yr old wants to change her name - Page 2

[sleepingbeauty]

I hated my name when I was little.  Now I like it.  I usually go by Kris for most people once we're closer but I introduce myself as Kristin.

I just wish everyone would realize that it is Kristin with 2 i's, not "Kristen" with an "e". -_-*

[rainface]

I was one of those 5 or 6 Jessica's! And I hated it. I fought it but now I just answer to whatever My husband typically calls me by my last name and I get called Jess, Jessie, and mistakenly Jennifer often... A friend of mine from high school and I have both had baby girls in the last year. Her name was commonly mispronounced, but lovely and unusual. I never knew she hated it. I gave my daughter an unusual name, she gave her daughter a very popular name that everyone knows so it will never be mispronounced. It's funny how our experiences shape what we try for for our own kids.

[MrsGregory]

I have an uncommon name, my husband has a downright unique name, and we gave our daughter a name that no one we've met so far has ever heard of before, but most people find very pretty.  (My MIL didn't care for it.  Ask me about that sometime.  )  We have two more name picked out for futures, also unusual.  We'll be a family full of odd names, and that's OK with us.  Although both my husband and I dislike having a weird name, as adults, we admit it has served us in several ways, and we'll do the same to for our children.

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by steph 

My daughter just turned 11 and has for the past 6 months been wanting to change her name.  We got her middle school class list for next year today and she saw that I hadn't changed her name as she requested and is upset with me.  What do you think about kids changing their names (in this case it's a random choice, not like using a middle name, just a different first name altogether)?  It seems confusing and honestly silly to me, but she's really wanting to go by this new name (I think it's the name of a character from a show she's watched or a book she's read).  A couple of her friends have already told me that they won't call her by it and will continue to call her by her real name.  Thoughts, ideas, opinions?  Thanks!

I would tell her that I would call her her by her chosen name but could not force other people to do so and would have to use her legal name on paperwork with the school or whatever. She can personally tell her teacher or classmates the name she prefers they use but they may or may not use it.

If she continues to be seriously interested in changing her name legally I would find out the procedure for where you live and explain the whole process and that you want her to wait until she is no longer a minor.  http://www.livestrong.com/article/224765-how-can-i-legally-have-my-daughters-name-changed/

I did know someone in high school who had changed their first name legally when they were adopted by their step-parent. I do not know his reasons or what his former first name was as it had been a few years prior to the time that I met him. His new first name was a fairly common name.

[RitesForGirls]

Your name is a really important part of who you are.  Wanting to have choice over her name is a significant step for your daughter to take.

It could be an important part of her growing up, determining who she wants to be, making her own choices in life, and becoming her-self.

It could equally well be a phase that she passes through, like changing hair colour or dress style.  It is quite a common wish.

I would support her - and not take it personally - and see how committed she is to it.  Time will tell.

If it is really important to her, she will make sure that friends and family and teachers remember.  If it is not so important she will not have the impetus to insist and she will revert back to her old name.

Commit to remembering to call her by her new name as a sign of your respect for her emerging self.  Check in with her after a week to see how she is finding her new name fits her.

She is still the same person, your daughter, but she is experimenting with who she is in the world - great - perfect - that's what growing tweens and teens are designed to do! 

[harrietsmama]

I was a Heather, in the time of Heathers.  I actually didn't mind it by then, but I can remember wanting to be Debra when I was in Kindergarten.  I named my dd Harriet.  Something different but recognizable and she sure makes it cute!!! However I do recognize that not everyone likes odd names and if she chooses to change it at some point I figure it's hers to change.  She is 12 and so far she has never mentioned anything one way or another.   My son is Crispin and I really hope he never shortens it.  But if he does he does...
 

[beanma]

Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat 

I would tell her that I would call her her by her chosen name but could not force other people to do so and would have to use her legal name on paperwork with the school or whatever. She can personally tell her teacher or classmates the name she prefers they use but they may or may not use it.

 What onlyzombiecat said!