EC regrestion

[CrystalE]

my son is 19 months old. We have been doing EC with him since he was born. Around 12 or 13 months we all had it down to the point we got ride of diapers altogether. Normally we still have a miss maybe once a day. For some own known reason things seems to be moving backwards lately and it is fustrating for everyone. We having 4 or 5 misses a day sometimes and he is almost always going to his play room to pee on the floor. He even comes out afterward and lets us know that he just peed in there so we will clean it up. He comes out and says "Ah ah ah" and points to his room. In fact he just did while I am writing this. My husband has resorted to bribing him with chocolate when he goes in the potty and getting upset with him when he misses ( a road I really really don't want to go down).

A few things I have noticed. One I am newly pregnant about 8 weeks. With that came a drop in milk supply which has lead to some rather long restless nights. Plus I have very bad morning (all day all week) sickness this time around and have not had the energy to be as active with him as I normally am. So I am sure he notices something has changed.

Also we are having on and off again days were he barely goes pee at all and I worry he is dehydrated. I think it is do to playing outside in the sun and not drinking enough as he prefers to nurse over drinking water.

I just recently tried putting a potty in his playroom to see if he will use that instead of the floor but that has not happened. He has never really gone to the potty by himself anyway. The other idea we had but have not tried yet is to have him wear underwear since he doesn't like the feeling of wet pants maybe he will not pee in them?

Any thoughts or suggestions are very much welcomed.

Thanks

Crystal

[skycheattraffic]

I'm not as much of a veteran ECer but wanted to commiserate and offer ideas. My DD is 15 months old and we started EC much later (11 months) but we have gone through a couple of regression cycles. Now we are still in diapers since a good day is 4 or 5 catches and lots of misses but my strategy has been to give her a break for a day or even half a day before putting her on again. I'm not sure if that would work or if it would be feasible for you but if you could find a way to take a short break from the potty (maybe let him run around naked outside if you have a fenced back yard) it might defuse the potty situation so he'a more willing to go back to it in a matter of fact way. I honestly get better results with DD if I just plunk her on, entertain her so she will stay on and relax and don't make a huge deal about whether she uses it. I've been trying to steer away from praise "good girl, peeing on the potty" to just being pleased "you peed in the potty. It's so nice to have a clean, dry diaper because you used the potty". She is starting to want things her way so the more I make it about her and less about my reaction (other things too, not just the potty), the better the results.

My DD has setbacks with teething, major milestones, and routine disruptions. I think absolutely that the changes are affecting him and would try to somehow offset them a bit. If for instance you can take him to a park with DH, a grandparent or a friend then maybe he could get some activity and you could take a less physical role in supervising him until you feel better. Anything you can do to improve how much rest you both are getting should also help. Maybe he would nap in the stroller if DH took him for a walk while you rested at home. Just some thoughts; at our house if dd isn't well rested, everything suffers.

Is he into imitation? DD sees me drink lots of water and she drinks lots too. She grudgingly accepts a sippy cup of water in the stroller but if she sees me drinking, she HAS to drink out of my cup. I wonder if your DS would be more into drinking water if it was your water out of a grownup cup/bottle.

I think your idea to put undies on is certainly worth a try. I've read that just pants/shorts without anything under them works for some kids who don't like the feeling of pee running down their legs. Since you've done so much amazing EC already, I don't think your DS needs or would do well with bribery. I think he is adjusting to a new routine or going through a short phase. I would just maintain consistency and offer opportunities unless he resists intensely.

I hope I've made some sense and you find something useful in my post. Good luck! I hope you'll post updates on how things go. :-)

[flyrabbitfly]

My DS is a little over 2 now, and we considered him a grad about 18 mo. Then about 19 mo, suddenly he would just start peeing, like, while sitting on the counter or something! I was sure he had a UTI and I had him checked (amazed MD with clean catch without a catheter) and he didn't have a UTI. Someone told me (my sis?) that around that age, they just realize it is something they can CONTROL, as in HOLD it, or NOT, and they do some experiments with just how long can they hold it, and if they are not being allowed to control much else, they will use this new control that is so uniquely his (you can't MAKE him go potty! only he can!) as a tool for autonomy. My advice, play lots of power games unrelated to the potty. Support his choices in an as many ways as possible. Let him be powerful. Let him enjoy some self-governance. Don't worry about the pee misses right now, fussing about it just makes it a battle over his autonomy, which developmentally, he MUST fight for his autonomy, so don't make that the battle! Be playful when there is a miss, let the Teddy or Robot or whatever help clean up, have fun talks about it.

We just didn't worry about it, tried very hard not to be disappointed or show that with the misses, and if he started to dribble, we'd grab the nearest  stuffed animal and say, "I think Teddy really needs to pee now! Will you help him?" And that almost always did the trick.  We've sort of ended up in the habit of reminding him a little more often than we were, but actually I don' t think many 2 years old potty trained traditionally go all day without being reminded a few times either. There are "habit" times that help also, like any time we leave the house, "It's always a good idea to go before we leave" and before nap time or bed time.

The silver lining is, this means he's probably aware of his ability to control his pottying. You're right there, almost there, so close. One step back and then two steps forward and you're done. Just don't get caught in the mistake of fighting over that one step back- then everyone falls down and you end up with a 3 year old still peeing in his pants, just because he can.

[Carlyle]

I totally agree with everything flyrabbitfly said.  For my dd2, I attempted to totally back off and stop asking if she needed to go (unless it had been HOURS, and even then I would only ask once and if she said "no" I didn't ask again...I might go myself or something but that was it) when she got to that independent streak at about 18 months.  I think it's absolutely crucial to not have bad reactions (or any reactions really, beyond "oh you peed, I bet that feels a lot better now!") when they're going through this phase--since they're all about autonomy.  Good luck, it's hard to do (especially if you can tell they need to go).  Use diapers as a backup if it helps you feel less nervous!