Does anyone regret NOT circumcising? *this is NOT a pro circ thread, just curious about the... - Page 3

[Monkeygrrl]

Originally Posted by HealthyHappyMom 

We use "my gentle baby aromatherapy care" that we buy from our practitioner.  It contains baby-friendly essential oils.  The container comes with a dropper top, so you can place a few drops on the head of his penis, no retracting necessary.

Originally Posted by MichelleZB 

That's cool, although I do want to assure our OP, who already seems skittish about intact care, that this is NOT necessary. Just regular baths work fine.

 

I have never used any sort of special oils/creams/lotions/potions/etc on either one of my boys' penii. As infants, I would wash their whole body, running the soap/rag over their penis just like I did their butt. As children, I taught them to run the soap/rag over their whole body. I have talked about them retracting and rinsing with water (no soap, ever), and how they will need to do that when they are older and able to retract themselves. But it's really not an issue, and they are perfectly fine.

[ma2two]

Originally Posted by MichelleZB 

Just regular baths work fine.

And even those aren't usually necessary. It's amazing how little bathing babies and young children really need (unless they're out playing in mud).

[To-Fu]

Originally Posted by MichelleZB 

That's cool, although I do want to assure our OP, who already seems skittish about intact care, that this is NOT necessary. Just regular baths work fine.

Yep, and just good old water. 

[tiqa]

To respond strictly to the original question, no, I have never regretted keeping our son intact.  He has never had any issues with his foreskin.  It's a total non-issue.  We don't clean it specifically.  We don't retract it.  We don't oil it.  It's not dirty.  Honestly I haven't given it three minutes of thought in his life.

I also don't regret not circumsizing our daughter.

[Tinijocaro]

I have two intact sons, 13 and 17 years old.  Other than minor irritations when they were in diapers (same as my two daughters, who had flaming red irritations at times), my boys have had no infections, or other horrible issues.

I can say with certainty that both boys are enjoying all their parts with enthusiasm.  Don't ask.  Just a reminder, always knock when a door is closed.  The great thing is, no tubs of lotion or vaseline needed with an intact boy.  Built in lube.  

[Emma Bryan Fuller]

I grew up in a non circ country. Until spending time in the States I thought only Jewish people circed. I also thought it was a small snip, no big deal. My boys are 9 and 10. I have never talked about retraction with them or given them cleaning instructions. It's not even a topic of conversation, ever in a non circ country.There really are NO conversations about how to take care of a penis! The only thing I ever remember was, in a diaper change watch out for spraying pee!!  that.is.it!  I remember in the hospital(US) being asked he was being cut. I was confused and thought, well, if he is to be American maybe we should. Our Dr. here is Dutch. he assumes I am American. When he gave the boys a health check he almost hugged me for keeping them whole..lol 

I wonder why it done within days of birth, before a baby even gets mommas milk, usually. Never got that. Surely it would be better to do a procedure(non emergency, cosmetic) at 5 years when the child can be under anesthestic and the child is known to be healthy. Just wondering how this became the norm. Pinning a childs ears back is cosmetic and nothing compared to cutting BUT i can't imagine it being done to a 2 day old.

I applaud all you Moms who go against generations and break the cycle.

[GoBecGo]

I'm in the UK.  I know 2 circ'd men.  My father was circ'd as a child after the dr told his mother to retract and clean him thoroughly and daily from birth.  The scarring became so bad he could no longer pee and they had to circ him (in the late 1940's).  He was very young and doesn't know what he's missing, he doesn't regret that it was done, but he bears visible scars still, even with the worst scarred area removed, so he knows there was no choice.  He did NOT seek circ for his sons and he did NOT retract his own sons to clean!  My friend's husband developed buried penis and severe, persistent phimosis due to obesity.  They tried numerous things over 3 years and did two buttonhole procedures but the problem persisted and eventually they had to circ.  He hates it, she hates it, they have had serious problems with intimacy since (it was nearly a decade ago).

I've *ahem* been around the block.  Here in the UK most guys are intact.  All the guys i've been with were intact.  None of them had any problems or regretted it.  When you live somewhere like here, where it is normal, it takes some mind-bending to get your head around the idea that it could be seen as otherwise.  As someone said above, mothers here don't talk about how to care for an intact penis, you care for it like you care for a surgically-unaltered vulva i.e. it takes care of itself.  A friend's little boy has had slight infections in his penis.  Both times he had a swollen and red glans (covered with the foreskin still as he couldn't yet retract) and some pus at the opening.  Both times she took him to the GP.  Both times the GP prescribed an antibiotic cream.  Both times her son refused to let her put it on him.  Both times it healed up fine without any treatment.  No one EVER suggested circumcision, or even a referral to a urologist.  The GP treated it as he might have a mildly infected cuticle or spot.  Here's some cream, it'll probably go on it's own though.  The GP said maybe it's the foreskin loosening off and a bit irritated, maybe he pulled at it and hurt himself a tiny bit, maybe the new bubblebath irritated it, maybe maybe maybe, it'll heal, no need to worry.  He is now much older and his penis, and foreskin, are perfect.

Really the belief that it's a big deal is the big deal here.  If you have a son just wait, leave it be and wait, and you will see, it's no big deal.  For a massive part of the world it's the unquestioned normal.

[RachaelM]

Just for a different perspective for you, here in the UK routine circumcision is not done, just...not at all. When I went to the states and did my doula training I was shocked to find that if the mother had a big and did not want to circ that I should follow the baby to ensure they do not 'accidentally' do it anyway. I was just...speechless. 

Anyway, my point here is that I do not know ONE man that is circumcised here. Not a single freaking one. Now it's not like I've seen a lot of penises or anything  but it's so uncommon here that we would know about it, especially in school when no one has any secrets!

So...the UK is not filled with men that have smelly, unhealthy, dirty foreskins that should have been chopped off in their childhood. 

And neither is the rest of the world. 

It's utter nonsense.

**Edited to say: I see a lot of non US people have chipped in too. See....it's really no big deal!**

[tinyblackdot]

I think the non circ of the uk is what pushed DH over to my view. We are very confident in not circ at this point IF it is a boy! Than you to all of the helpful patient information!

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by tinyblackdot 

I think the non circ of the uk is what pushed DH over to my view. We are very confident in not circ at this point IF it is a boy! Than you to all of the helpful patient information!

 Whatever it takes!  Glad things have calmed down & you don't have this to concern you any longer.  I now hope that the baby is a boy!  We need more intact ones ;-).

Best wishes,

Sus

[utandy]

No regrets here DS is 20 and fine being intact. I don't see a need to regret something that could still be done if the penis owner wants it done. Save your regret for something that can't be undone.

[hlg1212]

I have 3 intact sons, and none has ever had an issue at all, not even anything minor.  I will give my perspective on intact men in the U.S. who do "need" to be circumcised later in life- most of them did not need it.  It was the ignorance of American doctors in that they were not aware of less invasive treatments.  My husband is an M.D. and had an adult man with phimosis recently.  The urologist had already recommended circumcision, but my husband asked the patient if he did not want to try steroid cream first because it is 85% effective.  The patient said that he would definitely rather try that, and it did work.  The urologist found my husband later and joked with him about losing money on that one.  In his case, he was just trying to make some easy money, but some are just "innocently" ignorant as well.  I have European relatives who were shocked to learn of our circumcision rates here, and they all said that there are no problems.  Our culture in the U.S. seems to have created most of the issues.  I think that is why you do see posts about problems when they do occur because parents are just trying to get an educated answer.  Parents of intact kids are the experts on these topics in the U.S.

[HouseofPeace]

My husband was pro-circ, but changed his mind when I was 7 months along.  I was anti-circ, but not strong enough to fight on it (and i didn't know gender) and we have never regretted it even though i ignored all the medical recommendations to retract and clean it daily.  I was of the school that I have more complicated parts than a flap of skin, and i don't retract and soap daily.... it's probably not that hard.  So, no, we've never had a single problems with it, and don't regret it.

I've had 2 friends have to get their sons RE-CIRCUMCISED b/c the original surgery didn't work. These are actually 2 close friends.  While non of my non-circumcising friends have had UTI's, or any other complications.  I do think you seem more of the world of people coming here for advice b/c they can.  And circumcision is not a guarantee of no infection or problems!  As my poor friends have had to deal with.  They were more scared of not doing the procedure.  I don't think they regretted their choice.  

[canadianhippie]

I have never regretted it, I knew i wouldn't be doing it and the bio dad wasn't himself and he agreed too. 

My DP isnt snipped now, and neither will any of my boys.

Never had an issue with our little guy, DP knows the ins and outs so he can teach the boys when their older

My trick for getting other people to become anti-circ is call them a penis mutilator and get them to sit through a circumcision video. (Well, depends if you know them well...worked on my bro and SIL! pro-circ to anti with a few emailed video links) 

[*MamaJen*]

My 4.5 year old son is intact, and we've never had any problems.

I'm about to be engaged, and my almost-fiance and I had a conversation, oh, more than a year ago about how we wouldn't circ future sons, so that's all good.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

I have removed a couple of posts from this thread.  The forum is called The Case Against Circumcision and we do not host posts on the benefits of circ.  I've also removed any posts that quoted the posts that were in support of circ.  Thanks!

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow 

I have removed a couple of posts from this thread.  The forum is called The Case Against Circumcision and we do not host posts on the benefits of circ.  I've also removed any posts that quoted the posts that were in support of circ.  Thanks!

bummer.  I thought I had good come backs for it all.  But, I understand why you did.

Sus

[htovjm]

Originally Posted by QueenOfTheMeadow 

I have removed a couple of posts from this thread.  The forum is called The Case Against Circumcision and we do not host posts on the benefits of circ.  I've also removed any posts that quoted the posts that were in support of circ.  Thanks!

OP asked if anyone hadn't circumcised there child and regretted it. I gave a situation where this turned out to be the case; it was a cousin, not just a story I've heard. I discussed more about my own experience with circumcising my son. After understanding the guidelines, I understand why this was removed from this particular forum. I suggest if OP wants to get a balanced perspective, she should post where both sides are allowed to discuss. Please take this as I mean it...not being harsh; not here to debate!

[htovjm]

Originally Posted by mama24-7 

bummer.  I thought I had good come backs for it all.  But, I understand why you did.

Sus

Were you responding to me? You can PM if you'd like. I'm curious!

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by makaleka87 

OP asked if anyone hadn't circumcised there child and regretted it. I gave a situation where this turned out to be the case; it was a cousin, not just a story I've heard. I discussed more about my own experience with circumcising my son. After understanding the guidelines, I understand why this was removed from this particular forum. I suggest if OP wants to get a balanced perspective, she should post where both sides are allowed to discuss. Please take this as I mean it...not being harsh; not here to debate!

makaleka87...

I have to wonder if you would be suggesting the OP get a "balanced" opinion if she were talking about circ'ing her daughter?

Originally Posted by makaleka87 

Were you responding to me? You can PM if you'd like. I'm curious!

No, I wasn't this time.  I did though to the post that was deleted.  My comments on what you said to that post are below, w/ what you had said in the deleted post omitted (I got permission for this from QOTM).  Since your post is no longer here, I will PM you what you said w/ my comments if that would help you to understand what I've said better.

Sus

See, the way you've presented this here, it's a parenting decision.  But it is not.  The only rightful person to make a decision about cosmetic alteration w/o medical need of THEIR OWN BODY is that person.  Society, pro-circ doctors (usually the ones who make money off of it), circ'd men, etc., etc,. etc., will agree with you.  However, your son may not.  And he is the one who will have to live w/ the fact that a decision was made for him that did NOT need to be made.  

Switch out son in your post for daughter.  Do you feel that you had to make a decision for your daughter (if you have one or when you didn't know whether you were having a son or daughter)?  Why would someone need to make this decision for their son but not their daughter?

You liken it to vax'ing.  I would say that even vax'ing is a decision that can wait.  Yes, it may prevent illness (which circ'ing does not).  However, just like circ, vax can be done later.  

You said you're not here to debate & I'm not here to attack people which I hope you don't take it as such.  HOwever, this IS the case AGAINST circumcision, so I am going to disagree w/ what you've posted for the benefit of those who come after you.  

Just because your son did not *appear* to suffer during the procedure, does not mean that he won't suffer later.  The foreskin has a purpose for both your son & his sexual partners.  (here's info on the purpose & function of the foreskin.  Please educate yourself:http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/video/prepuce.html)  Neither of them will have the normal experience of sex, ever.  Just because he didn't feel pain isn't going to prevent his glans for keritinzing (sp?) & becoming dulled from constant friction w/ clothing (it's meant to be an internal organ, similar to how the eye is internal).  Just because he didn't feel pain doesn't mean the "doctor" didn't cut off more skin than he will need to grow into (the penis continues to grow & develop until puberty or later).  Just because he didn't feel pain doesn't mean his urethura (sp?) won't become irritated to the point that it closes up (becuase it's meant to stay inside the protective covering of the foreskin) & need surgical reopening.  I could go on, but I have to tend to my family right now.

I'm sorry that your son was circumcised.  I do hope you research this further and decide to leave any future children you have whole.  It's their body after all & they have a right to their WHOLE body.  

All the best,

Sus