July 2012 Infertility One Thread -- Let the Fireworks Ignite! - Page 7

[Vegan Princess]

SKJ: No problemo. LOL. :-) Glad all my obsessive reading and researching and my own trials and tribulations could help someone else out. 

Cindy

[SimplyRochelle]

I think I got everyone updated! 

[Milk8shake]

Sheesh, I really need to learn not to get sooooo behind!  *Deep breaths*  By the way, when did we get little "like" buttons on posts?  Is that new, or have I just not noticed it?!

 

SKJ2011: This is what I like to hear.  So pleased you have a helpful doctor!  I'm glad you didn't listen to other RE, right?  I'll be hoping for you.  Optimism is good

SimplyRochelle: Hahahahhaha.  You made me laugh Rochelle.  I hope you get your free(ish) baby this month, and I hope you have a refreshing and quick (sex free?!) TWW! 

 

shesaidboom: Oh the full bladder sh*t is the WORST.  I swear to Dog.  Every single pregnancy they tell me to have a full bladder for the scan, and I'm like really?  Because I know you are only going to end up doing an internal one anyway.  Then they insist that I MUST have a full bladder.  So I hold, and bust until I'm on the verge of tears (as if the ultrasound itself isn't stressful enough), and then they take me in and say: "empty your bladder, we need to do an internal scan".  Faaaarrrrrkkkkk!

Also, your blurb - !!!  I didn't realise we had so much in common, in terms of losses.  (What a sucky thing to share).  Sometimes I feel like I am the only person on the planet to have had 5 losses, and not have any living children.  I recently came across a lady on an Aussie message board who is about 28 weeks with a healthy babe after five losses, and it just made me feel so, I dunno... Not alone?  

 

Vegan Princess: I agree, Cindy you are a bit of a know-it-all... 

Monkey: Thanks for mentioning TAN.  I was already aware of them, I remember Molly (is that your friend?) from the loss boards.  I think she was around there when it was started, if I'm not mistaken.  On the whole, I'm not sure if that is the avenue that I want to go down though.  Doulas are almost unheard of here; I think a lot of the NP/UC stuff here is very underground, maybe that is why.  For example, I only know of one person who has had a homebirth.  Anyway, I appreciate you mentioning it!  

Sourire:  BBQ from hell, right?  I can't believe you lasted as long as you did.  That's a champion effort.  Did you end up going to your MILs? 

Deborah, thanks for posting those studies.  It looks as though they are only open to US participants, but it still interesting to know whats out there.  

SimplyRochelle, rcr, Tear78: Thanks guys!  I can't help but be a little bit giddy about the whole thing.  Rings... Ah yes....

I'm a little bit in love with this one, from Canturi.  Mind you, pretty sure it's like a 40k ring, so not gonna happen.  In truth, it's probably a bit bling for my look.  

This is a bit more like me, although maybe still a bit bling?  I designed this one, using an online ring builder... I really love the emerald cut.  

However, I never thought I would say it, but I'm having a real ethical dilemma over actually having a diamond.  I'm considering either

a) a different stone (maybe sapphire)  or b) fake diamond/diamond simulant/moissanite

The flip side of these two ideas is that they are both a hellavu lot cheaper, and although an E-ring is not something I want to "cheap out" on, I can't see the sense in spending a fortune.  I'd rather put it towards the honeymoon, for example...

What do you guys think - am I a crazy cheapskate?   

AFM:   Oh yeah, you thought that last bit was my AFM?  Nope!  Hahaha... I have more. 

Good news:  DP's sperm DNA fragmentation results were basically perfect.  He rated high, and very high, I think.  (Bastard!)

Bad news:  Still no progress on the domain name.  I thought I had found the perfect name, (tiny wings) but Google informs me that this is game app about a silly looking bird.  Darn it.  

News I haven't made my mind up about:  Friends of ours are pregnant.  They have an 18 month old, and their first pregnancy was really, really hard on me.  It was during probably my lowest point.  I knew they were trying again, and knew it was going to be hard on me when I found out that they were pregnant again.  I have been watching her like a hawk every time she refuses an alcoholic drink, for example.  I've been working myself up into a bit of a state just thinking about the possibility.  Then, on the weekend, out of the blue, she tells me she had a miscarriage in January (a chemical).  I had no idea, and neither did DP, and he is really close with her DH.  I asked her why she didn't tell me and she said it felt wrong because we have been through so much more.  Well, didn't I just feel like the worlds largest bitch?  Then she confessed that she was a week late, but was too scared to test.  She was meant to test today if she hadn't had AF, and I haven't heard, but I mean really?  Of course she is pregnant.  

I want to be happy, but it's so hard knowing that they will have two babies before I even have the chance to have one.  And it's not just her.  There are a number of women in my life (and even from the loss boards) who are now onto healthy baby number two, but here I still am.  (PS: Tear, if you are stalking/reading - I do not mean you.  I'm thrilled for you).  

Oh crap, there's more:  I thought that doing OPKs was supposed to be easier than that charting crap, so I'm giving it a go.  Got a + opk on Saturday night, fine.  Problem is, they are still super positive, and today is Wednesday.  What is going on?!?!!?

PS: I was going to update my blurb, and then realised that I don't have one... Rochelle, would you mind?  

Milk8shake (28) & DP (29)  TTC #1 since 04/09.  Battling endometriosis, a unicornuate uterus and unexplained RPL.  Five little ones, gone but not forgotten.  

Hoping for a lucky 2013 baby, with the help of some serious medical intervention.  

[SKJ2011]

I need to vent - So, I have a friend who's been TTC #2 along with me. She's older and got into see an RE back when I had my miscarriage. Her AMH was really low and he said that he wouldn't even do IVF on her. They did 1 round of clomid/IUI and that was it. I've been sharing my journey with her worrying about what comes next for her.

I just got an email from her telling me that the clomid + IUI did work and she's now 4 months pregnant. I feel so betrayed.

[BeagleSmuggler]

Hello I'm new,

I've read through much of the thread, but I know I'm going to need to ask questions later about acronyms (is there a glossary?)

I'm 33, DH is 37. Initially tried for older child special need adoption. The process was taking a long time so we started trying biologically in October 2011. Diagnosed anovulatory in April 2012, tests, tests, test, given borderline PCOS diagnosis May 2012. Started Metphormine June 2012. Started first round of Clomid 100 mg July 2012. 

I'm currently on Day 28 of my cycle. Was getting really hopeful about possible pregnancy since there is no sign of AF, and 29 days is typically the longest my cycle has ever been and I've had extremely regular cycles for over 10 years. Just learning that Clomid can extend cycles and it's possible - maybe even common - to have to have a period induced on the first cycle of Clomid. 

Reading through all of these stories I realize this is so much less than most of you have been through. I'm so frustrated that my doctor didn't tell me that my cycle might be screwed up because of Clomid. That a late period may not be good news. 

I thought I had gotten to a point where it was fairly simple the Clomid would either make me ovulate, or it wouldn't. If it didn't make me ovulate it would be the same as every other month and I'd get AF, and if it did and I didn't conceive then it would be the same as any other month and I'd get AF... but now I'm learning that a missing AF may not be a strong indication of a BFP at all. I'm frustrated that this information is so hard to find. 

Thank you for sharing your journeys, they are giving me lots of perspective. 

[Sourire]

shesaidboom - sorry you have to go to that downtown clinic every day! What a pain in the butt! So strange that you needed to have a full bladder for your u/s... the rule at my clinic is empty bladder for ultrasounds, full bladder for IUI's. They actually force you to go to the bathroom right before the ultrasound to make sure your bladder is empty. Does these people know what they're doing??? What dose of Gonal-F are you supposed to take, and on what days? I'm so excited to have an injectables buddy! Any specific reason why they switched you from Puregon to Gonal-F? My doctor actually wanted to switch me to Gonal-F this cycle but I decided to continue Puregon cause I still had some left in my fridge.

SKJ - your new doctor sounds much better! Wow that is crazy that your friend kept you in the dark about her pregnancy for so long meanwhile you've been sharing so much about what you're going through. That seems pretty mean! Or maybe she thought she was being nice by not rubbing her pregnancy in your face? On the other hand, it's pretty encouraging to hear that Clomid + IUI worked for her, don't you think?

Milk - the like buttons have been there for a while ;) Yes I did end up going to my MIL's... but I didn't last very long there either. What a weekend! I love the idea of different stones on rings, it makes your ring unique! My engagement and wedding bands have alternating diamonds and rubies. I love them. Pretty crazy about your OPK's, that's one heck of a long LH surge! It's never happened to me so I can't help much, but I've heard other ladies around here mention such things.

AFM - I am full on Crinone-Crazy. It's official. One minute I feel fine, the next I am shocked at the words that just came out of my mouth (usually something super b*tchy that I didn't even mean), and the next minute I'm on the verge of tears. And there's also the fact that I haven't been able to walk in a straight line since Sunday (I feel super drunk haha), I keep walking into table corners and such... I'm covered in bruises. My brain function has also slowed down to a crawl... I'm incapable of multi-tasking, I keep making stupid mistakes in my work, I'm not thinking straight, I forget everything. Oh Crinone how I hate thee!!!!!! Only 3 more doses of this medication from hell left, I'm testing on Sunday... how am I going to survive 3 days???? I put up a sign at my desk that says "Gone Crazy, Back Soon"... hehe.

[shesaidboom]

SKJ2011 - on CD three they do an external as well as internal ultrasound.
I had the same situation happen to me, except my follicle actually "shrank". Then the day after that it seemed like it grew so much. They also said difference in techs can explain it, as Vegan Princess explained too.
I'm so sorry about the situation with your friend.  I understand waiting until 12 weeks to share the news with most people, but to not say something to you wasn't fair since you have been sharing this journey together.

Milk8shake - I totally understand the feeling. I never want anyone else to have to have experienced the same thing, but being alone is never nice. I'm so glad that lady is getting her baby, and I hope that we both do too.
Also, WOW that ring is gorgeous! I don't think you're a crazy cheapskate at all. We did not spend much on our engagement ring (it was well under $1000). It just wasn't the most important thing to us, but I still LOVE my ring.
Hurray for the good news!
Having pregnant friends can really mess with ours head. Although it's happy, it's so confusing and hard. What you said about friends moving on to #2 or #3 while we're sill here, I can relate to that so much.

EDIT: oops, posted at the same time as you guys..

BeagleSmuggler - welcome to the thread. I hope we're able to give you support and a kind shoulder when you need it. It really is a hard and frustrating process. Even though Clomid can mess with AF, I am still hoping the longer cycle is a good sign for you.

I also noticed you're from Toronto too!

Sourire - That's really interesting to hear! For us it's full bladder on CD3 because they do an external and internal ultrasound. They do the external first and then we have to empty our bladders for the internal. For IUI we don't have that full bladder rule. DO you know why they require that? Now I'm interested to see how it is everywhere else. Anyone want to weigh in? I'm on 50 units of Gonal F. I'm going back in on Friday for monitoring, so I do the 50 units each day until then. I switched to Gonal F because I had a lot of side effects on Puregon, even on such a low dose. My RE said that if I do end up having to do IVF, we could choose whichever meds had the least side effects since I'll be on such a high dose.
I hate the hormone craziness from progesterone! I had no idea Crinone was so bad though. At least it's only 3 more days. I love the desk sign! hehe.

AFM, I'm having a rough day today. One of my closest friends went into the hospital for bad abdominal pain last night. She found out this morning she's actually pregnant. She's really upset because she is religious about taking her birth control and she does not ever want children. She loves kids, but not for herself. She's not going to keep it, which is the right thing for her since she doesn't want kids. It's just so upsetting though. We have to work SO HARD to even have a chance at getting pregnant and it happened so easily for her while actively preventing. She said she wished she could take it out of her and put it into me, but obviously it doesn't work that way. It's times like this where I really just want to stamp my feet and whine about how unfair it all is.

I did my first Gonal F shot last night, 50 units. Nothing really to report. I go back in on Friday for cycle monitoring. I guess they aren't monitoring me as closely this time because I've already done the one cycle on injectibles.

As for my results from yesterday it showed that I have 3 follicles on one side and 8 on the other. My RE says that someone with PCOS would have WAY more, so I'm thinking I was misdiagnosed. Frustrating since we should have been looking at other causes all along.

Edited by shesaidboom - 7/18/12 at 1:40pm

[Tear78]

Milk, of course I'm lurking! I have so much love for you guys and want to see you all get your take home babies! And thanks for saying that, because I want to support the hell out of you but I don't want to cause any pain. That ring is gorgeous!!! You made a beautiful design. I wouldn't feel like a cheapskate not getting a diamond, though. They catch on stuff anyway. DH and I never got an engagement ring, and my wedding band has a little diamond set in it (like a mm across) as a symbol. We did that partly because it was more "us" and partly because we wanted to save money for other things. I love my wedding ring and don't miss a big diamond. OK...back to lurking, and thanks for sharing! Rochelle, thanks for your good thoughts, too!

[SKJ2011]

Milk - LOVE both of those! My wedding ring is alternating sapphires and diamonds. I really like more creative wedding/engagement rings that use other gem stones. I can't wait to hear what you decide on and the details of the proposal!

I totally hear you on the friend's pregnancy thing (obviously - check my last post). There is nothing else in life that feels like IF. It's just near impossible to not feel sad when others have it so easy. I truly hope you will have amazing news to share with them soon. Thinking of you.

Beagle - Welcome! I'm on my first round of clomid, so I'm not much help for answer your questions. Hopefully one of the other ladies can weigh in.

Sourire - Thanks for your understanding. You are right, it is encouraging that it worked for her. I just wish I could have been in the loop this whole time instead of feeling foolish for thinking we were still in the same boat. I had therapy last night and it was tremendously helpful.

I'm sorry you are in crazy land. I just started to get the clomid mood swings and I'm starting crinone after O, so at least you have company I hope this is the last time you need to use the Crinone and you'll get a BFP this month!!! Fingers crazy crossed for Sunday.

SSB - Thanks. Seriously, there are too many of us dealing with other people's situations right now! SSB, I think you have it the worst. That is such a hard situation. At the very least, it sounds like she's being sensitive to your feelings. It doesn't make it hurt any less though. Big hugs to you.

And, I'm frustrated for you about the possible misdiagnosis. WTH! Why are doctors such morons?

AFM - Yay! I had an amazing ultrasound tech this morning. She told me the size of all my follies. One is 22, another is 15 and there are a bunch of smaller ones in the 9 - 12 range. So, I'm thinking that they'll have me trigger tonight and IUI on Saturday. The tech gave me a printout of the u/s of my big follie in case this is the cycle. Thank goodness there are nice people occasionally.

Hi to everyone else.

[BeagleSmuggler]

Thanks for the welcome!

SheSaidBoom - Awesome name! And great to see another Torontonian! I can relate to your friend-frustration. 

SKJ2011 - Well maybe we'll figure this thing out together. 

General question: I need to start learning some of these acronyms. What does RE stand for?

[lilacvioletiris]

Welcome BeagleSmuggler, RE stands for reproductive endocrinologist.

shesaidboom - what a sad thing to think of with your friend pregnant, but not wanting to be, and the rest of wanting to be pregnant but not yet had that happen.

AFM, scheduled the next sperm freeze for Friday Aug. 3.  At $206 dollars a pop to freeze a sample, and I just found out my insurance denied that even though we have infertility coverage, I sure hope DH has more than 5 little wigglers in his next sample.

[SKJ2011]

lilac - Fingers crossed for August 3rd! That's my pregnancy test date for this cycle. I really hope we both have a great day. WTH is up with insurance!?!? so frustrating.

AFM - Triggering tonight. My estrogen looked "great" and I have 2-3 follicles ready to go. IUI on Saturday and then the praying begins until I have my test on August 3rd.

[shesaidboom]

SKJ2011 - It's all of us really. It seems we're all updating about these awful situations we're getting in. It makes my heart ache so much for all of you. I'm glad that we can all share with each other and get that understanding because wow, is it ever hard. My friend has been really sensitive about it because she knows how hard it has been for me and DH (she's good friends with him too). I'm trying to be there for her because I know this is really hard for her too, but it has been hard to hold it together. At least we can cry together about how much we wish it was the other way around.
As for the misdiagnosis, I think that happens a lot with things like PCOS. They saw the cysts and some hormone issues and slapped the label on. I had the same thing happen in the past with IBS (I don't have IBS, but I had stomach problems and they couldn't figure out what it was so they called it IBS). Hopefully it'll be looked after properly now. We'll see what the RE says on the 25th.
I'm so glad your ultrasound tech was great! That's awesome that you got a print out! I wish they would do that for me. I should ask. I really hope this IS the cycle for you! Crossing my fingers.

BeagleSmuggler - Thank you! I'm sorry you can relate because I wish you didn't have to go through it, but at least there is this place where people really get it. Thanks for understanding.
I'm pretty sure someone once put together a list of all the acronyms. Does anyone remember? I'm pretty sure I was linked there when I first joined.

lilacvioletiris - it really is a hard situation. I wish that it was so easy for all of us who are dying to be pregnant.
Can you try talking to the insurance company again? We've had that happen in the past and after a couple tries finally got what we needed covered. Crossing my fingers for a good sample from DH!

AFM, I get these killer cramps for a few hours after injecting the Gonal F. Has anyone else who has been on it experienced that? It's only been two days now so maybe a coincidence? I'll see what happens tonight! Otherwise, I feel much better than on the Puregon.
 

[Milk8shake]

SKJ - Yikes about your friend!  I think I would feel a bit betrayed by it too.  In other news, Yay for awesome ultrasounds, good estrogen and triggers!  Come on baby... Also, what a great tech you had - that's so thoughtful!  

Hi BeagleSmuggler!  Welcome.  It won't take you long to learn the acronyms, sadly!    Sorry to hear about your screwy clomid cycle.  Have you tested already?  I've learned that it's best not to "compare" journeys because everyone's pain is relative to their circumstances... Also, do you have any beagles?  I love dogs!  

Sourire - You are such a trooper!  Well done for making it to the MILs.  Your ring sounds lovely, btw.  Interesting about the Crinone crazy.  I hope that doesn't happen to me... I don't remember being (more) crazy on progesterone.  I totally think you should put that sign on your desk though!  I am also covered in bruises, due to the aspirin.  I bruise kinda easily anyway, so this just makes it worse.  Pretty sure some people think the wrong thing when they see me with bruises everywhere!  It's even worse on Clexane.  Sheeesh.  

Can't wait til Sunday!

SSB - What the absolute &#@$?  Are you, or are you not, the strongest person ever?!  I have no frickin clue how you are holding it together long enough to type right now.  That is not a rough day, that is like the world's worst day.  I could not cope with that.  I understand that you love your friend, but holy moly!  One of my close friends had a termination like 5 or 6 years ago after "brief encounter" where the contraception failed.  It was long before we were thinking about kids, but I still sometimes feel angry at her, even now.  I can't even begin to comment on your PCOS situation because it's all too much to take in.  Please accept this award for being the world's best friend.  

Tear - Thanks for lurking 

Lilac - hoping for big numbers for your freezer August 3 seems like a good day all round! 

AFM:  Aforementioned friend is not pregnant.  Am I a bad friend for being happy about that?  Also - OPKs are STILL positive.  We're talking seven days people.  DP and I are exhausted from the sexathon.  We can barely look at each other!    I'm CD 22 today, so I'm starting to think that I haven't/aren't going to O.    Somehow I would say that this is not our cycle.  

Maybe I will be back on the charting wagon after all.  

[lilacvioletiris]

Milk8shake, have you had any EWCM with your positive OPKs? I did the OPKs once, but I found them more annoying because it wasn't clear if "positive" was positive.

[deborahbgkelly]

Yeah. Milk- The brand I used this month was awful and I ended up changing my chart up based on EWCM (I did no temping and don't ever want to temp again).

[deborahbgkelly]

Yeah. Milk- The brand I used this month was awful and I ended up changing my chart up based on EWCM (I did no temping and don't ever want to temp again).

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by Milk8shake  Also - OPKs are STILL positive.  We're talking seven days people.  DP and I are exhausted from the sexathon.  We can barely look at each other!    I'm CD 22 today, so I'm starting to think that I haven't/aren't going to O.    Somehow I would say that this is not our cycle.  

Maybe I will be back on the charting wagon after all.  

Milk - Sorry to "barge in", but I just stalk on here now and then and I saw your AFM about 7 days of positive OPK's.  That just seems really weird that it could last that long... would there be any chance you could actually have a BFP?  OPKs can also be positive if you are pregnant too?  Just a wishful thought.     

Okay, back to lurking.... 

[shesaidboom]

milk8shake - haha, thanks. I'm really not though. When I wasn't with her I was losing my shit. I am really hurt and upset, but I know she is too. I'm seeing her again tonight, which I know will be hard.
You're not a bad friend for being happy. I would feel the exact same way. I hope that the OPKs are just messed up, like others mentioned, and this is your cycle after all. I mean, all that sex must help!

AFM, I am feeling very discouraged. I just got my results from monitoring this morning and NOTHING has changed from three days ago. Here are my results:

July 17th (CD 3)

estrogen: 130

LH 4

progesterone 5

right side: 3 follicles, left side: 8 follicles

all follicles under 1 cm

July 20th (CD 6)

estrogen: 131

LH 4

progesterone 5

right side: 3 follicles, left side: 8 follicles

all follicles under 1 cm

my lining is .5

My RE gave me the same instructions as CD 3 - 50 units of Gonal-F and return on Monday for more monitoring. Should she not have upped my dose since nothing is happening? I know it can take follies a while to grow and maybe I'm just off since all my monitoring (except on Puregon) had me coming back at CD 10 instead of CD 6. On my Puregon cycle my estrogen changed a lot between days 3 and 6, but it also started at 73 and went to 127. I also had a follicle at 1.4 and one at 1.0 by then. What do you guys think?

[Milk8shake]

Day EIGHT of positive OPKs today - yes, I know what you're thinking - of course I've taken HPT (-) as well.  I live to pee on things, apparently.