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July 2012 Infertility One Thread -- Let the Fireworks Ignite! - Page 4

post #61 of 195

Milk -  I think that it is fantastic that you want to start that website, I imagine that there are many people who would benefit from it.  I wish I could suggest some names but I don't have a creative bone in my body!  I don't think that my doctor is a bit cocky, I think the issue is that she's not a fertility specialist, she's an obgyn who knows about the basic testing but that's all she's used to dealing with, her plan for me was do the testing and if all looks good then give me some clomid.  Beyond that is out of her hands, she will refer me on to the ivf clinic who I am assuming will do furthur testing and I assume that that's when things will start to cost me some $ but I will do it just to get the extra tests.  Everything takes so long here, I had to go to my family doctor first and then she does some blood work and refers me to the obgyn who does the same and then she can refer me to the next person etc,  frustrating.  Glad you dh isn't crying about the berries anymore! 

post #62 of 195
Thread Starter 

Stretch, we will miss you! I moved you.

 

Milk, I think that is a beautiful idea. A great way to use your pain to bring some good in the world. 

 

Smiles, sorry things take so long. It seems there are always more hoops to jump through!

 

Still nervous about the RE appt Thursday. Not even sure I'll do opks this month, though I should O around next weekend. Going to be at a birth all day tomorrow which could easily mess with my hormones (I always seem to spot!). Then it's my birthday Tuesday and work Tues/Wed so I'm hoping time will pass quickly and then it will be Thursday and we can get our game plan. 

post #63 of 195

SilaMarila - big hugs to you. I'm so sorry. I really, really wanted this to be good news.

 

polyhymnia - welcome back!

 

wissa - I hope we're there to join you soon too!

 

Sourire - it doesn't matter who has to wait longer, any waiting sucks and I totally undersand that. It's frustrating for all of us. I do hope that things go your way this month and we'll be celebrating a BFP for you!

 

BucketofRain - thanks, I hope so too. I mean we've already had several natural one year marks, but this will be the first fertility treatment one, which is hard because we really thought this would help, and our first RE was sure it'd work within a cycle or two.
Relaxing on a tropical beach sounds wonderful! Maybe it'll be just the thing to relax you. I'm crossing my fingers for a vacation baby for you.

 

SKJ - I'm sorry your appointment was so frustrating. I don't understand why they couldn't do the AMH. I'm glad you stood up for yourself! A second opinion would be a good thing. It does seem aggressive, but I know my RE is saying the same if my AMH comes back as badly as it did when they first tested it. Let's hope you do get that miracle baby so you don't need to do anything else!
Thanks for the good thoughts! I really hope we get that honeymoon baby too.

 

deborah - I really hope the endo is NOT back! That would be awful.

 

monkey - Hi! Keep us updated!

 

Milk8shake - I need to follow your lead and stop with the time frames. It does suck to think about!
I agree that waiting for O is crazy boring. I hate all the waiting involved in cycles.
Starting the miscarriage specific support group sounds like a wonderful idea. It can often be so ignored and it can be hurtful. I'm sure you'll find the perfect name. Thank you for doing it.

 

stretch - I hope everything works out and you get that BFP soon!

 

SimplyRochelle - I hope everything at the RE appointment goes well! Keep us updated.

 

 

AFM, I'm so upset. I got into another one of those situations where I was told I was selfish for wanting a natural baby and I should "just adopt" because there are so many unwanted children in the world that need love and instead of making the overpopulation problem worse, I should just save one of them. I really hate how misinformed people are. I have no idea where this idea that adoption is as easy as tying your shoes it. It is so upsetting. I am not completely closed to the idea of adoption and I know it can work out wonderfully for others, but I don't know. I want to experience having a baby. There is a six year waiting list here for a baby, if we started the process now, but we would not be approved (we haven't moved into our own place just yet plus I have recently been on medication for anxiety, which eliminates us from many agencies). If going through an agency rather than foster care, there is a $10,000 yearly fee to stay on the list. So $60,000 + all the other costs? I also have reservations because birth mothers retain rights for 6-8 months here. Meaning that you can have a baby in your arms for that long and it can be ripped away. I'm not arguing that birth mothers shouldn't have rights, but I could not go through that. We've looked into international adoption, but again there are issues there. We specifically looked at China and we'd have to be 30 before we could even apply and I would have to be off my medication for at least 2 years. Then there's a 4 year waiting list for an infant, so it'd be 6 years before we were to have a child. I've been told I'm being "too picky" by wanting an infant, but I hardly think that's selfish. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. Anyway, I'm going to stop ranting, it's just so upsetting and hurtful. Some people just have no idea.

post #64 of 195

SKJ - I'm so glad you found some positive info regarding the ovarian reserve.

 

Sila - how are you holding up? It's so tough after a big disappointment like that. I hope you are taking some time to treat yourself to something nice.

 

Milk - Yikes to that crazy dream! I have lots of crazy dreams, most of the time they make good stories to amuse my DH with, but sometimes they are a bit scary. It's totally ok to temp with a thermometer having 1 decimal, the charts just don't look as nice though. But I know lots of people who chart without recording temps, there's nothing wrong with that either. Usually for BDing DH and I try to do every other day, and we try to hit the day of the + OPK if it doesn't fall into our every other day schedule since they say that's the day with the highest chances! I agree it can get kind of exhausting though, every other day is much more frequent than we would normally choose to BD! Your support group sounds like an amazing idea.

 

Rochelle - that is crazy that you have a physical impact from being at a birth. I also hope you can keep busy enough to forget about your RE appointment. I get really stressed out by those too. One trick that works for me is to write all my questions down before I go. When I don't do that I usually forget to ask them and then I am so mad at myself afterwards.

 

AFM - I had my IUI yesterday. It went great, I didn't feel a thing (except for the speculum which is always a bit uncomfortable). DH even came with me to the IUI, for the first time ever, I was super happy that he could be there. We had 90 million motile sperm in the insemination sample, which is great. Now I'm just waiting for a temp jump so I can start taking Crinone (aka the devil). I was expecting it this morning but it didn't happen, so maybe tomorrow. Though I did get out of bed 1 hour before taking my temp this morning (I went back to sleep after) so maybe that's what messed it up. I didn't feel my O yesterday like I normally do on Ovidrel, so now I'm a bit worried that I didn't O yet!

post #65 of 195

shesaidboom - we cross posted! Wow I hate that there are so many ignorant people out there who manage to make such hurtful comments. Were you able to educate the person a bit about why they are wrong? Often I just walk away because I don't want to get into an argument but sometimes it can be more satisfying to explain your side of things to the other person and have them come around!

post #66 of 195

shesaidboom - You are not being selfish.  Where does it say that  infertile couples are the only ones that should be responsible for all the children that need to be adopted???  Really.  It's best to just ignore such ignorant comments.    Honestly, I doubt people who say such things would actually adopt, if the shoe were on the other foot.  I can't believe there is a $10,000 yearly fee to just be on a list!!

And there's nothing wrong with wanting an infant...older children can come with problems that you may or may not be able to help or overcome...and if you want to experience what it's like caring for a baby then who's to judge that?

 

 

Sourire - Everything sounds like a perfect cycle.  Fingers crossed for you.

 

O.k. - Thread crashing/rant over...

post #67 of 195

Sila: Sorry I am late in my comments - been away from a computer. I am so sorry!!! I was so hopeful this was it for you!!! Are you taking any different supplements this month? I found that when I took coenzyme Q10, the trigger lasted forever for me. Like a full 14 days. It's tough to know if it was the trigger lasting longer this time or an early loss. Please kind to yourself! 

 

Cindy

post #68 of 195

Sorry everyone, I took a break. I'm doing ok.

 

Rochelle - How did the birth go? Was the momma induced and that is why you knew would be at a birth today? It always amazes me how the birth hormones can mess with your cycle! Every doula I know mentions it, but my body is so stubborn nothing seems to phase it. I'm waiting on a mommy due this week...

 

shesaidboom - Omg, adoption is not a cure or the answer for infertility!!! I forgot you are in Canada so that must be why there are all of those crazy adoption rules/waits? I'm so sorry someone was so unsensitive. However, on the adoption note, how does embryo donation work in Canada? Here the parents waive their parental rights embryos so the resulting pregnancy is yours! It bypasses so many of the complexities of adoption but is still a similar alternative. It's something I have been looking into even though we are no where near deciding on adoption. I'm not sure I could stop trying until I have tried (almost) everything. I just know I could never handle a birth mother retaining rights for any amount of time, or even an open adoption, and we certainly cannot afford international adoption.

 

Sourire - Yes, I had an early loss a little over a year ago (5wks). I am still deciding if I should request further testing to see if there is ANY other reason this might not be working. It's just blood so it almost seems worth just checking. Woohoo for a great sample and IUI! I wish my DH could/would come with me one time. Even just for a u/s. How many follicles did they think you would have ovulate (or I think you said your RE doesn't do a u/s before the IUI)? I didn't feel my O with Ovedrel last time either. But you would think if you had more than 1 mature follicle you would. Are you taking the Crinone again because you still have spotting? I'm so hopeful for you this cycle! I might be asking you questions later since injectables are next for me.

 

Cait - Where are you? Did you get AF?

 

Vegan - The only new thing I took were Chinese herbs from my acupuncturist. In previous cycles when I didn't take them the trigger was out by 11days. My chart was triphasic until 13dpo then it seems something went wrong from there. AF was a day late (even after drinking a lot of gingerade and juicing an entire bunch of parsley) and has had some weird stringy stuff. So I'm going with my intuition that it was probably a chemical, but you are totally right that it was way too early to know anything.

 

AFM - We're taking this month off from meds and the RE. I just really want to enjoy some of the summer and the beach feel better (like me off of IF meds!) for a little bit before moving on. I'm doing ok, but I won't be totally ok until I can talk with DH about what might have happened this month and what we are going to do moving forward. He's off work tomorrow. I'm going to start a juice fast/cleanse this weekend to help get the Clomid out of my system. I need to get the names of the injectables the RE would want to do and how much monitoring they would want to do and talk to my insurance and see if the meds are covered and total everything up to see if it is even doable. 

post #69 of 195

Shesaidboom- We're pretty sure it is back, but we aren't going to bother having me do a surgery right now given my limited time to get PG again.

post #70 of 195

Deborah - Why do you have limited time to become pregnant again? Age?

 

Oh and Rochelle, I forgot to tell you good luck at the RE on Thurs!

post #71 of 195

Good luck to everyone - hoping for some graduates this month!!

 

I am wondering if I can ask for some advice about RE-related stuff.  I thought we didn't have any IF coverage on our insurance but I just looked it up and found this

 

 

Quote:
TYPE OF SERVICE - GENERAL: INFERTILITY TESTING AND EVALUATION SERVICES ARE COVERED. PLEASE REFER TO THE NY INFERTILITY POLICY FOR SPECIFIC PROCEDURES THAT ARE CLASSIFIED AS BASIC & COMPREHENSIVE.

TYPE OF SERVICE - INPLAN: COVERED SUBJECT TO THE IN-PLAN DEDUCTIBLE AND COINSURANCE WHEN RENDERED IN A FACILITY. SERVICES RENDERED IN THE OFFICE ARE COVERED AT 100%.

TYPE OF SERVICE - OUTPLAN: COVERAGE IS SUBJECT TO THE DEDUCTIBLE, COINSURANCE AND USUAL AND CUSTOMARY ALLOWANCE.

I think this means that testing is covered (after our deductible/coinsurance), but then any treatment would be fully out of pocket?

 

Also, looking for feedback about this place  http://fertileweb.com/  They almost seem TOO "slick" to me, but they are convenient.

post #72 of 195

Smiles - Ok, that's a fair enough call about your doctor.  It sounds like an incredibly frustrating process.  Here, I just rock up to my GP and say "I want a referral to Dr X", and she just does it.  Do you have to wait for the second batch of results before you can get an RE referral?  I really think that it sounds like it would be a worthwhile exercise - unfortunately nothing much about this journey is cheap, hey?! 
 
Rochelle - good luck at your appointment!  And happy birthday!
That's really interesting that births make you spot, by the way...
 
SSB - I've been in your shoes more times than I care to imagine, unfortunately.  I am getting better at handling it though.  I feel exactly the same.  I'm not against adoption, I think it is a wonderful thing.  I also think that I deserve to have the experience of growing a child (full term) inside me.  Feeling kicks, having maternity shoots, being pampered and looking pregnant, and having annoying strangers ask me questions.  All those things that other people take for granted, (or even dislike!) I want that for myself.  I want a baby that looks like me, and people to say, "oh, she looks just like you", and "like mother, like daughter".  
The adoption situation here is similar.  Minimum 4 year waiting list, and you cannot be undergoing any fertility treatment.  You get kicked out if you get pregnant, and you have to clear the psych eval, where they determine if you are "over" your losses and/or loss of your fertility/ability to have natural children.  And it costs lots of money.  And yeah, you don't get a baby.  Most children are at least six.  That's not to say those children aren't deserving, but you also miss out on some many "firsts".  Learn to smile, learn to walk, learn to talk.... You name it.  
When people spout self righteous sh*t like that to me, I try to take it as an opportunity to educate, although I know that's not easy for everyone.  It's still not for me, but it's important.  Having said that, DP and I have decided that if things don't go our way, we will be putting ourselves on the adoption register next year.  
Hugs to you, lady.  hug2.gif
 
Sourire - I always go to type your username as "Sourie", for some reason.  I think I like it better!  Thanks for the info about the temping, I am thinking about trying it again now... We shall see.  I'm glad I'm not the only one exhausted at the idea of so much sexy time.  I mean, I love DP and all, but sheeesshhh!  
Glad you had a good IUI, and that DH could come along!  90 million sounds like a super number.  Super sperm!  Hoping for your temp jump to bring on the devil winky.gif
Cait - Yoooooo hooooooo?  Are you out there honey? whistling.gif
Sila - as you know, I've been stalking elsewhere.  Good on you for taking the time off though.  I think it's important to look out for number one!  flowersforyou.gif
polyhymnia - no clue about the insurance stuff.  I hope that you do have coverage though!  
 
AFM:  Thanks for all the good vibes about my website idea.  I still have no domain name though, and I have been racking my brain.  I just want to get started.  I may just go with something like "pregnancyloss.com.au".  At least that will be good for SEO purposes.  
I had a HUGE weekend.  Went out for my cousin's 21st birthday on Saturday, and my brother was paying for all my drinks.  I got incredibly drunk, and ended up in DP's bad books big time, because he had to come and pick me up at some ridiculous hour, and the tolerate all my drunken stupidness, plus drive my Aunty, and brother home to their houses.  
To my surprise, out of the blue on Sunday he declared that he felt like going up to the shops and having a look around.  He proceeded to take me to look at engagement rings  yikes2.gif
jaw.gif We've been together for seven and a half years now, and I was so shocked that the time had finally come.  My hands were shaking when I was trying on rings... 
(I hope this isn't a sign that I'm going to die of a brain tumour like in my dream.... )
post #73 of 195

Sila- Not my age, but the age of my eggs. I have DOR which my RE says is common with Endo sufferers. The other issue is that the longer I wait the worse my Endo can get and could eventually end up making it impossible for me to get pregnant at all. Other Endo sufferers, keep in mind that everyone is different. I don't know what stage mine was but it was pretty aggressive.

post #74 of 195

Milk8Shake- How exciting!

post #75 of 195
Milk- Wow! Engagement rings! Holy s@&$! Do you think he'll propose soon? I mean, since you're not exactly in the dark about the whole thing... joy.gif
post #76 of 195

Sila - no I don't get an ultrasound on the day of my IUI. Going by the ultrasound 2 days before I will ovulate between 1-3 eggs, most likely 1. I'm still taking Crinone because my LP is still a little short (it's now 11 days... before my lap it was 9 days) and I do still have spotting starting on 7dpo. Taking a month off is such a good idea. I'm convinced the meds work better for me after I skip a month. Good luck with finding out more about injectables.

 

Polyhymnia - My clinic has a pretty slick website too, but that's because they are a huge clinic and they see tons of patients and they are very organised. I can always get an appointment with only a few days notice and everything there runs like a well oiled machine. It's a bit impersonal but they really know what they are doing! So the website could be a good thing. I can't help with the insurance though, you should call the insurance company

 

Milk - wow engagement rings! So exciting!!!!! My DH was stalling on the engagement thing for a while too (like a year) and finally I was like "move it or lose it pal!"... though the main reason I was in such a rush was because he didn't want to TTC until we were married and I had a schedule to stick to... I wanted to be a mom before I was 30... so much for that plan lol... I'm 30 now and still no babies. I guess if DH had agreed to TTC before the wedding I wouldn't have cared as much when we got married.

 

Deborah - well I guess I'm pretty lucky then because I have endo but no sign of DOR. Maybe because I didn't have any endo on my ovaries?

 

AFM - usually after O my temps are above 36.6. Well this morning my temp was around 36.5... slightly higher than the last few days, but not very convincing. I really didn't have any signs of O this month. No sore breasts, no O pain, no big temp jump. I'm starting to question whether I actually O'ed! I started the Crinone anyways but I don't have very high hopes for this cycle. Next month I can't do an IUI either because I will be travelling. What's a few more months at this stage?

post #77 of 195

Milk-champagne.gif Yay!! I went with DH to pick my ring too. I wouldn't move in with him until we were engaged (Catholic guilt--- but I guess only partway, because we still co-habitated a year before marriage!) So EXCITING!!!! So did you pick something specific or just give him ideas? I love your idea for a supportive website for miscarriage. I have been fortunate not to experience that part of IF but have a sister and 3 cousins that have and I can't speak for them but I think they would agree it is untapped when it comes to support. You are incredibly strong to continue your journey for motherhood, your experience and advice will be appreciated by many women. That said, I have zero creativity so no ideas for names. I liked the butterfly babies if you could do some spin on that.

 

Sourire- That is very strange about your temp. I am impressed you are still temping, that is dedication! I gave up my thermometer then I started seeing the RE and then when I stopped I moved on to Creighton charting and never looked back. I'm not sure the temp shows much as far as O strength so I'm sure you did O, were your temps lower before O than usual? My spotting hasn't changed post-LAP, but my LP is longer. When I know AF is coming I wish my LP was still 11 days so I could just try again... Also, I had endo on my left ovary but still have a good ovarian reserve, so I'm thankful for that!

 

Sila- A month off sounds good. This is such a crappy journey, taking the time to re-group is necessary to get back on the same page and re-gain 'life' without IF. Will they let you try something other than Clomid?? I really think you would feel so much better mentally if you weren't taking that crap (I mean, I know it has a reputation for working, but when it doesn't, it just seems like a load of crap that makes you feel like a load of crap!). Enjoy the juice cleanse too.

 

deborah- sorry to hear they think your endo is back. When did you have your LAP? I hope you have success before you need to do another surgery or IVF.

 

Shesaidboom- people are just so insensitive. Really they think they are being positive and making suggestions and don't realize how insensitive they are so it is hard to fault them because it just seems logical in their itty bitty close-minded brains. Ignorance is bliss I guess. I don't fault you in the slightestfor wanting a biological child. I hope your testing all goes well and the doctor has some insight on what is going on and how to get you a baby ASAP.

 

polyhymnia- I second or third calling your insurance. I wouldn't worry about the website, it all depends on how you click with the doctor you are seeing, websites are so easy to perfect these days that even the smallest place can look impressive.

 

SKJ- frustrating about your appointment. Follow your instincts if you think you aren't being cared for how you want then find someone new. I wish I had done that sooner!

 

AFM- 15 dpo, spotting spotting spotting. Tonight is the first time I feel a little period-y like she is going to show in the morning. I don't feel pregnant at all either, anything but. I just wish AF would have come on time instead of having a longer LP because this means I will probably miss O on my trip to Kansas City next week to see DH. Pain in the @$$. My spotting started 'on time' at 10dpo like it has the last 3 months so I don't think I ovulated later than I charted. I'll test in the morning anyway if AF hasn't shown up with a vengence as I am expecting (and have been expecting for 4 days). I keep going back and forth... my normal LP was 11 days, last month it was at 13 but I had taken a lot of B6 which lengthens LP, well this month I barely took any because I kept forgetting and because I O'd so early I never started the high dose so I was expecting my LP to be 11 or 12 days... so 15 days is a long time. Then the spotting brings me back down to earth and having a terrible cold for a week during my LP brings me back to earth and only having sex 1 time, 2 days before O, with no fertile CM brings me back down to earth. I am not pregnant, where is my period. Stop EFFing with me! Also, what use is a super annoyingly long LP when my spotting still started at 10 dpo. Who needs 6 days of spotting?!

post #78 of 195

Sourire- My ovaries were covered in cysts and swollen to 4 times their size when I had my lap. Toothfairy2be- May of 2010. Also, I hope so too.

post #79 of 195
BFN- where is AF?!
post #80 of 195

Sorry Cait! Even though I know the timing wasn't great and you weren't very hopeful, it still sucks! I don't know what to tell you. It's the longest LP ever? Some how you were off on your O day by a couple days? You aren't going to get full flow AF and it's just going to be spotting? I hope she comes later today...

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