July 2012 Infertility One Thread -- Let the Fireworks Ignite! - Page 5

[SKJ2011]

I'm so sorry TF. I fully expected to wake up to a BFP from you. I echo everything Sila said. It sucks no matter what, and it's worse when your body f's with you. friend.

Sourire - I hope your temps are just playing mind games with you and that all is well in your fallopian tubes. I'm imagining your little egg+sperm taking a nice stroll down to your uterus now. Why do our bodies mess with our minds so much??

Milk !!!!!!! So, so exciting!

AFM - Not a happy camper over here. My AF showed up at 11 DPO while I was on vaginal prometrium. That's the shortest LP ever on progesterone. WTF. And, that makes my cycle only 22 days. Not good, not good at all. After much scouring of the interwebs, I've decided I'm pretty much doomed to have an only child. Don't get me wrong, I feel beyond blessed to have her. I just thought I'd have at least 2 kids. I know my diagnosis isn't a "death sentence" for my fertility, but with the cost of IVF and a DH who would prefer only 1 child, I'm pretty f-ed. I've been meaning to read Inconceivable, but I just can't read another word about this diagnosis.

In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out what to do next based on my insurance coverage. They have a "lesser before greater" clause, which means that I can't go straight to IVF, unless they approve my appeal. If not, they require 3 rounds of injectables with IUI and my RE is very against that approach due to potential high order multiples. so, I'm trying to appeal and waiting to hear what he suggests for this cycle. And, I've been reading that infertility treatments can make DOR worse! So, the conundrum continues: it only takes 1 good egg, so...

I've joined the IVF thread to stay a step ahead of the game

[hope4light]

Stalking... just wanted to say....

MILK - I am SO excited for you!  I can't wait to hear that he's popped the question, and how he does it!!!

[polyhymnia]

Originally Posted by toothfairy2be 

BFN- where is AF?!

So sorry to hear this!!  :(

What is Creighton temping?

[shesaidboom]

Sourire - I tried to educate, but I find it normally goes wrong when I do. Most people who say things like that like to think they know what they're talking about and don't want to listen to truths. I need to do what you said and just walk away. I just get so upset over ignorance sometimes.
I'm glad the IUI went well and that DH could be there too! I hope that O was just symptom free this month and things are going just fine. Maybe BD just in case it's a bit late?

wissa - thank you for the reassurance. I really like and agree with what you said about infertile couples not being the only ones responsible for the children who need to be adopted. You're right that it's best to ignore comments like that, and yes, I doubt those people would adopt either. I'm glad you guys get it and understand. Well, I am but I'm not because I hate that you have to deal with infertility too.

SilaMarila - you're right, it's not. The rules are different here, and in every province too. I remember at our IVF session there being something about embryo donation. Something about how it's illegal, but that may just be selling embryos. I'll have to look it up. I'm in the same place as you pretty much. We're not going to stop until we have tried everything.
I really understand the need to take some time off from meds + REs. I hope you do get to enjoy some summer. I hope everything works out, and hey, maybe you'll even get a free baby this month. That would make things a lot easier.

deborah - I'm so sorry it's back.

polyhymnia - Thanks, I'm hoping we get some graduates this month thoo!

milk8shake - I feel exactly the same way you do. I didn't even think about the psych eval. I know we'd already have issues because I've recently been on medication for anxiety. Thanks for the hugs, I definitely need them! And thank you for understanding.
Oh my GOSH!!!!!!!! Hurray! I'm so excited for you and DP. Congratulations!

Cait - Thank you, on both accounts.
I'm sorry AF is on the way and that signs this month have been so wonky. I HATE when that happens. I wish things went better. I really wanted that BFP for you. Big hugs to you.

SKJ - I'm sorry things aren't going as you had hoped. I do hope things change and you do get that 2nd baby.

AFM, I'm having such a bad "infertility day" today. There are just too many pregnant people around me and while I'm happy for them, I want that to be me too. It just hurts so much.

[toothfairy2be]

polyhymnia- Creighton is charting that goes along with NaPro Technology. Basically it is observation of cervical fluid. It is so much easier and so far has been incredibly accurate. It can be more tricky with PCOS because of frequent patches of EWCM even without ovulation but my cycles are completely normal and regular- aside from the infertility part. I am very happy to not wake up to a thermometer daily. I included the website if you are looking for more information. NaPro (Natural Procreative) Technology does not participate in ART (no IUI or IVF) so it is a commitment to getting healthy and finding out why it isn't working instead of just getting diagnosed as 'unexplained infertility'. It has been an interesting experience for me... So far no BFP, but this was just my 3rd cycle since Laproscopy for endometriosis so I'm trying not to get disappointed!

http://www.creightonmodel.com/

AF came tonight around 7pm-- should've wasted a HPT 3 days ago, that always seems to get her to show up!

[SilaMarila]

Milk - So what kind of rings do you like? Because we are thinking of selling mine. Seriously. I will sell me wedding ring for a baby (ahem a chance to try to make a baby that might not even work). I'm not at all the sentimental or extravagant type and honestly a $200 ring will mean the exact same thing to me as this one does...So exciting though!!! 

TF - About time she showed up...

DEborah - I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had DOR as well.

shesaidboom - Hugs. Sorry about the rough day. I've had a few of them myself lately.

SKJ - Sorry about the crap cycle. At least you are being realistic about everything...but you're right it only takes one!

AFM - I'll have to update more later. I had a few melt downs yesterday because it just seems so unfair that this has all come down to money. We need money. We need money if we want to have any hope of growing our family. We don't have it. At least not near enough. Hoping we'll have enough saved to do an injectables cycle by Sept (when I expect to get AF on my own).

I just got back from a doula consult and twice she told me they had to us fertility drugs to conceive their first child but got pregnant with the second when their DD was only 1yr old and still nursing full time 

[SKJ2011]

Sila - I hear ya on not being attached things, but it makes me so sad that you are having to think about selling your ring. This infertility stuff is just so unfair. Maybe we should start a mega-millions lottery pool for fertility treatments. Have you looked into the fertile heart ovum practice? http://www.fertileheart.com/ I've been reading a lot about it lately. It's basically a way to naturally improve your body, mind and spirit to help you conceive. For me, I feel like if I"m not doing a treatment cycle, I'd at least like to be doing something to help my chances. She talks about a pre-conception detox. Looks interesting. Anyways, sucks to have to hear about others getting pg against all the odds. Big hugs to you.

SSB - I"m so sorry for your pain right now. I wish there was something I could say or do to make it easier. This process just hurts so bad. I'm hoping so hard that you'll be one of "those" preggers in no time.

TF -

AFM - So, my AMH came in: 0.4. I was a wreck yesterday. But, I had a great therapy session and my CD3 u/s today showed 10 antral follicles. It's the same as last cycle. The doc downgraded the count to 7 last cycle. I'm ecstatic with the news today b/c that means things aren't deteriorating. I've really just got to believe that this will happen. I'm not ready to give up. The other amazing thing that happened yesterday is that my DH said "I want a #2 too". It was so amazing to hear that I'm not alone in this journey. He said that the difference is that he "hopes" it will happen and I "need" it to happen. I'm ok with that. It just feels like a huge burden off to feel like I'm not going to be begging him to do treatments and stuff. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[deborahbgkelly]

Thanks SheSaidBoom.  Sila- Sadly, it often comes with the territory with Endo; at least according to my RE. I had a lot of cysts on my ovaries at my lap in 2010 so it makes sense that they would have been affected. AFM- Pampering day today. Massage at 10, acupuncture at 1:30, chiropractic adjustment at 3:15.

[Milk8shake]

Sourire - Of course I have no clue about temps, I am so useless in that dept.  I'm glad you started the crinone anyway.  Come on baby!  

 

SSB - The adoption psych eval would be interesting for me also, because I spent nearly 12 months on medication/in therapy for depression/anxiety as a result of my third loss.  However, the bigwig therapist at the maternity hospital told me in December that she would write me a recommendation letter any day of the week.  So who know!

Sorry about the sucky day.  We all have those.  Indulge yourself and let your self be hurt and angry.  And then try to move onto something more positive.  

 

Cait, glad that AF finally showed her ugly mug.  I'm also really quite interested in the Napro Technology.  A lady that I know who had five miscarriages after her first born, recently had a successful pregnancy on this method.  It does seem to have very high success rates...  It was suggested to me a little while back, but guess I'm looking to be a bit to aggressive at this stage.  

Thanks for your thoughts about my website too.  I appreciate that.  (I'd appreciate it more if someone came up with a damn name for me!!! ) 

Sila -   The money thing is unfair...  I get so angry sometimes when I think that not only have I been through a world of pain trying to have a baby, but it has cost a lot of money.  Our financial position is not what it used to be, that is for sure.  Aside from the medical costs, because of all the time I had off from work for "emotional" reasons, I'm not earning anywhere near as much as I used to.  In some ways, we have no choice but to pursue things naturally, because IVF and surrogacy are pretty much out of our reach.

 

SKJ - I'm glad that you had good therapy, and good news!  I'm with you on the not giving up.  Your DH sounds a lot like my DP.  He says that although he wants children, he knows that he can live a happy life even if we can't have them.  He also knows that I can't.  It's such a good feeling when you are both on the same wavelength.  (Can't hurt to stalk the IVF thread... I do too!)

Deborah, sounds like you have incredibly aggressive endo.  I know doctors keep telling me about how much better mine will be after having a baby.  If only it were that easy!  

AFM:  Thanks for all the happy "potential engagement" thoughts.  A million years ago (or so it seems) we were just starting to talk about maybe getting married.  I really wanted to get married first, and then have babies.  And then I fell pregnant.  Yeah, it was an "accident" - but man, we were SO DAMN EXCITED.  (And then devastated, obviously).  After that, having a family seemed to matter so much more to me than anything else.  I could have cared less about weddings and engagements.  And after 3.5 years of heartache, I know that DP and I have been through more than most couples go through in fifty years.  I know that we will be together, and I don't need a ring for that. I do like the idea of making it all official, I guess I just mean that my journey has changed my perspective a little.  

BUT:   What girl doesn't get a little giddy at the thought>!?!?!?!  However, for those of you getting excited at thought... Let me just tell you now that DP is the least romantic person in the ENTIRE world.  EVER.  I'm serious.  Also, he cannot, and has not ever kept a secret in his life.  Every year, I know exactly what he's getting for my birthday, because he can't keep things to himself.  Several times I've gotten my birthday present early, sometimes weeks early, because he can't keep it a secret any longer.  My birthday is next month, and I already know what I'm getting.  

So.... don't be thinking that I'll have this flowery story of romantic proposals.  Even if he does come through with the goods (not holding my breath), it will probably be a "how 'bout it" kinda gig.  

[SKJ2011]

Milk - we totally have the same DH/DP. Mine is the least romantic and can't keep secrets too. Now I'm starting to wonder if those "business trips" involve a certain woman I know. I think any kind of authentic proposal would be amazing. My DH never proposed to me. We just decided to get married. I'm still slightly bitter about it, but then I remind myself that if he did a whole big to-do, it wouldn't be authentic at all. I'm sure whatever your DP ends up doing for you will be totally perfect.

AFM - That is how I'm feeling today! My CD3 b/w was SO much better than last cycle. My FSH was 6.6 (was 6 last cycle) and my E2 was 49 (was 75! last cycle). So even though my AMH is low, who cares! It only takes 1. It only takes 1... Started my first pill of clomid last night. Fingers crossed that I don't go bat sh*t crazy.

Question: My RE prescribed 50mg clomid + IUI. He said to just use OPKs instead of monitoring to keep our costs down. He said I can do monitoring if I want to. Is there any reason to do monitoring if I've been using OPKs and temping? I mean, I know the trigger can help with the proper timing of ovulation. It's a lot more costly b/c of all the ultrasounds. Anyone have any thoughts?

[Vegan Princess]

SKJ: If you are comfortable with OPKs, I'd go that route at first. I was supposed to do ultrasound and trigger each time and 2 out of 3 times I was using OPKs and it turned + before I could trigger and we had to rush and change my IUI for the next day instead of 2 days later. So their monitoring isn't always foolproof. If I hadn't used OPKs, my timing would have been all wrong. That said, if they monitor you early enough (which they finally did for my 3rd), it is nice knowing you are Oing exactly when the IUI is. 

Cindy

[SimplyRochelle]

We met with our RE for the first time yesterday. He was incredibly nice and quite optimistic. We are both still quite young and we have conceived together before so he's hopeful that maybe some IUIs will do the trick. I decided not to do the Clomid this month and give myself a break (which now I wish I hadn't), but still had one nice big follicle during the u/s and I'm pretty sure I'll ovulate tomorrow. It was a nice little reminder that at least part of my body is functioning the way it's supposed to. I only regret not taking the Clomid this month since I would have gotten to see what my ovaries looked like on 150mg of Clomid. He said my lining this month was already really good, which I don't feel like it would have been on that much Clomid. So we're going to try and save up the couple hundred dollars we need to do an IUI and he said to just call when I'm about to surge and have the money. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I was suddenly so nervous once we got there and my blood pressure was sky high to prove it. I also have no fingernails left. 

And to add stress to the day, we were already getting a late start back home (3 hours away) when we were the first people on the scene of a really bad traffic accident which I felt we had to stop at. I attempted to get the passengers stabilized and thankfully a few more nurses showed up pretty quickly. We were there for about an hour before we could leave and get back on the road. It was super intense and it took us a while to come down from it. 

We are hopeful. And who knows, maybe we'll actually catch this egg and get a free baby!

[monkeyscience]

So much to catch up on - still reading, but had terrible/no internet for most of the week.

I did want to pop in really quick with a suggestion for you, Milk, about your miscarriage support - a friend of mine started a miscarriage support group in the US called The Amethyst Network. I don't know a ton about it, but if you don't want to start totally from scratch, there's the possibility that maybe you could start an Australian chapter of the same group. No idea if that's of interest to you at all, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

[deborahbgkelly]

Milk8Shake- I think so too and maybe if I had had a full-term pregnancy it would have held off a little longer, but there is absolutely NO CURE for endo. They are working on finding the Endo gene to hopefully identify and treat it more effectively. For those of you with Endo, I highly encourage you to participate in the research study at www.EndtoEndo.com. I also joined the infertility register and that helps fuel research into infertility: www.ifrr-registry.org.

[toothfairy2be]

Thanks for sharing those Deborah, research is so important & I've never seen those sites. I signed up for both.

[shesaidboom]

cait - isn't that always how it works? Sometimes I'll test just so AF will show up!

SilaMarila - I hate that it really does come down to money with IF. It is crazy how much this stuff can cost and it's so upsetting. I hope things do work out and either you get a natural BFP or you can do your injectibles cycle soon. I know you're not attached to your ring, but it's unfair that it would even come to that. Also not fair that we can't get pregnant as easily as some others. It is so upsetting to hear about it sometimes. Big hugs to you.

SKJ - thank you for the sweet comment. It really does help to come here and have you guys understand. I hate that you do because it means that you're struggling too, but I am so grateful for this place. Hopefully we'll all have those BFPs soon.
I'm glad you had a great therapy session and u/s after receiving those results. Hurray for DH being on board! I'm sure that will make this awful time a little easier. I'm glad your spirits are up and things are going well.

deborah - the pampering sounds nice! I hope you enjoy yourself.

milk8shake - Thank you. That would be great to have a therapist write a letter! I mean, it's so different for everyone it's unfair to just lump everyone who has ever been on meds together. I ended up going on meds after a loss too. I think if we ever get to that point, I'll see if my doctor or a therapist would write us a recommendation.
I can relate to your thoughts on marriage/starting a family. DH and I were there as well. I have to admit planning the wedding ended up being a lot more fun than I thought and it was a great distraction from all this IF stuff. Even without a super romantic story (I don't have one either) it is very exciting!!

Rochelle - I'm glad your RE visit went well! Let's hope you won't need the clomid and this cycle will work out great.
Oh my gosh about the accident! That must have been so scary, but good for you for jumping in and helping out. Those people were lucky you stopped.

monkey - You're so close!! How are things going?

AFM, not much to report. RE appointment is on the 25th and I cannot wait, just because I want to make a plan and get things going again. I feel like I'm sitting here wasting time even though I'm just waiting for AF. It should be another week or so until AF is here, but I'm hoping she holds out until after the appointment. I'm nervous about getting my re-tested AMH results just in case the first batch was true.

I spent some time with one of my good friends who has two daughters. I love them so much, but we had a movie date and both girls were being super cuddly with me (the little one, who is my goddaughter, was on my lap laying on me) and it just made me ache so much more for my own little one. I just have to keep telling myself it will happen.

[lilacvioletiris]

Sila, hugs for you.  Sorry to hear your change in news.

Smiles, I am so sorry to hear of your news.

sourire, sounds like things worked out with your follicles.

polyhymnia, I would suggest you get DH's sperm count checked first.  DH and I are in a similar boat of having waited over a year and it appears that his sperm count is the reason we haven't gotten pregnant yet.

shesaidboom - the adoption route seems to be way more "expensive" than ivf, but people who do not deal with infertility aren't aware of the money; yes there a children who need families, but the process to get those children isn't easy from what I have read.

Milke - oooh, engagement rings - hopefully we get to celebrate a wedding for you soon - ring or no ring!

AFM: just finished up AF, waiting to schedule next sperm freezing for DH and then saving up our money for IVF.
 

[deborahbgkelly]

Shesaidboom- I mostly enjoyed myself, but am not sure this acupuncturist is a good match. We'll see how things go this week, but I was not very happy on Thursday. This Wednesday I have a massage in the morning (Peaches will join me and get one herself) and then I'll give this acupuncturist another go. I may look for one who specializes in infertility since there are some nuances other practitioners don't quite understand.

[shesaidboom]

lilacvioletiris - you're exactly right.

deborah - sounds like a good plan! I love that peaches is getting a massage too.

AFM, I must have messed up my dates and/or O because AF is here. Although now that I think about it, it was just over a month ago that she was here last. I guess we're in for a round of injectibles before IVF.

[Sourire]

toothfairy - I started temping about 3 years before I started TTC because I was charting to prevent and also interested in knowing what is going on in my body. So for me it is a habit I've had for a loooooooooong time and not really associated with TTC in my mind... I've tried to stop but it just feels so strange to not know what's going on with my body, so I can't do it! Interesting that we both got longer LP's from our laps but didn't see a change in spotting. I agree with you on spotting being a serious pain in the butt!!

SKJ - pretty crazy that you got AF on progesterone, that's never happened to me! I really hope your DD doesn't have to be an only child. 10 antral follicles seems quite good! I'm glad your DH is on the same page as you. I've seen studies that say that triggering ovulation doesn't actually improve success rates for IUI's... they only reason they do it is that it's more convenient for the doctors since they can schedule the IUI on their timeline. Monitoring can be helpful to identify issues with lining being too thin... it might be good to do the monitoring on your first cycle and then if everything looks fine, skip it for later cycles. Some people have a really thin lining on Clomid and if you figure that out right away, they can switch you to Femara and then you don't have to waste 3 cycles with a medication that isn't right for you.

shesaidboom - DH and I seriously considered BDing a few days after the IUI just in case O was a little late but we didn't end up doing it because I had already started the Crinone and we were both pretty wierded out by BDing with all that vaginal progesterone gel in there... I was worried that I wouldn't absorb it all and that DH would absorb some of it!!! Anyways on Tuesday (2 DPIUI) I started having some serious pain in my breasts which is one of my usual signs of O... mind you this was after I started the Crinone but usually the Crinone doesn't make my breasts hurt much so I'm convinced I O'ed, I just don't know when exactly. However I found a study online where they gave the trigger shot immediately after the IUI, aka most people were Oing a day or 2 after they had the IUI, and they actually had better success rates by doing that so I'm not too worried about whether I O'ed later than the IUI.

Sila - that is so tragic that you would have to sell your ring to afford infertility treatments. Life is not fair :(

Milk - I totally get what you are saying about babies being more important than weddings! Right now I'm really wishing DH had agreed to start TTC in 2008 when I wanted to instead of convincing me to wait for marriage (we weren't even engaged yet and he waited a year before proposing after that talk!!!) But my wedding truly was amazing, it felt like a fairy tale and I have such wonderful memories of it.

Rochelle - Glad you had a good RE appointment! Wow that car accident sounds crazy - how amazing that you have skills to help those people.

deborah - those studies look interesting!

AFM - A friend of mine was having a barbecue yesterday, they invited like 20 people (most of whom I don't know very well). I knew one girl who was going was pregnant because she my friend on facebook and I saw it on there. So before going I mentally prepared myself for seeing that 1 pregnant person. Well I got there and there were FIVE pregnant women!!!!!! Out of like 20 people!!!!! Everyone was talking about pregnancy the whole time! I couldn't handle it, we stayed for like 2 hours until everyone was done eating and then I told DH I wanted to leave, and I cried the whole way home.

The Crinone has already started driving my crazy, I woke up in the middle of the night before this barbecue with an anxiety attack so I didn't get much sleep the night before. I'm so incredibly tired all the time. I've felt that way since the beginning of this cycle.

Right now I'm supposed to be at my mother in law's house (1 block away from my place) celebrating my brother in law's birthday, but my brother in law's 2 kids will be there (including their 8-month old baby) but I need to limit my time around babies because it's so hard for me right now, so DH went by himself and told everyone I would show up a little later... I'm procrastinating because I don't know if I can handle it.