Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - July, August, September, and now October! - Page 26

[starling&diesel]

And I wanted to mention to Cordelia ... this is a great and supportive and safe space for families with trans or genderqueer parents.  A special welcome in that regard!

[prettyisa]

Wishin’—oh, no! I hope you’re all feeling better! We’ve just been sneezy, snotty, miserable. I can’t imagine a baby with a cough, though—I would be terrified.

Seraf—shay on the skateboard is hilarious! And I love all of the contradictions you’ve got going on over there!

Desert—that sounds like an awful work environment to be in! I hope the new people are amazing and awesome and you can get some REST! Evie’s always so cute! I love her bright little expressions and I especially love the crocheted flowerlets!

Knitting—I had the cooked kind and the vegetarian kind, but otherwise abstained. That and runny eggs were the only two things I managed to keep away from (but I made up for it in nitrate-laden meat products and alcohol and god knows what else, in small amounts). I figured that if eating spinach and tomatoes can give you salmonella, there really is no way to be completely safe, so do whatever feels prudent.

Planet—oh my goodness you are just the cutest family ever ever ever! Does it hurt to be so adorable? Only sort of kidding. I hope you’re having a good day today—the first one was the hardest for both of us, for sure!

Cananny—I’m so sorry to hear about the breathing troubles. I HATE that feeling, and it’s only worse in the fall when people think burning leaves is a good idea. Wrong. I hope you find a good solution soon!

Ahope—that is totally bizarre. I wonder what the impetus was? Are you able to be in touch with the woman whose baby was using your milk directly, or are you done donating now? We hope to see you all soon, too! Between family things and these endless colds I’m feeling like we never get to do anything fun anymore. Boo. Hopefully we’ll sort out something soon!

Mami—Glad they’re all doing well! I can’t believe L’s walking already! I remember when you first put up her little picture! And I’m bummed that we’re going to miss safariland—we seriously had to talk ourselves out of going there before Edie was born because we were afraid it would be creepy for a couple adults with no kids to go in.

Starling—three seems a little young for super-structured classes, I agree. How does the coop work? I need to go read your blog—it sounds interesting, but stressful! I miss our friends living downstairs. It was the perfect mix of friends to see whenever we were in the mood and no shared kitchen/bathroom spaces, but we were particularly good about giving each other space. Our new tenants are very nice, but it’s not the same as having almost-family down there.

AFM—nothing but still sick! Oh! And I finally made Edie’s Halloween costume yesterday. She and I are going to be fish, and DP will be a fisherman. I think I went overboard on the shiny scales, to tell the truth. I just got all excited about shimmery fabric. Oh well.

[AmandaHope]

Originally Posted by lisedea 

I am sorry to the sick families! It is definitely that time of year
Have anyone/partners induced breastfeeding? We are thinking about doing it but don't really want to go the birth control route. I was wondering how possible it would be to NOT be medicated?

Hi, Lise.  I have no experience with this, but the folks who I've known (here and elsewhere) who have successfully induced all used the standard protocol (birth control plus the appropriate drug--forgetting the name).  Hope others are more helpful.

[carmen358]

mami, your kiddos are so adorable!

starling, we'll be putting DPs westie on the road again next spring - we should plan a westie road trip! And you should totally try Music Together - it's super fun and Mimi, the instructor at Britannia is awesome (our favourite!).

A (not really) parenting update for me, we still haven't put in our application for adoption. I'm not really sure why we are dragging out heels. It's not out of desire for another child for sure...I still think we're mourning not having another on our own....or maybe it's something else. It's confusing to me!

We're off to Fort Lauderdale, Miami and the Keys on Oct. 27. I've heard that Key West isn't terribly kid-friendly...in fact, when I looked at some places to stay they actually have a no children policy! Are we crazy to go there?

[starling&diesel]

carmen ... We love Key West!  Haven't been since having kids, mind you, but everything we have done and enjoyed there would easily be done with kids.  It's such a funky, quirky place.  S will love the chickens roaming around!  

[carmen358]

I remember you saying you had been there but wasn't sure if it was pre kiddos. We don't usually avoid places to travel to just because they aren't over the top kid places (Disneyland ;) ) - we've taken DD to Philadelphia, NYC, Vegas...not usually touted as kid places but we found fun :) However, I was a bit afraid that Key West would just be full of obnoxious weaving, falling down drunks!
 

[prettyisa]

Carmen--I think Key West will be fine--a lot of the stuff to do is outdoors anyway, and I remember seeing TONS of kids when we went. If you are into old houses and gardens and whatnot, check out Viscaya in Miami. It's ridiculously lovely, especially the grounds.

[granite]

When I was a kid growing up in Toronto, my parents took us to Florida every year for March break (they were teachers), and I have the best memories of Key West! And all of Florida, really... My parents were more the type to take us to an old houses instead of kid-oriented attractions, but I loved the trees and birds and seashells and animals and weather, so different from home. My sister and I would spend hours and hours stalking geckos or drawing on seashells.  Have a great trip!
 

[wishin'&hopin']

Does anyone know of any inclusive books for preschoolers about expecting or getting a new baby at their house?  The stuff I found at the bookstore/library was all SO heteronormative that I'm not comfortable using them.

[starling&diesel]

Wishin ... Sigh.  The selection sucks.  My DP is genderqueer, so we often just said 'she' in place of 'he,' or 'baba' in place of 'daddy' or 'papa' and our first was none the wiser.  Funny thing:  if a book had a male parent with a beard, we usually kept the male pronoun, but if the male parent didn't have a full-on beard, we used a female pronoun, because dp looks so dad-ish anyway.  So, in a sense, it was easier for us from the genderqueer perspective.  

This one features just a mama in the story, which is a little different.  It was E's favourite, I think for some of the wonky things the sibling gets up to with his imaginary baby.

And this one is just so lovely and warm and features a homebirth, I think everyone should read it, heteronormative or not.  E loved this one too.  Perhaps even more than the other one.  And the illustrations are by Julie Vivas, whose work I adore.

Good luck!

[NZmumof2]

Hi Lisedea,

If we were having multiples we'd be looking hard at inducing lactation too!  Has your partner ever breastfed before?  If so that would make inducing without the birth control pill easier.  Just using stimulation with regular pumping for several weeks will often induce lactation in women who've done it before, plus if you were ok with using domperidone which increases prolactin levels that would help a bit too (that's my family physician opinion...). 

Check out the kellymom website for more info about inducing lactation.  We had intended for my partner to do this - she had never lactated, but when our son was born 3 months early we ended up just focusing on getting me feeding.  But it would be really handy with 3 bubbas though!

Hope it goes well

Anna

[cordelia15]

Just wanted to pop on to say hi!  Reading everyone's updates but hard to find time to respond individually! 

I thought about writing a good children's story for queer/genderqueer families. . I think we need more good stuff out there!  and good to see such a wonderful mix of queerness on this list!  Love diversity within the community!

AFU. . still waiting to go into the Dr. for the first appointment so it's so hard to really even feel like we are pregnant, I am just so anxious to know there is a lovely little HB in there!  (and hopefully just one though I would take more than one healthy over non-healthy any day!!) 

[seraf]

Originally Posted by starling&diesel 

Wishin ... Sigh.  The selection sucks.  My DP is genderqueer, so we often just said 'she' in place of 'he,' or 'baba' in place of 'daddy' or 'papa' and our first was none the wiser.  Funny thing:  if a book had a male parent with a beard, we usually kept the male pronoun, but if the male parent didn't have a full-on beard, we used a female pronoun, because dp looks so dad-ish anyway.  So, in a sense, it was easier for us from the genderqueer perspective.  

Not especially gender queer over here, but we did the same thing. Because I carried number two, sometimes Mom became Baba and Dad became Mama.

Cordelia, how far along will you be when you have your first visit? Only one of my pregnancies did I hear the heartbeat before it was audible with fetoscope. I am of the opinion that if I have no reason to suspect otherwise, all is well. I hope your wait is peaceful!

[KnittingTigers]

Originally Posted by cordelia15 

I thought about writing a good children's story for queer/genderqueer families. . I think we need more good stuff out there!  and good to see such a wonderful mix of queerness on this list!  Love diversity within the community!

Right? This is on my "things I need to do someday when I'm not working a crazy job and raising a kid and pregnant with twins" list.

[cordelia15]

seraf. . not sure when I will have my first appointment, have to talk to my Dr. about it b/c the front desk gave me two different answers!  I try to be in the "all is well" camp but for some reason am anxious, maybe bc now I am officially old, one month away from 40. Trying to use power of positive thinking though!   

knitting tigers. . maybe we can collaborate on the book! 

[wishin'&hopin']

I've thought about doing a shutterfly book for our family...but it would be rather dependent upon actually having the baby to take pictures of the baby--and since we've switched for who's gestating the pictures we have from DS's expected arrival won't match up with what his reality would be...

[AmandaHope]

Wishin: A shutterfly book is such a great idea. You wouldn't have to use only your own photos. You could theoretically take stock photos from the internet, write your own text, and make your own book, right?  Hmm...that's got me thinking. I'd love to make books for Lilah that reflect her own family (and other) reality better than the commercially available ones.  I'm even thinking we could make a book about our local community, featuring photos of places and people she knows and enjoys.  Why didn't I think of this before?! Thank you! Now to find the time...

Knitting: The name of your list made me laugh out loud.

Cordelia: I was surprised when I had the anatomy scan with Lilah (at the age of 35) that the risks for maternal age-related anomalies weren't higher.  In other words, their likelihood does go up, but not by nearly as much as I thought.  Don't let them (whoever exactly that is--pregnancy industrial complex?) make you feel ashamed of your age.  I'm a much better mama this time around than when I was 26.  People should have kids whenever and however it works for them, of course, but personally, I'm grateful for the experience of pregnancy, birth, and parenting a young child in my more mature childbearing years ;-).  Hope your anxiety lessens one way or another.

Lise: I'm with NZ on the fabulousness of the KellyMom website. I've used it so many times. And two sets of nursing bbs could be a total savior with three littles. Go for it!

AFU: Funny potty update.  Lilah totally knows what the potty is for, since she's been using it intermittently  her entire life so far.  Since she started walking, she's resisted using it, so she only goes in it once every few days or so right now.  But my mom is visiting, and she seems to have decided that she'll use with for my mom (and sometimes with DP), just not with me.  With me, if I take off her diaper in the bathroom, she'll sit happily on the potty without peeing, and then she gets up, runs to another room, and pees on the floor. She's done this like 7 times. I must have reacted too strongly (laughing or correcting) the first few times, because it is clearly a game. I'm not quite sure what to do. I figure I'll try not to react, put her on the potty and remind her that pee goes in the potty, and then move on, right? Other thoughts, wise mamas?

[seraf]

Wishin, making your own book could be pretty cool. Does it have to exactly reflect his situation to start the conversation? I can almost guarantee that all the reading in the world won't tell him all he is going to face with a new sib.

AmandaHope, we had a pause recently. I started sticking Shay in the tub when he declined potty offers. Now I set him on the toilet (can't run away) and we blow bubbles or sing Itsy Bitsy Spider. He now signs his version of Itsy Bitsy when he needs to pee. It looks like "more" so if I ask, "more? Or pee pee?" He does the rain sign that goes with the song. Clear enough, I guess. He still wets his pants plenty, but I like his attempts at communication when they come. Good luck.

[dandylez]

Hi everyone!

I know it’s been a long time and I’m sorry!  Things got really busy towards the end of our NICU stay as we took on more and more of his care and worked on BFing.  But we’re home since Sept 28!! We’re just starting to get into a routine, and I’m stealing 5 minutes while Adair is sleeping to try and catch up. Oh my gods, there’s so much news on here. I’m slowly, slowly, slowly catching up. Please forgive me if I miss anyone or anything.

Cananny: Woah! Triplets! Amazing! I hope you’re feeling well.

Knitting: Great new name! Congrats on your BFP! I hope you’re feeling well too. Oh, I just read the update on the twins!! Yahoo!!

Desert: Welcome to Everleigh!! I hope your time with her so far has been lovely and sweet! She’s beautiful!

Wishin’: Congrats on your BFP!! I hope you’re feeling well too! :)

Tandy: Welcome and congrats!! This is getting to be a busy expecting thread! Yay!

Planet: Welcome to Wylie Blue and congrats to you guys! He’s gorgeous! Really beautiful!

Lisedea: Triplets!!! Oh my! Congrats!!

Cordelia: Welcome!! Congrats on your BFP. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Ok he’s awake.  Will update soon. Missed you guys!

[Cananny]

Dandy ... I'm so happy you have your son home! Read your blog and we atepresringourselves for a nicu stay with triplets you usually have some time in there !!!

Lise how are you feeling when is next dr apt ? Mine is next fri at 16 weeks .. Time seems to go by really fast some days but other days it feels long !
I hope the nausea lets up soon for you

Hey to everyone else !