Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - July, August, September, and now October! - Page 28

[cordelia15]

Welcome easttowest! So glad to see you over this way.

Ugh, want to do more personals but my computer broke and I can't navigate anything on my stupid phone! But all this chat makes me sad we can't have a big get together! I would love to meet folks in person! Only a week and a half until my first dr. appointment and it's hard to wait!

[carmen358]

Sorry about your experience, cananny. I was never weighed once during my entire pregnancy - my midwives didn't do it as part of their care! I did weight myself at home right near the end because I was curious how much I had gained. I agree about finding a different doc...although I would imagine it could be stressful looking for a new doc when you're pregnant with triplets. Good luck!

isa: like starling, we didn't do purees either. The few times we tried apple sauce DD gagged. I'd suggest avocado over banana - banana can be constipating. DD LOVED avocado for a really long time. We went through one a day at least! We didn't start until about 7 months and went very slow - she was nursing a ton and was doing fine on the ol' growth charts so we weren't in a hurry.
 

[lisedea]

Seraf--I think I remember you saying something about feeling Shay really early on--how early was it? I SWEAR that I felt fluttery movement this morning--totally different than any other "stomach feeling" I have ever had....definitely not gas. 9 weeks just seems so early.

[seraf]

Lise, 9 weeks seems reasonable for 3. Movement is super fun. I want to say I felt movement at 10 or 12? Ari was the earliest at 7, I'm not sure how that's possible tho.

Ida, one warning about banana, when she poops it will look like she has worms. Freaked us out. Avocado gagged Shay for a long time but he loved banana.

Dandy, how is it going being home? How big is he? Are y'all able to nurse?

Nos, I just noticed the title change. If no one else wants the thread, I would be happy to take over in November. Is everything ok over there?

East, welcome. Not much to do but eat and sleep. Starling's suggestions are great, too.

Pokey, yay! Congratulations! Are you our mod? Or someone else's? I'll try to stay in line.

Posting from my phone, so no pictures.

[darthtunaqueen]

I'm threadcrashing.  So with all the multiples, I feel like I need to pipe in as the Level III NICU nurse (If Adair had been born in my city, I would've looked after him!  And then his mamas would have been counting his fingers and toes to make sure I hadn't nibbled them off... mwahahahaha).  

1) If you can, learn proper hand expression technique and start ASAP post birth (within the first hour is best, within 6 hours is considered "gold standard" in our unit).  I *cannot* stress this enough!!  The very best video is the Stanford Hand Expression video here.  Bookmark it, pay attention, practice on your partner (do NOT do this to yourself when you are still pregnant as it releases oxytocin which causes uterine contractions).  The little bandaids are for visual marking.  Express/stimulate every 3 hours.  The earlier you start to work on your milk supply, the higher your milk supply will be.  (This video is *fabulous* for all lactating humans.  I plan to try hand expression exclusively in the early days if I end up inducing lactation, just to see how effective it is).  

2) If your babies arrive before 35 weeks, consider investing in something like this, which allows you to hook the flange of your pump and use your hands to massage your milk ducts.  You will keep up your milk supply by massaging and working out the milk.  If you can, pump at the bedside, or have a picture and one of their sleepers with you.  They did a (little) study on pumping aids (pictures, smell, visuals, etc) and having something that triggers your brain improves milk production.  And listening to calming music.  

3) Stock your freezer with meals.  If the babies (god forbid) come out way too early (24 weeks) and you haven't had time to prep, when people ask "what can I do?", tell them you want freezer meals.  Or laundry.  Don't by shy, don't try to be nice.  You need to focus on functioning and not throttling your DP/DW/DH/baby(ies) nurse.  

4) Understand and accept that high stress levels, sleep deprivation, dehydration and separation of mom and baby are *brutal* on a milk supply!  If you notice a decrease in your pumping volumes, get help right away, either through your babies nurse(s) or the LC.  You CAN take domperidone AND fenugreek AND blessed thistle all at the same time.  Give your milk supply at least 2 weeks before you start worrying about volumes.  If you are really sick after birth or bleed a lot during delivery, your milk will take longer to come in.  If your babies are pre-35 weeks, it can take up to five or six days for your milk to come in!!

5) NICU is a gruelling, soul sucking, generally fairly traumatizing experience.  It's OK.  It's normal.  Make sure you talk to a counsellor after you're home and settled.  Some mamas have terrible PTSD from NICU, others are totally fine.

But, ya'll are going to get to 36 weeks a piece and spend absolutely no time in NICU.  Right???????  ;)

I absolutely *love* my job, I love the babies, the parents, everything.  I love watching them grow (getting pictures of our former NICU babies is the absolute best thing ever).  You will be amazed at how fast they grow and develop, yet every day will seem like it's taking FOREVER.  Celebrate every single milestone.  

Peace out, yos!  :D

[KSDoulaMama]

Originally Posted by darthtunaqueen 

I'm threadcrashing.  So with all the multiples, I feel like I need to pipe in as the Level III NICU nurse (If Adair had been born in my city, I would've looked after him!  And then his mamas would have been counting his fingers and toes to make sure I hadn't nibbled them off... mwahahahaha).  

1) If you can, learn proper hand expression technique and start ASAP post birth (within the first hour is best, within 6 hours is considered "gold standard" in our unit).  I *cannot* stress this enough!!  The very best video is the Stanford Hand Expression video here.  Bookmark it, pay attention, practice on your partner (do NOT do this to yourself when you are still pregnant as it releases oxytocin which causes uterine contractions).  The little bandaids are for visual marking.  Express/stimulate every 3 hours.  The earlier you start to work on your milk supply, the higher your milk supply will be.  (This video is *fabulous* for all lactating humans.  I plan to try hand expression exclusively in the early days if I end up inducing lactation, just to see how effective it is).  

2) If your babies arrive before 35 weeks, consider investing in something like this, which allows you to hook the flange of your pump and use your hands to massage your milk ducts.  You will keep up your milk supply by massaging and working out the milk.  If you can, pump at the bedside, or have a picture and one of their sleepers with you.  They did a (little) study on pumping aids (pictures, smell, visuals, etc) and having something that triggers your brain improves milk production.  And listening to calming music.  

3) Stock your freezer with meals.  If the babies (god forbid) come out way too early (24 weeks) and you haven't had time to prep, when people ask "what can I do?", tell them you want freezer meals.  Or laundry.  Don't by shy, don't try to be nice.  You need to focus on functioning and not throttling your DP/DW/DH/baby(ies) nurse.  

4) Understand and accept that high stress levels, sleep deprivation, dehydration and separation of mom and baby are *brutal* on a milk supply!  If you notice a decrease in your pumping volumes, get help right away, either through your babies nurse(s) or the LC.  You CAN take domperidone AND fenugreek AND blessed thistle all at the same time.  Give your milk supply at least 2 weeks before you start worrying about volumes.  If you are really sick after birth or bleed a lot during delivery, your milk will take longer to come in.  If your babies are pre-35 weeks, it can take up to five or six days for your milk to come in!!

5) NICU is a gruelling, soul sucking, generally fairly traumatizing experience.  It's OK.  It's normal.  Make sure you talk to a counsellor after you're home and settled.  Some mamas have terrible PTSD from NICU, others are totally fine.

But, ya'll are going to get to 36 weeks a piece and spend absolutely no time in NICU.  Right???????  ;)

I absolutely *love* my job, I love the babies, the parents, everything.  I love watching them grow (getting pictures of our former NICU babies is the absolute best thing ever).  You will be amazed at how fast they grow and develop, yet every day will seem like it's taking FOREVER.  Celebrate every single milestone.  

Peace out, yos!  :D

... and as a postpartum doula (with lotsa multiples experience,) lactation counselor, and exclusive pumper for my surrogate babe... I agree with all of these!

[darthtunaqueen]

Originally Posted by KSDoulaMama 

... and as a postpartum doula (with lotsa multiples experience,) lactation counselor, and exclusive pumper for my surrogate babe... I agree with all of these!

Yahtzee!!!  :D 

I have more on actual "NICU Survival", but I usually wait to dole out that piece of helpful advice (accumulated from NICU parents past and present) until you're actually living in the NICU, since the experience is very different depending on baby's gestational age and how sick they are.  The milk production is something that I wish wish wish all our parents had access to before ending up in the NICU, as it sometimes gets missed.  Partners (or doulas) can start hand expression if birth mama is too sick or exhausted too.  I've also heard of partners sucking at the breast to stimulate, so you can try that depending on your comfort.  It does defeat the purpose of collecting colostrum.  ;)

Pumping is difficult, exhausting and time consuming, but worth it!  :) 

[cordelia15]

Hi all. Bad morning woke up to cramps and some bright red spotting. Think this is not good. Ay chance this is normal? I know brown spotting is usually okay but not bright red. TMI warning, put my ,finger inside and there was more blood. This is bad bad news right? Any good thoughts appreciated.

[seraf]

Cordelia, many of us have had healthy pregnancies that included bright red blood. If you have a doctor or midwife, they can peek and see what's causing the bleeding. There are many possible causes, not all terrible, but worth knowing about.  Good luck.

[cordelia15]

Originally Posted by seraf 

Cordelia, many of us have had healthy pregnancies that included bright red blood. If you have a doctor or midwife, they can peek and see what's causing the bleeding. There are many possible causes, not all terrible, but worth knowing about.  Good luck.

Thanks seraf, I know for other people I would jump to the "you don't know until you know " thing but for myself it is so hard! Waiting for my Dr to open so I can call. Thanks for the well wishes and hope!

[nosreves]

Cordelia -- i know you must be freaking out right now.  i just wanted to send some  and positive vibes your way.    

[wishin'&hopin']

Cordelia--the early pregnancy packet our RE sent us gives statistics on bleeding during pregnancy and an astonishing percentage of women who go on to have healthy pregnancies bleed at some point during pregnancy.  Hope those stat's are in your favor--HUGS to you.

[seraf]

Yeah, I'm sorry you're bleeding.  Sara had bleeding because she had an overgrowth of bacteria. I had bleeding because ? At first it was called a threatened miscarriage, but now I suspect it was that my placenta implanted too low and it had to move as the baby grew. I bled 3 times with my first pregnancy, the third being the worse. Several girls had a little pocket of blood between the placenta and uterus. I hope your blood reason is not the big bad one.

[KnittingTigers]

Just sending some love to Cordelia, and hoping that you get some good answers. We'll be thinking of you.
 

[JustAnotherJenny]

Cordelia: Sending lots of good thoughts your way.  There are lots of things that could cause bright red bleeding other than the big bad kind.  I know lots of women who've had bleeding throughout pregnancy and had healthy babies.  Here's hoping yours is benign, too.  <3

[easttowest]

Thinking of you, Cordelia. It is much more likely to be nothing than something, but I am sure it is scary as hell. Let's us know when you get some answers, and best wishes to you.

[cordelia15]

Thanks everyone! I am actually crying as I read your sweet responses. Going to the Dr at four so hoping for some good news or at least to know either way. Cramps are getting stronger though. At least DH stayed home with me today which is wonderffttul.

[erinTNgirl]

Cordelia- I am thread-crashing for now to tell you how much I am thinking of you! Sending good vibes your way for sure.

[pokeyAC]

cordelia - I am also sending good vibes your way for a sticky babe.  What everyone else said is true.  I understand being frightened though.  I hope everything is just fine. 

[pokeyAC]

seraf - I have not technically been assigned any specific forums to mod so I am kind of floating around, but I'm not worried about you. All you queer folks are lovely, civil people.