Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - July, August, September, and now October! - Page 29

[cordelia15]

Hi all! Popping on for an update. Saw my doc today and good news is I am not currently having a MC but she did say that my sac did not look great so to try to rest and not lift things which is hard advice to a SAHM of a toddler. Also she said that there were TWO babies in there, which also could change since I am so early still. So did a bunch of blood work and will see what that says tomorrow. Right now fingers crossed and trying to drink lots of water.

[KnittingTigers]

Cordelia, glad you got good news. Try to take it easy and relax (so much easier said than done, I know, especially with a little one). FWIW, my best friend had massive bleeding in her first trimester, was told that there was a 50-75% chance of miscarriage, and is holding her healthy baby as we speak.

Also, more twins?!? You weren't even using drugs, were you? Wow, this place is contagious!

I'll be thinking lots of good thoughts for you.

[easttowest]

What a giant sigh of relief! I have been thinking about you all day, so glad everything is alright. And twins?! Oh goodness, I am scared to find out now; seems like a requirement around here! Get some rest, and happy baby thoughts.

[JustAnotherJenny]

Cordelia: I'm glad to hear that things are okay, even if they are tentative.  Fingers crossed for those two little sticky babies!

[wishin'&hopin']

Cordelia--fingers crossed for sticky babies, and as the SAHM of a 2.5 year old--good luck with taking it easy and not lifting anything (or anyone!) heavy!  Have you broken the television seal with Kipper (totally benign British cartoon about a dog and his friends) or something yet?  That may buy you some quiet rest if it's something that works for your family.

And E2W--Don't worry too much--queer folk get pregnant one at a time too--I have a singleton toddler to prove it!  But, since we hope for 2-3 kiddos, 2 at a time would certainly have been more efficient!  

[seraf]

Cordelia. Wow! I'm glad to hear all is well for now. One of my strangest tips for avoiding lifting a toddler is to kneel and have them step up into my knee. It works well for water fountains.

[pokeyAC]

cordelia - That's great and exciting news!  I'm so glad you and the babies are ok.  Sending healthy sticky vibes your way!  Take care.

[wishin'&hopin']

Nos--glad to "hear" your voice up thread a bit.  How are you doing?  

AFM--DS, 2.5, fell out of his bed last night for the first time.  There was much weeping and gnashing--and a conundrum b/c we would happily stay to comfort him (offered to lay with him, to lay on the floor next to his bed, to rub his back, etc) but our continuing presence after the initial check in clearly made it worse for him.  He kept trying to tell us to go away but then would call for us moments later.  He is just a kid who needs his space to pull himself together--which, as we sat downstairs listening to him cry, is actually really hard to give him/figure out.  It's been challenging lately b/c his cognitive/social abilities are amazing but his verbal skills are not up to the level of being able to say what he needs/what's going on (we have a speech evaluation coming up in a couple of weeks).  Otherwise, DW got to hear the gummi bear's heartbeat with a doppler at work yesterday (just for 3 seconds or so).  Her intake at the midwife is next week and there won't be any u/s or doppler at the appt and we were (me, really) anxious about it.  So, the little bear is still in there!  I keep wanting to jump through this pregnancy to the other side where I get to actually parent the little.  I'm the SAHM in our family and one of the things that is proving to be an issue for me is bottle feeding in public.  We don't plan to have me relactate...but I nursed DS up until maybe a month and a half ago (mostly self weaned at that point) and I never gave him a bottle (he would reluctantly take one when I was working part time his first year).  It just seems so ODD to give a baby a bottle, ykwim?  Especially with all of the emotional energy around the issue of nursing/bottle feeding (the next one will get expressed breast milk when DW goes back to work).  

[seraf]

Wishin, sorry about the fall from bed. A just moved from a loft bed (with rails) to a normal sized bed and she falls out at least once a night. She just wakes up on the floor and gets back in bed.

I understand where you are with the bottles, kind of like you're wearing a sign in opposition of everything you're working hard for. Back when I nannied, I realized how much easier nursing is. I had 2 one year olds and a newborn but it uses both hands to feed a baby a bottle versus hands free nursing. We use glass bottles. When Sara was pregnant and had to deal with bottles out and about, the hippies still recognized us.

The boys are sick AGAIN. Shay spiked a fever last night, peed in every diaper I had stashed by the bed and nursed all night long. At some point I had to go in search of diapers but I was afraid to turn on a light lest I wake the barely sleeping boys. So Shay wore a couple of T-shirts as diapers and I am running 3 loads of diaper laundry this morning (I'm at the tail end of my big week to work). Oops.

[KnittingTigers]

Wishin, as someone who endured huge breastfeeding trials (I could write a novel), I eventually had to make my peace with bottle feeding in public. Because I had supply issues (I had a breast reduction when I was 21), breastfeeding was not easier for me than bottle feeding- it involved a contraption with a bag of donor milk or formula that hung around my neck, a tube that had to be taped to my nipple in just the right way, and it would take my DD over an hour just to eat four ounces, with a lot of popping off, crying, and readjusting of equipment along the way. Trying to do this in public was, literally, a nightmare. (This is not to discourage anyone who wants to supplement exclusively at the breast- lots of people do it and it's fine- it just wasn't for me.) Anyway, I felt really self-conscious at first about bottle feeding, and every time I saw a nursing mother I felt like I had to explain why I wasn't nursing as well. The truth is though, no one cared. You can always do what I did, which was say very loudly to whomever I was talking to in the middle of the cafe, "Okay, time to give O some EXPRESSED BREASTMILK now!", but most people will just think you're nuts.:)

On a side note, I am super freaked about the idea of breastfeeding twins. Just trying to breastfeed one was such an emotional rollercoaster that only now, four years later, can I think back on it without crying. I felt ready to try again with one. Two scares the living daylights out of me.
 

Cordelia, hope you're feeling okay today. Thinking of you.

[prettyisa]

Hi, everyone!

First off, EasttoWest--I realized that I had misread your initial post and that your partner is the one carrying the baby--congrats again!

Seraf—I’ll keep that in mind! I make enough banana bread that I like to think I could handle seeing those threads rationally, but honestly, who knows? And I hope your boys get better soon! You guys must be dying over there—come on, kids, fight the virus!

Lise—have you felt them moving again? I can’t remember exactly when I first felt Edie, but it was definitely different than gas!

Cordelia—I’m thinking good thoughts for you! I hope you get increasingly better news and some sticky little beans in there!

Wishin—one of my friends just posted an idea to facebook about cheap bed bumpers—pool noodles! You can put them under the sheet and they make a low little ledge that might discourage bed-falling. I thought it was genius, and if it doesn’t work you’re only out about five bucks for the pair. Also, don’t feel too badly about the bottles—you’ll know what you’ve got in there! And I feel like anyone judging you for keeping your child fed can go to hell anyway.

AFM—well, we handed Edie an apple slice the other day and got some really good, disgusted facial expressions for our efforts. Not particularly interested. I was going to do banana, but the apple was in my hand, so I gave it to her. Nope. I also realized that we need a diaper sprayer before we really get into food for real, so we’re going to hold off until it arrives in the mail. She was up three times last night, though, so I’m starting to think that more food might be a better idea. That was unusual, but it’s really hard to get through the next day.

[wishin'&hopin']

Thanks everyone, so glad to have others who "get it" (whatever that it is!).  Knittingtigers- just thought you needed a hug :)  Seraf--I hope the creeping crud creeps away quickly.  Prettyisa--hope today passes quickly and that you all get some sleep tonight!  

[KnittingTigers]

Hey everyone!

Just wanted to pop in briefly with some great news. I met one of our two midwives yesterday, and she was fabulous! I feel so excited about my birth now! When I had DD, I saw the same midwife throughout my pregnancy, and knew that she would be there at the birth. Every OB practice I've visited here has been crazy 12-person call rotations, or crazy medical scare tactics. So, I'm so delighted to have found this group. There are two midwives, both of whom will attend a twin birth. They have OBs for backup, but even if I need to get a c-section (if baby A is breech), at least one of the midwives will be there. In talking to them, they just made me feel so normal about my pregnancy, and treated having a vaginal birth like the obvious outcome. Such a difference from all the OBs I've seen. And, I'll be at a better hospital than the one in town- lower c-section rates, the option to labor in the birthing tub, midwives with privileges. As I was driving there yesterday, I was thinking, "this is going to have to be good for me to make this 45 minute drive for every appointment." Afterwards, all I could think was, totally worth it! I go back on Friday for my 12-week ultrasound and to meet the other midwife. So excited!

Cordelia, any news? Thinking of you.

easttowest, I'm not sure if my note to you got lost a couple pages back- as soon as your wife has her pregnancy confirmed, you should be able to add her to your insurance, effective immediately, because pregnancy is a Qualifying Life Event. Talk to your HR folks, but you shouldn't need to wait for open enrollment.

Everyone else, thinking of you!

[JustAnotherJenny]

knitting tigers: I'm so glad that you found a practice that you feel comfortable with!  :-)

[easttowest]

Tigers, I am glad you found such a great practice and are excited about your birth plan! Such good news. Thanks for the advice, I did check with hr, and while birth is a qualifying life event, pregnancy isn't. But it's okay. Only two and a half months, and you barely need any care in your first trimester anyway - if everything goes well, which we pray it does!

AFU, first ultrasound scheduled for November 20. So anxious! Can't wait.

[kateadelle]

Hi all! So sorry I have been MIA for the last couple of weeks. DP and I got married last weekend, so I have been super busy with that. I have been reading and keeping up with everyone's news, though! Glad to see some new people here. This is going to be a brief check in since I am at work and still playing check-up, but I wanted to pop in and say hi.  I hope to be more active with posting around here very soon. Here is a photo of us at the wedding (I am about 31 weeks pregnant here).

[hallerm]

Kateadelle,

I am completely new here but I just wanted to say how much I love your picture and-- congratulations! We talk a lot about "how bad would it be to pregnant at your wedding" and I wondered if it would be possible to look this cute as a pregnant bride and you completely confirm my hunch! Congratulations and good luck!

[wishin'&hopin']

Knittin'--so glad you've found a midwife and a plan that makes you feel better!  

AFM--which is really "as for darling wife", she's 10 weeks yesterday...and has an impressive baby bump (there was only one at our early ultrasound, but the bump raises questions!).  

[cordelia15]

Knitting that is amazing news about your midwives! I had a c section on my first birth and would love to avoid that second go round and with possible twins I know that is harder. That must make you feel so much better!

Wishin.. You could just get some labels for your bottles that say breast is best or something funny but in the end I think you will know what you are giving and that is most important. Hope no more falls from bed

Easttowest nov 20 will be so soon! Exciting,

Seraf hope your brood is feeling better and thanks for the advice. I love the kneeling trick!

Kateadelle congrats and that picture is amazing!

Afu just trying to rest and hoping hoping hoping. Feel like I am being a crap mom to my son but what can you do? Got blood results back and I think my progesterone should be higher but the nurse did not seem concerned. Hope the dr. looked at it too. Does anyone know if 13 is really low for 5w 2 days? HCG was really high though so less worried about that. Had just one little spotting bit today but went to acupuncture and hopefully she helped. Got some extra stop bleeding herbs so that's good.

[lisedea]

Hey all...not much time to write in because I am so drained.

Sunday I dreamed that I miscarried all of the babies...and then woke up to light pink spotting. I ended up going into the doctor's the next day and all heartbeats were fine. This morning while I work I started spotting bright red. I am totally freaking out. I went home at lunch but have not yet called my doctor because I was told that unless it is like a period, there is nothing to worry about. I can't even imagine that--it seems that bright red blood should be considered serious. If I still am spotting tomorrow, I will call I guess. Ugg...I hate how emotional this whole process is. You just never know when something could go wrong!

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.