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Queer & Pregnant & Parenting - July, August, September, and now October! - Page 30

post #581 of 641
I just read back on Cordelia's comments...makes me feel a bit better. I am glad things are looking up for you, Cordelia!
post #582 of 641

I am one of those women who has had spotting throughout her pregnancy (which I now know is due to a low-lying placenta). It started at about 12 weeks and has continued throughout my pregnancy off and on. I am not going to say that it doesn't suck each and every time it reoccurs, but the baby is healthy and has developed totally normally. I am thinking of you mamas who have had some bleeding and hoping that everything turns out ok. I know how stressful it can be, and that you are going to worry no matter what,  but try to keep focused on the fact that bleeding does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with the baby. 

post #583 of 641
Lisedea just wanted to send you some love! It really is terrifying. Just had a spot more tonight and now I am too anxious to sleep. Try not to worry which I know is near impossible but I have been hearing from so many people that spotting is normal! For me I am more worried from my questionable U/S. hang in there and stay home from work tomorrow and rest and drink water!
post #584 of 641

Adding my words of support to the bunch you've gotten here, lisedea.  Keeping you in my thoughts, and I hope you can take it easy and feel a lot better soon.  Seeing all three heartbeats must be a great sign.  

post #585 of 641

Lisedea--I hope the spotting has stopped.  I told Cordelia when she initially told us she was spotting that the early pregnancy packet from our RE gave statistics on spotting in early pregnancy--and basically it's really common and not a predictor of miscarriage (mostly b/c so many women spot/bleed in early pregnancy as part of their healthy pregnancy).  So hug2.gifto you and I hope you got a good night's sleep.  

post #586 of 641

Lise, sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts. I mentioned this earlier, but my BFF had massive bleeding late in her first trimester (like, puddles of blood on the floor), and things turned out just fine. We'll all be thinking of you and the babies today.


Cordelia, hope you're feeling okay today. I don't know much about progesterone, but I tend to be the kind of pushy patient who calls back and says that I need to talk to the doctor. If it gives you peace of mind, be an advocate. And, I feel you on being a crappy parent. I'm not a SAHM, but I still feel like my parenting capacity has taken a nosedive since I got pregnant. DD is watching more PBS Kids than she probably should, and I'm trying to make my peace with it.


Wishin, what if we designed you some bottle cozies that looked like boobs? I don't know why the thought of this is cracking me up so much, but it totally is. I might do this myself as well.


Kateadelle, beautiful picture! Congrats on your wedding! You guys both look fabulous.


Cananny, how are you doing?


easttowest, hope your wife is feeling okay, and figuring out stuff with the student health clinic.


AFM, I'm just tired. Last night I kept falling asleep while reading DD her bedtime story. Like literally, my eyes kept closing involuntarily. As soon as she was down, I collapsed on the couch for two hours. Even with that extra nap, I'm exhausted today. Our campus is on fall break, and my office is completely deserted. I may end up sleeping on the sofa before long...

post #587 of 641

Big hugs, Lise. I hope everything is ok. Try and relax - distract yourself if you have to. hug2.gif

post #588 of 641
Originally Posted by lisedea View Post

Hey all...not much time to write in because I am so drained.
Sunday I dreamed that I miscarried all of the babies...and then woke up to light pink spotting. I ended up going into the doctor's the next day and all heartbeats were fine. This morning while I work I started spotting bright red. I am totally freaking out. I went home at lunch but have not yet called my doctor because I was told that unless it is like a period, there is nothing to worry about. I can't even imagine that--it seems that bright red blood should be considered serious. If I still am spotting tomorrow, I will call I guess. Ugg...I hate how emotional this whole process is. You just never know when something could go wrong!
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

Lise, I'm sorry you're so stressed.  When bleeding starts, it takes a while to stop.


Originally Posted by cordelia15 View Post
Afu just trying to rest and hoping hoping hoping. Feel like I am being a crap mom to my son but what can you do? 

I understand.  It is so exhausting in the first trimester.  I was thinking recently how lucky it was that most of the multiples had no older sibs, because it's so much harder to take care of someone when you're struggling to take care of yourself.


Originally Posted by kateadelle View Post

Hi all! So sorry I have been MIA for the last couple of weeks. DP and I got married last weekend, so I have been super busy with that.




Originally Posted by easttowest View Post

AFU, first ultrasound scheduled for November 20. So anxious! Can't wait.



Originally Posted by KnittingTigers View Post

Just wanted to pop in briefly with some great news. I met one of our two midwives yesterday, and she was fabulous! I feel so excited about my birth now! 

Yay! 45 minutes is not bad at all.


Over here, Soren finally got Shay's fever at bedtime last night. We went to see the president yesterday, but we really only got to hear him.

post #589 of 641
Lise—Sending good, healthy baby vibes to you! Hopefully it’ll just turn out to be nothing. With three of them in there they’ve got to be jostling things around a bit, right?

Cordelia—I wish I knew anything about the progesterone numbers. I’m hoping good things for you! And don’t worry about your son too much. This will be a short break from your usual parenting and once everything is stable and you feel safe you’ll be able to be there for him again, you know?

Wishin’—thanks! It hasn’t been any better, and I can see the beginnings of cold #3 (-sigh-) but on the up side, the diaper sprayer should be waiting at home for us tonight, so baby is going to get some bananas for dinner!

Knitting—that sounds like an awesome practice! I’m so glad you found it! smile.gif And I love the idea of boob cozies. Especially if paired with the Tommee Tippee bottles, which are already kind of boob-shaped. wink1.gif

Kateadelle—Congratulations! You both look amazing and so happy! Are you going on a honeymoon?

AFM—It’s Edie’s sixmonthaversary! I can NOT believe it’s been a whole six months since we had her. Amazing. We dressed her up in a fancy romper and took her first set of height measurements against the height board I made. I don’t think they were very accurate, but there was something really moving to me about putting her up against the wall and marking off her height. I remember my parents doing that to me on and off over the course of my childhood, so being the adult in the equation was pretty emotional in some ways. I keep thinking of silly half-birthday things we could do. Half a candle on the banana (removed before we hand it over, of course)! Singing half the birthday song!
post #590 of 641

lisedea - I hope you got some rest last night and that you get some reassuring news soon to let you know the babies are ok. Bleeding could be scary at anytime even if it's perfectly fine.  hug2.gif Sending healthy vibes your way.


cordelia - I hope the bleeding has stopped and that your little embryos are growing strong.  I would ask for a progesterone supplement if I were you.  Progesterone fluctuates a lot even during one day so you might get different results if you tested often, but it sounds like it would be good to have a little bit more.  Sending sticky growing vibes your way.


kateadelle -Howdy Neighbor!  Congratulations on your wedding!  You both look fantastic!  I love a lesbian shotgun wedding!  I have a Facebook page called What to Wear to Your Queer Wedding, and I love to share wedding photos.  Feel free to share yours there too.  I'm also glad to hear your baby is growing strong and healthy despite some the bleeding.


isa -- Happy sixmonthaversary to Edie!  I hope she enjoys that banana and you enjoy your new diaper sprayer!


seraf - I hope the babies are feeling better soon.  It must be tough to have two sick little ones at the same time.


carmen - wave.gifI hope everything is well with you and the family.


knittingtigers - I'm starting to get tired too.  I imagine it's a lot tougher for you.  I hope you get lots of rest on your break.  I'm sure DD will be fine


wishin'- Congrats on the baby bump fun!  Are the papparazzi hounding poor DW?  lol.gif


cananny - I hope you are doing well today.


AFM - Got the results of the 4th beta today - 4855!  I am feeling progressively more tired so I think these things are related.  It's a double-edged sword to be monitored so closely.  We both get nervous every time we wait and then call to get the results, but then we feel so much better knowing that things are moving along well.  Sometimes I think it would be less emotional to just not do any testing and wait and see what happens.  Oh well.  The monitoring should be over soon, and I can go to being a normal pregnant person.  I'm just so happy to be here at all.

post #591 of 641
Hey all...thanks for the nice words. I am still spotting but not nearly as badly...it seems to really be slowing down. Do you think it could have started from my violent puking?? I ended up calling my doctor the following morning and she put me on bed rest. So...I am laying around bored out of my mind. Scares me when I think about the long bed rest in my future. Ahh! Anyway, my next appointment isn't until the 30th so unless things take a turn for the worse, I will just have to hope that things are going okay. 10 weeks today! I will post a pic later today since we have started taking weekly ones.

kate--Congrats on your wedding!

Isa--I also cannot believe she is 6 months old. Seriously? Weren't you just trying to get pregnant? wink1.gif

Knitting--Oh my goodness...I am so happy I didn't have pools of blood. I would have COMPLETELY panicked! I did enough panicking with the spotting... I have been taking short naps at work during my prep. I lock my door and turn off the lights and lay in the reading corner. smile.gif I figure if I don't do it, I will not be able to make it through the day.

Cordelia--How are you doing?

And Pokey! Great beta!
post #592 of 641
Lise--I'm glad things are looking better! I just sent Cananny her first round of books--PM your address and some reading preferences and I'll go scour the review shelf and see what I can do for you. I know there are lots of thrillers and books on religion at the moment, but I can find you some fiction and short stories and memoirs and self-help guides, too. Whatever seems interesting. I can't vouch for the quality, but I tend to read what shows up over there almost exclusively (too lazy to walk downstairs and check things out) and have found some really interesting things.
post #593 of 641

Thanks for everyone's kind words and well wishes!

Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post


kateadelle -Howdy Neighbor!  Congratulations on your wedding!  You both look fantastic!  I love a lesbian shotgun wedding!  I have a Facebook page called What to Wear to Your Queer Wedding, and I love to share wedding photos.  Feel free to share yours there too.  I'm also glad to hear your baby is growing strong and healthy despite some the bleeding.

I am also very fond of a lesbian shotgun wedding and am sincerely happy that I got to have one! Congrats also on the great beta and hope you get to be a "normal" pregnant person soon! Although, I don't know if the worry will stop once you are less closely monitored. I kept setting these deadlines in my head like "I will worry less once I get past 12 weeks" or "I will worry less once I get past 26 weeks and the rate of survival for preemies goes up". And then I had the realization that I was not going to stop worrying for at least the next 40 years!


Originally Posted by prettyisa View Post
Kateadelle—Congratulations! You both look amazing and so happy! Are you going on a honeymoon?

No honeymoon, but since we went out of town for the wedding, it kind of felt like a honeymoon - or at least what a honeymoon would feel like if you had all your closest friends along with you! I love the half-birthday celebration tradition! How lovely to be able to carry that on with your own child!


Lise - glad that the spotting is slowing down. I hope that it goes away completely soon and doesn't come back! How long are you on bedrest for this round? 

post #594 of 641
kate--Just until the spotting stops, I think.

isa--Thanks! I will PM you.

Here I am....10 weeks.

post #595 of 641
Lise hang in there ! I'm dreading the bed rest I'm super active and though I enjoy being lazy at times... 7-9 weeks maybe more of it might be a bit much... Luckily ill have books to read and a million onesies and diapers to fold:)

Isa... A shipment you say !!! Ohhhh very exciting

Hi everyone else

Afm... 16 w tomorrow... Had an appt yesterday babies doing well hearts all over 150...
No guesses on their sexes yet:( I'm saying two boys and a girl ! I've developed edema ( my feet and ankles are swelling and it moved into my wrists.. The wrists are quite painful... Dr said its common and will go away after birth .. My Bp is completely normal and he said I could wear braces for my wrists if it gets bad ..
I see him every two weeks now
We are having our baby shower nov 10 .. A bit earlier than usual because dec is not a good month for these things and ill be on bed rest part of dec and all of jan and then babies in febuary ! So it left a few options for our shower !
We also have two foster babies they are 10 weeks and 19 months.. They def will be our last placement for a while.. It's quite challenging to b pregnant with triplets and help care for two kids .. They were supposed to b here a week bit looking like it will b two to three .... It was to heartbreaking to not take them ....
post #596 of 641

Cananny, congratulations on 16 weeks, how exciting!  Sorry to hear about your edema.  I had a major case of it in the last month of my pregnancy, and it kind of took over my life for a little bit there (just because whenever I wasn't working, I was either laying with my feet up over my heart, soaking them in a cool Epsom salt bath, or hanging out in the lake, trying to keep it under control!).  I'm so glad to hear that your BP is normal!  That's great news.  :) My midwife got concerned that I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia when I got my edema; my BP was high for me, not really in the danger zone but since it was elevated from its usual level she scared the living daylights out of me and had me monitoring my BP every day for a week!  But everything turned out fine! :)


Lise, cute bump!!! Hang in there.  May your resting be filled with interesting reading & conversation!  Thinking of you.


Kate, congratulations!!!  Cute photo!  You guys look great. 


Isa, Congratulations on 6 month b-day!  Amazing!  Tomorrow is Wylie's 6-week birthday.  Getting a tiny taste of how fast time flies!  Enjoy your half song and half candle!


Seraf, sorry to hear about the sick kids. :(  Hang in there and may everyone get well soon!


We're doing great over here.  Wylie is 6 weeks old tomorrow!  He is more like a baby now and less like a cute little alien. :)  Every day is filled with milestones and amazing cuteness.  He is awesome!!!  Also, he is mysterious, giving us lots to wonder about and new things to keep trying out.  He's started having a predictable fussy period every evening around 7pm, which involves uncomfortable, fussy nursing and lots of wailing. :(  We're thankful that it's only usually for one part of the day!  He is starting to have more and more calm, quiet, alert awake periods, which is so fun.  He is gaining weight well, too!  Yesterday, DP gave him his first bottle of breastmilk, and it was a huge success!  He seemed a little confused and mildly irritated at first, but when he realized what was inside of it, he latched right onto the bottle nipple and drank happily away.  Now that we know he can do that, I might schedule some bodywork appointments so I can start feeling better physically - I'm doing well overall, but very sore all over from suddenly spending so much time carrying a baby while bouncing, rocking, or swaying, and having him in the carrier so often, and just generally using my body in a completely new way than I ever have before.  It's funny, even though I know I need to do self care, the thought of being away from him for more than half an hour makes me secretly panic just a little bit!  I just love him so much and don't really want to be away from him yet, even though people have been starting to tell me that I need a break. :)


Hello to all of you!  Take care. xoxo

post #597 of 641
Thread Starter 

i'm soo behind on this thread that i don't even know how to catch up....


kate -- the wedding pics are gorgeous! little J. is going to love looking at those and realizing she was a part of it all.  you look incredible in your dress, btw (i can't even imagine the photographic disaster that would ensue if i were to try something like that at this point in my pregnancy.)  have you thought of any Parisian goodies you'd like yet?


wishin -- thanks for asking about me :) .  here i wouldn't have a problem at all with bottle-feeding my baby in public, but given the fact that strangers have said thing to me and DP when we were in the States, i might feel a bit reluctant to do so there.  there's far too much judgement going on.  i totally second what Isa said about it all...   how's the pregnancy going so far?


seraf -- sure, you should totally take over threadkeeping duties next month.  i mean, four kids, a full-time job and doing pretty much everything at home all the time doesn't sound like enough to keep you busy.  :P   thanks for offering, though :) .  


lise -- wow, that's an incredible (and beautiful) bump for 10 weeks!  has the spotting stopped?  i didn't get around to saying anything before, but i've been sending you all kinds of healthy, sticky bean vibes since you posted.  i hope you're doing better and are off bedrest now.  


cananny -- congrats on making it to 16 weeks!  almost halfway there!  i hope you get a chance to rest some and take good care of yourself and those three little ones.  it sounds like you're trying out for the title of superwoman!  


knitting -- saw the announcement on facebook and am sooo happy that you and the babies are doing well.  :) have you told O?


pokey -- welcome to the other side, woman!  we were waiting for you!   when's your first u/s?  i know exactly what you mean about the nervousness with all the monitoring.  unfortunately, it doesn't really seem to go away until you can feel the little one(s??) moving on a regular basis.  at least that how it was for me.  and i used to think the tww was hard...ha.  anyway, i'm glad you're finally here.


cordelia -- how are you doing now?  has the spotting completely stopped?  sending *hugs* and sticky vibes your way.


wave.gif and sorry to anyone else i might have missed.


afm...i'll be 32 weeks on Wednesday yikes.gif .  the little viking is still moving around like crazy, and i think i am starting to feel and see individual body parts sticking out here and there. if i put my hands on my belly, he comes up under them and pushes or kicks in response.  love.gif i'm already in love with this little guy.  


i've been on maternity-related sick leave since mid-September (after having the whole summer off), and given the mobility issues/pain i'm having from the SPD, i am feeling so thankful to be in a country with socialized medicine.  if i walk too much or stand for too long, i end up hobbling around in terrible pain for days afterwards.  i finally saw this incredible osteopath who adjusted me and gave me some very helpful exercises to do, and i've been doing a bit better since.   i also am taking this pool-based birth prep class that is just fabulous.  the instructor has been working with pregnant women and instructing midwives for 35 years.  she's also very AP-oriented (encouraging babywearing, breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping, etc....very unusual things here in France.)  each week we practice breathing techniques that she says will help us avoid epidurals and episotomies (if that's what we want) and do various exercises to soften our perineums (?).  we end the class by all floating around on pool noodles (which they call "frites"/french fries) with our eyes closed while the instructors and partners make these deep buddhist-monk-chant sounds.  it's incredibly strange and wonderful and relaxing, and the sprout does a very pronounced happy dance in my belly throughout it all.  after class there's a question and answer session with homemade goodies, and every week our main instructor brings us hot chocolate that she makes herself with local organic milk, five kinds of chocolate and different spices.  it's just lovely.  


DP is busting her bum and doing everything around the house to prepare.  i feel bad that i can't do more to help her, but she doesn't complain...she just keeps saying that i'm the one doing the important work and that i'm giving her the most precious gift she's ever received.  i feel so lucky to have her.    i'm still struggling a bit with being stuck at home most of the time, but i'm trying to have people over or get out and see people at least once or twice a week.   i haven't heard anything at all from my mother since i emailed her 4 months ago to tell her that she was going to have a grandson.  most of the time i think i'm okay with it, but other days, i'm a weepy mess.  i thought having a grandchild would change something in her, but i guess i was wrong.  my MIL calls DP several times a week to check on her and to ask about me and the baby, and while i feel so lucky to have her and my FIL in our lives and in this baby's life, it sometimes just makes my mother's absence and lack of interest or concern all the more noticeable.  i know i shouldn't complain, though.  very soon i will be someone's mother...something that has been my biggest dream forever and ever.  


so yeah.... 5-10 weeks and he'll be here!  joy.gif

post #598 of 641

Cananny Yay for 16 weeks and strong heartbeats! Are you planning on finding out the sexes? Or waiting till they are born?


Lise Your bump is lovely. Thanks for sharing the photo!


Nosreves It has been all about the chocolate around here lately, so that is probably a good direction to go in! My doula came for a visit yesterday and brought with her about 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies that she had baked for Kris and I. I promptly ate 5 of them within 30 minutes of her leaving :(... Your birth prep class sounds kind of amazing. Especially the part about floating around with pool noodles and drinking hot chocolate. I am deeply jealous!


AFM I am officially on call as a doula for one of my best friends. I used to be a doula professionally years ago, and now only do it for friends and family. I have no idea what it will be like doing it in my 8th month of pregnancy, though! 


Since the last ultrasound did not show any movement of my placenta, we are now planning for the possibility that I will have to birth in the hospital rather than at home. If that happens, it is likely that i will still be able to have a vaginal birth, but of course if the placenta presents a problem I will have to have a c-section. We are still hopeful that the placenta will have moved by my follow-up ultrasound in 3 weeks, but if not, I will be referred to a high-risk ob, which will be quite an adjustment.  Right now, the worst part is the lack of certainty. I am feeling really nesty and wanting to make plans for the birth, but also don't want to spend a whole bunch of money on stuff for a home birth if I am going to end up in the hospital.


I am 32 weeks today. The baby has been head-down for a while, but was hanging out in a posterior position almost exclusively. She seems to be spending more time anterior, lately, which, even though that should change a million times before I go into labor, feels like good news.


Hope all of you are having a great week!

post #599 of 641

kateadelle ... Such a great photo of you two!  Our was a shotgun wedding too ... I was barefoot and pregnant!


nosreves ... Family dynamics can be so very, very hard.  Hugs to you.


Cananny ... Your belly is awesome!  


planet ... You only need a break if YOU want one.  It's okay to want to be with your baby 24/7.  As for other people telling you that you need a break, they don't have a clue.  


Lise ... I wish I could give your belly a fairy godmother magic pat from all the way over here!


Pokey ... That's a big beta!  Yay for sticky babies!


AFM:  Trying to keep life from overwhelming me.  My best friend died last week after a horrific experience with the most evil incarnation of cancer that I've ever seen.  Trying to help with her girls and husband, and still deal with my own wee family and work and author stuff.  Exhausted.  I don't like the Cult of Busy, so as soon as I can scale this all back and simplify things, I will.  Until then, thinking of you all and reading along.

post #600 of 641
Nos, I'm glad you're getting some pain relief. For the record, I work part time and do part of the housework.
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