or Connect
Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Appointments?

Appointments? - Page 6

post #101 of 168
Spughy- I would worry too, just cuz I am a worrier! But, my MW warned me when I had my appointment at 11 weeks that not hearing a heart beat is very normal. Hang in there! And enjoy getting a glimpse at your lovely baby next week!
I had the screening done today and I've been on cloud 9 all day from seeing the little bugger. smile.gif
post #102 of 168

I would totally take advantage of it too Spughy!  I hope you hear the heartbeat next week!

post #103 of 168

My appt is next Thursday.  Keeping my fingers crossed...

post #104 of 168
Originally Posted by spughy View Post

My appt is next Thursday.  Keeping my fingers crossed...

I would've done the same thing, and in fact I did get the NT even though we were able to get a HB at 12 week. It took forever & the LO was down super low. Found out at the NT scan that I have a retroverted uterus & that it puts the baby farther away (she had to press really hard on my abdomen to get a good view of the babe). They threw a bunch of options at me too (I'm 38, 39 at EDD). I just opted for the NT. So you don't have to do it all if you don't want to. Good luck and looking forward to hearing some good news.


AFM - no recent appointments, but got my results from the NT scan. Everything looks great!! My risks went down from the standards of a 39 yr old to that of a 20 yr old, so I'm feeling pretty good about everything. joy.gif  I have another mw appointment in a few weeks. Looking forward to hearing that heartbeat again!

post #105 of 168

Spughy - I would do the scan too! Although with a couple of my babies we were not able to hear the heartbeat at 11 or 12 weeks and they turned out alright. With the first I was with an OB and he had an ultrasound machine in the office so I got to see her heartbeat a few minutes later. With the other I had to sit on pins and needles for a bit and went back a couple weeks later and could hear it. So stressful!


I just had my first MW appointment. It went well. Nothing amazingly new. We did hear the heartbeat (I was 12 weeks) and my uterus is high and big! I had a dating ultrasound at 8 weeks with my OB and if it were not for that the MW said she would be guessing my dates were off or twins! I know ultrasound isn't 100% accurate, but I am pretty sure about dates and I do not think there was twin there, my guess is my body just has a super memory since it has been barely a year since I have been pregnant! My platelets are a tad low, which is common for me, but this time we know earlier so I am going to try and boost them a bit. I was worried because her fees went up a lot since my last (which was only a year ago) and I though DH might freak out a little since we have to pay out of pocket, but apparently our insurance through his work got even crappier over the last year and we would still have to pay more at the hospital so he was not phased (phew). Next appointment is in a month.

post #106 of 168

Had my dating ultrasound yesterday, and confirms my dates.  I was pretty sure about the date, but the midwife said she hadn't felt a uterus as high at 9 weeks as mine was (but she's still relatively new).  But we're confirmed now at 11 weeks, due date set in stone a March 27.  And just one baby!  

post #107 of 168

Just one baby for me too!  Had my NT ultrasound today.  Baby was wiggly and uncooperative - which I'm taking as a good sign!  2 arms and 2 legs, seemed to be in the right spots... feel pretty good now! :D

post #108 of 168
post #109 of 168
Originally Posted by spughy View Post

Just one baby for me too!  Had my NT ultrasound today.  Baby was wiggly and uncooperative - which I'm taking as a good sign!  2 arms and 2 legs, seemed to be in the right spots... feel pretty good now! :D


Ha! Ha!  We have a wiggly one too! Just as the technician was trying to measure the nuchal fold, the baby flipped around and wouldn't cooperate.  But that meant we got to enjoy looking at her/him for a bit longer as the tech was trying to get her/him to flip back to the right position.


I had my first U/S wednesday, and it confirmed the date (I had March 22 and the said March 21st...which put me at week 12 a day earlier!! Hurray!  The nuchal fold was also nice and thin and the heartbeat nice and strong. 


I was extremely nervous about this, since last U/S I had back in March was to confirm our baby had passed.  And by some odd twist of fate, that babies due date was Sept. 5th...the day I had that ultrasound.  So "meeting" peanut #3 on the day that could've been peanut #2's birthdate was bittersweet, in a way, but very, very healing.  And exciting too!  I feel like I can finally be happy about being pregnant again!

post #110 of 168

Hi guys! again, I am on the edge of this DDC and April... so I am kind of floating between... but seeing a few other mamas due later March made me more eager to post here :) (My dd, who is now 6 is also a late March baby and my DDC back then was mostly early March folks and I just got full of "why am I still preg??" feelings and impatience.. of course, now I know, my babies don't play by the due date rules and I will probably still "Be here" come April.)


I had a great appointment yesterday- this was my second appt- my first was an emergency visit and u/s as I had a large gush of pink blood & cramping at almost 9w.  Turned out to be a large SCH (a bleed) and was told the first visit that I would likely bleed again and was given the impression that it was an iffy situation if it was an active "Bleed".  


Yesterdays appointment included a repeat u/s to measure baby and the SCH. Baby was moving around it's tiny little arms n legs and rolling all over the place, which was so fun to see! the bleed was still there, but it hadnt changed in size and is not affecting baby. They were VERY upbeat and confident that things will go smoothly from here on out!  I go back in 4 weeks for an uneventful routine visit!  


Bena- so cool that you had such a healing, happy experience on a day that could have just been plain hard.  

post #111 of 168

Just had my second appointment yesterday @ ~15.5 weeks.  I spent time with the other midwife (there are only two in this practice) and I really like her a lot.  She is really aligned with and similar in personality to the first, which is awesome.  She totally knew/remembered that I was declining doppler, so she only brought a fetoscope.  She said, "Well, the absolute earliest I've EVER heard a HB with a fetoscope was at 16 weeks, but what the hey!"  Of course, we didn't hear the babe, which concerned us not at all, but she said my placenta sounded awesome.  Also confirmed that my fundus is moving up, which is nice as everyone except DH and me swears I'm not really "showing" yet. 


The whole appointment lasted about 1-1.5 hours.  Mostly it was a big history-taking, and we also discussed the anatomy scan.  Now I'm leaning a bit away...  She said 80% of their clients end up with at least one u/s (but mostly just one), but she was fairly neutral... or balanced... on whether she recommended any.  She did make me realize that a number of conditions I thought could ONLY be detected via u/s were very likely (though not guaranteed) to be suspected via other means-- which would lead to a diagnostic u/s with good cause, which would be just fine with me.  So...  IDK.  If I wouldn't terminate for Down's-- even if I would terminate for other trisomies/conditions-- the combined total odds of all the other stuff I could "do something about" would be very, very low-- MUCH less than 1% (probably less than 1/2000).  Maybe less than that, d/t my being a FTM, etc.  And that is approximately equal to the likelihood I would lose a baby to miscarriage if I would definitely get an amnio... IF I had any soft markers for anything... which I would. (So, in theory... like a 1/10 chance I would have a marker x a 1/400-1/200 chance of m/c = 1/4000-1/2000 overall chance of m/c if I get the u/s... in a sense.) 


So if that's so, it really comes down to a couple of things--


1) the fact that, even though both courses are close to equally-risky, one is more societally-sanctioned, so I'd be "blamed" less if I had a bad outcome from having had the u/s-- irked.gif  I'm usually pretty good about giving society the middle finger when it's ignorant, but we're all a little influenced by social pressures. 


2) the by-far most likely "bad" outcome of either course is that I'd have a ~10-20% chance of a false positive of some kind with an u/s (either a false soft marker or low-lying placenta most likely to move, etc.)  All things being equal, I guess "unnecessary worry" generally never killed anyone-- and I'd be totally willing to endure it if necessary-- but all things are not equal.  Unnecessary worry is about 20-50x more likely than actually finding anything "bad" that I could do something about.  That's not insignificant.  A tiny bit like nothing-by-mouth for women in labor.  Yeah, being thirsty and fatigued, even though it CAN lead to bad outcomes, is far less serious than dying of vomit aspiration.  But the former is a jillion* times more likely than the latter, so...


3) whether getting an "all clear" from an u/s (realistically, despite my worry, there's probably at LEAST a 75% chance of this if I got an u/s) would even appreciably lessen any general worry I have.  Like...  whether it's more stressful for me to think about having an u/s or whether I look forward to getting one to relieve my stress.  I think for me, personally, the former is more true.


It's a toughie.  And really and truly one of the only big concerns for me in this pregnancy, aside from the general worry, which hasn't been too severe, especially under the circumstances (the very recent loss of my first pregnancy).  Everything else feels very decided and comfortable.  *sigh*  I will be talking this out a bit more with DH and Dr. Mom and see where I land.



*Actual number.

post #112 of 168
Originally Posted by kellykins View Post

Hi guys! again, I am on the edge of this DDC and April... so I am kind of floating between... but seeing a few other mamas due later March made me more eager to post here :) (My dd, who is now 6 is also a late March baby and my DDC back then was mostly early March folks and I just got full of "why am I still preg??" feelings and impatience.. of course, now I know, my babies don't play by the due date rules and I will probably still "Be here" come April.)


DS was originally due 6/30 and then it got changed to 7/2 at my 20 week u/s. I was already active in the June forum so I stuck around. Definitely got the "why am I still preg??" feeling, especially because he didn't arrive until 7/5! Stick around and we promise not to leave you all alone thumb.gif

post #113 of 168

I had an appointment last night. I didn't see my midwife, I saw the PA. My midwife was in a car accident and she is still in the hospital with, from what I understand, some broken ribs and fractured vertebrae. I am concerned because she was still working on her admitting privileges to the hospital I'd like to birth at.. and I can't vbac at Castle, where the ob primarily works.. I think he is more conservative about who ought to vbac as well. Now I am concerned I'm not going to be able to find a midwife who accepts my insurance and vbacs at a hospital. SIGH I think I am really hoping something comes together as far as exiting the islands and getting somewhere with options. I've got some bad island fever..


which all overshadows what ought to be the first news shared. Baby is looking healthy, looking really like a baby rather than a bean.. and kind of looks like a boy. It's early to tell and we weren't in the room with the really good ultrasound machine but.. I think it's a boy.


Also a little relieved I've only gained about a pound in these first 13 weeks.

Edited by beautifulnm - 9/12/12 at 1:00pm
post #114 of 168

We had an appointment last week. We got to hear the heartbeat, it was the first time DP had ever heard one, so that was exciting for him/us. I gained 5 pounds, the first gain of this pregnancy, so I guess that good. The overall appointment was good, fairly short, as last time we talked to the two younger midwives for about 1 and 1/2 hours. This time the head midwife was there, she wasn't able to be at the last appointment, and I think she sort of rubbed me the wrong way.


I wanted to post about this last week, but DP swears I am over reacting and taking things personally (which I do often! I am a sensitive person and tend to get hurt feelings when the other person doesn't intend for that at all.), and asked me to wait a few days, and I might feel different about it then. I do feel a little different about it, but still a little disappointed.


So, what happened is she (the head midwife), started to talk about my diet. I don't know if anyone remembers, but my first appointment at 11 weeks I was having a hard time eating a lot, and went to that appointment feeling dizzy and lightheaded, due to not getting enough in my system. But as we all know, the first trimester was a bitch, and I think a lot of us had a hard time eating. Now, remember this midwife was not at our first appointment. So I am assuming she is just going off from notes written down by the other two midwives, that were there. I can understand her wanting to make sure I am getting enough protein and healthy foods, but I really felt like she jumped on me! She really went on and on about getting enough healthy foods into my diet and insinuated no fast food (which I have not eaten fast food in over four years!), blah blah blah! By the time she was done ranting at me, I felt very attacked. 


In our first appointment, I talked to the other midwives about how I cook, from scratch and use fresh ingredients. I am a total health nut! I drive my kids crazy with all my rules, no high fructose corn syrup, no food coloring, and so on. I pride myself in my healthy cooking and the healthy way I eat on a daily basis. The other midwives knew about all this, but the head midwife did not. I guess it is possible that she just didn't have a clue, and was just treating me like every other patient of hers, but I was offended. To the point that when I came home I started looking around for a new midwife! DP calmed me down, told me to sleep on it (there are no other home birth midwives in my area anyway), and he says that she was just doing her job, and she wants to make sure I am getting healthy foods. 


Now, I do realize that since she wasn't at the first appointment, she missed the half hour long conversation about my cooking and and all that jazz, but I still wonder if I should say something when I go for our next appointment? I have a three day food intake paper they gave me at 11 weeks, and DP thinks I should simply fill it out, and that will show that I do eat healthy, which will be the end of it. 


I guess my biggest thing, is I want to get a good and positive repore with this woman! Because she is the head midwife, she attends all of the births, and I do not want to feel like I have a bad vibe with her. I think we all agree that having a midwife you feel good about is very important. But, may be I am over reacting, and may be she never intended to ruffle my feathers (I am sure she didn't intend to.), but it sort of felt like bad bedside mannors, know what I mean?


Have any of you had something like this happen and it turned out fine in the end? Am I over reacting? Should I say something or just let my written diet do the talking?

post #115 of 168

Babytoes I think you should say something to her so she'll have an opportunity to apologize, which will make you feel more comfortable with her.  Even if, as your husband says (and he's probably right) that she was just doing her job, I doubt she would WANT to make you feel bad, and she would probably want to know.  It doesn't need to be confrontational, and probably a written note or e-mail is best - something like "I realize that you missed the first appointment when I discussed our family's eating habits with the other midwives, and I know that you probably see a lot of families who do have difficulties with adequate nutrition.  I want you to know that I am very committed to good nutrition for me and my children, I cook everything from scratch and we avoid preservatives, sweeteners and other nutritional hazards.  I wish you had this information before our last visit because I felt like an important part of who I am was ignored and my expertise in this area wasn't given credit, and now I feel like we've gotten off to a bad start in our practitioner/client relationship.  I would like to rectify this and make sure you understand how important nutrition is in our lives, and that will give us the opportunity to spend more time on other aspects of my pregnancy."  Then provide the 3-day eating log and that should be the end of that.  One would hope.  I think if you ARE really bothered it doesn't do anyone any good to try to hide it or get past it, because it will always be there festering.

post #116 of 168

I like what spughy had to say, and I DEFINITELY think it's a good idea to address it.  Personally, I'd probably broach it a little more smiley/jokey (wow-- vocabulary)-- kind of letting her off the hook/letting her save face a bit-- but making sure to get the important info across (that you are a health nut, and that she did make a mistake by ASSuming).

post #117 of 168

Oh, and if anyone has been following my long-winded, boring saga, I have-- somewhat surprisingly to me-- made the decision not to get a routine u/s.  It's still early enough that I can change my mind-- in fact, for detecting certain conditions that just need a different mode of birth or immediate neonatal care, it's never too late-- but I am just kind of sitting with it and seeing how it feels to have made the decision.  So far, it feels pretty good, and Dr. Mom, though she would lean towards getting the anatomy scan, also doesn't think that NOT getting it is crazy.  DH is extremely supportive, though he would also lean at least slightly towards getting it. 


It's a toughie, but in the end, I think with my specific risk profile, the skill of my MWs at detecting what they can detect, and the fact that I live 0.3 miles from a Level IIIB NICU...  either course is more or less equally likely to lead to a really poor outcome, and the absolute risk of a really poor outcome is very, very low on both sides.  But on the getting-the-u/s-side, there is much more likely to be low-to-moderate level unnecessary worry (and possibly more unnecessary intervention, if I have to transfer), which could lead to slightly or somewhat poorer outcomes and general stress.  Add that to the fact I'm fairly certain I wouldn't terminate for Down's (the other trisomies being so much rarer), and that I have no personal/psycho-social desire to see the u/s or know the sex, and I think it's a totally reasonable decision.  Not as clear-cut as homebirth over hospital birth-- which I think is significantly more beneficial to me and baby in our circumstances-- but totally well-reasoned and (overall) not an objectively riskier choice. 


So...  We'll see if it holds, but I feel pretty good about it for now. 

post #118 of 168

Buko I don't see what the big deal is about NOT getting an ultrasound!  If you're low risk then you're low risk - I don't see a problem.  I hope you can rest easy with your decision and nobody gives you a hard time about it.  And while it IS kind of fun to see the baby, honestly, they do look a bit creepy in there.winky.gif

post #119 of 168

Thanks, spughy.  I can see definite pros to getting it, it's just that there are cons as well, which few people seem to consider.  I know my decision may very well be different if and when I have another babe-- my risk for genetic issues will go up as I near 40, risk for previa goes up, etc...  and if I didn't live right behind this hospital with its crazy technology, I might make a different decision as well... Because it truly is a game of inches, statistically speaking, and could go either way.  But I am feeling okay about my decision for this one.


I do feel internally like I have to justify it (which I know is a bit silly, but YKWIM...).  I mean, I am all for medical/technological interventions when the benefits clearly outweigh the risks.  Like I'll happily be getting the GD test (especially since my MWs don't diagnose everyone in sight)-- because there's a definite family history.  And they can pump me full of Rhogam for all I care-- I had it during my relatively uneventful m/c, too-- because I know there's a 90% chance that my Rh+ husband is homozygous, and ALL of our kids will be Rh+.  IV abx for GBS are fine by me...  Stuff like that.  And obviously, I'll head right on over to the u/s place if there's any question about anything.


I don't think the older generations will think anything of it-- they didn't have u/s and the vast, vast majority wouldn't have benefited. To them, I plan on saying "I'm not having any elective ultrasounds"-- since I think of routine as elective (or at least more elective than u/s done to confirm other symptoms).  It's more people our age who have given birth in the last 15 years, like my BFF...  U/s seems so compulsory to everyone nowadays.  My BFF has other friends who had HBs, and she chose hospital MWs for herself...  But I think that this might make her (among others) think I am being weirdly anti-tech.  *sigh*  What can I do?  As I've said before, if that attitude is the only thing that would send me to the sonographers, then I'd be making the wrong decision. 

post #120 of 168

Spughy and Buko thanks for the advice. I agree that I should say something, if not for my own peace of mind but also for our practitioner/client relationship. I like the idea of sending an email, but there is only one email address for the entire office, and I wouldn't want to bring the other midwives into it, so I am not sure that would work. Confrontation is not my thing, I will walk a mile around it, not always a good thing but it is my personality. Our next appointment is the first week of October and I may wait until then, although I am not sure waiting is a good idea either. Like Spughy said, it has been festering and I am not fond of that feeling. It's sort of a pain to go to the office on a whim, it's 35 minutes away and also I need to check that she will be there, since it's just the three of them (no receptionist or anything) they're running from this birth to that home visit and not always in the office. 


I might need time to figure out exactly what I want to say anyway, Spughy you had some great points that I should definitely bring up, and I also think I will tend to make it lighthearted like Buko said. I need to get DP's opinion to this as well, he's an excellent negotiator and knows how to talk to people.


Buko I don't think your decision is strange at all. Especially when your low risk, I think the question should be why would you? Don't worry about what others will think, it's your baby and your body, you have final say. This is what makes you comfortable and happy so I say do it!

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: March 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Appointments?