Hi Everyone,
Okay, I need some advice. After being celibate/single for one year, I had a one night encounter with my personal trainer who I had known over the previous year. Since he was moving away, I didn't pursue a romantic relationship with him and two days later, I met the man who I truly love and who loves me. I found out I was pregnant on May 23. I've been reading about this online and pretty much everyone's advice is to get a paternity test. That's definitely an option for me once the baby is born but I'd like to see what some of you fertility/ovulation experts have to say.
My last menstrual period began the evening of April 15, 2012, when I began spotting and the heavier bleeding came the next morning. I was still celibate at the time so I was not having any relations until the date in question. On April 27, I ran into my former physical trainer at the beach, talked, I had a few shots of tequila with our friends and I let my usual guard down. One thing led to another and we had intercourse. The first time we had intercourse was in the ocean and he did not ejaculate. I was pulling his penis out (sorry for the graphic descriptions!) and didn't really notice any precum. Then we had intercourse on land and before he climaxed, he pulled out and a second or two later he ejaculated.
Believe me, I felt a bit weird after that night. Since I had been alone for a year, I didn't expect what would come next. Two days later, on April 29, I met the man who loves me. That evening (April 29), we had intercourse nonstop - twice with protection, four times without as the condoms were hurting me. He used to work for one of those community groups that teach sex ed, STI prevention and hand out free condoms, so I trusted him when he told me he was having safe sex, etc... He withdrew the remaining 4 times. We got together again on May 1 and that was when I asked him (in the heat of passion) to ejaculate inside me. I never did this before in my life! In past relationships, I or the guy would be totally against it so as not to get pregnant but this time it was different. It was as if we wanted to have each other's child. So he ejaculated in me whenever we made love that night (quite a few times) and ever since, we have not used any form of contraceptives, including withdrawal.
I've been in long-term relationships before, a few in which we did not use condoms, and the withdrawal method was used. All of those times worked. I told my partner about the night I had with my trainer before I met him and my fears that there probably is a chance that the child is not his. He smiled and comforted me, told me that he believes that this child is a blessing and that I am pregnant with his child. He also told me that he didn't know if he wanted a child but now that I am pregnant, this is making him a better man and giving him more drive. I am so fortunate and grateful for his support, love and understanding...
But once in a while, I get a fear that I could've possibly gotten impregnated by a man I don't love and I fear that I won't love my child as much if this is the case... I know this sounds selfish, but I don't know if I could bear to look at my child if it's paternal father was my trainer. My trainer has two children from a former marriage and one child from his ex girlfriend... and he left his kids/exes behind to do his own thing. Does anyone know anything about tracking ovulation/fertility and can help me figure this out a bit until I'm able to get a paternity test? As an important note, my periods have always come later rather than the usual 28 days. They were always irregular but almost always coming after 29 or 30 days. Which makes it very tricky to know when ovulation actually occurred.
If you could give some advice, I'd be forever grateful.
Love.
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