Hey there scowgirl! :) I know what you mean about how stressful it felt to feel like you couldn't feed your child... I was there myself, and it was SO heartbreaking hearing her cry, I just almost lost it a few times. :( Ugh. I hope we never go through that again. It was so, so terrible.
Anyway, about the bonding, more than anything I have just tried to be really present with her when breastfeeding and at every other time we're together... At first I noticed that it was so painful, I just kind of wanted to escape it, so I was watching tv, reading, etc while nursing, just trying to take my mind off the pain... But then I realized that I was also not helping matters, because we weren't bonding like I had wanted, and I felt like we were both so frustrated with the whole thing because we weren't reading each other well. So now I pay total attention to her, learning her cues. It really helps. Sometimes I sing to her, sometimes I stoke her hair... A lot of the time (before she falls asleep) she looks up at me, and instead of the early looks of frustration, she looks at me now like, "I love you, Mommy," and that just melts my heart. It has been a rough road but I am SO glad we are here! To anyone who is struggling, it can get better with time... Not that it will be easy or that everyone's experience is the same, but it is just cruel to me that it is so hard in the beginning with everything else we have to recover from postpartum. So I hope this helps someone!
your way!
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