Thing is, the Charlotte option isn't exactly that because my husband would be working an hour east of Charlotte and doesn't want to commute all the way to Charlotte. So we'd probably be about 20 minutes to the east of Charlotte.
Now, the pros for the Charlotte area is there seems to be a lot of homeschooling and crunchy mama resources, plus it's closer to the ocean. The major cons are we wouldn't be in the city proper and the point of our relocation is for me to be able to be in the thick of things and have more of a sense of community and be around more like-minded people.
Side note: I've been struggling with PPD for a year, and now that I'm really feeling some progress happening, I realize that living in super-conservative (the redneck style) southern Oklahoma is wearing me thin. It's a lonely thing to feel like you don't fit in where you live. With DH's company there are transfer options but nowhere "great". These two areas are as good as it gets, which is better than where I am now.
So, back to the pro/con thing, Greenville would allow us to live IN the city, as close to downtown/walkable locations as we can find a house for sale because DH's commute wouldn't be so far to his job. We'd be able to take advantage of the parks and libraries and health food stores and all that, with little (or if we're lucky, NO) drive. There seems to be a decent network of crunchy moms as well, though maybe not as many as Charlotte. Another pro is that DH has actually BEEN to Greenville a couple of times for work and really loved it there. The con is further from the ocean (that's part of the reason we're excited to move to the area, close enough for ocean day trips), and less "big" and more conservative than the Charlotte area.
Now, what I'd love if people who know the area can add anything to the pro/con lists, or correct any false info I might have.
A bit more about me: I'm as crunchy as they get (unassisted birthing, unschooling, super liberal, etc) and an atheist to boot. While I know that neither location is super crunchy, I'd just like a place relaxed enough that I can feel comfortable there.