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Weekly chat - July 2-8

post #1 of 76
Thread Starter 

JULY!? What? I officially entered the 3rd tri yesterday at 28 weeks.  Can't believe it!

 

I probably have updates to share but am so overwhelmed with stuff to do right this second.  Can I just mention that I think "overwhelmed" is a feeling I have a lot lately.  What is that about? 

post #2 of 76

I posted this late last night, so I thought I'd post it again in the new week thread... 

 

 

I've been sort of slinking around just reading your stories and thoughts about birthing last week. I feel a little bit like I can't say anything until I experience it... I've read and read but I still feel like I am a complete rookie and will be until my son's born. 

 

I've been going up and down in confidence about becoming a mother. Up until this past week, I've really been sure about everything. But all of a sudden, I feel like I am hit with all the reasons I "should" be nervous about this. I feel like I'm faking becoming a mother, even though it's obviously happening. I am very young (I just turned 21), my man left me, I'm sharing an apartment with my single 28 year old sister and am on food stamps. The only thing that doesn't make me a "traditional rebel story" is the fact that I graduated college already and have a career. It all started with this dumb movie that I flipped on the other day... It was all about this silly teenager who got pregnant and everything went wrong basically. Everyone felt badly for her, etc etc... 

 

It's a little weird to me, because I never had anyone look at me badly for being pregnant when I first found out.. but now that my man left, I can see the judging looks of everyone when they see my young face with ringless finger... It's really hurtful especially as a foreigner. I feel like I won't know what to do when I have a baby and I keep having nightmares about him coming early and not being ready emotionally. UGH. I feel like such a pansy for even mentioning this, but these forums seem like the only place I can talk about it! 

 

I was really feeling badly the other day and found that the only thing that gave me confidence was when I looked at the US pictures of my son... For some reason, just seeing him makes me feel like I know what I'm doing. I just can't wait until he's here... and I'm so sick of not being able to "get ready" for him by setting up his crib/etc. 

 

On a more physical note, I still am feeling "normal". I have gained about... 12 pounds? I was 108 and now am 120lbs. Sometimes I wake up and don't remember I'm pregnant at all until I look down. and see my big bulge. The only thing that's weird is this (TMI warning) this liquidy discharge that's happening more and more since maybe...24 weeks to now (28 weeks). It's definitely different from the regular discharge that I've had since the beg of the pregnancy- much waterier...and it's def not pee as when it happens when I'm on the toliet it looks similar in the water as smoke does to the air. I'm HOPING that it's not amniotic fluid, but what will happen if it is? Does anyone know? I'm mentioning it to my midwife this week at the appointment. 

post #3 of 76

Anya - Sending out a big hug!  It is normal to feel these ups and downs in pregnancy.  Honestly, nothing can prepare you for the intense love you will feel once your son is here!  There is nothing like it.  I know what you mean about getting nervous about birth and getting ready in general.  I have been havving a lot of anxiety lately just wanting to next but not really being able to becase we are too busy etc.  Just try to enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy and don't worry about what other people think.  I think your story is amazing and you sound like a very strong and capable young woman, you will be a better mom than a lot of women that have the things that society expects us all to have.

 

With regard to discharge I think it is pretty normal.  I am starting to get it too. With my DD I had to wear a panty liner or I would leak through my pants.  And (warning TMI) it would then stick to me and make me raw down there.  Uncomfortable, but it isjust your bodies way of getting ready and lubricating the birth canal!

 

AFM - I am doing great.  I will be 31 weeks on Friday which is totally crazy!  I REALLY want to nest and my nesting isn't that much - just rearranging some furniture, washing and organizing clothes and diapers.  But I can't do the furniture moving y myself and DH doesn't understand the nesting urge so I am feeling really frustrated!  Reality has set in that I could have a baby in 6 weeks...probably not, but it could happen, that is REALLY soon! 

post #4 of 76

Happy JULY everyone!! :)

 

 

Anya- *hugs* to you.  I too am a young mama, I turned 22 last week and I'm pregnant with my third daughter.  It is rough- there is such a terrible stigma attached to it.  I think that your fears about birth and having a child are normal for any new mother- I certainly had them with my first.  I feel like this stage of pregnancy is the worst- there's just much worrying that can be done, and such a big gap between now and birth.  I am in "panic mode" right now as well- for other reasons, mostly just preparing for baby and taking off of work that has me stressed out- but I feel that once the smaller details are smoother out I'll be able to get my head in the game and focus on the birth.  Regarding the possible amniotic fluid leak... if you think it's amniotic fluid, tell your midwife right away.  It could just be watery discharge but I tend to err on the side of caution with that.  All your midwife will do is take a swab and look at it under the microscope and see if it "ferns". 

post #5 of 76

Ava'sMama- Nesting!  Oh, I love nesting.  However I can't seem to bring myself to nest in my own home, haha.  Seriously,  I cleaned and organized our printroom at work (which is also our breakroom, actually our only "room" indoors..) *after* my shift was over.  I think I'm slowly going insane...

post #6 of 76

Anya -- First off, babies are always blessings :)  Always!  And next, I don't care how old you are, how many kids you have, or even whether you're going at this alone or with a partner -- there's never a perfect time for a baby... and nobody is ever REALLY ready!  Really!  Babies are all unique individuals and no needs are ever the same.  And really, nobody is ever going to have 'enough' money or a 'big enough' house or all the rigth clothes, gadgets, etc, etc... Babies need little more than love, boobie milk, and a clean bottom.  That's all they care about.  Meet those needs and everything you do is 'enough.'  As for anybody who gives you a bad look, meet their look, eye-to-eye, and tell them how richly blessed your life and the life of your baby will be because you LOVE that baby.  And spreading love is a heck of a lot better than spreading icky looks at people and judging them.  You have the upper hand.  You'll plow through life and triumph because you have your sights set on not correcting everybody else's shortcomings, but building up your successes.  This isn't to say that life is going to be rainbows and unicorns... it never really is ;)  But that's not the point.  Living an easy, cushy life doesn't really gain you anything.  You don't feel humility, you don't learn so much compassion and true empathy and sympathy (because truly, having been there and done that in the worst of situations creates a much more well-rounded, whole person), you don't know how good you have it until you've been quite low, so you realize just how far you've come!!!

 

as for the extra wetness/wateriness.... I get that too.  Always have.  I've never worried about it because it happens every time.  I think somebody else responded on the last week's thread about ways to clear your mind if you're concerned (test strips and whatnot)... go whatever route you feel you should.  There's no real right or wrong answer.

 

AFM... physically I feel amazing.  Truly.  Sure, I get worn out more quickly or breathe a bit heavier for more mundane things, but really, I feel quite spectacular.  I can't sleep for beans at night (stayed up and sewed a top for dd1 for Independence Day last night until 2 a.m.)... but a lot of it is beacuse it's So. Dang. Hot.  Last summer we had a wonderful, mild summer and didn't actually get over 100* at all!  This summer, it's like it hit the first day of summer and the thermostat cranked up and has only been *under* 100* for just a few days since... and only ONE DAY has had a high of 'only' 89*... Today is supposed to be 97*, so I guess I'm thankful it's not 100*, but it's still very hot and it's still taking a long time to cool off at night (at midnight it was still 80*... and that's hot when you have no A/C ... even with the big box fan propped in our window to pull in the outside air, pulling in air that's 80* just doesn't cut it for nighttime sleeping).  I'm kind of sleepy today... and worried I might get a headache from lack of sleep later (I got *maybe* five hours... and not uninterrupted either)... and of course another hot day... and... fun money issues (dh's ordination is NEXT MONTH and invitations HAVE TO be sent out... and *faint* buying 400 stamps is going to be a killer :/  ... and then HAVING to pay the midwife... and... bleh... it's only the second day of the month and I feel nearly in the hole!... but... we're still floating... barely... somehow... and for that... we'll just keep swimming!).

 

Usually July 4th is pretty fun with fireworks and whatnot, but so much of the west is on fire that there are burn bans/firework bans everywhere.  Thank goodness... I'm really glad for that (it's the only prudent thing to do!), but... kind of a bummer still.  We'll head over to a town of just 320 people 30 miles to the east that always manages to have a huge parade!  I usually stick to making practical items of clothing (because I want the girls to get good wear from them), but for whatever reason, I always love getting together some great red, white, and blue outfits even just for the parade ;)  Should be hot and fun!

 

I will say that since I'm 30w2d today, thinking of the countdown of 9w5d remaining is a bit ominous!  I remember thinking of all I should get done and thinking I had So. Much. Time. to do it all and now it's all here and... ack!  Panic! ... I want to make a baby quilt, I want to make a lightweight (but warm) blanket/wrap/thing for the baby for the winter months and in and out of the car seat, I want to make a few more diapers, I want to get a few more rompers made up too, and then... I still need to clean up the house!!  I want to get rid of so many things (less stuff = less clutter = less cleaning = simpler life), but it's been So. Dang. Hot. that I just feel pretty useless!  I wish I could get one day in the low 80s (after a nice, cool night so the house is nice and cool in the morning) and haul the girls over to MILs and just CLEAN THE HOUSE *really* well all day!! ... One can dream, right?!

post #7 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ava's Mama View Post

 

With regard to discharge I think it is pretty normal.  I am starting to get it too. With my DD I had to wear a panty liner or I would leak through my pants.  And (warning TMI) it would then stick to me and make me raw down there.  Uncomfortable, but it isjust your bodies way of getting ready and lubricating the birth canal!

 

 You phrased it way better than I did.  And... ugh... I have to wear a pantyliner too or rubbing raw *realllllly* hurts :/  ugh... I HATE that!!!  (and it's particularly bad with one pair of jeans I have that never quite sit as high as I'd like them too... and waddling like a duck so thighs don't rub so it doesn't get raw is really not the prettiest sight... sheesh... chalk up another pregnancy joy ;) )

post #8 of 76

hi everyone!

 

haven't been posting a lot lately. but i've definitely been reading and keeping up with everyone :)

 

i am 31 weeks on friday and holy crap, these girls are kicking my butt. i had two days last week of feeling good- fairly normal, no pain, a sudden interest in sexy time with my SO, more energy and then WHAM. holy growth spurt! so the last three or four days have been incredibly tight and painful, and now i think all of my abs are separating, judging by the sharp ripping pain i have all over my belly. i'm so glad they are growing but oh, i can't wait to be rid of this pain. those two pain-free days last week were such a nice breather.

 

it's also very hot and we live in a very old house with no AC. we have a window unit that i've been spending most of my time in front of. when i found out i was going to be pregnant this summer i thought "just watch, we are going to have a miserably hot summer this year" and gaaahhhhh!  i am totally with you, judybean- i can't get ANYthing done because it is too hot to move. even eating anything besides fruit is a chore. i struggle to get out of the bed every morning, have a little iced coffee, care for our cats, chickens, and turtles, and then i am pretty much done for the day. it sucks and i have never felt so unproductive in my life.

 

i'm dying to nest, and get a baby's room set up, even though they will be sleeping with us for a while, but i can't do that because we currently have a roommate who is living with us until september 1st. so the baby stuff (not that we have a ton of it, but there are definitely some piles) is just sitting here. SO brought home a dresser for the girls yesterday and i would love to get it into their room and put all of their little things in it- but it has to wait until after we are out of this roommate-having limbo phase.  by that time the babies will be here...

 

A is still breech. we have been trying all sorts of things- ice packs on her head, lights and music down by my pelvis, pelvic tilts, stern talks from papa, but she's stubborn. maybe a chiro adjustment would be a good investment right about now?

 

i think that is all from me at the moment... happy independence day week and hope everyone manages to stay cool...  

post #9 of 76
Speaking of discharge and pantyliners: last year, I discovered I was allergic to the adhesives used in disposable menstrual products. I had already noticed an adhesive allergy with bandaids and things, but after using internal products for so long, I had no clue that adhesive that wasn't on my skin (just near my skin) would cause a rash. So, I have a stock of lunapads- I loved them for regular periods (even the heavy copper IUD periods), but I worry that what I have won't be a large enough stash for postpartum bleeding. What would you need to have on hand to feel 'prepared'? With what I have on hand, I think we may even have to wash them every day or two. Though with newborn diaper washing, I could easily wash them all together, but we may get a diaper service for the first 4 to 6 weeks. I know you can still get the adhesive-free pads from hospital supply, so I guess I could get a few boxes of those. I know I'll be fine after the first two weeks.
post #10 of 76

AnyaRose - I can relate, I was young (18) when I had my first and although I did have a partner, we felt very judged by others and I always felt like everyone was super critical of every decision I made.  I don't think anything can *really* prepare you for the reality of becoming a mother, no matter what age you are.  The intense emotion, love, overwhelming joy and sense of responsibility, it's all part of an amazing package that just gets better and better with time.  Babies really don't need all that *stuff*, and like JudyBean said, you are never really ready for a baby.  But things always work themselves out.  Feel free to vent away when you need to, cause you are definitely not alone.  I feel pretty unprepared and these are my 4th and 5th babies on the way lol

 

I am so glad to see I'm not the only one who suddenly feels like the clock is ticking!  We haven't done anything to prepare for these babies yet, and I just hit the 29 week mark!  We don't really need to buy anything, but I'm starting to feel very unprepared. To make things worse, we have been finishing our basement and it is like the project that never ends!  By all estimates, the whole project should have been finished by now but it just keeps dragging on, so in the meantime, we have random furniture, boxes, rubbermaid containers and stuff all over the house, DUST everywhere, and a sense of panic because we really need this finished before the babies arrive!  Hopefully the painting will be done this week, carpet by early next week and then we can reassemble the rooms.

 

I have been feeling much more uncomfortable lately.  I get terrible shooting pain from my lower back on my left side down my leg and sometimes feel like I can't even move :(  It's worse when I lie down, but as I've been advised to go on bedrest and am trying to get as much horizontal time as possible, I think it's actually making the pain worse.  On the bright side, these babies are super active, the most active I've had so far, and are growing well so that's been reassuring.  At my u/s last week, Baby A was measuring about 2 lbs 8 oz and Baby B was measuring about 2 lbs 11 oz (though ultrasounds are often inaccurate), and the midwife measured my belly at 33 weeks at my 28 week appointment.  Unfortunately, my cervix has gotten even shorter, and that's been causing a lot of stress, I need to do what I can to keep these babies cooking!

post #11 of 76

AnyaRose- I was young with my first as well- and on a very conservative Catholic campus at that. It was awful to face the comments of some of the older male professors I had- just plain mean. But I sometimes enjoyed a perverse pleasure in making them so aware of female sexuality as my belly swelled!

Lots of others already responded wonderfully and I think judybean nailed it- no one's ever completely prepared for parenting. I think we can all tell by the lovely sentiments you've shared for/about your babe that you are ready to just showering him with love and affection. While figuring out the rest of life (basics and beyond) can be daunting- it sounds like you're on the right track.

 

AFM- I've been doing plenty of phone reading here, and have rarely been posting. I'm feeling the crunch at work to get everything in order before baby. At home we are doing a lot of prep to get our house market ready. We're in a little two-bedroom house and, while we recognize that big(ger) families before us have been brought up in houses of our size, we would like at least one more room so the kids aren't as crammed as they are now. I feel like we missed the boat to list, sell, buy and move before baby, so now we will take our time and move sometime this fall/winter.

Soooo...like others, my nesting is in full effect, but I can't do tons. We've painted the bedrooms recently and I want so badly to get new bedspreads, curtains, pictures, etc. but am too cheap (slash we don't have the funds) to make these changes when I know that at some point in the very near future, I might make different choices! Luckily my boys could CARE LESS about these details- it's all me and I can wait.

We have amassed most of the "gear" we need from friends/family- just need to go through and wash/sort things.

 

I'll be 31 weeks on Thursday and am physically feeling great. Slow going up stairs or hills, but other than that I'm moving along, still riding my bike and keeping up with my kids. Someone mentioned numbness in another thread. I had that towards the end with my 3rd- so far nothing yet...let's hope it stays that way!

 

As for the heat- I usually love hot weather, but this ongoing heat wave is even a bit much for me. I'm not into watering my garden as much as I've needed to- or running our a/c. Although I'm very grateful to have a/c with these 90+ temps!

post #12 of 76

I'm 29 weeks today! My midwife appointment went well. My fundus was measuring 30 cm. Does that mean I'm measuring ahead? Hmmm...

post #13 of 76
Thread Starter 

I had two funny dreams last night - both were quite good!  In one, I was breastfeeding successfully.  I like the positive thinking.  In the other, I went into labor at work again and by the time I got to the hospital was ready to push - even though I had planned on having a c-section.  So YAY!  I like how my sleeping mind is working.

 

Can I be honest here?  I am actually considering a repeat c-section.  I had a c-section with my first and it was completely necessary.  I have always been satisfied and happy about everything surrounding DS's birth.  Well, other than the slightly rough condition he was in, but he is just fine.  This time, I have several reasons for thinking this may be the best way to go again.  Not sure I want to get into the details but I am leaning that way.  But maybe not.  Maybe I really don't know.  My OB is supportive of whatever I decide.  I have to work through this in my mind. 

post #14 of 76

Jend- I have several friends and relatives who've had repeat C-sections without even considering it- just going off what their Dr. said. You know what's best for you and your family and will come to the decision that will work for you.

 

I wrote here yesterday that I felt great physically. Well, today that would make me a LIAR. All of a sudden I have tremendous pain in my rib cage. My ribs are flaring as this baby moves up and it's happening ONLY in the front- right under my boobs. So the unpleasantness of serious under boob sweat due to it being 1000 degrees out is coupled with the unpleasantness of feeling like I have an alien trying to push open my ribcage. Awesome. I would love to just hang out in a back bend position, but that won't go over very well in my office.

post #15 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalovex3 View Post

 

I have been feeling much more uncomfortable lately.  I get terrible shooting pain from my lower back on my left side down my leg and sometimes feel like I can't even move :(  It's worse when I lie down, but as I've been advised to go on bedrest and am trying to get as much horizontal time as possible, I think it's actually making the pain worse. 

 

Mamalove - sounds like sciatic pain.  I strained my piriformis (butt cheek) muscle when I was training for one of my marathons, and the pain is debilitating!  Feels like someone is hitting your lower back with a baseball bat and the pain radiates all the way down the leg.  I had it so bad it burned into the arch of my feet.  Unfortunately you're right, laying down is not great for it.  But sitting upright in a chair can be even worse. 

 

There are several things you can do to help:

-It sounds like you've been red lighted with exercise.  But if not, if you can swim, it will stretch and relax the muscles around the sciatic nerve. 

-Stretches!  Sit with your feet in diamond pose (sitting up, knees bent and facing out, feet facing each other), and lower your knees as far as is comfortable.  Lean forward just a little bit if you can.  It feels so good.

-Find a stable place to hold on, and do this stretch: bend your standing leg and cross the other foot over it, keep bending like you're sitting down with that other foot just above the standing knee.  You should start to feel a gentle stretch in your hip.  Only stretch as far as is comfortable.

-Ice on your lower back will ease the muscle strain and put a break on your muscles.

-Schedule a prenatal massage stat and ask them to work on the muscles around your sciatic nerve (make sure the therapist is licensed in prenatal massage).  When you get home, drink lots of water and ice, ice ice.  Heat will only swell the muscles more, causing the nerve to be pinched tighter.

 

I hope you find some relief!

post #16 of 76

Hello All!

 

How crazy is it that it's July already?  Telling people I'm 7 months pregnant, and that soon I'll have less than 2 months to "Mae-Day" is overwhelming.  Still so much to do!

 

After all the great dialogue about birthing last week, I was wondering how folks felt about starting a new topic this week: "To Work or Not to Work?"  Here are my two cents: seems like there are four common circumstances regarding returning to work after baby comes: 1) Our household requires two incomes; 2) I choose to continue with my career that I love; 3) I cannot return to work (complications, etc); 4) I choose to stay home.  I know mothers from all four of these scenarios, and as different as they are, they all have several things in common: they work their booties off; they make tremendous sacrifices for their family situation; they are amazing moms whose kids bring out the best in them; their kids are happy, healthy, and very loved; and, the most unfortunate commonality: they are judged for the life they have to or choose to live.

 

What's with the judging?  My brother-in-law gave DH an over-the-phone verbal lashing the other day about my decision to return to work.  He proceeded to tell DH exactly how we should reallocate our budget to accommodate a single income.  DH responded with, "my wife has a career she loves.  She wants to return to it.  We're spending a lot of money for one of the best daycare facilities in the city.  This is the choice we have made, that we feel is best for our family."  Gotta love a DH with cajones!  BIL thinks women are biologically meant to live near their parents so they can stay home and have the help they need to raise their children.  Sorry, what century, what millenia, is this?  af.gif  This is what annoyed me so much about the Time Magazine article, the audacity to ask us if we're "Mom Enough" to parent in a certain way, and if we don't parent that way, we're not "Mom Enough."  Do I feel great about returning to work?  I'm not overjoyed at the thought of leaving my beautiful girl during the day while I go to work, but I am fulfilled creatively and professionally by a job in an environment that supports my family... to me, it's a no-brainer to keep working.  If we have a second child, I'll probably pursue a work from home route, but as it is now, I am proud of my decision.  And it's not to say that if I'm miserable leaving Mae during the day when I go to work I can't change my mind. 

 

Having said that, I think SAH moms are fabulous too.  If I didn't have such a fulfilling career, I would absolutely stay at home.  SAH mothering requires an amazing courage and commitment, and it's very hard work.  I think it's wonderful we live in a world where we can choose how we want to raise our families!  And for those mamas who don't have a choice, that requires additional struggle and compromise.  We need to support one another, and our loved ones need to support our decisions.

 

So that's my soapbox.  I'd love to hear what others think!  Also, veteran mamas: tips on staying balanced for us new mamas would be wonderful!

post #17 of 76

I think you can't have it all. You are either with your kids or you go to work full time. It's impossible to have it all. My family (especially my mom) is giving me a hard time about going back to work. Even when I was rushing around with two kids to 5 Zumba classes a week and working part time at the city office my mom would say "Well, when you go back to work one day". It drove me nuts...cause in my eyes I WAS working (and I really was). I made some money, without having to put the kids into daycare. It's not easy for moms here in the US to return to work with daycare being so expensive and basically no maternity leave. My kids are going to a Mother's Day Out program and DS will start Kindergarden this year but what do you do with the kids once they're on summer break? Camps are super expensive, I would have to make a whole lot of money to support that. We eventually came to the conclusion that - for our family - it is best for me to stay home, take care of everything that needs to be taken care of - and my DH going to work. Right now we're in the lucky situation that he gets military disability which is our only income. It's not much but it's just enough to get us through the month without any of us both having to work full time.

 

I eventually would like to return to work. I had actually planned on going back once DD would start K next year but 'wha whaaaaa' baby #3 was a big surprise so part time work at the city office it will be for a few more years.

 

What's sad is that some people see SAHMs as 'uneducated' or lazy or whatnot. Yes, I get to spend a whole lot of time with my kids than parents who work and I enjoy them most of the time. Sometimes I do think it would be easier to spend my entire day around adults than two messy, loud kids LOL, but then again...I would miss them terribly. Like I said, you can't have it all.

 

Oh, and I told DH yesterday that I would be perfectly fine with a job one day. I don't want a carreer, I'll settle for a job, some office job, receptionist...ah...something.  

post #18 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by calpurnia7 View Post

 

Mamalove - sounds like sciatic pain.  I strained my piriformis (butt cheek) muscle when I was training for one of my marathons, and the pain is debilitating!  Feels like someone is hitting your lower back with a baseball bat and the pain radiates all the way down the leg.  I had it so bad it burned into the arch of my feet.  Unfortunately you're right, laying down is not great for it.  But sitting upright in a chair can be even worse. 

 

There are several things you can do to help:

-It sounds like you've been red lighted with exercise.  But if not, if you can swim, it will stretch and relax the muscles around the sciatic nerve. 

-Stretches!  Sit with your feet in diamond pose (sitting up, knees bent and facing out, feet facing each other), and lower your knees as far as is comfortable.  Lean forward just a little bit if you can.  It feels so good.

-Find a stable place to hold on, and do this stretch: bend your standing leg and cross the other foot over it, keep bending like you're sitting down with that other foot just above the standing knee.  You should start to feel a gentle stretch in your hip.  Only stretch as far as is comfortable.

-Ice on your lower back will ease the muscle strain and put a break on your muscles.

-Schedule a prenatal massage stat and ask them to work on the muscles around your sciatic nerve (make sure the therapist is licensed in prenatal massage).  When you get home, drink lots of water and ice, ice ice.  Heat will only swell the muscles more, causing the nerve to be pinched tighter.

 

I hope you find some relief!

 

Thanks Calpurnia, I've had sciatic pain in the past, and during my first two pregnancies so I think you hit it right on!  Thanks for the tips about the ice, I have been doing heat and it obviously is not helping at all.  I will try your tips and hopefully get some relief!  That or my husband will have to start rolling me out of bed.

 

As for the working moms vs. sahm debate, I've done both and really, really feel like they are both tough jobs and I wish moms (and others) had more respect for each other and the choices they make.  Sometimes I think it's just a "grass is greener on the other side" thing where working moms feel that sahm's are just bumming around in their pj's all day with the tv on and sahm's feel like working mom's just dump their kids at daycare and dash off to have lovely relaxing days at work with breaks and lunches and real adult conversation.  The reality is that no one really has it that easy, and there are a lot of reasons that people choose to do one or the other, or some combination of both.  For me, being at home is both a choice and at this point, a financial necessity.  With the new babies, I will have 4 under 2 and there is no way my salary will support the daycare costs that would allow me to go back to work.  That being said, I personally feel lucky to stay at home, I know how fleeting these years are and how important they are in shaping the people my children will become, so I consider myself very lucky to be able to be at home with them, even though sometimes I need to hide in the bathroom just so I can have 60 seconds alone.  In addition to that, I think SAHM's are often judged is they give the slightest hint of not being 100% thrilled to be at home all the time.  It is a hard job, with no lunch, no breaks, no commute to chill out before you get home.  It's relentless and exhausting at times, but so rewarding and wonderful too.  Add to that the financial sacrifices that many families have to make to have a parent at home full-time and it can make things even harder.  Anyway, enough about that -- who knew I had so many opinions on that topic! lol

post #19 of 76

SAHM and working moms both have their challenges, for sure. For about a year I was trying to do both - parenting my DD and DS who were 3 and 6 at the time. I would be mommy all day (including homeschooling DS) while my DH was at work, and then I would work nights from 4 to midnight. It felt like it just about killed me! It ended up not being worth it to work. We ended up spending more $$ on things like fast food because we were so dog tired all the time and on top of that my husband and I saw each other very little. Putting them in daycare would have used all of my income from my job so that wasn't worth it. At the end of that year we all ended up being sick with whooping cough. I ended up losing my job, but it turned out to be for the best. That year was so hard on me that I ended up giving up on homeschooling for a while and put my kids in public school (a charter school) last year just so I could recover. So far the plan is to keep them in school for at least one more year. The kids are open to homeschooling again and in theory I would love to, but I don't think I'm ready to yet especially with baby Benji arriving so soon. All we can do is make the best choices for ourselves and our families - the people judging aren't walking in our shoes. 

 

I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday and DH and the kids went along. She says Benji is head down and my fundal height was pretty well on target, etc. I have managed to only gain 15 pounds since the beginning of my pregnancy according to her records, but I think its more like 20. Either way, I'm glad because I started out overweight and really don't want to gain much more. I have had pretty bad cravings which I need to reign in!! As long as I stick with lower carbs I feel so much better and don't gain too much. Once I start eating higher carb I just crave more and more. But now its time for the 1 hour glucose test in two days. I was talking to my midwife about alternatives because I was allowed to do a postprandial test instead of the glucose drink last pregnancy. She said she'd rather not use the meal but that I could eat a King size snickers bar instead. Has anyone ever done it that way? 

 

Benji has been doing this thing with his feet. He just pushes really hard with his foot just below my ribs and you can really feel the shape of his little foot! He's a strong little dude!

post #20 of 76

First of all, thank you to everyone who replied to my stressed out single mommy worries... It helps a lot to hear your advice!!!

 

As for the working/sahm... I guess I'll be both in a sense. I work full time, but from home luckily. There will be a few times I have to go "out" to work and luckily my sister will be taking over for that short time. I'm in a really great position with this working/mommying thing. My mother stayed at home full time and it was a HUGE benefit to me. She homeschooled my siblings and I and I really couldn't be more thankful that she decided to do so. That said, working mum's are crazy impressive too! I haven't been around too many but what they can accomplish blows me away. (:

 

This week I FINALLY felt the hiccups down low and I'm relieved that he's at least getting comfy in the head down position. (: I found some old baby pictures of me (at 3 months old) and stitched it together with the US of my little man... It's so funny!!! 

 

Me at 3 months old with my son's US.

 

I cannot wait to meet this little kid! Geez, I wish my edd was the beginning of sept in the least... I have to wait until the 27th! 

 

Other good news, the apartment stuff is all straightened out. We will be moving in to a TWO bedroom and I can nest starting August 6th! Things are coming together.... I'm sure it will be NO time before out little ones are here. ^^ Has anyone ever done these forums for pregnancy before? Does everyone just disapear after their kiddos are born or do people still chat in the DDC? 

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