Anya -- First off, babies are always blessings :) Always! And next, I don't care how old you are, how many kids you have, or even whether you're going at this alone or with a partner -- there's never a perfect time for a baby... and nobody is ever REALLY ready! Really! Babies are all unique individuals and no needs are ever the same. And really, nobody is ever going to have 'enough' money or a 'big enough' house or all the rigth clothes, gadgets, etc, etc... Babies need little more than love, boobie milk, and a clean bottom. That's all they care about. Meet those needs and everything you do is 'enough.' As for anybody who gives you a bad look, meet their look, eye-to-eye, and tell them how richly blessed your life and the life of your baby will be because you LOVE that baby. And spreading love is a heck of a lot better than spreading icky looks at people and judging them. You have the upper hand. You'll plow through life and triumph because you have your sights set on not correcting everybody else's shortcomings, but building up your successes. This isn't to say that life is going to be rainbows and unicorns... it never really is ;) But that's not the point. Living an easy, cushy life doesn't really gain you anything. You don't feel humility, you don't learn so much compassion and true empathy and sympathy (because truly, having been there and done that in the worst of situations creates a much more well-rounded, whole person), you don't know how good you have it until you've been quite low, so you realize just how far you've come!!!
as for the extra wetness/wateriness.... I get that too. Always have. I've never worried about it because it happens every time. I think somebody else responded on the last week's thread about ways to clear your mind if you're concerned (test strips and whatnot)... go whatever route you feel you should. There's no real right or wrong answer.
AFM... physically I feel amazing. Truly. Sure, I get worn out more quickly or breathe a bit heavier for more mundane things, but really, I feel quite spectacular. I can't sleep for beans at night (stayed up and sewed a top for dd1 for Independence Day last night until 2 a.m.)... but a lot of it is beacuse it's So. Dang. Hot. Last summer we had a wonderful, mild summer and didn't actually get over 100* at all! This summer, it's like it hit the first day of summer and the thermostat cranked up and has only been *under* 100* for just a few days since... and only ONE DAY has had a high of 'only' 89*... Today is supposed to be 97*, so I guess I'm thankful it's not 100*, but it's still very hot and it's still taking a long time to cool off at night (at midnight it was still 80*... and that's hot when you have no A/C ... even with the big box fan propped in our window to pull in the outside air, pulling in air that's 80* just doesn't cut it for nighttime sleeping). I'm kind of sleepy today... and worried I might get a headache from lack of sleep later (I got *maybe* five hours... and not uninterrupted either)... and of course another hot day... and... fun money issues (dh's ordination is NEXT MONTH and invitations HAVE TO be sent out... and *faint* buying 400 stamps is going to be a killer :/ ... and then HAVING to pay the midwife... and... bleh... it's only the second day of the month and I feel nearly in the hole!... but... we're still floating... barely... somehow... and for that... we'll just keep swimming!).
Usually July 4th is pretty fun with fireworks and whatnot, but so much of the west is on fire that there are burn bans/firework bans everywhere. Thank goodness... I'm really glad for that (it's the only prudent thing to do!), but... kind of a bummer still. We'll head over to a town of just 320 people 30 miles to the east that always manages to have a huge parade! I usually stick to making practical items of clothing (because I want the girls to get good wear from them), but for whatever reason, I always love getting together some great red, white, and blue outfits even just for the parade ;) Should be hot and fun!
I will say that since I'm 30w2d today, thinking of the countdown of 9w5d remaining is a bit ominous! I remember thinking of all I should get done and thinking I had So. Much. Time. to do it all and now it's all here and... ack! Panic! ... I want to make a baby quilt, I want to make a lightweight (but warm) blanket/wrap/thing for the baby for the winter months and in and out of the car seat, I want to make a few more diapers, I want to get a few more rompers made up too, and then... I still need to clean up the house!! I want to get rid of so many things (less stuff = less clutter = less cleaning = simpler life), but it's been So. Dang. Hot. that I just feel pretty useless! I wish I could get one day in the low 80s (after a nice, cool night so the house is nice and cool in the morning) and haul the girls over to MILs and just CLEAN THE HOUSE *really* well all day!! ... One can dream, right?!