Originally Posted by vydalea
A pangolin is an animal that looks kind of like an anteater/pinecone:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pangolin It is the star of Z's favorite book "roly poly pangolin" by the same author/illustrator who does the Llama, llama books, Anna Dewdney. I would say "holy moly macaroni!" to her and she started saying "holy moly pangolin" - it's hilarious.
So thankful to hear that M is getting out tomorrow if that is what is best for him! YAHOO!! Not too long until you go to visit him, right? Did you say the 29th?
I was sure you were going to tell me his daughter was 22. Wow. I will send her energy to come to peace with her parents split and deal with it appropriately and you the strength to deal with her. Yikes!!
Love going out to all!
That's funny-- how old is she? Three? I bet to her, "holy moly" sounds like "roly poly". She might think it's the same!
She's 32 AND has a kid a bit younger than mine. Her parents-- M and his ex- split up some 13 years ago. It's not bloody likely they will EVER consider reuniting. But the ex, her mom, is freaky-deaky, too. She's untreated bipolar and crazy as a loon. She drove L's car into an abutment not long ago, trying to kill herself.
Consequently, L lost her job because she no longer has a way to get there. L doesn't have a license and hasn't had one for years and years. Supposedly she got busted with part of a joint years ago, in the car, and for some reason has a $1000 fine she can't pay, so can't get her license back. I think it's a load of hooey, myself.
Did I mention the mom, and L, and L's heroin addict husband, and her 10yo boy live all together? The husband got sent away for like...ever, recently, I am not sure of the story. She's totally done with addicts (she says). They're supposedly finally divorcing.
It's dawning on me-- has been for years, but this weekend confirmed it-- that that family has survived on chaos and calamity and crisis for a LONG time.
M is starting to get the idea that people don't live this way. Most people. He's so enmeshed with codependency and enabling that he can't see the forest for the trees. Can't tell the difference between love and unhealthy rescuing. His dd has never had a chance to grow up. She's incredibly immature and selfish. She's also a know-it-all and has a huge superiority complex. And it's becoming clear that she has taken care of the parental crises for years-- like when M was hospitalized for leukemia, years ago. It wasn't his ex, his co-adult-- but his then 25?yo...maybe 19, I forgot-- who handled it all.
What a mess. He's utterly non confrontational, as well, which makes it all way worse. I wonder if he's afraid of his dd, a little bit. She's very...she has a very strong personality. Rather pushy. She doesn't care who she talks to how. She sent me a text, when I texted her to remind her to wake up and go see M's boss on Monday-- "I don't need to be reminded on what to do or how to say things. I have been doing this a long time". I thought it was very snotty and disrespectful.
The thing is, though, this is going to come to a head very, very soon. Supposedly she is the only one with access to M's medical information, because she's #1 next of kin-- and Monday 3pm was the last I heard from her. She kept telling me relax, she's got it, etc...and then hung up on me and never called me back. If I had to depend on her to know anything about my sweetheart, I'd turn blue first. She's just pretty much dismissed me as not important. And M is like "well, that's her".
And he's going to HAVE to confront her-- he had bloody well stand up for me! Because if he doesn't-- if his (in this situation) spineless attitude wins out-- then *I* am going to confront her, and either way, it's going to be uncomfortable for him. He's going to lose out either way, but especially if it's me who has to speak up. Because if it's me, it will for sure cause a rift. If it's him, she'll eventually get over it and speak to him, and probably eventually decide I am a person who's nice and not going away and she better act accordingly.
I am not trying to make enemies. I have been way beyond patient for nearly 3 years while she decided if I am an entity or not. I am a very easy person to get along with, and I'm really usually pretty nice, as you all know-- but do NOT make an enemy of me before you even try to get to know me. It will not end well.
What a f**ked up mess.