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Do you not leave your baby with people other than your spouse? - Page 2

post #21 of 28

I never left dd1 at all when she was a baby.  I was a SAHM and I didn't even leave her with my husband so I could go out to the grocery store after she was asleep.  I never, ever, left her.  Looking back on it, it wasn't a healthy dynamic at all.  I struggled very hard with the "balance" B of attachment parenting!

 

Now I have another daughter, and I have a new routine of going to the gym every week day.  So I've been leaving her in gym daycare (it's the same lady every day, so she knows her and is really bonded with her) since she was 8 weeks old (and dd1 goes to daycare there too).  Honestly, I love getting a little break from her every day.  I love running while listening to my ipod, and then taking a shower all alone.  Now that I get a daily break to do some self-care, I'm in a much healthier place, mentally, than I was when dd1 was a baby.  We don't have any family nearby so this is the only way I can get time away from the kids. 

post #22 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by maeby View Post

My son is 12 and never been more than 30 ft away from me in his life.

biglaugh.gif

Impossible.
post #23 of 28
As to the OP: I was a SAHM for 10 years with 4 children. They were mostly with me, or DH, as babies. But, they happily stayed with grandma or MIL when we wanted a night out or when I'd go see Dh's band play. I am glad we were okay with this (and honestly, for our relationship and my personal sanity, we should have done it more - with a paid babysitter, even).

Now, they are big kids - 11, 9, 7, and 5 - a I'll gladly let anyone who can handle them take them (please!) .

My kids are all in summer camp, and my oldest has spent several weeks in another state with her cousins and aunt and uncle this summer.

They're still very much attached little people, fwiw.

It definitely gets easier to be away from them as they get older. In fact, you might beg willing people to take them! at some point. That's okay; it's normal.
post #24 of 28
When Little was 12 weeks old I had to go back to work, and my mom and dad provide childcare. I trust them absolutely, and she is very comfortable with them. I have left her with DH for an hour or so here and there but I'm hesitant as he doesn't read her cues or respond to her as promptly or warmly as I'm comfortable with (he's diagnosed ASD). Now that she's a little older (almost 9 months) he'll be watching her for a few hours in the morning once a week and in September he'll have her for two weeks while I'm at work. I'm nervous, but I think she'll be old enough to handle it by then (and I also don't have any other options). My in-laws made noises occasionally about us leaving her with them "for the weekend" until I very firmly shut them down. She sees them maybe once every couple of months, and their parenting philosophy gives me the willies.
post #25 of 28

It's reassuring to read all these other replies from people who are in the same boat! I have always been hesitant to leave my little ones with anyone besides my DH. We are real homebodies so aren't big on date nights. Even at church I prefer to hang out in the lobby or nursing room with my baby (9 mos) than have him go to the childrens ministry. When I worked in the past I did leave them but it was with a dedicated babysitter who came to our home, and not until they were at least 6 months old. This time around I am not working and am really happy to just be with my baby. If we had grandparents who lived close I would definitely leave the kids with them, but we don't, we'd have to hire a babysitter. I probably won't be interested in that for at least another 6 months...we'll see!
 

post #26 of 28

I was really reluctant originally to leave my daughter with anybody except my husband and she was only with one of us up until 4 months or so, then with my mom a couple of times and even that was nervewracking. We've gotten more mellow as she's gotten older though. (she is now 1.) The "vetting" part of finding a babysitter is what worries me. She has only been watched by people we know quite well or who are highly recommended--grandparents, the church childcare has her for 1/2 hour-1 hour at a time most weeks, and we did leave her with my sister's fiance's parents once, who we don't know well but are recommended through him. I would more readily leave her with family friends than with a childcare provider I didn't have an existing relationship with.

post #27 of 28

I'm lucky, my adult step daughter (22 years) lives with us and DD ADORES her, so leaving her with step daughter is pretty easy. She has lots of babycare experience too.

post #28 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by maeby View Post

My son is 12 and never been more than 30 ft away from me in his life.

I assume you're kidding!
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