Have you tried swaddling M? Cara had spastic arm and leg movements in the beginning and would constantly wake herself up if we didn't swaddle her. We still wrap her at night.
Have you tried swaddling M? Cara had spastic arm and leg movements in the beginning and would constantly wake herself up if we didn't swaddle her. We still wrap her at night.
Thanks for the information, Rosie. I guess I don't even know what normal is, just seeing those bottles and the milk dripping so slowly, I figured something must be wrong.
Caly, we swaddle, but just when he's in the co-sleeper and seems ready to stay asleep. He got a bit of a heat rash and now I'm trying to keep him as cool as possible at night. Sometimes swaddling him calms him and lets him fall asleep, but other times it doesn't and the movement plus being swaddled seems to make him overheat. It's so strange about the heat rash because the house temp was higher before my parents got here and we've been keeping it lower for them and he didn't seem to overheat before. I guess it could be because he is growing and now is the prime time for baby rashes.
Today I pumped 1 oz in 10 min while nursing him on the other side. I went out with my mom for an hour (my first real trip somewhere alone without M) and we got a call an hour later that my dad and dh had fed the baby that milk, but it was kind of a rocky attempt (his first bottle) and he was crying. I had fed him half an hour before leaving, so I thought he would have stayed asleep or calm the whole time. We had more milk frozen, but I just decided to return home, thinking M would be screaming the whole time. He was fast asleep when we got home. I think dh freaks out when M cries and is not yet confident in his own ability to calm him. This worries me. I hope he can overcome the issue.
Thanks, Livingsky, I'm going to try the woombie! Also, I'll try pumping before he wakes up; I can see that happening more during weekdays when dh is up at 5 am for work.
We had a good night last night--M was up to eat every 2-3 hours, but was easy to settle down to sleep in between nursing and diaper changes.
I am seriously thinking about getting a Woombie. Cara has gotten too big for the stretchy blankets we used to wrap her in, and I always feel a little cruel using the Miracle Blanket we inherited from our friends. But I also think we may be just about finished with swaddling. She'll be 12 weeks on Friday and naps well without being wrapped (in fact, she likes to sleep with her arms thrown up over her head). LS and Rosie, when did you stop, and what was that transition like?
We are dealing with our first cold this weekend (brought home, no doubt, from daycare). Hearing my little baby cough all night breaks my heart!
I got the Ameda purely yours pump and have only tried pumping after feeding. It seemed to go better today when I had the baby beside me and was talking to him while I did it. I also think I need to be more patient and play around with the settings to trigger let-down. When I nurse him and then hand pump I get seemingly good results (milk still squirts out), but the flow seems very slow with the pump (around 1 oz each side after 15 minutes). It seems like I've got a good supply because he gained 1 lb 4 oz in 10 days according to the pediatrician and keeps gaining according to the scale at home. I'm going to need to pump when I go back to work in Jan, so eventually I need to find out what works for me.
I can't remember if I have posted to this thread before (I'm going to claim mommy brain), but I'm really glad it's here, and in case I have not already, I will say hi, everyone! Anyway, I totally agree with the others that this seems great to me. After a feeding, I get less than an ounce total and often only get 2 ounces for a missed feeding (we have left DD with her grandparents while we go to football games on a couple of occasions now--makes a good trial run for when I go back to work--and I pump twice while we are gone). I think my record is something tiny like 2 3/4 oz, and she's 9 weeks, and I take herbs to increase my supply! Granted I think she is a fairly light eater and certainly a slow gainer compared to your son (she's averaging about 30 g a day since she regained to her birth weight) so that may have something to do with it. I worry a lot about what will happen when I go back to work. In my mind I really don't want to have to supplement, even though I know it's perfectly fine to do so.
boots--I am sorry to hear about the nighttime fussiness--does he have the other symptoms of OAL such as the greenish frothy stool? DD reacts to nursing occasionally (about once per day, usually in the morning) in such a way that I think I have, not so much OAL since I know my supply is kind of low as I mentioned, but faster flow than she is used to. She'll sort of choke, arch her back, and cry. It's very nerve-wracking... you definitely have my sympathy as I can only imagine how stressful it is to deal with that every day for hours on end.
Calycanth--At this point, I can't imagine DH going on a week-long business trip while I'm working. Yikes! I know people do it every day, but DH is going to be gone overnight this week (the second time he's had to do that since DD was born) and I'm really not looking forward to it even though it's just one night and I'm still on leave. On the other hand, I kind of want to go on a business trip myself because although I miss DD so much more than I thought I would when I have to leave her, I keep obsessing over how the man gets an ENTIRE NIGHT of interruption-free sleep when he's out of town, which to me seems like some kind of impossible miracle at this point. I don't care if the rest of the trip is stressful or a drag... I figure he owes me big-time help after that.
AFM--We are currently trying to negotiate with the day care center we are hoping to use, to get them to use our cloth diapers (I live in Michigan so it seems to be legal according to the vague regulations here... it's the center's corporate policy that is causing problems). We have BumGenius AIOs so there is really no difference handling- or sanitation-wise between those and disposables--nobody has to touch a poopy diaper surface or reuse a potentially contaminated cover, and it's waterproof--you just remove the whole thing and throw it in a wet bag. To me it's sort of like a disposable with cloth insides. I mean, I personally think other types of CD should be OK too (diapering is never going to be a totally "clean" endeavor as you always have blowouts or a little residue left over or what have you... it's silly to feel like using disposables guarantees a sterile environment) but at least in some instances I can see why somebody somewhere decided they were a risk. The BG seem like much more of a no-brainer to me.
Anyway, I am still hoping we can work something out, and the center director seems very eager to help us and to have DD at the center. I will admit I should have thought about this when we bought them, but we wanted to have enough diapers up front so we would have no excuse not to use them. It was a fairly significant initial expense, so if part of the objective was to save money in the long run, I'm going to be bummed (ha!) if we have to use disposables 5 days a week.
I'm going to crosspost from my DDC if nobody minds, I'm really feeling in need of some reassurance...
Ugh. That's all I can say. The past 24 hour have sucked.
Previous to this I thought I had a UTI and started treating with antibiotics (pretty sure, symptoms went away) and I'm scared of thrush (Lyle and I are both on probiotics anyway) also, I had eliminated dairy to help with the colic and because we didn't think we saw a huge improvement and it just seemed random, I started eating dairy again.
Well last night was the worst ever. He just would NOT stop screaming and seemed so inconsolable and in pain. He wouldn't nurse, wouldn't sleep, etc.
Today he still seemed fussier than usual. He also has been sneezing more and coughing some, but his nose doesn't seem too plugged or mucousy. I took him out to a store (it's still freaking 93 here) and he got so sweaty in his car seat, then he was pretty much crazy for the whole rest of the afternoon/evening.
Of course DH decided to stay late at work. I was so mad and just crying. I had to set him in his basinette and just go in the other room, nothing I was doing was working and I was feeling so agitated. DH got home and put him in the sling and he calmed down. Pisses me off, I tried to put him in the sling and he just screamed and screamed.
I have no idea if it's a cold, thrush, dairy allergy, some other kind of reaction to the antibiotics I'm taking (I didn't take them today, which is kind of stupid) or just actually "colic" meaning there is no reason...
I just have not felt so upset and alone and desperate since right after he was born and he was in the hospital. I just felt like I couldn't do anything to help and I am just so tired and not feeling well myself.
We have a pediatrician appointment for Friday, we could go in sooner but we thought we'd seen if he was the same tonight. I haven't had dairy today.
I don't know, I just wanted to get out of the house and I feel like I made everything worse and he's just so upset all the time when he's with me. I feel like he prefers DH and all I am good for is nursing and half the time he fusses during that, too.
Honestly I am just dreading being alone with him again tomorrow. I have been fretting a lot about going back to work and wishing I could stay home but now I feel like even though I wish I could stay home I'm not even fit to care for my son full time.
p.s. I don't know why, but the wombie didn't work for us at all. It was a small size orange jersey one from amazon, I think still the name brand original Wombie. Lyle was 8lbs 6 oz at birth and when we put him in it was so tight it left a zipper line on his chest. We use the swaddleme velcro swaddles still, and love them.
Oh, boots... big hugs. I've pretty much decided that the days like that (and I can tell you that you have already had to endure more of them than I have) are just random. It has nothing to do with your parenting skills. As to Lyle falling asleep in the sling for your DH, I would imagine he was just tired after a bad day and would have calmed down anyway. Seeing a new face may have snapped him out of it a bit for whatever reason, but it's not like your husband has some magical baby calming skills that you don't. Also, they think nothing of staying a bit late at work (as I used to think nothing of doing before we had the baby) but at that time on a bad day, every minute ticking by seems like an hour. If DH is 2 hours later than he normally would be, I'm about ready to tear my hair out by the time he gets home. I know it can't be helped sometimes, but the fact that afternoon is often a fussy time of day just makes it worse to be alone with the baby for that much longer.
I can tell you that we had a slightly rough night last night because Evy was wakeful and fussy due to her vaccines yesterday ("slightly rough" probably doesn't come close to what you deal with every night), and I myself have a mild cold, and I felt like I had been hit by a truck this morning. DH has a big day at work but took her downstairs while he got ready so I could get a little more sleep. I honestly didn't know how I was going to function. In my experience the lack of sleep is just such a huge factor in my mood and ability to cope with DD having a difficult day. I have to give you all the credit in the world for just existing, functioning, taking care of Lyle, and trying new things (getting out of the house, etc.) I don't know how I would fare if Evy was that fussy on a regular basis.
This is probably off base because you haven't mentioned spitting up, but I've heard cough and fussiness during nursing mentioned in conjunction with reflux. Do you think that might be a possibility?
Boots: I could have written that post a few months back! All I can say is it got way better as he got older. I read online about a lot of people with the same 'colic" issues that around 12 weeks things started improving. This was true for us, around 10 weeks the days started getting easier and by 3 months or so he was so much better. I just kept counting down each week telling myself just make it one more week.
As for going out with Lyle: A lot of high needs babies have issues with this. Maybe too much stimulation of being in new places. I went to a lot of mommy groups and ds never made it as long as the other babes without a meltdown. Usually I ended up thinking it was making my days worse, but I needed to get out.
As for dh doing better in the wrap: I think this is common, ds would get fussy more with me because he knew the milk was right there. The whole lactating thing distracted him so he would always sleep better in the wrap on dh.
HUGS HUGS HUGS to you! Some babies are just this way it's not a reflection on your mothering. I know it's incredibly tough now, but I promise it will get better soon. (Man just thinking about how bad it was the first 2 months for me makes want to send you so many more hugs!)HUGS HUGS HUGS!
Hi scowgirl. Thanks for sharing your experience with pumping amounts. Sorry about the cloth diaper issue with the daycare. By the way, it surprised me to read you are in MI--for some reason I think I invented that you are in Texas because I read "cowgirl" in your moniker
Boots, I am sorry about the fussiness. I hope you have a few good days to weigh against the tough ones. M was fussy the past few (3 or so) days (not today) in the afternoons, coinciding with the time dh came home from work and he could not calm the baby. He got pretty depressed and said that the baby hates him. I felt so sorry for him.
I am sure you have tried everything, but we had a fascinating discovery the other day about something that calms M like magic...our vacuum cleaner. We've used white noise with success, but there have been a few instances when he gets really worked up and the vacuum cleaner is like magic. He gets totally still and quiet. I taped it on my phone and even that works pretty well.
I think M's had another growth spurt, possibly, over the past few days. He seems to have turned a corner in general, being more wakeful during the day and sleepy when the sun sets, which I am so grateful for, even if I had several days of hourly feedings and fussiness. Of course, today he's been calmer and sleepier than normal, so I don't know if that means that the spurt is over or I'm in for a tough night.
Thanks again for the suggestions, ladies. I got the woombies in the mail and they were dry from the laundry in time for a siesta today. I got a regular one and--heads up--they are having a sale on the website for certain styles, so I got 2 summer ones (buy one get one free). I melted when I saw him in it, moving around like crazy at first. Then, I turned on his white noise and he was out like a light, though, so I'm hoping it works well tonight, too.
Hi everyone, thanks for the support.
scowgirl, you sort of hit the nail on the head about what we are thinking about Lyle's fusiness. I think he has what they call "silent" reflux, meaning not lots of spitting up but it sort of tracks, he prefers to be vertical, he fusses after he eats, etc. Our Dr. gave us zantac liquid. Boy, is it not fun to give a baby meds, but in a week or so we should see if it will help.
Ram, thanks for the hope that things will improve! He has started sleeping longer periods already even though he's still fussy, and that is helping. I agree about the milk and the sling. If I were only adept enough to nurse in a sling, but that's pretty advanced right now, we're just in survival mode. Right now, though, he's sleeping in the wrap, so it was maybe just a bad day. Just so glad to hear someone from the other side of this!
andaluza, it's funny about the vacuum! We have not tried it, we have tried tons of other white noise (mostly the humidifier) but also ocean sounds which work pretty well. I think I even have an app for my android that has "vacuum" as one of the options. (It's like a white noise mixer, called Relax and Sleep) it also has "dishwasher" ha. if only my house were that clean and the baby was calm!
Livingsky, thanks for asking after us. As I told scowgirl above, Lyle is now being treated for reflux. The doc said it could be a few days before we see an improvement, and we're still learning how to get all the medicine down him. But his sleep pattern does seem to be shifting and even though he has fussy times we're all a bit more rested. Did you get my PM about the Boba? It's fine if you don't have any tips, I was just curious if you did!
So this is sort of my last full week of maternity leave. Next week I'll be going in on Friday, then we have a school break the next week, and then I'm back full time. As fussy as he is, I would give ANYTHING to stay home with him for the rest of this school year. It's just not possible financially for us. Our only hope would be DH getting a higher paying job, which could happen, but not before I have to go back to work.
This sounds selfish, but I know Lyle will be okay with my friend who is his daycare provider, I am just worried about myself. I am worried about stress and the the school environment making me sick, my asthma flaring up, having to go on steroids or antibiotics or other meds that would endanger breastfeeding. I am worried I won't be able to pump enough and that all the pumping will make it impossible for me to get anything done at school, and I'll have to do a ton of work at home instead of spending time with Lyle, and I'll be miserable. I'm trying not to project into the future too much. The hard part is that I really hated my job last year, so I have trouble thinking it will be okay, even though every school year is different.
We took a huge step today and I've put in for what I just found out I'm entitled to- extended unpaid family leave. Apparently per our bargaining agreement, we get up to a year. I just told my principal and I can't say he was thrilled. I know this is the right decision for Lyle and I but it will probably make going back to work harder :( I have put in until the new year. I am thinking I will go back then but if we find we can make it on one income...I don't know. This is just a little scary I feel like I'm alienating other people but I KNOW I wasn't ready to go back. I was forced to use all my sick days before I took STD for maternity, so if I went back (during the the height of flu season) i know I would be out anyway, considering my asthma and tendency to get sick. I just am unwilling to do that right now when caring for a reflux-y, colicky newborn. I don't feel like I could stand up to it mentally or physically.
So now I am waiting for the official word that the form has been signed and sent to HR. I am going to work on focusing on myself and Lyle and NOT worrying about what other people think of me for doing this. I really get sick of the martyr attitude of teachers and administrators ("It's all for the kids") That's fine but not to the detriment of our own health and sanity!
Good for you boots! Teachers need to take care of themselves too and martyrs are irritating. So glad Lyle is a bit happier. They grow and change so fast; he will get over his fussy stage soon.
I hope everyone is doing well. I am thinking of all of you, I just have been too busy to make extended comments. It is so great that the babies are all hear and doing so well. It has been great to connect with some of you on FB. If others are interested in this, please PM me and I will tell you how. :)
WOW I see a bunch of familure faces over here- HI LADIES- I had my sweet baby, September 17th at 11:19pm 8.0lbs at 39 weeks induced for possible big baby- here is my little love Augustus Neale:
I look forward to cam paring notes and have so many questions about coping and breastfeeding. So excited to join over here!!