Boots- Sorry you and Lyle are struggling a bit with the breast feeding, but kudos for all your efforts for your little one- so many women give up on BF in the face of challenges like those.
As for the anxiety/depression, I think it is totally normal. There is so much to worry about with a new baby. I had those thoughts about how easy it is for them to be hurt and how hard it is to keep them safe for both my DD's. Sometimes it was horrible flashes of them injured in terrible ways. I do have generalized anxiety, which I have not really treated with anything but regular, mild exercise (which I think does wonders), but I think new moms often have very visceral worries about their babes. If you still find joy in your time with him and feel like you are bonding, I think you are doing ok. The negative self talk is hard :(. If that keeps up- you may want to talk to someone. Can you give yourself a counter mantra? "I am a wonderful mother and my son needs me here." Hugs to you and your sweet boy.
Edited by CA Country Girl - 8/17/12 at 12:15pm