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Custody claim questions for new separation

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

I had a great lawyer through our legal aid services (free) but since things are moving more quickly than she/we thought they would, I need to find a new lawyer who is not on vacation until late August. While I wait to get a new lawyer (I will likely have one by Friday), the separation may have to begin and I'm not entirely sure what that is going to be like. One minute he says we should avoid the courts and stay friendly, the next he accuses me of abusing him. I can't trust him and his dad is a big shot lawyer so he will almost certainly lawyer-up immediately.

 

So, while I wait to talk to a lawyer, I am wondering if any of you might be able to share your knowledge about some of this. I know things are different in each state and province (I'm in Canada) but it would be helpful to have at least an idea of how things work somewhere.

 

1. Once I tell H we are officially done, if he does not let me sleep and does not let up in his flip-flop badgering (begging, blaming, arguing) and I decide to take the kids to a hotel for a night or two until he leaves for work (Monday), can he accuse me of kidnapping?

 

2. Is it bad if he files a custody claim before me? ie. does it give him an advantage? ie. do the kids have to stay with him until the custody claim is sorted?

 

3. Can I pre-emptively start a custody claim and only serve him the papers once I know he's intending to go that route? In other words, can I make a custody claim without him knowing and then not go through with the claim so he never knows I had made the claim? I'm worried that if I file a claim and he gets served the papers it may unnecessarily make him angry and combative. Or, if I'm even worried about this possibility does it mean I should just file knowing that no matter what he's going to make this combative?

 

Thank you all for your thoughts!!!!!

post #2 of 6

I don't have answers for you but want to make sure you are safe given some of the details in your post. Is there a Women's Shelter near you that you can use? I think the part about him not letting you sleep raised some alarms for me.
 

post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for your concern. I have a safety plan in place and have been talking with a domestic violence counsellor. My next meeting with her is Friday but I don't meet with anyone who can give legal advice until July 11, which is why I have these gaps.

Thank you smile.gif
post #4 of 6

I'm glad to hear you have these supports. Hopefully someone with more legal BTDT advice will show up here soon!
 

post #5 of 6
Thread Starter 

I no longer need help with this - thanks!

post #6 of 6

So glad things are moving along for you.  Hope you are not in overwhelm!

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