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Threats with knives - WWYD? - Page 8

post #141 of 166
No need to feel like a twit.

When you start a new building what is the most important step to take first? It's a firm foundation. You can't build on swampland or soft ground. You need a firm foundation for a building that will withstand storms. Your foundation needs support to build upon.

Think of us not as cheerleaders but as your foundation/support. We will hold you up as you build. We will be your support. We will be there to lean on as you build your safety net for your DS.

If needed we can be the bossy job foreman who nags at you to git er done. wink1.gif.

I know I must sound awfully corny, but it's all I could come up with this morning. My brain is not functioning and I'm pissed off at myself. I forgot to lock the calves up last night and so they were with the milk cow all night. Damned buggers took all my milk. I'm about out and I really needed the milk today. Ugh!
post #142 of 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post

Cheerleaders for making a phone call would make me feel like twit. redface.gif

 

No need at all to feel like a twit. Phone anxiety is a real thing! I think it's quite common. I struggle with it too. Definitely make the script before you make a call. It is SO helpful!

post #143 of 166
Storm Bride you don't know me but I just wanted to say that I'm really proud of you today - I know how hard a phone call can be to make and you are facing it with true courage, obviously showing how much you love your son. I hope your day goes as easy as possible.
post #144 of 166

We've received several reports about this thread so I am closing it until I've had a chance to look through everything. Thanks for your patience. smile.gif

post #145 of 166

Thread reopened. smile.gif

post #146 of 166
How are you doing today SB?
post #147 of 166
Thread Starter 

Pretty good - woke up a with a bit more zip than usual, and finally dealt with my long overdue fridge freezer. It was a drag to see how much unusable food had actually built up in there, but it's so nice to have space to actually use the freezer properly again. As a bonus, I also found the really good ice pack for my back - thought it had been thrown out by dd2 last year (she went through one of those "throw random things in the garbage" phases, in a big way. It was actually way in the back of the freezer - think it had slipped off the pile of stuff.

 

I'd planned to pop out to the farm before lunch and skating (dd1 has lessons this week), but it's too late now. I guess we'll do something in the aafternoon, instead...if it's not too hot...maybe we'll go swimming again.

post #148 of 166
All of my kids have gone through the chuck stuff in the trash phase. I've lost more tv remotes that way! Drives me crazy!

It's hot here. Over a 100 every day and looks like there's no end in sight. I cannot wait for winter!

Today's agenda is laundry, cleaning and making ice cream for later. I have my niece and a granddaughter here and the twins. All are happily cleaning. Caleb loves to mop and clean the appliance fronts so he's on that. Niece asked if she could wash windows. I'd have to be a fool to turn that down. Gd and livia are washing walls. I'm starting to wonder what they are gonna ask me for since they are all being so helpful! LMAO!!

Dh is finally putting a solid wall up in the barn between the chicken coop and the calf stall. I've been asking for that for months. I wonder what he is going to ask for? Haha!!

It's like aliens who want to clean and work have taken over everyone here. If I don't show up for a few days call the po po. The aliens may have taken me prisoner! wink1.gif.

Back to work. Blah.
post #149 of 166

I finally grocery shopped.  It was as bad as I thought it was going to be.  They moved everything in my favorite grocery store and that was so frustrating to me.  None of the aisle matched the signs. 

post #150 of 166

SB - I pm'd you. 

post #151 of 166
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

I finally grocery shopped.  It was as bad as I thought it was going to be.  They moved everything in my favorite grocery store and that was so frustrating to me.  None of the aisle matched the signs. 

 

Oh, I symphatise. A year or two ago, they moved everything in both the grocery store I like, and the grocery store that I don't like. Amazingly, the one I don't like was actually even harder to navigate afterwards. Half the aisles have different items on the sign, depending on which end you're at. They put things in weird places that make no sense. It's basically where I go for diapers, toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo and soaps/detergents. It's cheap for those things. But, it's always...fraught.

 

The other store took a while to get the hang of, but it's fine now that I have it figured out.

post #152 of 166

Well, after calming down I would explain what could happen by playing with knives and what are knives for - but no longer than 5 minutes. I would say that since this equipment is very attractive for him (it is a boy, right?), we need to move those sharp knives for some uncerteain time out of childrens' reach, so everybody stays safe. I would say that he is allowed to use knives when an adult is present. I would not punish him for that behaviour, because I think it can only harm his feelings and cripple his willing to co-operate in this matter. And you DO want him to co-operate, especially in such a serious matter like this.

post #153 of 166
Thread Starter 

I saw my family doctor today. He isn't sure who would be the best specialist referral for ds2 (agrees with me that someone in the child psychiatry field is the way to go), but is going to make some calls. He said he's putting it on an "urgent" basis, and when I commented that I know that's hard, because there are a lot of these kids these days, and not enough resources, he said, "I'll see if I can call in some markers".  I mentioned the clinic I was talking about upthread, and he said, "I was thinking in that direction, too". So, hopefully, I'll hear something in the next couple of days.

post #154 of 166

Oh, good.  I'm glad the doc seems to be on the same page. 

post #155 of 166

This is wonderful, in SO many ways.

post #156 of 166

I've been following this thread, but haven't had a chance to reply until now-- first of all, its awesome that you talked to the doc and that he is being responsive to your concerns and doing what he can, personally, to help.

 

Second of all, I just wanted to chime in with my opinion that I think you are probably the BEST mom possible for the son you described in your initial posts.  Full disclosure, I'm a neuropsychologist, so I have 100% respect for the severity of anxiety AND for the complexity of possible ADHD/behavior problems etc...so I am definitely NOT just blowing sunshine up your butt :)  Number one, since you are skeptical of the medical profession (yes, I realize that is putting it lightly!) when you DO move forward to try to work with medical professionals to help your DS- which you have already done- you in a GREAT position to be a selective and thoughtful consumer.  As long as you are able to weigh both sides of any issue and not just react from a place of your own anxiety and past experiences (or at least able to get other's opinions to balance out your own initial responses) then you are likely going to be in an excellent spot to avoid just "going  along" with what a doctor or therapist says because of their title.  This is a great asset to your son.  Second of all, I don't think that you'll have to give up all or even a lot of what makes your life feel special and meaningful to you and to your family, no matter what your son's diagnosis is... at least not for the long term.  I think that some of the fear you have about that may be lessened if you try to take a long-range view (easier said than done, I know) and try to imagine a year of several down the line when things are much better for all of you.  Your son may temporarily need increased structure, predictabilty, consequences etc. to help make up for impulse control and other issues (whatever the diagnosis is) but often the reigns can be loosened up after a while.  Some skills will be taught and maturity can often really help kids...and even though you may end up needing to make some long-term changes, I'd bet that you don't have to change *everything* and that your lifestyle and parenting style will actually be extremely helpful to your son.  For example, in terms of home schooling, you may end up having to be a bit more structured to make sure he gets any services he needs and/or gets certain academic info at a time/in a way that works best for him, but he's really, really going to benefit from the fact that you can build in unlimited movement/fun/physical activity breaks, can plan activities that are fun for him and rewarding and therefore act as easy reinforcement... you get my point.

 

Anyway, I'm so glad to see  your update.  Just take things one step at a time....

post #157 of 166

SB, I just wanted to chime in and say that I agree with the others and I admire your strength and your love for your son. I know it isn't easy, but you're doing it. You're putting one foot in front of the other despite what must be an overwhelming challenge.Take credit for your actions and go easy on yourself for the days when it's harder to move forward. You are a great Mom and it's obvious you have the best interest of all you kids in mind. 
 

post #158 of 166

Good job Lisa!  I'm hoping everything turns out well.  Lots of love!

post #159 of 166
Thread Starter 

Thanks, all.

 

DS2 had a great day today. It's always terrific when that happens. :)

post #160 of 166

I kept meaning to write on this thread. My little brother was like this. He would go get steak knives and even literally threaten us with them. "I'm going to kill you!" It was nuts. I boutght him a few fake wooden swords at a fair and that seemed to take his interest away. He is now a college student at a good university and is the sweetest most helpful man ever. HE has serious communication issues but hes worked around them. I'm sure he could have benefited from help as a kid but I wanted tot ell you he is pretty fine. He grew out of the knife thing in a span of 6 months.

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