I was at a barbecue yesterday at a friend's house and am SO confused. I didn't know the other families there all that well, but my friend is pretty GD/natural living/AP and has mentioned that these friends are like-minded. None of us knew each other, so I can't really vouch for that, only for what I saw.....
Which was, one child had been in the pool and had climbed out to vomit. I looked over, and just saw her crouched on the ground near the pool, vomiting in the grass. Her mom didn't get out of her chair, and her dad didn't leave the pool or even go over to her. If my child was vomiting, I'd be right there to rub her back/help in any way I could. Obviously, she was fine, and I didn't go over b/c she didn't know me, but I really just wanted to go and give her a hug and whisper to her that she'd be okay. (She's about 3-4 years old, not sure.) Am I crazy? Shouldn't SOMEONE have gone over there? (The parents said she wasn't sick, just swallowed water or ate too recently or something.)
Then there was a scuffle over toys. Everyone agreed, let them work it out. (Kids were all between the ages of 3 and 6, with the exception of the babies.) One child was despondent over having to share his stuff; he just couldn't let it go even though he was using other kids' toys too. When his mom tried to talk to him about it, the other moms told her to let it go and let him figure it out on his own. Well, yes, the sharing part, but he was crying and very upset, having trouble sorting out what he needed to do. Isn't it our job as parents to help them sort things out and learn to think things through so they can fix their own "problems," no matter how silly they seem to us?
Just b/c it's "normal" and "age appropriate," does that mean we leave them to their own devices?
There was another incident between two of the boys who were friends. I didn't see what happened but apparently one boy was hit in the face by accident and was upset. He wasn't hurt, and his mom just let it go since he didn't come crying to her for comfort. Fine, I can see that being a good time to let them sort things out. But then suddenly the boy who had done the accidental hitting was sobbing harder than his friend. He was SO upset he couldn't speak. His mom made no move to comfort him or even to find out what the problem was. I thought maybe he was upset that he'd hurt his friend -- shouldn't he have had someone reassure him his friend wasn't badly hurt? Obviously, he could see that, but still, these are LITTLE kids, not 10-year-olds. I really wanted to give the kid a hug and couldn't believe his mom wasn't right there to comfort her little boy.
Am I crazy to think that these moms should have done a little more for their kids in these situations? I know I enjoyed letting the kids play and chatting with other moms/dads but I also made sure that my kids were happy and safe and behaving nicely. And when they weren't, I took care of it. Or maybe I do need to lighten up (I often think that) and these moms are right -- they definitely seem to be more laid back and relaxed than I am! What do you all think?